Ugh, do kids really have to grow up?

[Mom2TwoYorkies]

I guess now I understand how my parents felt when I grew up and moved on . . .and frankly, it really stinks! My daughter will be turning 21 this year and is planning on moving in with her boyfriend this Summer. . .he has an apartment in a 3 family house about 10 minutes from me . . .she'll still be close, but not here . . .I know I just need to let go, but it's just hard to. She's a hairstylist and has her own money and pays her bills, but I just thought she'd live here at least a few more years or until she got married . . .I guess I'm old fashioned . . .it's just hard to think that half of the upstairs will be empty, although my son who is turning 17 this year states that he'll gladly use his sister's room as his "living room" and is thinking of redoing the bathroom because it's "girly" Anyhow, I want to be happy for her and be supportive, I'm just finding it hard right now . . .

[MeganS]

aww I'm very sorry. My mom/dad (mostly mom) went through a similar thing in August when my brother moved down to Virginia for school. But he ended up coming home. Anyway, I want to send you hugs & prayers. I can't imagine how hard this must be for a mother to go through.

PS - I had to laugh at your son taking everything over. I have a living room outside of my bedroom too. So fun!

[Callie Lou]

I am so feeling your pain.
My daughter is 22. She moved 2 hours from me to attend a college in Tennessee (I live in Kentucky), AND to move in with her boyfriend. She has lived there for 3 years now and yes....you would think I'd be over it by now, but I miss her so, so much. It's like I turned around one day and thought, "Hey, where'd she go?" You know they're growing up, it's inevitable, but I think I treated the whole issue like I do many things that I don't want to face...I ignored it~lol. Told myself that it wasn't happening.
Even though I was so actively involved with so many activities with her when she was growing up...cheerleading, Girl Scouts...etc...I still feel like there wasn't enough time to do everything we wanted to do.
I've been lost since she moved away. I hardly ever get to spend anytime with her, (hence, the reason for getting this adorable little puppy I have and joining Yorkie Talk)

[JeanieK]

It's hard. But once they have been gone and you get used to it, it is hard if they come back. I guess we just don't like change.

You can still be best friends and talk on the phone for hours. You really have more to talk about when you don't see them every day.

[J_is_my_initial]

My dtr is 23 and luckily for me lives right next door. When we bought a new double wide mobile home, we gave her and her hubby the single wide. It was hard when her and boyfriend moved in together, but then she got married and did not need us so much. She is now divorced and needs us more again. She had talked about moving to Michigan with her last boyfriend (we are in TN) but I told her that was out of the question. Not that she would listen if she really wanted to move. It is hard for them to leave home,
I told hubby that is why I have so many dogs, I miss her.

[jeanm1963]

Originally Posted by Mom2TwoYorkies

I guess now I understand how my parents felt when I grew up and moved on . . .and frankly, it really stinks! My daughter will be turning 21 this year and is planning on moving in with her boyfriend this Summer. . .he has an apartment in a 3 family house about 10 minutes from me . . .she'll still be close, but not here . . .I know I just need to let go, but it's just hard to. She's a hairstylist and has her own money and pays her bills, but I just thought she'd live here at least a few more years or until she got married . . .I guess I'm old fashioned . . .it's just hard to think that half of the upstairs will be empty, although my son who is turning 17 this year states that he'll gladly use his sister's room as his "living room" and is thinking of redoing the bathroom because it's "girly" Anyhow, I want to be happy for her and be supportive, I'm just finding it hard right now . . .

Id tell your son to hold off, my daughter tried that , she was home in 3 months... Its a little different when you " live" with someone, I was soo mad at her because I , like you, thought she should stay at home...but my mother kept saying let her go, she'll be home.... I said no she wont.. low and behold she was after just three short months...they were high school sweethearts and were together for 5 years... I was surprised how quickly she came home... I think once you " move in together" you quickly get to know a different side of someone.. I hope for her sake it works out and that they get married!! Although its not what parents want I am very thankful she moved in with him and it only last 3 months as opposed to marraige where that would have been ONE quick wedding.

[Mom2TwoYorkies]

Originally Posted by jeanm1963

Id tell your son to hold off, my daughter tried that , she was home in 3 months... Its a little different when you " live" with someone, I was soo mad at her because I , like you, thought she should stay at home...but my mother kept saying let her go, she'll be home.... I said no she wont.. low and behold she was after just three short months...they were high school sweethearts and were together for 5 years... I was surprised how quickly she came home... I think once you " move in together" you quickly get to know a different side of someone.. I hope for her sake it works out and that they get married!! Although its not what parents want I am very thankful she moved in with him and it only last 3 months as opposed to marraige where that would have been ONE quick wedding.

You are right, it may or may not work out and it is much better to find out if you can be compatible before you take the plunge into marriage. I was telling my husband that last night because I cannot picture her and all her stuff in a small third floor apartment.

[Patti]

I know my dtr is 24 and still at home which is fine by me. I can't imagine not having her around but on the other hand I know she needs to get on with her life. Luckily your dtr will only be 10 minutes away.

[BellaBlue82]

I know what you mean, to an extent. When I was 18 my family and I lived in Orlando, FL (we had just moved from Las Vegas to Orlando as soon as I graduated high school). Needless to say I hated it, I had no car, no friends, no job, no college plans, and I was miserable. That's when I decided to move back to Vegas on my own. I know it broke my mother's heart to go, but I was oblivious. I now look back and wish that I had stayed, because I ended up making some bad decisions (hello, getting married a few months later!) but you live and learn. I just hope that my kids don't make the same mistakes that I did. But if it makes you feel any better, it sounds like your daughter is very mature and has her life pretty together!

[Cha Cha]

Get another dog!! I mean that lightheartedly. My daughter brought home Moka a year before she planned on leaving to go to college. It has been comforting to have Moka here to take my mind off of the emptiness. Now, a few months before my youngest plans to leave home, we got Mylee! Really, I know what you are going through. My youngest one leaving next fall is really going to be tough for me.

[joeys mom]

Ohhh this is a hard one!!!! But if you look at the positives it can make it eaiser. It's time for you to step back and see how smart you are. I was the dumbest mother until my daughter got married at 21. Then suddenly I was the smartest person on earth because she would call and ask me how to do this or that. Or to come over and help her with something. LOL Really it is nice to see if they were ever listening at all and its surprising when the light goes off that- she did hear me and remembered what I said!!!! Jess was my only one and the house is so empty. It was even harder for us due to the fact she had a bad car wreck at 17 and was left a paraplegic. So from 17 to almost 19 she was back with us 24/7. It seems like I keep losing her over and over. But this time it was for the good cause I have a fantastic son-in-law and I get to keep my Granddogger for them quite often as they travel out of state with his job. So sit back relax and have a laugh the first time she call and ask how to do something!!!!And say a little prayer that she ia able to grow into a terrific adult.

[gunnar08]

my son is 22 and moved out the week before Christmas. He is only 7 miles away. He works at Petco which is only 2 miles up the street. He said he'd come over for dinner once a week and wash his clothes etc. I haven't seen him since and only talked to him once. He came over and washed his clothes when we weren't home! arrrggg! He is our only kid and we did everything with him. I miss him so much.... Donna

[Mom2TwoYorkies]

Originally Posted by gunnar08

my son is 22 and moved out the week before Christmas. He is only 7 miles away. He works at Petco which is only 2 miles up the street. He said he'd come over for dinner once a week and wash his clothes etc. I haven't seen him since and only talked to him once. He came over and washed his clothes when we weren't home! arrrggg! He is our only kid and we did everything with him. I miss him so much.... Donna

OMG, that is so sad! I'm sorry . . .

[Mom2TwoYorkies]

Originally Posted by joeys mom

Ohhh this is a hard one!!!! But if you look at the positives it can make it eaiser. It's time for you to step back and see how smart you are. I was the dumbest mother until my daughter got married at 21. Then suddenly I was the smartest person on earth because she would call and ask me how to do this or that. Or to come over and help her with something. LOL Really it is nice to see if they were ever listening at all and its surprising when the light goes off that- she did hear me and remembered what I said!!!! Jess was my only one and the house is so empty. It was even harder for us due to the fact she had a bad car wreck at 17 and was left a paraplegic. So from 17 to almost 19 she was back with us 24/7. It seems like I keep losing her over and over. But this time it was for the good cause I have a fantastic son-in-law and I get to keep my Granddogger for them quite often as they travel out of state with his job. So sit back relax and have a laugh the first time she call and ask how to do something!!!!And say a little prayer that she ia able to grow into a terrific adult.

Thank you. I do try to look at the positives . . .I've always been a very involved parent and she tells me everything and anything (which sometimes isn't/wasn't that great) but I feel we had a closer relationship than I had with my own parents. I just need to be able to let go . . .I keep it in my mind daily, so that way when the day finally comes, I'll have hopefully made peace with it.

Your daughter sounds like a wonderful person!

[Mom2TwoYorkies]

Originally Posted by Cha Cha

Get another dog!! I mean that lightheartedly. My daughter brought home Moka a year before she planned on leaving to go to college. It has been comforting to have Moka here to take my mind off of the emptiness. Now, a few months before my youngest plans to leave home, we got Mylee! Really, I know what you are going through. My youngest one leaving next fall is really going to be tough for me.

LOL!! That is exactly what I told my husband . . .well, maybe if Rhianna ever has puppies, I can keep one or two or all . . . I'll just use that as an excuse to my husband that I needed more "kids" to take care of. . .