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Old 11-12-2009, 08:32 AM   #16
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Ashlee you didn't fail, it was just a missed opportunity. You'll get your opportunity to pay it forward.

When I was just out of college I worked in a resturant until I found a job. I had a regualr customer who pointed me to this company and that company..well I finally got a job. When I told him he was delighted for me. That day he left me a $100 as a tip (this was in 1984 when it meant something)...I ran after him & told him that I couldn't let him leave me such a big tip. He said, " You are going to need some new clothes for your job. He also said, one day you can do something good for someoneelse. Over the years I've done things & I don't know if what I did made a difference until last fall. My dear friend Claudia was diagnosed with breast cancer in the spring of last year...chemo, radiation, rest, test...it spread to her liver. So in November more chemo started. She is single so leave with out pay can change your life. I had my gift shop then & in our crummy economy I was considering closing it, which I did this spring. Anyway, I beleive in following your instincts & knew I had to have a fund raiser for Claudia. We raised, I don't remember the exact number, but it was close to $3K for her. If y'all could have seen her that day you would have cried. She's still very ill & if you have a moment say a prayer for her.

We have bums who stand on street corners with signs asking for money. My husband rarely turns one down. I asked him once why & he said that they needed something, he didn't care what it was, & that once he's given them the money they can do whatever they want with it. I thought that was so kind of him....men aren't usually that benovelant.

Giving with expectations is not really giving...right?

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Old 11-12-2009, 01:04 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luvfla View Post
Ashlee you didn't fail, it was just a missed opportunity. You'll get your opportunity to pay it forward.

When I was just out of college I worked in a resturant until I found a job. I had a regualr customer who pointed me to this company and that company..well I finally got a job. When I told him he was delighted for me. That day he left me a $100 as a tip (this was in 1984 when it meant something)...I ran after him & told him that I couldn't let him leave me such a big tip. He said, " You are going to need some new clothes for your job. He also said, one day you can do something good for someoneelse. Over the years I've done things & I don't know if what I did made a difference until last fall. My dear friend Claudia was diagnosed with breast cancer in the spring of last year...chemo, radiation, rest, test...it spread to her liver. So in November more chemo started. She is single so leave with out pay can change your life. I had my gift shop then & in our crummy economy I was considering closing it, which I did this spring. Anyway, I beleive in following your instincts & knew I had to have a fund raiser for Claudia. We raised, I don't remember the exact number, but it was close to $3K for her. If y'all could have seen her that day you would have cried. She's still very ill & if you have a moment say a prayer for her.

We have bums who stand on street corners with signs asking for money. My husband rarely turns one down. I asked him once why & he said that they needed something, he didn't care what it was, & that once he's given them the money they can do whatever they want with it. I thought that was so kind of him....men aren't usually that benovelant.

Giving with expectations is not really giving...right?
You are right it is not really giving if you expect something. My husband has a hard time giving to others. He works very hard for the money we have and he thinks others should work hard for what they have too. He reminded my yesterday that the money in our bank account didn't just appear there. He worked hard to put it there. He really has a kind heart but in the area we live in there are a lot of people who could help themselves but choose to depend on others instead. I have a family member who is trying to recover from persciption drug addiction and he has a hard time with that. He says he got him self into that mess and he should get himself out. I feel a little like that with him too but can't help but think if we could just help a little maybe he could live a better life. He has a daughter and I feel more that I am helping her. My husband thinks we are feeding the habit by helping though. It is a fine line sometimes. He is willing to help anyone he feels can't do it on there own or really needs it. Its funny, he was raised a lot different then I was. A little harder I think.
Well I missed another chance today. I had to go back to town to make a payment that was due. There was a man holding a cardboard sign standing at the stop light at the store (we don't have many of those in a small town). He was on the oppisite side from me but when I left he was gone. Didn't see his sign but I assume he needed something. I think I like the way luvfla's husband thinks. If they need something and I can help, that is enough.
Maybe 3rd times a charm!
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Old 11-14-2009, 09:07 AM   #18
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Well, third time was a charm. I got a call from my husbands aunt last night asking if I received my invitation to the home and garden party she was hosting today. I hadn't because she sent it to our old address. Anyway she said her and a friend were having the party because the lady that sells the items just lost her husband to cancer. She had a lot of medical bills. When she hadn't been a church for a few weeks they called to see if she wasn't feeling well. She told them she didn't have the money to buy gas to get there. That was my sign! I got up early today and put the money ( now $22, not much but all I have) into an envolope. I gave it to my husbands aunt when I got to the party and told her to give it to the lady. She sliped it into her bag without telling anyone. I think she may have been the one the small amount of money was meant to go to in the first place. Mysterious ways!!!
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Old 11-14-2009, 12:58 PM   #19
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I am a lot like Owned by Fiona's husband. I do not mind helping people who truly try to help themselves. For example I have a hard time with one on my bro in law and his family. None work or even want to. We once pd 2 months on a mortgage payment with money meant for my dtr to go to WA DC. They lost the mobile home. We gave them money so he could get a divorce and marry his live in gf. This was a loan several years ago. Not a little amount. Still have not seen it. Two months ago, they "borrowed" 2 months rent and dh gave it to them out of his personal acct not our household acct. Then a couple weeks later he calls back and asks to borrow more money for a friend. We are not rich and I resent giving him more money. I am more willing to give money to a stranger.
I know I am a terrible person
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Old 11-14-2009, 02:09 PM   #20
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This is one of the best threads I've read on this site. It gives me the warm & fuzzies and gets me into the holiday spirit!!

I try to do what I can to help people. I don't have much money myself (being 16 and not having time in my schedule to work as much as I'd like to, though I do work), and neither do my parents for that matter, but I always try to donate as much as I can. Usually I'll just donate time or labor, if someone needs help moving, etc. and my best friend and I volunteer at the animal shelter.

We had a friend a year ago who was suffering from lung cancer (never smoked a day in her life) and it spread to her brain. She had NO health care and couldn't afford the medications she needed. She was too proud to ask the church for money.

My mom and dad organized a HUGE garage sale and 100% of the benefits went to her. We put a poster out with a picture of her on it with her story, it was amazing how many people just walked up and handed us 20, 50 dollars without buying a thing! We ended up raising quite a bit of money for her. Sadly, she passed away shortly after. But the money was spent on her funeral costs, which we are grateful for because her family would not have been able to have a nice one for her if not for that.


Your post is a great reminder to donate whatever you have - money or time - to those who need it. Everyone needs something in this economy, but if someone is down enough to ask for it, then they need it more.
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Old 11-15-2009, 07:16 PM   #21
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I'm very touched and humbled.
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Old 11-15-2009, 07:38 PM   #22
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Thank you for this thread, it is a gift in its self
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Old 11-15-2009, 09:03 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by Owned by Fiona View Post
I don't know why I called him a Christmas angel. I was thinking of that country song that came out a few years ago. Don't know who sings it or what it is called, I just remember it talking about the people around us being angels in disguise. The lady with dark sunglasses in the hall, the little girl with a disease on tv and it says what if they are angels. Who knows maybe there are angels among us and we are given little test here and there. I didn't do well on this one but maybe I will be a little more aware next time. It would be nice if I could help others recognize there angels. The world might become a little bit better place! Isn't that a nice thought! I remember thinking at first that he must be on drugs or something. That is not the way I want to view the world but I thought it anyway. I hope he did find someone who could or would help.
Honey, the next time you are checking out of Target you could donate the$2,it goes to ST.Judes Hospital for cancer research, they will give you a paper turkey aand you can dedicate it to whomever you wish or annonymus, just an idea.They will hang it.
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