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12-01-2007, 10:14 AM | #1 |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: California
Posts: 5,368
| Had to share..ha! Baked Beans - This is hilarious! One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!" I Fainted!!! |
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12-01-2007, 10:17 AM | #2 |
Lovin' My Mika-Monster Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,462
| L M A O!!!! thanks for posting this, it made my day soo much better
__________________ Mika & Ollie |
12-01-2007, 10:31 AM | #3 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 4,591
| OMG, that was too funny
__________________ Eva and her keikis: Hokule'a, Kalani & Pi'ilani |
12-01-2007, 10:54 AM | #4 |
Piper & Sebastian Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: florida
Posts: 14,495
| ROFLMAO That is too cute.
__________________ Susan, Piper ,Harley & Suiki |
12-01-2007, 01:27 PM | #5 |
Love The Verminator! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: ny
Posts: 4,282
| Laughing so hard I've got tears in my eyes. I can just picture it!
__________________ Roxy loves Alphy Remi loves Millie [COLOR="Purple"]Mom to RoxyJo & Remington , Fozzy Bear & Chloe |
12-01-2007, 02:00 PM | #6 |
Mojo, LilyGrace & Me Donating Member Moderator Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: cuddling with my babies<3
Posts: 17,329
| AwwwHaaaHaaaHaaaa.......that is GREAT!!!!!!
__________________ Hi I'm Jenn Mom to..... Mojo,LilyGrace & DD Kate RIP Mojo FOREVER in our hearts! |
12-01-2007, 02:16 PM | #7 |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: California
Posts: 5,368
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12-01-2007, 02:18 PM | #8 |
Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: wiith my furbabys
Posts: 8,874
| LOL.... I have got to share that one I thought he had made her some beans lol
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12-01-2007, 02:22 PM | #9 |
I Love My Yorkies Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 37,147
| LOL thats hilarious
__________________ Chachi's & Jewels Mom Jewels http://www.dogster.com/?132431Chachi http://www.dogster.com/?132427 |
12-01-2007, 02:24 PM | #10 |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Riverview, Florida
Posts: 4,953
| funny funny |
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