Preteen/teen moms

[Lexi's_Mommy]

Originally Posted by centralnewyorki

If you have a talk with your daughter and she looks in magazines to show you what she thinks is an ideal body type, make sure that you point out that A LOT of air brushing is done to those pictures. There was a huge article in 17 magazine that was highlighted on the Today Show. An actress, who has an amazing body, showed her photo with all of the mark-ups on what to change. They skimmed everything, lengthened her legs, darkened her jeans, enhanced her chest- you name it!

I went through the same thing. I was heavy as a child and once I hit 9th grade, I started with some very unhealthy eating habits. I still can hardly ever sit at a meal and enjoy myself without thinking about the calories, fat, or amount of exercise needed to get rid of the calories and fat. Unfortunately, I think it's something that most girls go through at that age. Make sure that you aren't making comments about your weight or appearence in front of her. You can tell her she's beautiful all day, but if you look good and are critical of yourself, your actions will speak louder than your words.

I would just say to tell her that it's natural to feel uncomfortable with her body at this point. Tell her that she's beautiful, healthy, and has a beautiful heart. She is having these feelings and will continue to, so I would just monitor her eating and exercising habits to make sure that nothing gets out of control. Also, don't get frustrated and tell her to stop saying things about her body. She'll continue to have these feelings whether she voices them to you or not. If she can't turn to you with her insecurities, then she might make some unwise decisions on her own.

I can honestly say the only thing I have ever commented about myself was I wish I could gain 10 lbs and preferrably in the chest. I can asure you I'm not saying anything at all about myself and weight in front of her ever again. As for healthy eating, my kids do eat very healthy. I cook everynight and start every meal with a salad...

[stinky]

She’s perfect. You know, people are actually paying to inject fat into their faces for that youthful look. Of coarse at her age she probably wishes she was older but…still. If you haven’t exhibited any negativity towards your own body and food than you probably won’t have a problem. It’s no wonder a kid would want to be on a diet. EVERYONE is on a diet. Every time you turn on the TV you’re inundated with the latest diet crap. When I was a kid I wanted to “be on a diet” because I thought that’s what grown up girls did and my Mom never talked about weight. It has a lot to do with the media.

[browniesmom622]

shes beautiful and a great weight shes not fatt at all
i think you should start letting her watch the tyra banks show i dont know if you know her shes a victoria secret model and a very REAL girl she has real topics like this one and as a model shell even show her rolls on her stomach and takes off her makeup and shows her dark circles and she also has other famous models on the show you should check it out

oh and dont worry

[browniesmom622]

oh and i think girls see these models and think there really like that THERE now its all computer editing the photos and thats why i like the tyra show

[Sarah515]

She definitely does not need to go on a diet, she is a little bitty thing. Talking to her about it will definitely help her to establish a healthy outlook. Society does have a very serious impact on self-esteem, and she is at the age where she will begin to compare herself to other girls more often. Some of the roundness in her face will diminish in a few years, after puberty. I was like her, never fat, but had a softer look and I became more toned naturally at about 15. She is a beautiful girl, so just be patient, sometimes girls at that age will just say that sort of stuff for attention. Good luck, you're gonna be entering a tough time, lol. I know I fought it out with my mom quite a bit in that stage, but remember that conflict is very important in her cognitive and socioemotional development. Just hear her out about why she feels she needs to be on a diet and some deeper things may come to the surface.

[I luv Miko]

It's definelty all the little "movie star" girls they see on TV. My daughter is 10 and she sometimes asks me if she's fat!! Because she sees all the images on TV I always reassure her that she is not! I do remind her that she is growing and her body is going to go through alot of changes. I do also remind her though sometimes, after she has had two and 3 snacks that she has to be careful of what she eats and that she needs to try and concentrate on healthy snacks, I think as long as your there for them, and talk about the issue she will be fine. Here's a picture of my daughter!

[fasteddie]

Your daughter is perfectly healthy and beautiful. And I think it is normal for young girls to think they are overweight even though they may not be.

Since she seems pretty determined, (as in she'd want to lose weight anyways), maybe your help and approval may be beneficial in this situation. Eating healthy (more salads, less meat) and more exercise is the safe way to go as people have already mentioned. If you like to do any sports or outside activities together, do that, be it running, jogging, bicycling. Be active in her life and see what she wants to do, then see as a parent if that's a good idea.

The media plays a big role in shaping the way people and especially teenagers may think. They can often compare themselves with the super skinny, unhealthy celebrities they see in magazines or on TV, people who can set pretty bad examples for today's youth in terms of lifestyle.

You sound like a great role model for her, Lexi's Mommy, so keep it up! She sounds very well-rounded. Give her the support she needs and she'll continue to be the great daughter she is.

[i_love_my_yorki]

Your Daughter is very pretty....its all those blooming teen Mags out there,confusing the pre teens & all the skinny fashion

My Daughter just turned 12 yrs old & said the same thing to me...couldnt believe her,i thought she was joking,none of us are big actually the complete opposite...I am 5 feet 4 inches & weigh 120..pounds if that i have always been very petite..
Alex my daughter is tiny for her age group & weights 80 pounds

[YorkieShadow]

Your daughter is very pretty. Both of mine went thru this stage too.

[orinskye]

she is very pretty... also may i point out that at her age she still hasent grown out of her "baby fat" yet....... my cousin was ... well...... we called her chubby (not to her face.....lol..... i know im mean, but i dont like her anyways) ANYWAYS, she was "chubby" up until she was about 13 and then she started to STRETCH OUT... and now..... WOW..... i feel sorry for her mother because she is starting to fall for bad boys and she is going to hae to beat them off with a stick... anyways, what im trying to say is that as she gets older she will get a more "defined" jawline ect.. that goes with growing up... eating disorders are a very serious thing to deal with: i know from experience, i got so bad that i hardly ever ate (this is when i first started going out with my boyfriend) and i had dropped a significant amount of weight, for the first time guys were noticing me ect... then, i started to become happy with the way i looked and started to eat again and gained it all back , i have always been considered over weight and in my case it does stem from my parents: my father just recently (last week actually) told me in no uncertain terms that i was fat... my mom thought it was perfectly healthy for me not to eat for two days and was happy that i had some "will power", she made me ride my bike home from school every day (we lived ACROSS TOWN... a significant bike ride) ..... It also stems from peer pressure as well like others have said, and the media.... i am a preschool teacher and we are actually forbidden from giving one of our little girls pizza because she thinks that her daughter is fat (and this was said in front of the daughter)... it is sad

[flyorkies]

Originally Posted by Lexi's_Mommy

My daughter is 11 1/2 and she is totally obsessed with her weight. She has very round cheeks and thanks she is fat. Aside from her round face she is very petite.
I am very petite, but I'm not strict with myself. Hell, I can't even make brownies without eating half the pan.(yes I'm serious) I have never brought up weight with either of my girls, I think they are both beautiful, so why all this sudden is she so down on herself. I am a little worried, she told me she wants to go on a diet. I cook healty meals so I don't see any reason for a diet.

Someone PLEASE give me some advice.
Here is a picture of her.

Your daughter is perfect!!!! my daughter is 11 she has talked about a diet too. she is in no way what so ever fat. i think it is her peers, alot of kids are on diets or there parents are on a diet this causes children to go to school and either act like their parents or tell everyone about their own diet. this put pressure on kids that arent on a diet. little girls shouldnt be on a diet unless recomended by a doctor. at this age they are close to development. i think the kids need those mc donalds cheeseburgers and potato chips as long as their not majorly over weight. i explained to my daughter that she will be developing breasts and growing to her adult height over the next couple years. if you diet now its worse for development.kids burn off so much fat and nuetrients at this year of age. and they grow taller and develop boobs.then that lingering little bit of fat will go away . your daughter is not fat and shouldnt be insecure of her body. maybe put her in sports make her know that exercise and eating a good meal is much more important then dieting.i coach little league softball and alot of overweight kids play after a couple weeks they have lost weight and at the same time it had nothing to do with weight just learning how to play the game. we boost there confidence and give them something else to think about rather then weight ,acceptance from peers and the next worst thing boys! good luck with your beautiful little girl!!!!

[Lexi's_Mommy]

Originally Posted by flyorkies

Your daughter is perfect!!!! my daughter is 11 she has talked about a diet too. she is in no way what so ever fat. i think it is her peers, alot of kids are on diets or there parents are on a diet this causes children to go to school and either act like their parents or tell everyone about their own diet. this put pressure on kids that arent on a diet. little girls shouldnt be on a diet unless recomended by a doctor. at this age they are close to development. i think the kids need those mc donalds cheeseburgers and potato chips as long as their not majorly over weight. i explained to my daughter that she will be developing breasts and growing to her adult height over the next couple years. if you diet now its worse for development.kids burn off so much fat and nuetrients at this year of age. and they grow taller and develop boobs.then that lingering little bit of fat will go away . your daughter is not fat and shouldnt be insecure of her body. maybe put her in sports make her know that exercise and eating a good meal is much more important then dieting.i coach little league softball and alot of overweight kids play after a couple weeks they have lost weight and at the same time it had nothing to do with weight just learning how to play the game. we boost there confidence and give them something else to think about rather then weight ,acceptance from peers and the next worst thing boys! good luck with your beautiful little girl!!!!

Thank you for your great advise, she does do Gymnasticts, valley ball, and soccer. She did dance up til this year, and wants to do cheerleading. We don't eat fast food (ever), I don't eat meat and believe in eating healthy. My husband and daughters do eat meat and for them that is fine. We did talk alot over the weekend and and she had this unreal image of thin. I think she understands though, and we will continue to talk. I also think she uses the word diet lightly because her friends throw the word around a lot.

Anyway, thank you all for your help and suport,
Tricia

[Midge5353]

I am 14, almost 15, so I kind of know what she's going through. I'm sure your daughter is comparing herself to women and teens in movies, magazines, tv, etc. maybe even her friends. Teen girls always feel insecure about themselves. My advice for you is to always reassure her that she is NOT fat, because she definitely isn't!! But sometimes, when a teen hears something like that from their mom, they don't exactly believe it all the time. If she is still convinced she wants to go on a diet, tell her to do what I did. I eat all regular foods, I just cut out the "bad" stuff. When she's hungry for a snack, tell her to make it something healthy, like a fruit, vegetable, etc. not the cookies, candy, chips, fast food, etc. I mean one is fine once and awhile, just not ALL the time. LOL Your daughter is no where near fat, but reducing the amount of the unhealthy foods might help her feel more secure with how she looks and make her not want to go on a diet. Ya know? This post might not make sense. Sorry!

[Lexi's_Mommy]

Originally Posted by Midge5353

I am 14, almost 15, so I kind of know what she's going through. I'm sure your daughter is comparing herself to women and teens in movies, magazines, tv, etc. maybe even her friends. Teen girls always feel insecure about themselves. My advice for you is to always reassure her that she is NOT fat, because she definitely isn't!! But sometimes, when a teen hears something like that from their mom, they don't exactly believe it all the time. If she is still convinced she wants to go on a diet, tell her to do what I did. I eat all regular foods, I just cut out the "bad" stuff. When she's hungry for a snack, tell her to make it something healthy, like a fruit, vegetable, etc. not the cookies, candy, chips, fast food, etc. I mean one is fine once and awhile, just not ALL the time. LOL Your daughter is no where near fat, but reducing the amount of the unhealthy foods might help her feel more secure with how she looks and make her not want to go on a diet. Ya know? This post might not make sense. Sorry!

Thank you, you are so sweet.. It makes total sense and you are so right...

Thank you again,
Tricia