Am I being overly sensitive? - YorkieTalk.com Forums

Ashley V · 11-08-2008, 02:05 PM

I'm upset. Hubby promised me to go grocery shopping and to go shopping to get us stuff for our new place together. Well last night he invited a friend to come over and they ended up drinking too much, so his friend slept on our couch. It is now 5 PM and his friend IS STILL HERE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES. He's been here since 9 PM last night!!! He has been here for 20 hours total!!! Then to top it off, hubby promised my cousin to go to see Saw V with him tonight and he'll be leaving around 9:30 for that. I'm irritated.. am I being overly sensitive?

ashleere · 11-08-2008, 02:18 PM

No. Hubby and his friend are. Stand up for yourself girl...

Mom to Hot Rod · 11-08-2008, 02:19 PM

No, I don't think you are being overly sensitive. Now, having said that, a man does not think of going to the supermarket or shopping in general as any big thing. To them (my opinion) it can happen at any time so it doesn't dawn on them what it means to you. I can count on one hand how many times hubby and I have been in a mall in 20 years! The grocery store is a very close second.

I would definitely talk with him and let him know that it was important to you or that it really would be nice to spend some time with each other doing together things. Does that make sense? Good luck.

chachi · 11-08-2008, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mom to Hot Rod

No, I don't think you are being overly sensitive. Now, having said that, a man does not think of going to the supermarket or shopping in general as any big thing. To them (my opinion) it can happen at any time so it doesn't dawn on them what it means to you. I can count on one hand how many times hubby and I have been in a mall in 20 years! The grocery store is a very close second.

I would definitely talk with him and let him know that it was important to you or that it really would be nice to spend some time with each other doing together things. Does that make sense? Good luck.

So true I have to bribe my Husband to get him in a mall and thats about once a year.

MyLadies · 11-08-2008, 02:44 PM

No way! You're not being overly sensitive. His friend needs to go.

A promise is a promise and he needs to keep it!
I'm different about the shopping ,I don't like it when my husband wants to go shopping with me. We fight, complain, he doesn't understand how I shop. He snickers at me behind my back for no reason ... lets see, He buys everything he sees, I think about things. And the kicker is HE WANTS to go with with me.. so I go when he's not here, then I can go by myself. hehehe.

amandawash · 11-08-2008, 03:17 PM

Didn't a similar thing happen with you guys not too long ago?

Man, I would be pissed, but that's just me

I have a hot-blooded Italian temper so that sure wouldn't fly with me!!

I know you guys are pretty young, so don't worry, things will get better. He is just being an insensitive, immature kid right now! Can you take him aside and talk things over?

Good luck!

greyacresmom · 11-08-2008, 03:43 PM

Sorry, but how old is he? It remindes me of my first husbands. They just don't get it until about 40, if your lucky. That is why I married older this time. Couldn't be happier. You need to train...Good luck with that.

Mom to Hot Rod · 11-08-2008, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chachi

So true I have to bribe my Husband to get him in a mall and thats about once a year.

Haha, at least you get him to go once a year! I can't even remember the last time we went together. I truly believe it was at least 4 years ago...the only reason I know is because we moved 3 years ago. Pretty sad. lol.

Darlin Beauxs · 11-08-2008, 05:44 PM

It's just a man thing. We had something similar today. The plans were to go price ceramic tile at Lowe's (I'm pulling up the hardwood in the kitchen and replacing it---so much better for the dogs AND me!), go by the post office (I had bows shipping to Canada), pick up Darcy's heart meds at the vet's, and grab some quick lunch.

After the post office and the vet's I asked him to run me in to Michael's, I couldn't BELIEVE he did it

.

Then on the way home he said that the whole day had been running me around to do MY errands

Hello. I reminded him he was talking to his WIFE, the same woman who sat thru 2 doctors appts for him, holding his hand while the podiatrist drilled on his foot this week

His attitude changed then!

Marriage is just give and take--men sometimes are better at taking!

Ashley V · 11-08-2008, 05:44 PM

He's 23. His friend left like 30 minutes after I posted this... even my cousin thought him staying this long was overkill and he's the same age!

Erin · 11-08-2008, 05:45 PM

Just make sure you run out of some of his favorite things. He'll want to go grocery shopping right away!

Bottled water and cases of pop are really heavy so I make my husband help me when I go to buy those things. It's just not on his radar until we are OUT and then he will ask when we are going grocery shopping

Most men just don't plan ahead on that stuff. I do the other shopping on my own time because it's just not a priority for him. If I waited until he had time to grocery shop we'd always be out of milk!

He is being rude BTW, I'm just trying to be positive!!!

Darlin Beauxs · 11-08-2008, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erin

Just make sure you run out of some of his favorite things. He'll want to go grocery shopping right away!

Bottled water and cases of pop are really heavy so I make my husband help me when I go to buy those things. It's just not on his radar until we are OUT and then he will ask when we are going grocery shopping

Most men just don't plan ahead on that stuff. I do the other shopping on my own time because it's just not a priority for him. If I waited until he had time to grocery shop we'd always be out of milk!

He is being rude BTW, I'm just trying to be positive!!!

We can have a house FULL of groceries, but if there is no Diet Coke, we don't have ANYTHING here. Erin, I know I told you I am from Iowa--funny to hear/read someone referring to it as "pop" LOL

MissSophie · 11-08-2008, 05:50 PM

I really, really don't mean to be rude, but he sounds very immature. That being said, I lived with an immature husband for way too many years. Now he is an immature 57 y/o husband to someone else who is complaining about him! That kind of behavior from him and his friends is not what makes a good marriage. Sorry but he needs to grow up.

Darlin Beauxs · 11-08-2008, 05:55 PM

In his defense, he is that age where friendships are so important. He probably lacks the skills to say "Dude, I have plans with my wife" or something like that. Maybe it will come with age.

When I was your age, I was living with my now-husband. When he promised me something and didn't do it (like making sure the kitchen was clean so I could cook when I got home)...I wouldn't gripe...I would just turn around and go eat at sonic or something, go browse at a store, and come home MUCH later. That was before cell phones, so he couldn't call me and see where I was!

I know that is kind of passive aggressive, but it worked so much better than the fussing.

Just a little tip!

Erin · 11-08-2008, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darlin Beauxs

We can have a house FULL of groceries, but if there is no Diet Coke, we don't have ANYTHING here. Erin, I know I told you I am from Iowa--funny to hear/read someone referring to it as "pop" LOL

Haha! Yeah we call it pop or soda. We are moving to WI soon, I wonder what they call it there? Apparently in Milwaukee they call a water fountain a "bubbler"???

My husband's thing is chicken. Because we "always have chicken" so he complains and we end up going out to eat and what does he order??? CHICKEN! HA! I just make fun of him. It's so not worth fighting over.

11-08-2008, 02:05 PM	#1
Ashley V ♥ Chip ♥ Smokey ♥ Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Leesburg Posts: 3,835	Am I being overly sensitive? I'm upset. Hubby promised me to go grocery shopping and to go shopping to get us stuff for our new place together. Well last night he invited a friend to come over and they ended up drinking too much, so his friend slept on our couch. It is now 5 PM and his friend IS STILL HERE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES. He's been here since 9 PM last night!!! He has been here for 20 hours total!!! Then to top it off, hubby promised my cousin to go to see Saw V with him tonight and he'll be leaving around 9:30 for that. I'm irritated.. am I being overly sensitive? __________________ ~~ Chip ~~ Smokey ~*~ My heart is wrapped around their little paws Karley Marissa born 1/20/12 weighing 8 lbs 11 oz and 21.5 inches long

11-08-2008, 02:18 PM	#2
ashleere YT Addict Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Bay Area,CA Posts: 289	No. Hubby and his friend are. Stand up for yourself girl... __________________ Buttons and Oliver

11-08-2008, 02:19 PM	#3
Mom to Hot Rod Donating YT 5000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: MD Posts: 10,908	No, I don't think you are being overly sensitive. Now, having said that, a man does not think of going to the supermarket or shopping in general as any big thing. To them (my opinion) it can happen at any time so it doesn't dawn on them what it means to you. I can count on one hand how many times hubby and I have been in a mall in 20 years! The grocery store is a very close second. I would definitely talk with him and let him know that it was important to you or that it really would be nice to spend some time with each other doing together things. Does that make sense? Good luck. __________________ www.kissecollar.com Soft Cone Collars for Post-surgery and much more! 10% (non-food) - Discount code YT10

11-08-2008, 03:17 PM	#6
amandawash Lovin' my R & R Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Middleton, Idaho Posts: 2,152	Didn't a similar thing happen with you guys not too long ago? Man, I would be pissed, but that's just me I have a hot-blooded Italian temper so that sure wouldn't fly with me!! I know you guys are pretty young, so don't worry, things will get better. He is just being an insensitive, immature kid right now! Can you take him aside and talk things over? Good luck! __________________ Amanda 's Ranger & Ryder

11-08-2008, 03:43 PM	#7
greyacresmom YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: AZ Posts: 372	Sorry, but how old is he? It remindes me of my first husbands. They just don't get it until about 40, if your lucky. That is why I married older this time. Couldn't be happier. You need to train...Good luck with that. __________________ Sheila and CO 6 Retired Racing Greyhounds: Max the Yorkie: Precious the JRT

11-08-2008, 02:44 PM	#5
MyLadies No Longer a Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Washington State Posts: 1,218	No way! You're not being overly sensitive. His friend needs to go. A promise is a promise and he needs to keep it! I'm different about the shopping ,I don't like it when my husband wants to go shopping with me. We fight, complain, he doesn't understand how I shop. He snickers at me behind my back for no reason ... lets see, He buys everything he sees, I think about things. And the kicker is HE WANTS to go with with me.. so I go when he's not here, then I can go by myself. hehehe.

11-08-2008, 05:44 PM	#9
Darlin Beauxs Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Monroe, La, Us Posts: 1,326 Blog Entries: 1	It's just a man thing. We had something similar today. The plans were to go price ceramic tile at Lowe's (I'm pulling up the hardwood in the kitchen and replacing it---so much better for the dogs AND me!), go by the post office (I had bows shipping to Canada), pick up Darcy's heart meds at the vet's, and grab some quick lunch. After the post office and the vet's I asked him to run me in to Michael's, I couldn't BELIEVE he did it . Then on the way home he said that the whole day had been running me around to do MY errands Hello. I reminded him he was talking to his WIFE, the same woman who sat thru 2 doctors appts for him, holding his hand while the podiatrist drilled on his foot this week His attitude changed then! Marriage is just give and take--men sometimes are better at taking!

11-08-2008, 05:45 PM	#11
Erin Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Chicago Suburbs Posts: 3,306	Just make sure you run out of some of his favorite things. He'll want to go grocery shopping right away! Bottled water and cases of pop are really heavy so I make my husband help me when I go to buy those things. It's just not on his radar until we are OUT and then he will ask when we are going grocery shopping Most men just don't plan ahead on that stuff. I do the other shopping on my own time because it's just not a priority for him. If I waited until he had time to grocery shop we'd always be out of milk! He is being rude BTW, I'm just trying to be positive!!! __________________ Erin, Sammy & Loki Sewing patterns and tutorials @ www.dogundermydesk.com

11-08-2008, 05:50 PM	#13
MissSophie YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Lincoln, Nebraska Posts: 807 Blog Entries: 1	I really, really don't mean to be rude, but he sounds very immature. That being said, I lived with an immature husband for way too many years. Now he is an immature 57 y/o husband to someone else who is complaining about him! That kind of behavior from him and his friends is not what makes a good marriage. Sorry but he needs to grow up. __________________ Sophie's Mom :

11-08-2008, 05:55 PM	#14
Darlin Beauxs Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Monroe, La, Us Posts: 1,326 Blog Entries: 1	In his defense, he is that age where friendships are so important. He probably lacks the skills to say "Dude, I have plans with my wife" or something like that. Maybe it will come with age. When I was your age, I was living with my now-husband. When he promised me something and didn't do it (like making sure the kitchen was clean so I could cook when I got home)...I wouldn't gripe...I would just turn around and go eat at sonic or something, go browse at a store, and come home MUCH later. That was before cell phones, so he couldn't call me and see where I was! I know that is kind of passive aggressive, but it worked so much better than the fussing. Just a little tip!