DH has no sense of money management it seems.

[RachelandSadie]

Originally Posted by RachelandSadie

i think in this day and age that's all we can do. Trust God that He will always provide and protect us no matter how much harder the times get. they are supposed to get hard, it's the end times I really believe. always ups and downs but i think it will only get harder the closer we are to the end. just pray that He protects and keeps us safe and sound and provides our basic needs. anything more is a blessing.

i did just talk to Banfield about possible interview for a vet assistant position. depending on pay and flexible hours it might be a great start to get really experienced in vet care. not my 1st choice of hospitals to work for because i doubt i'll totally agree with all their ways, but at least it's mostly hands on and lots and lots of experience and they are more willing to take a chance on someone without a degree to learn the procedures and then i can move up and on to a bigger and better hospital with better practices. gotta start somewhere so we'll see how that goes.

[Harrysmum]

Sorry to butt in from all this way away!! It's just that I do think this is a worldwide problem and it's very scarey.

I had to go back to work 6 weeks after my son was born (30 years ago now, aaargh!) - fortunately my mum was able to look after him. I did pay her - but nowhere near the going rate (sorry, mum!! ). But presumably that's not an option for you?

I too was going to suggest you doing doggy day care - but my first thought was how about setting up your own child care facility in your own home?

I had all the 'criminal checks' (!!!) and took a course in child minding, then was able to look after babies and children at home. It sorted our child care issues and the money really added up. Worth a thought? Sally + Harry x

[DvlshAngel985]

Sorry Rachel! I'm no good in any of that. I've never had my own family I worry about. I might not be able to give you advice on that, but I do know cars! That's all me and my friends talk about. (I don't have a lot of girlfriends) there are very affordable new cars out there that can help stretch your dollar. I'm not talking about the expensive hybrids either. They're also not very "cool." They'll get you need to go without spending an arm and a leg. I'll help you research cars when you're ready.

[gloriajean]

Maybe since day care is such a problem others are having the same problem in your area? Maybe you do babysitting as a job? just a couple of kids could really bring in the money. Good Luck and God bless

[RachelandSadie]

Originally Posted by gloriajean

Maybe since day care is such a problem others are having the same problem in your area? Maybe you do babysitting as a job? just a couple of kids could really bring in the money. Good Luck and God bless

i've thought of this off and on i just don't want to bring another child into my home or my child into any other homes. it bugs me to think i might bring germs into my house and make my infant sick and i don't want other people's kid's slime and snot and poop in my house on my nice things. your own is different, someone else's not so much

[sugarmamma]

Originally Posted by RachelandSadie

i've thought of this off and on i just don't want to bring another child into my home or my child into any other homes. it bugs me to think i might bring germs into my house and make my infant sick and i don't want other people's kid's slime and snot and poop in my house on my nice things. your own is different, someone else's not so much

First child Syndrome.....you get over it ~

[cathys]

I'm so sorry your having a hard time. We went through this with our first born too. I helped by babysitting for other Mothers in the same spot. It worked for us. Good luck.

[capt_noonie]

What about buying a slightly used car? When my last car broke down last year (it was a 96 Corolla w over 200,000 mi) my dad found me a 05 Hyundai Accent. It's just a dorky looking like hatchback but gets great mileage 30+mpg, insurance is cheap as hell, with only 30,000 mi on it for less than $6000. Driving around a car like that isn't really all the safe either, esp when you will be driving around with the baby.

[Harrysmum]

Originally Posted by sugarmamma

First child Syndrome.....you get over it ~

And very, very quickly!!! Sally x

[Bitsy]

I just want to encourage you on staying home with your son if at all possible. Getting a job for when you know your husband would be home with the baby would be okay too.

You'd be surprised how much money you can save if you don't eat out, and pinch and save here and there.

My son had to go to a babysitter's house the first four years of his life. I was miserable about it. When I finally got to quit my job and stay home was the happiest I've ever been in my life. I was able to stay home with my next two kids the entire time. NOTHING can replace those years when your child needs you most.

I'm a very strong supporter for staying home with your kids if it is at all possible. Sometimes it isn't, and it is really sad when that is the case. Good luck to you!

[My lil friend]

I have been a stay home mom for 25yrs. When I quit my job,we had no debt except a house payment. I cut our income by 2/3s and my husband was shocked that I decided to stay home. I told him that I wasn't giving birth to babys so someone else could raise them. He and I have done without,I have made something from next to nothing,re-evaluated what is and is not important,made bday and Christmas gifts out of not much,literally used the change in my piggie bank so I could purchase lunch out with my friend. I have friends that gave up their car so there would not be gas,payment or insurance costs. I would take them places and they would cook a roast for me. I sew and made nice things for my friends and they would purchase a piece of fabric for me that I wanted. Twice a year my two best friends and I would get together and trade kids clothes around as well as our clothing. Between the 3 of us we have 16 children,so whoever was pregnant got the maturnity clothes. I stayed out of the malls unless it was winter and then it was so my kids could use the playground inside,I even packed lunches for the foodcourt but purchased a cookie for each of them. We did not eat out for several years,we planned dinners at each others house for Fri nite or Sunday lunch.
I would never trade what other people would consider "the tuff times",I learned so much and have passed it on to my 6 children,they have thanked me for it. This seems to mean alot to you and I believe that you will make it work. You may need to be the one to take care of the bills and budgeting for a while. I did that too,so I wouldnt spend money and to relieve my husband from having to do it. I also made sure that the house was clean and the yard was done. I didnt want my husband to work away from home all week and then spend the weekend in the yard.
You can do this! If this is your dream to be home with your child,you will figure out a way.
Blessings to you and your family

[celstu1]

What about work from home jobs? Like medical billing/transcription? My fiance's sister does this..... she makes GREAT money $17/hr, and her hours are pretty flexible. I mean she can do the work in the morning or evening or even overnight (if she had small children). Hospitals & doctors offices do this from across the country, so you may get a job doing this in another state and be able to do it from home. Having children unfortunately for most people requires lots of sacrifices. Having 1 newer/safer vehicle at least with a new baby is not a bad idea...
I know how stressful money management can be. I owned my own house and even w/o children or a sig other, I had to figure out the bills when my pay kept going down and my bills kept going up. Its stressful but you get yourself on a budget, you coupon shop, you stop spontaneous spending (one of my issues!), you love steak, you eat turkey, etc... and slowly things will get easier and money will increase with raises/bonuses, etc... as the years go by.
Good Luck sweetie... but remember if you do need help, the whole world is not bad and there are many private day cares run by wonderful people who will give your child the individual care he'll need or you'll want him to have.

[jeanm1963]

First let me say being the mom of 3 children I know where you are coming from, but I think most moms here are going to tell you there is NEVER enough money EVER, so keeping that in mind you just have to figure out a way to make it work! When I had my first two children we were VERY young 21 first baby 23 second.. My husband worked odd hours but did have weekends off work, I decided to waitress ( even though I never had before) I made a few hundred just working the weekends ( cash tips), and he has special times with the kids. Later I had another baby when my kids were 12-9 years old... they were in school so I was all set... I needed a babysitter so I could work part time, I called the local high school and was lucky because they had a " child care" program for kids who wanted to do that when they graduated. You could try that and get a responsable teenager , good grades etc....You can still manage with working evenings even if you have to hire someone for just a couple hours till hubby gets home. I found waitressing the most profitable with limited hours , cash in had , I used my money for Gas , groceries and take out food, it certainly helped and I was able to stay home all week with the baby!

[jeanm1963]

Originally Posted by RachelandSadie

i did just talk to Banfield about possible interview for a vet assistant position. depending on pay and flexible hours it might be a great start to get really experienced in vet care. not my 1st choice of hospitals to work for because i doubt i'll totally agree with all their ways, but at least it's mostly hands on and lots and lots of experience and they are more willing to take a chance on someone without a degree to learn the procedures and then i can move up and on to a bigger and better hospital with better practices. gotta start somewhere so we'll see how that goes.

This might be a great start, I know in my area they are open certain evenings as well as weekends... A neighbor works as a vet assistant and then on weekends for extra cash is a groomer assistant... Like I said where there is a will there is a way. Another job I had part time was working at Gymboree ( childrens clothing store) again I worked evenings and 2 weekend days per month... I actually worked my way up to assistant manager, it was a great job, very flexable with hours and I got 40% off all the clothing I purchased.

[Teresa Ford]

Rachael it is fine to vent here. I can see why you feel stressed.
I really don't have any new advice to offer. My husband and I worked oppsite shifts for 12 years so we didn't have to pay a babysitter. I also traded babysitting with other moms, when hubby was still in Army (it was like being a single parent) Being crafty I sold craft items at the flea market and street fairs. I taught puppy training classes and beginner's quilting classes. I went to church and met other young moms we traded play dates and babysitting. I learned I could save hundreds of dollars by clipping coupons and making a shopping list. I only grocery shopped. I stayed out of super stores that sold everything. I did not buy my tiny babies designer clothes or fancy stuff. They out grew all that too quickly. I took back most of cute pricey baby clothes that were shower gifts and got diapers instead. I breast feed and saved tons of money that way too. I prayed a lot. It will work out. Someday you will be giving advice to a new mom and your own hints.
In my opinion staying home with your son is well worth the financal sacrfice. I am so proud of my daughter in-law she is a stay at home mom by choice (she is a lawyer).