Advise needed

[Bizzymammabee]

Sorry but I would sit down and tell her the way things are. That is rediculous that she lets the kids behave that way. My children know they can act the fool at home but never at someone elses home.

[Suzy]

Missy, sorry to hear this is happening to you. I'm glad she stopped by without the kids this weekend-did that give the two of you a chance to talk? Though I agree with everyone's ideas about just telling her exactly how you feel, I understand the tough spot you are in-you don't want to be rude or burn any bridges because she is family, and being 22 and having 3 kids, she probably really needs you right now.

If she stops by again without the kids, (or make a phone call after the kids are in bed-or better yet drop in on HER!) have a heart to heart with her and let her know your concerns about her stopping by unannounced & with her kids' behavior, tell her that you are working on orders during the day, and let her know the ground rules for your house. Tell her that you enjoy her company and seeing her children, but that it would be much more enjoyable for everyone if the visits were planned and her children were better behaved. Then, the next time the kids come over with her, sit them down-no toys, no tv, no food to distract them, and tell them directly what your expectations are, and what the consequences for not following the rules will be. (Maybe you have a time-out chair or spot on a rug that the kids will go when they are misbehaving, and set a timer for 1 minute for each year they are old). Make sure she backs you on this, and lets them know that "when they're in Missy's house, she IS the boss."

[yougetthesmiles]

Originally Posted by celstu1

Lock your doors and hide your car! At least she cannot get in. If she calls later to ask where you were just make something up. If you are 'out' more often when she comes over Im sure her visits will cut back bc she won't expect you to just be home when she feels like coming over. Thats a tough situation. My Best friend has a 4 yo boy who is out of control, he kicks my dogs. I have to put my dogs in my room when she brings him over and tell him they are tired and need a nap. She does nothing while hes trying to kick the puppies and saying out loud "KICK the PUPPIES!" I have to tell him to stop. He just does not listen at all. When she discplines him, she SCREAMS and it sounds like 2, 4 year olds going at it. Its gotten to the point where I have not seen her in over 3 months now. I just cannot take her kid at all anymore. He over stimulates me and she does too. Maybe you can tell your cousin that you just cannot take the rowdiness of the kids when you are trying to work. Make sure she knows that even if you are home, you are 'at work' technically and she can't come barging in during the day like she does. Just say it nicely. Im sure you won't get family issues going if you are polite and nice.

Im sorry though, that does stink!

I can handle the occasional brat, but when they are trying to hurt my yorkies it's a whole new ball game!

My daughter told me she called like 6 times on Sunday while i was at work??? Then she called bright and early Monday to see if i was going to be home. I had a few errands to run with my mom (still have no vehicle) so I was not going to be home this afternoon. So far I have not seen her!