Help wanted ad for a nanny - YorkieTalk.com Forums

jadecomputergal · 08-31-2008, 10:01 AM

As unbelievable as this sounds, it's a real ad for a nanny. The ad was so bizarre that the media picked up on it and did several news stories. The couple did eventually find a nanny. No word yet whether she's bailed out or is still sticking with it, but it's really too soon to say. The ad was posted only a short while ago, on August 19th.

Live in Nanny Needed for 4 kids (Pls don't call

them "Precious Ones") (Upper East Side)

My kids are a pain in the ass. Just in the past hour, i have had to tell each one to do something more

than once. oldest: can i have soda? it's just a sprite? please? can i? no, no and no.

the next one...don't even get me started. seriously.

the twin six year olds: one wanted dessert before her dinner was over, one kept wanting to know why

I wouldn't let nine year olds swing her around by her limbs. (the fear of a dislocated shoulder did

nothing.)

Please help me.

I can be a tad difficult to work for. I'm loud, pushy and while I used to think we paid well, i am no

longer sure. i work from home, so you get the pleasure of being hounded by me all day long. and, you

get to pretend to like me, because i am deeply sensative. (but well dressed and a know it all, a winning

combination I assure you.)

If you cannot multi task, or communicate without being passive aggressive, don't even bother

replying.

If you are the type who doesn't notice crumbs on the table, skip to the next post, because crumbs are a

deal breaker. they put me over the edge.

i have all sorts of theories on how to stack my dishwasher, and if you are judgemental about ritalin for

adhd, or think such things are caused by too much sugar, again, deal break city.

You do get a separate entrance excellent studio on the ues. you do get air conditioner and internet

connection and cable. even hbo. and showtime. you can bring your spouse, roommate or partner, but

sorry no kids. If you ask, can i bring my kid, the answer will be...anyone? anyone? No.

If you can cook, all the better. otherwise, i'll teach you all sorts of things about pasta. (Here's a freebie,

butter and parmesean, mmmmmm)

If you know anything about chess and violin i will be impressed.

We are not snobs, which is good. but then again, my kid sometimes swears to make a point. (We're

working on it, but halfheartedly, because, well the apple doesn't fall far from the ****ing

tree.)Although I am told they are all very bright, they have not mastered the use of the oh so

complicated napkin. This is a napkin Junior, say it after me...Nap Kin. Good boy.

i am not looking for Super nanny, or anyone who wants this job because they will love my kids as if

they are their own. you won't. really. they are infinitely lovable, but trust me, they're mine and you

will move on when your journey with us is over, and save for some funny stories and a delightful

email every now and again, you won't grieve. Nor will we. (okay, we did all grieve a few of our past

sitters, oddly they were all named Sarah or Kate, or Nikki. And Leah. Leah was delightful, even if she

did drop my twin babies off our couch during a family gathering. Good times.

I don't want someone who has a lot of theories on the right way to raise kids, because in the end, I'm

just a woman doing my best. I'm willing to learn from you, or anyone, but not so much about how i

should parent my spawn. teach me to knit. introduce me to yoga, the white stripes, russian literature or

the best place to get a burger in the village at 2Am, but do not tell me to put star stickers on a good

boy chart. stickers irritate me.

If you are fundamentally unhappy with your life, you will be more unhappy if you take this job, so do

us all a favor and get some treatment or move to the Rockies, but do not apply for employment with

us. Also, if you suspect all wealthy women are frivilous, we are not for you. I do not want to hide my

occasional bergdorf shopping bag.

If you smoke, please quit. don't apply either, but please quit. i have known too many people diagnosed

with cancer this year. Even if you are a judgemental nanny 911 wannabe, no one should have to

endure some of the things I have wittnessed.

You gotta be able to drive with a valid license, but if you've ever hit a human,move to the next post.

You won't have to drive in the city, but if we go to our weekend place together, or if you make it to the

summer and still work for us, we need you to run into town to get some pink milk, so be able to drive

a mini van.

Can you swim? Swimming is good.

If you do drugs or drink enough so that you are grumpy in the morning and grumpier at night prior to

that next cocktail, call AA, and peruse craigslist childcare positions when you have a year sober. I'll

probably be looking again, and now is the time for you to focus on yourself anyway.

I need a team player. I need someone to back me up when it comes to remembering when the library

books are due, and whether i have rsvped to that birthday party yet.

Help me dear G-d keep track of our skim milk supply and also, also, also, what should I make for

dinner tomorrow night?

the hours are 7 in the morning to 8:30 in the morning. We'd be in it together, getting the kids out with

clean faces, brushed teeth and some food in their bellies. Doesn't that sound easy? Doesn't that sound

doable?

Then come on back for a fun filled afternoon 2:15-8:15 of activities and playdates and snacks and

dinners and homework and riveting conversations about global warming, hannah montana and guitar

hero.

When you do get to go home (to that swanky studio and possibly a significant other or buddy) your

time off will be respected. If I would like you to give extra hours, i'll ask. if you say yes, you get paid

15/ hour. if you say no, I will not fire you or hate you. Except if it is a school holiday or if i have a

sick kid, then i might ask, and unless you have a final exam worth 2/3 of your grade or tix The Lion

King, you may need to help out.

Okay, if you're still reading this ad, it means:

a) i am a halfway decent writer and maybe i really will get that book deal i'm yearning for

b) you need a job desparately

c) you think this just might be destiny, and that you could be one of the few, the proud, the potential

babysitter of our dreams.

D) you want all the information about job requirements, so that you can write me emails about how I

should stay home with my kids otherwise they are going to grow up to be sociopaths. (If my pen pal is

out there, wassup? Found love yet? No? How 'bout that.)

best of luck to all of you in your search for a job. Seriously. Job searching sucks. No two ways about

it.

RLS

JeanieK · 08-31-2008, 10:17 AM

This woman needs a little less caffine and maybe a couple of prosac.

Her kids sound normal but she sounds like she is a bit off There was no mention of a husband. Hmmmm wonder why?

Cherylt8 · 08-31-2008, 10:33 AM

Whew............. that was long!!!

jadecomputergal · 08-31-2008, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeanieK

This woman needs a little less caffine and maybe a couple of prosac.

Her kids sound normal but she sounds like she is a bit off There was no mention of a husband. Hmmmm wonder why?

They own a wine store and he manages that. I didn't see anything about whether he's as weird as she is.

Nancy1999 · 08-31-2008, 10:45 AM

Lol, I thought that was so funny, I wish she would write a "dating ad" next.

jadecomputergal · 08-31-2008, 10:53 AM

I kind of wondered if she'd been dipping into the stock before she wrote that.

J_is_my_initial · 08-31-2008, 11:34 AM

I thought it was funny. She will prob get a lot of answers to it just for people to see what she is like.

YorkieMother · 08-31-2008, 11:42 AM

I like that honest and straight forward and right on all fronts. Not hiding anything at all. I go have a look if I was in the market.

Rather the truth then the lies that fall out of to many employers mouths about them the hours the days of and just how bad the kids really are . That is a refreshing request for help.
The sense of humour she has is great and be easy to work with.

JL

Punkin&Piper · 08-31-2008, 11:51 AM

Yeah good luck to them on finding someone to stay!!

rainbowhope · 08-31-2008, 02:45 PM

..reminds me of a similar ad I saw for ex-gf pants...seemed the guy had no idea who had been in them lately....
But I think her ad topped his!...Very Creative!

rainbowhope · 08-31-2008, 02:46 PM

...oops sorry wrong thread..my apology..I was refering to the ebay ad someone added for her husband

MyLadies · 08-31-2008, 02:55 PM

Good Lord. The woman who put in the ad is a deal-breaker for me because she has some spelling errors and grammatical errors in her ad! LOL! (ok, maybe I'm more of a P.I.T.A than she is? LOL!

)

Nikki+2 · 08-31-2008, 02:56 PM

OMG that was so funny! I couldn't work for her but I guess it's helpful in finding someone who will be in for the long haul if you tell them all the downsides up front. She gets a gold star sticker

for liking Nikkis.

Nikki+2 · 08-31-2008, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MyLadies

Good Lord. The woman who put in the ad is a deal-breaker for me because she has some spelling errors and grammatical errors in her ad! LOL! (ok, maybe I'm more of a P.I.T.A than she is? LOL!

)

Okay that was hilarious!

izzierj · 08-31-2008, 03:22 PM

WOW, ROSIE MC DONNELL IS ASKING ALOT !!!!!!!

08-31-2008, 10:01 AM	#1
jadecomputergal Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: May 2008 Location: West Chester, PA, USA Posts: 323	Help wanted ad for a nanny As unbelievable as this sounds, it's a real ad for a nanny. The ad was so bizarre that the media picked up on it and did several news stories. The couple did eventually find a nanny. No word yet whether she's bailed out or is still sticking with it, but it's really too soon to say. The ad was posted only a short while ago, on August 19th. Live in Nanny Needed for 4 kids (Pls don't call them "Precious Ones") (Upper East Side) My kids are a pain in the ass. Just in the past hour, i have had to tell each one to do something more than once. oldest: can i have soda? it's just a sprite? please? can i? no, no and no. the next one...don't even get me started. seriously. the twin six year olds: one wanted dessert before her dinner was over, one kept wanting to know why I wouldn't let nine year olds swing her around by her limbs. (the fear of a dislocated shoulder did nothing.) Please help me. I can be a tad difficult to work for. I'm loud, pushy and while I used to think we paid well, i am no longer sure. i work from home, so you get the pleasure of being hounded by me all day long. and, you get to pretend to like me, because i am deeply sensative. (but well dressed and a know it all, a winning combination I assure you.) If you cannot multi task, or communicate without being passive aggressive, don't even bother replying. If you are the type who doesn't notice crumbs on the table, skip to the next post, because crumbs are a deal breaker. they put me over the edge. i have all sorts of theories on how to stack my dishwasher, and if you are judgemental about ritalin for adhd, or think such things are caused by too much sugar, again, deal break city. You do get a separate entrance excellent studio on the ues. you do get air conditioner and internet connection and cable. even hbo. and showtime. you can bring your spouse, roommate or partner, but sorry no kids. If you ask, can i bring my kid, the answer will be...anyone? anyone? No. If you can cook, all the better. otherwise, i'll teach you all sorts of things about pasta. (Here's a freebie, butter and parmesean, mmmmmm) If you know anything about chess and violin i will be impressed. We are not snobs, which is good. but then again, my kid sometimes swears to make a point. (We're working on it, but halfheartedly, because, well the apple doesn't fall far from the ****ing tree.)Although I am told they are all very bright, they have not mastered the use of the oh so complicated napkin. This is a napkin Junior, say it after me...Nap Kin. Good boy. i am not looking for Super nanny, or anyone who wants this job because they will love my kids as if they are their own. you won't. really. they are infinitely lovable, but trust me, they're mine and you will move on when your journey with us is over, and save for some funny stories and a delightful email every now and again, you won't grieve. Nor will we. (okay, we did all grieve a few of our past sitters, oddly they were all named Sarah or Kate, or Nikki. And Leah. Leah was delightful, even if she did drop my twin babies off our couch during a family gathering. Good times. I don't want someone who has a lot of theories on the right way to raise kids, because in the end, I'm just a woman doing my best. I'm willing to learn from you, or anyone, but not so much about how i should parent my spawn. teach me to knit. introduce me to yoga, the white stripes, russian literature or the best place to get a burger in the village at 2Am, but do not tell me to put star stickers on a good boy chart. stickers irritate me. If you are fundamentally unhappy with your life, you will be more unhappy if you take this job, so do us all a favor and get some treatment or move to the Rockies, but do not apply for employment with us. Also, if you suspect all wealthy women are frivilous, we are not for you. I do not want to hide my occasional bergdorf shopping bag. If you smoke, please quit. don't apply either, but please quit. i have known too many people diagnosed with cancer this year. Even if you are a judgemental nanny 911 wannabe, no one should have to endure some of the things I have wittnessed. You gotta be able to drive with a valid license, but if you've ever hit a human,move to the next post. You won't have to drive in the city, but if we go to our weekend place together, or if you make it to the summer and still work for us, we need you to run into town to get some pink milk, so be able to drive a mini van. Can you swim? Swimming is good. If you do drugs or drink enough so that you are grumpy in the morning and grumpier at night prior to that next cocktail, call AA, and peruse craigslist childcare positions when you have a year sober. I'll probably be looking again, and now is the time for you to focus on yourself anyway. I need a team player. I need someone to back me up when it comes to remembering when the library books are due, and whether i have rsvped to that birthday party yet. Help me dear G-d keep track of our skim milk supply and also, also, also, what should I make for dinner tomorrow night? the hours are 7 in the morning to 8:30 in the morning. We'd be in it together, getting the kids out with clean faces, brushed teeth and some food in their bellies. Doesn't that sound easy? Doesn't that sound doable? Then come on back for a fun filled afternoon 2:15-8:15 of activities and playdates and snacks and dinners and homework and riveting conversations about global warming, hannah montana and guitar hero. When you do get to go home (to that swanky studio and possibly a significant other or buddy) your time off will be respected. If I would like you to give extra hours, i'll ask. if you say yes, you get paid 15/ hour. if you say no, I will not fire you or hate you. Except if it is a school holiday or if i have a sick kid, then i might ask, and unless you have a final exam worth 2/3 of your grade or tix The Lion King, you may need to help out. Okay, if you're still reading this ad, it means: a) i am a halfway decent writer and maybe i really will get that book deal i'm yearning for b) you need a job desparately c) you think this just might be destiny, and that you could be one of the few, the proud, the potential babysitter of our dreams. D) you want all the information about job requirements, so that you can write me emails about how I should stay home with my kids otherwise they are going to grow up to be sociopaths. (If my pen pal is out there, wassup? Found love yet? No? How 'bout that.) best of luck to all of you in your search for a job. Seriously. Job searching sucks. No two ways about it. RLS

08-31-2008, 10:45 AM	#5
Nancy1999 I ♥ Joey & Ralphie! Donating Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Arizona Posts: 25,396 Blog Entries: 2	Lol, I thought that was so funny, I wish she would write a "dating ad" next. __________________ NancyJoey Proud members of the CrAzYcLuB and YAP! ** Just Say No to Puppymills – Join YAP! Yorkshire Terrier Club of America – Breeder Referrals

08-31-2008, 10:53 AM	#6
jadecomputergal Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: May 2008 Location: West Chester, PA, USA Posts: 323	Knowing that they own a liquor store... I kind of wondered if she'd been dipping into the stock before she wrote that.

08-31-2008, 11:34 AM	#7
J_is_my_initial YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Knoxville,Tennessee Posts: 3,073	I thought it was funny. She will prob get a lot of answers to it just for people to see what she is like. __________________ PAWPRINTS AND DOG HAIR ENHANCE MY PERSONAL STYLE.

08-31-2008, 11:51 AM	#9
Punkin&Piper Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Newport Beach, CA Posts: 1,088	Yeah good luck to them on finding someone to stay!! __________________ Laura Punkin and Piper

08-31-2008, 10:17 AM	#2
JeanieK Donating YT 12K Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Council Bluffs Iowa Posts: 12,552	This woman needs a little less caffine and maybe a couple of prosac. Her kids sound normal but she sounds like she is a bit off There was no mention of a husband. Hmmmm wonder why?

08-31-2008, 10:33 AM	#3
Cherylt8 Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: White City Canada Posts: 212	Whew............. that was long!!!

08-31-2008, 11:42 AM	#8
YorkieMother YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: North Posts: 1,324	I like that honest and straight forward and right on all fronts. Not hiding anything at all. I go have a look if I was in the market. Rather the truth then the lies that fall out of to many employers mouths about them the hours the days of and just how bad the kids really are . That is a refreshing request for help. The sense of humour she has is great and be easy to work with. JL

08-31-2008, 02:45 PM	#10
rainbowhope Yorkie Talker Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: downpatrick Posts: 14	..reminds me of a similar ad I saw for ex-gf pants...seemed the guy had no idea who had been in them lately.... But I think her ad topped his!...Very Creative!

08-31-2008, 02:46 PM	#11
rainbowhope Yorkie Talker Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: downpatrick Posts: 14	...oops sorry wrong thread..my apology..I was refering to the ebay ad someone added for her husband

08-31-2008, 02:55 PM	#12
MyLadies No Longer a Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Washington State Posts: 1,218	Good Lord. The woman who put in the ad is a deal-breaker for me because she has some spelling errors and grammatical errors in her ad! LOL! (ok, maybe I'm more of a P.I.T.A than she is? LOL! )

08-31-2008, 02:56 PM	#13
Nikki+2 I heart Sugar Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Florida Posts: 7,373	OMG that was so funny! I couldn't work for her but I guess it's helpful in finding someone who will be in for the long haul if you tell them all the downsides up front. She gets a gold star sticker for liking Nikkis. __________________ "If you have men who will exclude any of God’s creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men." — St. Francis of Assisi, 1181-1226

08-31-2008, 03:22 PM	#15
izzierj YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Arizona Posts: 710	WOW, ROSIE MC DONNELL IS ASKING ALOT !!!!!!! __________________ Michelle ~ and the girls ~ Harlee and Izzie ~ and our boy ~ Cole