My son who is now in 4th had problems in kindergarden. Part of the problem was he just wasnt ready for school. Boys do mature slower and some schools only want little robots. There was and is nothing wrong with him,the school was wrong. The best thing that ever happened to him was our moving,the new school gave him a chance and now hes in an accelerated program pulling all A's. Never stop fighting the school for your child, your his only advocate. And call the teacher on blackballing him. I hope your son wins this.

Well, first off, I'm wondering what age your son is at. Does he perhaps have a late birthday as this frequently plays into it and some kids are just not ready as soon as others and that's perfectly fine but I have found that sometimes the schools here in NY push the kids into school asap and it's not always what is best. I have also found that different kids learn in different ways and it doesn't really matter how they learn, so long as they all get there. I would stop the nite time sessions as it does not sound like they are much fun for any of you and they don't sound productive either. I would look at doing some out of the box kind of stuff. My 4 year old and I play a guessing game which I actually started with my older son. My older son was really into dinosaurs so we used to play the "Dinosaur guessing game". One person would have to think of a dinosaur and they told the letter it started with and the other would have to guess which one and they only got 3 guesses. My son loved it because it had to do with dinosaurs but what he didn't realize was that he had to sound out the first letters so it was fun and he learned at the same time. I guess I'm just saying that I would encourage you to find fun ways to learn. I would also look at some alternatives to meds. I would research some holistic ways to deal with it but if you have to, then do what's best. I would also be sure your son has some time to run and be really active every day as well. Good luck and remember patience!

I just want to add that I totally agree with this. Don't expect schools to necessarily do what's best for your child as my experience has been that that is not always the case.

So sorry...
 

I am really sorry that you are going through this with your little one. I hope that it gets better for both of you. I am a teacher and I do not believe that all children simply need medication. In my school district it is against rules and regulations for any teacher to say that a child needs medication or to give a diagnosis. It is very "easy" to teach only children who sit in their desk quietly and learn everything perfectly, but how boring is that??? I personally love the challenge of working with children who do need a little extra attention, patience, and help. (I have been teaching for 10 years) It is very rewarding when these children come back to you and tell you the successes in their lives. There are many things that can be done to help your son if the school/teacher is willing to work with you.

I would suggest that you ask other parents or go and meet the potential teachers for next year. Find which one of the teachers would fit your childs personality best. Is it the soft spoken one or the loud teacher? I wouldn't say why you are there, just check them out. Then make a request in the office as to which class you would like your child to be in. They may not do it, but when and if you have problems, you can always say, "well I asked you to put him in Ms.____________'s class and you wouldn't do it."

I don't know if this will help you at all, but I hope that he will get the help and patience that he needs to feel good about going to school.

Thea and Roxee:aimeeyork

Add/adhd
 

I have 3 kids, 15 Boy, 9, 9 (twin girls). Your post sounds so similar to what we went thru when my son was in preschool. After pulling him from the school, we were told by a fellow teacher (a confidential phone call) that they thought it was his teacher.

I think it is so common for school systems to have the attitude that boys should act like girls. The fact is, boys are more active and learn much differently than girls. They need to be interested in what is being taught, or your "loose" them. Your son is probably very bright and they need to find better ways of teaching for him.

One thing I have learned over the years is that some times, it's the teacher! As much as I support my kid's teachers, I have found some to be less than effective, and they DO have negative opinions about certain students. When my son was in 6th grade he kept telling me that his language arts teacher didn't make since. He said she contradicted herself and was nuts. I supported the teacher and was very hard on my son when he came home with an F one term. In a all-teacher, principal and counsilor conference, they made it out to be my son's problem. You can imagine what I felt mid year of the following school year when I learned this teacher was arrested for heroin. They aren't all what we would hope. Most are.

Take a better look at your son's teacher and go easy on your son. I'm sure he's a fantastic kid...and very smart! ADD/ADHD is labeled on too many kids (especially boys) these days. If the med's didn't do much for him the first time...hold off and try whatever you can with other methods.

Good luck...Kathy

By the way, my son is on honor roll these days... :)

Did you have your son tested for ADD/ADHD with the school system, or by an outside physician? I was told to do it outside the school system because they are better qualified to diagnose. If he is diagnosed with learning difficulties, legally, I believe the school system must help your son with special help. Be a pest at the school to get what he needs, or outside help if necessary.

Ok the "test" they gave me and my sons teacher was a qeustionare about his behavior and thats all it took for them to want him on meds doesnt seem suffiecent does it
I was reluctant to put him on them and so I put him on the lowest doasge i could i even had to cut pills in half
His Peditricain is the one who says he has add, I going to change doctors

I wanted to say his teacher althou not very helpfull does not think he has add infact she blantly told me i was comtosing him ( NOT the case ) but does tell he did better learning & behavior while he was on the meds so she contradicts herself and openly admits she know nothing about add
I took him off the meds because to me as a parent who knows my child better then anyone did not feel they were doing anything other then maybe depressing him

I have 4 boy's and my # 3 son was born at 26 weeks gestation age, I knew that he COULD have learning problems when he got older because of his early birth. He was put in Early Intervention right within the same week he was discharged from the NICU @ Rainbow Babies and Childrens Hospital. I was lucky that he was getting help early on. By the time he turned 4 he was so behind with a lot of skills, his speech was at a 18 month old's ability, I just knew something was not right.I had my son tested at age 4 by a neuropsychologist at the Cleveland Clinic. His pediatrician thought that he just might be Autistic or have Asperger syndrome and referred us to have a qualified specialest see him. It was a very lengthy prosses with his testing and in the end he was found to have ADHD combined type along with Apraxia that effects his speech and fine motor skills. He gets good grades in school and we rarely have issues with his ADHD. He is on an IEP to get the help he needs to stay on tasks during school.

The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) is what you need to check out with your schools district. I am in Ohio and I have a currant copy of the Who's IDEA booklet.

They( school district) should be able to provide you with a copy of the Whose IDEA is This? A resource Guide for Parents booklet. In it it explains how you go about getting your child a Multifactorial Evaluation to see if they qualify for IEP.

I believe that they are wrong telling you that if he is found to not Qualify for help if you have an MFE done then you can not have him re tested till 2 years later. If you do not agree with a finding of NOT ELIGIBLE then you can request an independent educational evaluation or you can request a DUE Process hearing. My sister had her son tested 3 years straight with no luck, the last test they did the said he did not qualify and she requested a Independent evaluation be done and 3 day's later she got a call from the school telling her that they were qualifying her son for "OTHER health Impairment" and he was able to get help finally!

Also if you can, check out books at your library. Look for books that help give information to parents on childrens education or learning disabilities or even an IEP. One good one that I have read is By Lawrence M Siegel called Nolo's IEP Guide: Learning Disabilities

Be your child's biggest advocate
 

My kind advice:
I know what you must be going thru and really feel for you and your son. Take this out of the school's hands and get a referral from your primary to have a learning diability evaluation (insurance usually covers it...it was a co-pay for us). This is a full Saturday evaluation by a physician who specializes in these tests. They will spend time talking and playing games with your son to evaluate if he has ADD/ADHD, or any other "learning" disabilities. We did this for my son and found that in some areas he did show signs of ADD yet "not enough overall to label him with ADD." Basically, he's a very intelligent young man, which is typical of ADD children. They have "too much" focus. If not interested in what the teacher is teaching, they will focus on what another child is doing, or a bird outside, etc... Your son may have a boring teacher! After this outside testing, I would meet with the principal and insist on a specific teacher who can supply your son with the teaching style he needs. You can take the recommendations from this testing physician and put it under their nose. You must be the biggest advocate for your son. They will not be. As I'm sure you are doing, give him lots of hugs and praises, as I know he's a fantastic kid, and you are a great Mom. Don't ever let the school/teacher make you feel otherwise.
Hang in there girl! Kathy

also, do go with your "gut feeling" as a mother. Do not question yourself about taking him off the meds. ADD/ADHD meds are only a tool in helping your son (maybe not the right tool). There are so many other things you can do which will help him more than the meds, such as making lists for him (my son requires this because he cannot follow thru doing more than 2 things at a time, etc...) keeping structure in his life, and I agree with one of the above posts about diet. I knew from an early age that sugar and chocolate spun my son out of control. It doesn't do that for all kids. I can tell, even at the age of 15 when he has "snuck" chocolate into his diet. Stress will make things worse...so ease up on him at home, etc... The teacher must be very stressful for him, I bet he knows she has a bad attitude towards him, etc...

I have a daughter with SEVERE ADD but NON ADHD... it is VERY different. It took a ver long time for us to figure it out because she had no symptoms beyond comprehension and concentration.....

We TRIED forever to get her on the right track, and finally found a med for her that actually worked with the ADD and did not affect her personality or her behavior. It takes TIME, and Patience....

I would go to the school counselor, and ask for assistance, this is what they get paid for! We did however have a teacher that simply didnt understand her condition and had to have many conferences to get this cleared...

Keep you chin up, you ARE doing the right thing.... sometimes it takes different meds for them to cope with. She is 16 now and has been weaned off the meds, we treat it with behavior only now and it works!

Good Luck, if you would like to chat, I will be happy to help you any way I can!
d

May I ask what medication it was that worked for her??

Ditto

There is actually no separation... It is all referred to as ADHD with the emphasis on lack of concentration or on hyperactivity.

I know people that have children with concentration issues do not like being lumped into the ADHD diagnosis but its just diagnosing term:(

I am so glad your daughter is doing well now:D