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Oooh, I feel for you and hugs to you! Yes, she is still a child and doesn't fully understand that you're role as a parent is not only to see to her needs but to protect her from harm, as well. One day...probably in her 30s, she'll truly understand all that you have done and sacrificed for her. Maturity comes with age, as everyone knows. You can do what my mom did to me...LOLOL...put the "Mother's Curse" on her. My mom and I got into an argument my senior year of high school...we never argued until then and my mom said, "I hope that one day your kids do to you what you've done to me!" I'll never forget the curse and so far, it hasn't shown it's ugly head...but I fear it is coming. My daughter is 13...so not much younger than yours. |
I remember saying things like this to my mom when I was younger. I feel bad for it now, and I feel grateful for her sacrifices now. I understand now because I have had to make many sacrifices for my son. |
Mother daughter relationships always go through the "ruff patch"... Hugs to you, it'll get better :) |
So sorry that you had to go through this:( I never talk back to my mom if I had I would never had front (dientes)theeth:embarasse |
I was terrible at that age. But please, read my recent thread "my son's friend died" and give your daughter a hug and be so thankful she is there to hug. |
I am so sorry your daughter said that! I have to concur with just about everyone else- I was SO MEAN to my parents when I was a teenager. I mean, I was horrible. I feel so bad about it now and have for the last couple of years (I am 25). I do apologize to my mom all the time but we are great friends now! Teenagers can be so mean but it's usually to cover up hurt feelings or insecurities or whatever- totally unrelated to you I am sure!! Good luck and just keep remembering all of us who where mean to their mommies and now regret it!! She will too. :p |
Sorry you had to hear that from your daughter. Sometimes people say mean things, things that they know you're sensitive to, to hurt you. If it were MY daughter, now that things are patched up I would sit down and tell her how much her comment hurt you, and that even though she apologized, you want to know why she was trying to deliberately hurt you. And that if she ever does that again, you'll take away any and every priveledge you've worked so hard to provide for her. Even though it's great she apologized and you guys patched things up, I think it's important for her to know and understand her boundaries. So she doesn't think she can just say anything hurtful and aplologizing for it makes it all better. |
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Prepare yourself for more to come for at least the next 2-3 years. This is the time-frame I refer to as living in "Snotty Little B*itch Land". My daughter settled there for MANY years and only started becoming human again around 18. It is something about girls and their moms and I think if we women are truthful with ourselves, we will see that we all lived there to some degree as well. That being said, don't allow her to be abusive. My daughter spent much of these years in her room!!!!!! |
Aww, I'm sorry - blame it on the raging hormones. Not to worry, it will get better - by the time she's 30;). I went thru it twice. My last one blamed her behavior on us - it was our fault we spoiled her:rolleyes:. There were times I would be so close to tears, I'd have to walk away. Apologies always came from them. Either in words, cards or little gifts. Sometimes, they would even clean their rooms, or better yet, the rest of the house. The biggest problem was thinking before they spoke and just what effect their words would have on the people they spoke them to. I just kept drilling that into their heads. They actually both outgrew it by 18. Just remember, you are not alone, and everyone one of us who has been there, loves and appreciates you - as you are:) - a very special YT'er:):). |
Take heart...and fasten your seatbelt:) I survived three teen daughters all at once! There were days I thought for sure I was going to be one of those moms who ended up in the psyche ward or in prison!...lol Just try to remember growing up with your own mom, although we were all much better behaved "back then":) She was just being 14:( Good luck:rolleyes: |
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Sorry she hurt your feelings. I have raised and teenage girl (now 28) and work with 17-18 year olds everyday for 20 years(high school teacher). Just try and remember that 90% of the time they speak before they think(and most of the time it's garbage!). They get angry and lash out because they are only thinking of themselves and what they want ! And you do have this ray of hope......by the time she is 25, she will know how smart your really are. PS. Don't think a college diploma always means you're smart. I've seen alot of really stupid acting people that have that piece of paper. From your posts...you sound pretty darn smart to me! Take care. |
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