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06-22-2010, 01:13 PM | #1 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Brockville, On, Canada
Posts: 246
| Subject: Fw: UNIVERSAL TRUTHS TOTALLY This made me smile today and I thought I would share it. 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 10. Bad decisions make good stories. 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to. 14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever. 15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away? 16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. 17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. (Or wine...or Margaritas!!) 20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. 21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it. 22. I would rather try to carry ten plastic grocery bags in each hand than take two trips to bring my groceries in. 23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text. 24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an ass from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber and dumber every year? 29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far. 30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists. 31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my behind everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! |
Welcome Guest! | |
06-22-2010, 01:34 PM | #2 |
BANNED! Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Illinois
Posts: 4,603
| I once was a guest at a Marine Corps Mess night. They gave me a nice long introduction. When I walked up to the Podium, I thanked the person, and said "If I knew you were going to write my obituary, I would have done you all a favor and Died. |
06-22-2010, 04:51 PM | #3 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Brockville, On, Canada
Posts: 246
| But it's nice to hear all the great things they had to say while you were still alive. |
06-24-2010, 06:51 AM | #4 |
and Khloe Mae's too! Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Eastern Washington
Posts: 14,732
| This is hilarious... Several of these made me laugh out loud!
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06-26-2010, 01:21 PM | #5 |
YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Knoxville,Tennessee
Posts: 3,073
| Love them. sent copy to my mom with several bold faced.
__________________ PAWPRINTS AND DOG HAIR ENHANCE MY PERSONAL STYLE. |
06-26-2010, 04:50 PM | #6 |
Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member | GREAT THREAD ! Some made so much sense and I totally see myself in many of them - that was really funny |
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