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Lend money to friends -- especially ones who ask you all the time. They have more experience in paying you back. |
Do have a personal relationship with your boss. In no way does this make the office environment suck and super awkward! |
Guys, don't worry if you forget your anniversary. She'll understand. |
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And if she asks, "Does this dress make me look fat," be brutally honest. That's what she wants to hear. |
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Drink all the tap water you want when visiting Mexico. |
Never waste money on or actually go a step farther and wear protective eye gear when doing, yard work, wood, metal or otherwise that 'highly suggests' you do so. |
Go ahead and speed through that school zone because all of the kiddos will think it's a game and dodge you! :eek: |
Everyone wants your opinion. |
Definitely have 2-3 tequila shots before any job interview. |
Two wrongs make a right. |
Be sure to try and jump in front of anyone you can at a checkout line. People will think your behavior is adorable. |
Brown nose the boss, rat on & gossip about all your colleagues, take credit for every good idea first, raid the fridge of someone's afternoon snack as often as possible, never replace copypaper in the copier, chat frequently & loudly on personal calls as others work - and you will be voted "Employee of the Month" by your coworkers time after time. |
Don't worry about saving money for a rainy day or emergency. You don't really need to check the oil level or tire pressure on cars. |
Start playing golf to relax. |
If you have a blemish of ANY kind, make sure you pick at it unmercifully until it bleeds, over and over again:laugh: |
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If your house isn't as nice as your favorite celebrity's, try to correct that ASAP. Buy high, sell low. |
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For men: catcalling women on the street TOTALLY works. Most of them will immediately try to have sex with you. |
What!? I love golf-people drink and drive on the courses (joking-kinda)... it's the real actual golfers who get all agro and "un-relaxed" with me on the course constantly yelling, "heads! incoming! sorry! no as a matter of fact I don't know how I managed to hit the ball backwards behind me and nailed you with it" Ironically same thing happens on the tennis court too |
To insure your going to have a "fun" time with your man....when he's disrobed ask him if he's cold. |
Believe everything you hear. |
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Just because he cheats on you does not mean he'll do it again and that he does not love you whole heartedly, like you deserve. Stay with him, you'll be happy again. |
To housetrain a dog, rub its nose in any mistakes and swat it with a rolled up newspaper. A dog that is terrified of you will at least respect you. |
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When posting on an online forum, be rude and try to irritate people. You'll never run into any of them in real life, so who cares what they think? |
Always be late when meeting your friends or family. That way they will be sure to know that your time is more important than theirs. |
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