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01-05-2015, 04:39 AM | #1 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: E.Stroudsburg, Pa.
Posts: 67,950
| Diary of a snow shoveler PENNSYLVANIA WINTER Wonderland December 8: 6:PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow! December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the Landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I’ve ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life. December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we’ll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we’ll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I’ll never want to see snow again. I don’t think that’s possible. Bob is such a nice man. I’m glad he’s our neighbor. December 14: Snow, lovely snow! 8” last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn’t realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I’ll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn’t huff and puff so. December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife’s car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that’s silly. We aren’t in Alaska, after all. December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel. December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should’ve bought a wood stove, but won’t admit it to her. God I hate it when she’s right. I can’t believe I’m freezing to death in my own living room. December 20: Electricity’s back on, but had another 14” of that damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. ******* snowplow came twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they’re too busy playing hockey. I think they’re lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they’re out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they’re lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he’s lying. December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white stuff fell today, and it’s so cold it probably won’t melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get dresses up to go out to shovel, then I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a snow blower on his truck for the rest of the winter; but says he’s too busy. I think Bob is lying. December 23: Only 2” of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she ….nuts??? Why didn’t she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she’s damn well lying. December 24: 6”. Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snowplow, I’ll brag him through the snow by his balls. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I’ve just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the ******* snowplow. December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the *@%&^*^&$# slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she’s an idiot. If I have to watch “it’s a Wonderful Life” one more time, I’m going to kill her. December26: Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She’s really getting on my nerves. December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze. December 28: Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE wife is driving me crazy!!! December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That’s the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am? December 30: Roof caved in. The snowplow driver is suing me for a million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home to her mother. 9” predicted. December 31: Set fire to what’s left of the house. No more shoveling. January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
__________________ Joan, mom to Cody RIP Matese Schnae Kajon Kia forever in my A House Is Not A Home Without A Dog |
Welcome Guest! | |
01-05-2015, 04:59 AM | #2 |
YT 2000 Club Donating Member | ROFLBO Well done. Thanks for the morning chuckles
__________________ Razzle and Dara. Our clan. RIP Karma Dec 24th 2004-July 14 2013 RIP Zoey Jun9 th 2008-May 12 2012. RIP Magic,Mar 26 2006July 1st 2018 |
01-05-2015, 07:20 AM | #3 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Aberdeen, MD
Posts: 550
| This is so cute! I would think that most of us can relate to this on some level. Mike (alaskayorkie) should see this! I printed it out and it's now hanging on the fridge!
__________________ Shannon & Puff "All his life he tried to be a good person. Many times, however, he failed; for after all he was only human. He wasn't a dog." Charles M. Schultz |
01-05-2015, 09:15 AM | #4 |
Donating YT 6000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: New York
Posts: 17,733
| Thank you Joan for this! Had a good laugh! Most of it is true!
__________________ Dyan, Mom to Bentley |
01-05-2015, 09:35 AM | #5 |
♥ Love My Tibbe! ♥ Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: D/FW, Texas
Posts: 22,140
| When my brother, born and raised in Dallas, moved to Colorado Springs years back, he sent this to us and we are still laughing!!! Actually, he lasted there 5 years and moved to Albuquerque to get away from all that Colorado snow but remain near the mountains as he and the wife are hikers. He said this story is truer than anyone can imagine! LOL. Thanks for reviving it. It's still one of the funniest things I've ever read.
__________________ Jeanie and Tibbe One must do the best one can. You may get some marks for a very imperfect answer: you will certainly get none for leaving the question alone. C. S. Lewis |
01-05-2015, 11:18 AM | #6 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Alaska
Posts: 3,299
| Haha! Made me laugh |
01-05-2015, 12:29 PM | #7 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: west long branch, n.j.
Posts: 4,457
| Right now, it's funny. Later in the winter my husband may not think so.
__________________ Joan, Bubba and Sissy-BEWARE OF PUPPY MILLS breathe in, breathe out, move on -jb |
01-05-2015, 01:25 PM | #8 |
Rosehill Yorkies Donating YT Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Houston Texas
Posts: 9,462
| Thank you sooooooo much for posting this!!! When my brother first moved from Texas to Reno, Nevada flying for Super Shops, his first letter to me was sooooooo close to the beginning of this letter....then as he was there longer and longer, this very letter unfolded right in front of his eyes and became his reality!!! After a winter in Reno, He was talking just like the end of this letter!!!! I died laughing at my brother's discovery that the gorgeous white snow was NOT what it was cracked up to be!!!! A couple of years later, he sent me this very letter and asked me if it reminded me of his communications to me from Reno! I laughed my butt off, because it was so very close to what he had actually said! Thanks for posting it.....I will save it this time for future reference or a much needed chuckle!!! |
01-05-2015, 05:57 PM | #9 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: E.Stroudsburg, Pa.
Posts: 67,950
| Glad you enjoyed this, I know I did. I don't mind the snow I don't mind being nearly pulled off my feet by my snow blower and I don't mind all the shoveling what I do mind is that &%$^*%^ snow plow. Boy can I relate to this lol
__________________ Joan, mom to Cody RIP Matese Schnae Kajon Kia forever in my A House Is Not A Home Without A Dog |
01-05-2015, 08:41 PM | #10 |
Rosehill Yorkies Donating YT Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Houston Texas
Posts: 9,462
| I am still in stunned amazement at having to SHOVEL SNOW OFF YOUR ROOF!!!!!!!! OMG!!! What kind of cruel joke is that???!!!! |
01-05-2015, 10:16 PM | #11 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Alaska
Posts: 3,299
| We have have to shovel our roof a lot.....it's flat and it used to leak a lot until we got it redone. Who makes a flat roof in Alaska!? lol Last edited by ilovejoel; 01-05-2015 at 10:17 PM. |
01-05-2015, 10:47 PM | #12 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: NJ
Posts: 1,354
| Snow is only pretty in pictures, IRL it's just evil. Especially a few days later when it's black and nasty. Idk what we're gonna do this winter, I have major pain issues, my mom has a torn rotator cuff (from shoveling last year), and my grandmom is in her 70's. Where are the teenage boys when you need them? This is my mom's 3rd major snow removal related injury. We have a snow blower, that caused one of her injuries. |
01-06-2015, 02:14 AM | #13 | |
YT 2000 Club Donating Member | Quote:
LOL LOL - There is a reason you see all those steep A shaped houses in Sweden Switzerland etc.
__________________ Razzle and Dara. Our clan. RIP Karma Dec 24th 2004-July 14 2013 RIP Zoey Jun9 th 2008-May 12 2012. RIP Magic,Mar 26 2006July 1st 2018 | |
01-06-2015, 04:38 AM | #14 | |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: E.Stroudsburg, Pa.
Posts: 67,950
| Quote:
__________________ Joan, mom to Cody RIP Matese Schnae Kajon Kia forever in my A House Is Not A Home Without A Dog | |
01-08-2015, 11:41 AM | #15 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Northern VA
Posts: 3,192
| I saw this on my FB that relates to Christmas... Totally cracked me up so I thought I'd share. Why It's Impossible To Have A Christmas Party In 2014. This Is Gold. |
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