Venting about my mom...:(
 

Sorry everyone I just need to vent...

So I'm 20 and as some of you may know, Mike and I have had a pretty rough time lately. Well I've decided to go to college. I finally figured I would have the time and would be able to get financial aid and everything. So I looked up the community college here, picked my classes I wanted to take, then I looked up financial aid. Well considering I'm still consider "dependent", I would need a parent signature. The only way I wouldn't need their signature is if I was "independent" which means I would need to be: Married, have a child, ward of the state, or in the military. Well as of right now I'm none of those and Mike and I aren't getting married until next summer and I wanted to start college before then.

So here's the part that made me so upset tonight I cried.

I called my dad earlier today and told him. He sounded a little happy and told me he would sign the papers for me. But the only thing is I need his and my mothers signature. So I called later tonight around 8 something and I asked my mom. She laughed at me. She just flat out laughed. She didn't believe that I wanted to go to college. She used to tell me I wasn't smart enough to go.
I really want to go to college and get more education. I'm just so upset that she wasn't even trying to be happy for me. She just laughed and thought it was a big joke. I honestly thought her and I were on good enough terms for me to ask for a stupid signature that would just determine that they can't pay for college and that I would be able to receive financial aid.


Again, sorry, had to vent..I'm so upset right now and unless the community college can do something, I can't go to college until after I'm married which is about a year away. :(

Hey kiddo - hang in there. If you can prove that you do not get any type of financial assistance from your family then you can register as an independent student. It is a little more work but it does skirt you by the parent situation.

This is one of those times where you need to go in and talk to the Financial Aid Counselor and then fill out the FASFA.

:)

I'm going to give them a call tomorrow and see when I can go in.

I'm just upset that my own mom doesn't even want to help me. And even if they only did need one parent signature...my mom wouldn't allow my dad to do it.

That stinks, but definately check with the college financial aid office and see what they can do. I think it's great you want to goto college!!!

It is great that your dad supports you with going to college. I am sorry that your mom reacted that way. Hang in there. Fill out the forms you need to and go for it. Good luck.

oh hunni I am so sorry.. I applaud you for taking that step and wanting to get the education despite what your mother says. (how rude!)

Isn't there another way other than filing "independant" on your forms?
Maybe get an exempt on her signature?

Unless your parents still claim you on their tax return...you are not a dependent.

I'm sorry to hear you don't get the support from your mom...I tried to go to college about the same age as you but my parents wouldn't sign the papers because it wasn't my business or anyone elses how much money they made!

I ended up waiting until I was independent...with a child.

you are still dependent on pell grant forms and such...unless your married, have a child, military and a few others...B.S. if you ask me

Aw love, I'm so sorry. I think I have always taken for granted having such an awesome mom. My mom would do anything for me, and I take that for granted. Which really, it shouldn't be a luxury, that is how a mom is SUPPOSED to be. I can't believe your mom wouldn't be supportive of you trying to better yourself and your life. It's really sad. Don't listen to her, of course you are smart enough. All I can say is...prove her wrong!!! I just hope something works out for you and the day you graduate you can say "SEE I AM SMART ENOUGH!!!" You have nothing to prove. But bettering yourself and accomplishing this task is the best revenge I say. Don't let it crush your dreams, stay strong.

I'm so sorry that happened. If you were my dau, I would be ecstatic that you wanted an education. You really do need to get one. Don't give up!

You can exclued one parents income. So if your dad is willing to sign then he can do the signing. Listen I had the same issues with my mom....I got the papers from my dad and forged her name...oh well. I wasn't asking for a loan with her as co-signer so I have no idea why she wanted to be nasty...just hateful. Mind you I was out on my own since I was 17.

Are your parents together ? Do they file seperately or jointly? If they file jointly as long as he gives you the papers your good to go.

You do what you have to do even if it means listening to her trash to get the paperwork you need. I too found that requirement disgusting. One way you can emancipate yourself from them if is you work and make more than $10k. Once you make above that they are really not supposed to claim you. You can still continue to receive medical and dental under them even if they don't claiim you as a dependent on their returns. You can pm me if you want to yak more about this. I have so been there and followed this path.

Sending you a big old hug.

So I called the college today and I need to go in and talk to the financial aid advisors.
I'm signed up for a tour on Thursday at 9:30am. I'll be talking to the financial aid then and some other people.

I called my dad back today as well. He didn't even know that my mom laughed at me or anything. He told me to call him back in a few days because he's going to talk to my mom. (I don't think it will help, but he said he will try.)

Thats just the update as of now.

Hey Kiddo - Remember this very important thing - your higher education is for you and not for anyone else. Don't allow anyone to stop you or stop your process. I hope that one day your mom will be the first one to stand in the audience and applaud your hard work, your commitment and perserverance.

I am really proud of you for taking the step! It's work but it's the best work because you are doing it for YOUR future. :clapsmile:

Have you and your mom had a bumpy relationship? I can't believe she would laugh at you! OMG I would think she would be happy that her daughter is making a grown up discission.

I'm sorry, I hope it works out for you.

I'm so sorry your mom was so rude, but it's great that you aren't letting that stop you and you are still going in to talk to an advisor. Like many others have said, there are loopholes and hopefully you can get it all straightened out.

Chances are your mom will regret her behavior someday, but don't let it get you down too much...turn it into a motivator!

Good luck :thumbup:

If and when I do go to college, I will be the first in my family.

And you will!!! :) ;) As others have said- remain positive and forge ahead with your education. You will succeed as long as you give it your all. The sky's the limit. Best of luck to you!!!!

Thanks everyone. I'm really excited to go to college, I can't wait until the campus tour on Thursday. I'm even having Mike go hoping he'll want to attend college too :)

Heading to the college in about 30 minutes for my campus tour and to talk to the financial aid person. I'll update when I get back! :):D

:thumbup:That is true....you should be able to register as a "mature" or "adult" student.....contact a counselor at the school....Good luck! and Kudo's for you for wanting to go to school!:p

Hey I haven't read all of the responses yet. But I want you to know that you are independent. You live on your own. You do not live with your family. IF your parents are claiming you on their taxes at the end of each year then you are depentent when it comes to aid. If your mother is claiming you then you need to tell her to stop or call IRS and let them know that she is lying about your status. Play hard ball back. She keeps making money at the end of the year or help you get into college. One or the other. You need to talk to the college and grab all of the monies they will give you. If your GPA is really good they will offer you a in house scholarship. Too simple for you to stress over.

Furthermore, my mom did the same thing to me when I was younger, I was not the special child my brother was. IT took me 15 years to get over what my family did to me, and now I am almost finished with a degree in Corrections Juvenile Justice minor in Women studies with a GPA 3.6 with a husband, and three teenage kids that support me when it comes to my degree. So hang in there and try every rd before you give up. My biggest day for me was when I got excepted into a 4 year college, my next biggest will be when I walk down the to grab what I worked so hard for. This is coming from a kid that dropped out of school at 16 because I was told that I would never amount to anything, nor would anyone ever love me...but I was the best kid anyone could have, but she just couldn't love me.

Good luck today! I'm sure the FAO will have some ideas.

Well I went to the college today and I have plenty of good news.

First, the lady I talked to said she can help me situate things with my mom and my financial problem. ( :) )

Second, Mike can get his GED for free AND he can take classes if he wanted to.

Third, I called my dad, and he told me to call tomorrow to talk to my mom since she won't be home until late tonight. He told me that he talked to her a bit about it so things should work out.

Quickie update. My mom told me to send her the papers and we will go from there.

You CAN do it. I can tell you are smart just from your posts! Your Mom may feel intimidated. I guess when your child starts getting smarter than you, it can be a little rough. Glad it is all working out!

You are gonna do great!

I am a college grad - Masters - received both degrees in my adult life by myself - with little kids. I don't recommend it but I did do it and so can you!

These are YOUR dreams - work hard and you'll do great!

I'm actually hoping to have college done before we have kids. That way I can put my attention to my baby without worrying about leaving him/her for college and work.