Amazed at the ignorance of others!

[erickajm]

So, I am at work today and I go up to my next table (server) and it is a table of 4 germans...2 of which are here visiting from Germany. I guide them through their decisions and what not. After getting their salads the one lady (visiting) looks at me and asks me if I eat meat. I reply why yes I do. She then says, "well its not good for you."

I run off to refill a drink, bring it back and she says, (pointing at my mid-section)" eating that meat is why your fat." Now, I must say, I was taken back and I explained to her that no, meat isn't what made me fat it was my thyroid's fault. I look at her and say, see.. I used to kind of think like you in that heavier people are that way because of the way they eat. However, some of us can be a size 3/4 one minute and turn around 6 months later and be a solid 14. Its called no metabolism, a failed thyroid....AUGHHHHH!

Soooo... after explaining to her that I don't overeat and such... she asks me what my husband or boyfriend thinks of it. I respond, he finds me sexy! She said "nah" Is he happy? I said, actually, yes he is. He loves me for me not for what I look like. She said (brace yourselves) he would be happier if your weren't as fat...

At this point I am telling myself (plz forgive me all my European friends) that its because shes from Europe and they speak their minds... this is how my FIL is.. he will just say something not thinking about how it makes the person feel.. but then I got to thinking...what the hell...Europeans are no different, we all have feelings.. Why the hell would anyone say this to another human being knowing full well how this could impact them? This weight gain has not been an easy one and I am quite uncomfortable both the way I look and feel. This has been such a struggle for me then to have this woman say that crap to me... it really hurt my feelings.

All I can say is she is sooooooooo lucky I am not one of those people that do things to your food! Or that I wasn't in one of those fighting moods.. I could have bitch slapped her!

[cashsmommy]

ow my good for you for not reacting. it sounds like she wanted you to!

people are sooo mean sometimes, i cant say i wouldnt hve done somthing to her food....

[spr377]

What a selfish, ignorant woman! She did that to make herself feel better (about her own self), at your expense! People that speak to others like that, are completely inexcusable.....she isn't even worth wasting another thought on.

[MindieRose]

I cannot believe you handled that as well as you did! I probably would have ended up fired! The nerve of that woman. Honestly, who calls a complete stranger, or anyone for that matter, fat? Then goes on to pry into their personal lives??
One thing I don't understand though, is that once you are diagnosed with a thyroid problem, and you are on meds, doesn't the weight come back off? I was diagnosed hypothyroid, Hoshimotos, 11 years ago. I had gained 15 lbs in a month, and had terrible leg cramps, couldnt get out of bed, my hair was falling out, I was gaining weight even though I couldn't eat anything, etc. My TSH was off the charts. My doctor couldnt believe I was walking around. They started me on thyroid meds, and the weight came back off, and as long as my tsh is regulated, I have been fine, until recently I have had 10-15 lbs that I would like to lose (before I got pregnant, lol). I have heard many people say they are overweight because of their thyroid, and I didn't know if it is fairly common to not be able to lose the weight even after your metabolism is regulated with the replacement hormone?

[erickajm]

Originally Posted by MindieRose

I cannot believe you handled that as well as you did! I probably would have ended up fired! The nerve of that woman. Honestly, who calls a complete stranger, or anyone for that matter, fat? Then goes on to pry into their personal lives??
One thing I don't understand though, is that once you are diagnosed with a thyroid problem, and you are on meds, doesn't the weight come back off? I was diagnosed hypothyroid, Hoshimotos, 11 years ago. I had gained 15 lbs in a month, and had terrible leg cramps, couldnt get out of bed, my hair was falling out, I was gaining weight even though I couldn't eat anything, etc. My TSH was off the charts. My doctor couldnt believe I was walking around. They started me on thyroid meds, and the weight came back off, and as long as my tsh is regulated, I have been fine, until recently I have had 10-15 lbs that I would like to lose (before I got pregnant, lol). I have heard many people say they are overweight because of their thyroid, and I didn't know if it is fairly common to not be able to lose the weight even after your metabolism is regulated with the replacement hormone?

I initially had gained 18lbs in 16 days and when I mentioned it to my dr.. she just looked at me until I said, Hello? If I had lost that much weight it would throw a red flag! That was in Aug. I went on and had the uptake test, ultrasound and by february I had gained 52lbs and went from a size 3/4 to a solid 14 I finally took it upon myself to make an appointment with an Endocrinologist. At the time I was on soooo many different meds ( another story in itself) I was put on synthroid and slowly I got back down to a size 8. I decided amongst myself that my dr. (not endo) was slowly killing me with all these meds and decided to go off everything and have now found myself right up to a 16... my last TSH levels were 2.57 so I am in my new endo's eyes normal... I am now going to see another doctor who actually treats you on more than the numbers. I retain major water now and have fibromyalgia along with the arthritis that I already had. So... now I am looking for a new dr. that will prescribe the armour or something similar... needless to say, I am pretty frustrated with the whole thing!

[erickajm]

Originally Posted by MindieRose

I cannot believe you handled that as well as you did! I probably would have ended up fired! The nerve of that woman. Honestly, who calls a complete stranger, or anyone for that matter, fat? Then goes on to pry into their personal lives??
One thing I don't understand though, is that once you are diagnosed with a thyroid problem, and you are on meds, doesn't the weight come back off? I was diagnosed hypothyroid, Hoshimotos, 11 years ago. I had gained 15 lbs in a month, and had terrible leg cramps, couldnt get out of bed, my hair was falling out, I was gaining weight even though I couldn't eat anything, etc. My TSH was off the charts. My doctor couldnt believe I was walking around. They started me on thyroid meds, and the weight came back off, and as long as my tsh is regulated, I have been fine, until recently I have had 10-15 lbs that I would like to lose (before I got pregnant, lol). I have heard many people say they are overweight because of their thyroid, and I didn't know if it is fairly common to not be able to lose the weight even after your metabolism is regulated with the replacement hormone?

I was actually pretty surprised with myself because I can be quite the hot head.. guess I was still groggy from my cold...lucky lady!

[MindieRose]

Originally Posted by erickajm

I initially had gained 18lbs in 16 days and when I mentioned it to my dr.. she just looked at me until I said, Hello? If I had lost that much weight it would throw a red flag! That was in Aug. I went on and had the uptake test, ultrasound and by february I had gained 52lbs and went from a size 3/4 to a solid 14 I finally took it upon myself to make an appointment with an Endocrinologist. At the time I was on soooo many different meds ( another story in itself) I was put on synthroid and slowly I got back down to a size 8. I decided amongst myself that my dr. (not endo) was slowly killing me with all these meds and decided to go off everything and have now found myself right up to a 16... my last TSH levels were 2.57 so I am in my new endo's eyes normal... I am now going to see another doctor who actually treats you on more than the numbers. I retain major water now and have fibromyalgia along with the arthritis that I already had. So... now I am looking for a new dr. that will prescribe the armour or something similar... needless to say, I am pretty frustrated with the whole thing!

Ugh, you've been through the ringer for sure! I am on Armour now, and I like it better than synthroid. I was still dealing with some symptoms while on it, and did the research and told them to switch me. Thankfully I have a doc that listens to me. I have fibromyalgia as well as lupus, but I have not had a lot of issues (thankfully!) with the lupus. You keep on pressing for a doctor that listens and will work with you. It's no fun to go through life suffering with thyroid symptoms. I swore I was dying. I thought the doctor was going to call me and tell me I had a week to live. I know how bad that feeling is. My son was only 4 months old too, so I just felt like I was dying and leaving my only child and husband behind. Getting the diagnoses was a giant relief, but I suffered from a lot of anxiety for a long time after that. I feel your frustration, and I hope you find relief soon!

[erickajm]

Originally Posted by MindieRose

Ugh, you've been through the ringer for sure! I am on Armour now, and I like it better than synthroid. I was still dealing with some symptoms while on it, and did the research and told them to switch me. Thankfully I have a doc that listens to me. I have fibromyalgia as well as lupus, but I have not had a lot of issues (thankfully!) with the lupus. You keep on pressing for a doctor that listens and will work with you. It's no fun to go through life suffering with thyroid symptoms. I swore I was dying. I thought the doctor was going to call me and tell me I had a week to live. I know how bad that feeling is. My son was only 4 months old too, so I just felt like I was dying and leaving my only child and husband behind. Getting the diagnoses was a giant relief, but I suffered from a lot of anxiety for a long time after that. I feel your frustration, and I hope you find relief soon!

Thank you! Its always nice to have the confirmation of my pain. Its hard for my husband and boys to understand why I am tired or I hurt when I haven't done anything. I guess its easier to "believe" a person is sick if they look the part.

I secretly blame my doctor for my thyroid going haywire. I really think it was the meds they had me on that triggered it.. but of course what is done is done..."one". My next step is to take the drive down to John Hopkins... I am positive they would love to poke and prod me!

[QuickSilver]

.......




......




Yeah, that's pretty horrible. I would be crushed, quite honestly, AND I would have done something horrible to her food. And maybe followed her out of the restaurant and kicked her in the shin.

I do agree (generally) that culturally, it's much more acceptable to be, shall we say, frank in European cultures. And I know many countries like to harp on how fat the American populace is, so maybe she... I don't know. I don't know what would possess someone to say that.

I'm sorry you are having such trouble with your thyroid, not that it would ever be okay for people to speak that way to you, no matter what your weight or what the reason for it.

If you ever see her again, pull out the old standby "well, you're ugly and I can lose weight."

[erickajm]

Originally Posted by QuickSilver

.......




......




Yeah, that's pretty horrible. I would be crushed, quite honestly, AND I would have done something horrible to her food. And maybe followed her out of the restaurant and kicked her in the shin.

I do agree (generally) that culturally, it's much more acceptable to be, shall we say, frank in European cultures. And I know many countries like to harp on how fat the American populace is, so maybe she... I don't know. I don't know what would possess someone to say that.

I'm sorry you are having such trouble with your thyroid, not that it would ever be okay for people to speak that way to you, no matter what your weight or what the reason for it.

If you ever see her again, pull out the old standby "well, you're ugly and I can lose weight."

I was crushed. I did play it off like it didn't bother me. And I must say the one guy who was with them was mortified and kept looking at me (in my eyes) I think to see if I was "okay". I should have used that old standby. Unfortunately for her, I really don't think she was out to be mean.. but Hello? I don't know you for you to be talking to me that way. People just never cease to amaze me. I just hope and pray my children grow up to never ever be like that regardless if it was intentional or not!

[Nancy1999]

Rudeness abounds, and it's not related to one country, but telling someone that they need to eat differently, while they are only there to offer service, it beyond rudeness. I think a good thing to learn is how not to engage these people. As you have learned, nothing you say matters to them anyway, they will attempt to get more and more personal, and will always seem to have won the conversation, at least to the small minded. Since working with the public is part of your job, you can still get your point across and be extremely polite. You can agree with her, and thank her for her health concerns, but don't answer any questions. Each question can be meant with a question such as, "Why on earth would you want to know such a thing?" Or even better, "Are you 'ladies' ready to order, or do you need a few more minutes." Sorry you had to go through this.

[Bianca]

I think life is to short to care or even think about what people think

[FlDebra]

Wow -- you showed amazing self-control not to go off on such a rude person. I have no idea why someone felt they could talk to you that way. You are right -- country of origin is no reason for that bizarre lack of manners. I think she was trying purposefully to hurt you. Why, I have no idea. Maybe she is a sadist or maybe she has been hurt so much she thinks it is normal. She must be a very unhappy person. I am so sorry you had to endure treatment like that. Unbelievable! That is the sort of person that probably also pulls the wings off tiny flies and thinks it sporting.

I know all too well the toll a bad thyroid can take. Mine has been removed now and I still have problems trying to get meds right. I can gain 10 pounds in 2 weeks when my numbers are off. Then they adjust my meds and I manage to take 2-3 months to get it back off. Two more months and the cycle repeats. I have never lost all the weight I gained waiting to get a proper dx. Thyroid issues are the pits. What is worse, female hormone fluctuations will make the situation worse as they bind thyroid hormone and make it less useful in the body. It can be a very complicated balancing act!

[erickajm]

Thank you all for your support ~ it does make it better! My DH was very upset but didn't hesitate to remind me how much he does find me attractive! I knew I kept him for a reason! He is my rock!

[FlDebra]

Originally Posted by erickajm

I initially had gained 18lbs in 16 days and when I mentioned it to my dr.. she just looked at me until I said, Hello? If I had lost that much weight it would throw a red flag! That was in Aug. I went on and had the uptake test, ultrasound and by february I had gained 52lbs and went from a size 3/4 to a solid 14 I finally took it upon myself to make an appointment with an Endocrinologist. At the time I was on soooo many different meds ( another story in itself) I was put on synthroid and slowly I got back down to a size 8. I decided amongst myself that my dr. (not endo) was slowly killing me with all these meds and decided to go off everything and have now found myself right up to a 16... my last TSH levels were 2.57 so I am in my new endo's eyes normal... I am now going to see another doctor who actually treats you on more than the numbers. I retain major water now and have fibromyalgia along with the arthritis that I already had. So... now I am looking for a new dr. that will prescribe the armour or something similar... needless to say, I am pretty frustrated with the whole thing!

Definately try Armour Thyroid -- I did not do well at all on Synthroid. What many do not realize is that the same meds do not work for everyone. As the one poster mentioned, many get on meds, have their numbers balance and feel fine the rest of their life. Others play a seesaw act going hyper to hypo and back again, never really finding that perfect point where they can feel well and have their numbers look right for the docs. Some have trouble converting the T4 hormone to the useable T3. Synthroid is synthetic T4 only. That is when adding Cytomel (synthetic T3) or switching to Armour (natural T4 + T3) works better for them. I have a conversion problem and Synthroid alone seemed like it was killing me (over exaggeration but that is what it felt like). You can also have a binding problem. Estrogen binds thyroid hormone. It is only usable when it is Free or unbound. You probably have heard of the Free T4 and Free T3 tests.

I also had the fibromyalgia dx, but it is really all thyroid. The more hypo, the more I hurt and the more fatigue keeps me from living life. Endos do not usually like Armour Thyroid. They like the synthetic hormones that seem to do a better job at stabilizing numbers. But I found a doc who was willing to prescribe it and it made a lot of difference for me. I had to do all my own research as my doc willingly admitted not knowing much about thyroids. He did send me to an endocrinologist who said my thyroid gland had to come out. At least that stopped the drastic up and down swings I was having as my sputtering gland tried to occasionally produce. I should not get started on this subject. I have researched so much and know more than I ever thought I would want to know about the thyroid gland and the endocrine system. LOL! It is one of my passions. I even led a thyroid support group for the Florida area for a while, years ago. It was rewarding arming people with information they could take to their docs to check out.