Ever wonder if anyone is on your side!! I can't believe this is happening...

[Jilliebeanz96]

Ever wonder if anyone is on your side!!! I was so upset last night... my little girl who can't be more than 50lbs with a winter coat on... 9 years old has this kid in her class... that is seems must like her I think that is 11years old... (kept back in school) and he is hurting her... and because I taught her to be nice to others that are less forunate she is taking it from him....

I thought at least calling the school going up there would be a good idea and that school would help... But NO.. I call and the blow me off...

So I wrote this letter:

To whom it may concern,

I just called to inform the principal and/or my daughter's teacher Mrs. Pender that I will be coming up to the school today around 12:00pm to speak with them about an issue that is going on in the classroom as well as in the school yard. My daughter Madison has come home the last few days with bruises on her arms and it concerned me. She has explained to me that another child in her class is trying to hug her during recess and when she tells him to stop he pinches her. And on random occasions pinches her and her friends as play.

This concerns me as there were other things Madison has told me also, such as stories and jokes this child is telling the other children. Madison has expressed to my husband and I that she didn't want to tell anyone because she was afraid he would get mad and also because she feels bad for him as other kids pick on him often.

There is seriously something wrong going on if what Madison tells me is true, such as this child coming to school in the same clothes each day, often dirty and having a smell to him, wearing girl clothes and nail products, etc. Madison has said this is why she wanted to be nice to him and try and be his friend as other children keep their distance. I have explained to Madison that being someones friend does not mean that we let them put their hands on our bodies or hurt us in any way.

Before anything worse happens, either to my child or this other child who has been hurting her I believe this issue needs to be addressed.

I was told that it wont be a guarantee that the principal will be available when I arrive as he might be in a meeting. It is 8:30am I won't be there until 12:00pm maybe some time within the next 3 plus hours it can be arranged to spare time as the safety of the school children should be important enough.

And then I put my contact info...

I copied the message to myself, my husband and my mother who works for a law firm so that maybe the school would see the law firm name on the email and it might put fire under their butts to be concerned too that I will take it a step further.

The worst is I have heard so many stories about this child that are negative... family life, things he talks about, Death, the Devil, GirlFriends..etc. it worries me for him as well.. and why the hell hasn't the school called Social Services yet..!!!

Grrrrrrrr!! I can't believe this. I am not good at being angry I mostly just get sad and this is so hard for me right now... but I know that I am my childs advocate and in some way need to speak up for this other child as well as no one seems to notice there are issues.

[tr_farmer]

Maybe you can put an anonymous call into CFS. Tell them what your daughter has told you about this child's clothing, smell, actions, and see if it warrants them to check it out. I know that the school should be more concerned about it, but sometimes they too turn their shoulders. They think it is more trouble than what they want. Good for you standing up for your daughter and this other child.

[Jilliebeanz96]

My husband was so mad at me about being worried for this other kid too... I think it was his anger talking but he couldn't believe and somewhat still can't that I want someone to help this boy as well... after he hurt my little girl. But I know its the parents fault (if there are parents... you never know and that is the scary part)...

Originally Posted by tr_farmer

Maybe you can put an anonymous call into CFS. Tell them what your daughter has told you about this child's clothing, smell, actions, and see if it warrants them to check it out. I know that the school should be more concerned about it, but sometimes they too turn their shoulders. They think it is more trouble than what they want. Good for you standing up for your daughter and this other child.

[Patti]

That is sad and scary. You are ebsolutely right to be concerned. I would go to the school superintendant or higher until someone listens for your dtr's sake and all the other kids and even the 11 year old. Yor dtr sounds like a very caring and mature child. Keep us posted.

[JCarlson2004]

Originally Posted by Patti

That is sad and scary. You are ebsolutely right to be concerned. I would go to the school superintendant or higher until someone listens for your dtr's sake and all the other kids and even the 11 year old. Yor dtr sounds like a very caring and mature child. Keep us posted.

I agree.

Your daughter sounds like a very special and caring young lady.

[amandawash]

My best friend's second grader has been dealing with a bully all year. She finally arranged for a meeting with the principal, teacher and herself. She threatened legal action if the school did not step in. The bully kid actually has his own lady that follows him around because he's such a problem, but the lady wasn't stopping him from pushing and hitting. She said she hated threatening that, but felt it was the only way the school would take it seriously, and they did.

I feel so bad for sweet Madison!! What a SWEETHEART to be so kind.

[browniesmom622]

Wow I hope the meeting goes well Let us know what happens!

[Sookie]

I am sorry your little girl is going through this. I too feel for the little boy and I'm glad you are concerned for his well-being as well as that of your child. Please let us know what happens at the meeting. I think you wrote a very good letter.

[Darlin Beauxs]

No advice to offer...just sympathy.

I guarantee you would get a phone call and/or office time if your daughter fought back and pinched/kicked the kid. We were raised to always "fight back", but it seems like the "fight finishers" are always the ones who get in trouble, when it should be the other way around. Adults should stop the bullying when they see it, or punish the aggressor.

[Stella's mom]

First, I think you wrote a very good letter explaining your concerns and I applaud you for taking a stand. It's so easy for people to look past these issues until a troubled child is physically/emotionally harmed and they harm others in return. I am aware schools are underfunded/understaffed but it appears their attitude is a little lax on the situation. You HAVE to be your childs advocate.

[chloeandj]

I have had to deal with lots of bullies doing worse things to my two boys. I can't believe some of the things kids say, do and know even at 6-7 years old. I am often appauled at the things my kids have learned at school from their friends!

However, when a child has done anything physically to my son, a swift email or phone call to the teacher has resolved the issue every time. Who have you talked to previously about it? If he's been held back and has issues, i'm sure the teachers in his life know quite a bit about him. Have you spoken to the teacher yet?

[tjdmom]

Wow! I hope the school is able to step in here and correct the situation! I feel sad for all involved! Something is not right but you need to do whatever it takes to protect your daughter!

[Jilliebeanz96]

Yesterday was such a challenge on my heart strings!!

This little boy really needs some saving, and the school is aware and although they couldn’t tell me details what they did try to say made it clear that they are at ties with what they can do with what they have. They asked me to write up a statement and even went so far as asking me any details I may know off hand of the family and his situation because we live in the same community. I got the impression that they have tried to help him as well but could only take it so far.

He was very apologetic, cried and asked if he would go to jail. He explained literally while crying and practically pleading to my daughter and I in the principals off not to be mad at him and to still be his best friend. You could tell he isn’t loved or at least doesn’t know that he is.

The teacher explained that not only in the class but the school in general (the other kids) don’t accept him and he has had many challenges through out the year so far with being bullied and picked on for his clothes etc. But that my Madison has been his little protector. She laughed a little about it because Madison is a peanut but it seems she sticks up for him… telling other kids not to make fun and even sits with him sometimes instead of her friends so he is not alone.

I think as a mother I can understand that kids will be kids and they fool around, it seems he must like her… and more as a protector, a friend, or even a sibling and I believe him when he says he didn’t mean to hurt her ever and never would because when he was shown the bruises on Madies arms he was hurt for her.

It’s so sad. Madison explained that she would tell him to stop when he would pinch her but never in a way that he would understand that he was hurting… she explained she didn’t want to scare him off so that he thought she didn’t want to be his friend anymore because it would make him sad…

Kids are so funny, I am so glad I can talk to her because I saw that little boy yesterday and I know that no one will explain things to him the way I explain things to my child.

[amandawash]

Oh, that post broke my heart. That poor, poor little boy. You have a sweet, kind and angelic daughter. You should be proud that you raised a child like that!

[Sookie]

At least I think both you and your little girl must feel a little better now after this. She sounds like a little sweetheart.