Tinkerbell's Necropsy
 

Hey all - I just wanted to let you guys know that last night (two weeks to the day) the Dr. called and gave me the preliminary verbal reports of Tinkerbell's necropsy. She said Tinkerbell died of brain swelling! She said Tink had fluid in the brain, that it was bigger than normal and flattened. The Dr. couldn't tell or explain why or how this happened, but offered several possibilities, to include heart problems or metabollic disturbance. She said it was absolutely not low blood sugar, as there were no indications of any liver changes. The Dr. was wonderful, spent about 30 minutes with me on the phone and really tried hard to make me feel better. I am so heartbroken - wondering if my baby suffered prior to her death. :confused:

I did call the breeder and told her the results and she was so sad for me and said she was so sorry that I had to go through that. She said Tink showed no signs of any illness during the time she was with her. She also said that breeders dream of "parents" like me and that Tinkerbell had the best 10 days of her life with me. Those words were so soothing and comforting, but I still cried a river. The breeder said she knew I wasn't ready right now, but that when I was ready, she would email me pics of a beautiful new baby girl who was waiting for me to start a wonderful life! I'm really confused because I know Tinkerbell can't ever be replaced. I don't know how I will feel with a new baby. Right now I'm not ready. But I do know that when the time comes, I am flying from NJ to Missouri to pick her up and not have her endure such a long flight and layover by herself.

Mia

Oh, wow! Well at least you can get some closure from this. Mia will never be forgotten and I know you'll hold her close to your heart.

I am sooo sorry to hear about your little baby!! I hope that this news will bring some closure for you. I am so glad that the breeder is working with you and has a new baby waiting for you. When you are ready I am sure you will be able to share you love with this new baby girl. Give yourself time to grieve first!!

I am so sorry! I sure Tinkerbell was soooo happy the 10 days she was with you. She was a lucky puppy. When you are ready, you will have a new addition that will bring you further happiness. My thoughts are with you and I commend you for being so strong!

So sorry to hear about little Tinkerbell...Only time will help ease your pain. We will be praying for you, and remember that she is in heaven now.

I am so sorry about Tinkerbelle. I know she was greatly loved by you. She had the best time of her too short life while she was with you, of that I am sure. I hope you heal and take another puppy from the breeder that will fill you heart with love.
Jessica

Thank you all for your kind words. I have been just as sad since I received the necropsy report as the day Tinkerbell died. At least I now know that it wasn't low blood sugar and it wasn't something that I did. I really beat myself up for not driving faster to the hospital, for not giving her enough nutrical...but the Dr. told me it there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. I can now begin whatever this thing called "closure" is......on a side note, the breeder has been so wonderful - very caring and concerned. I spoke with her and she said she has 3 new baby girls, but I wasn't ready to talk about another baby right now. She understands and said whenever I am ready I can call her. This week was tough - I got in the mail a few packages of things I had ordered for Tinkerbell - bows, clothes, etc. I miss her so much.

Mia

I understand doubting your feelings about getting another puppy- I lost my puppy (a shih tzu) when the breeders college age daughter steped on her. I cried and cried for days --until my husband threw the paper at me and told me to find another puppy. I didn't want another puppy- I wanted Gabby! Well that is how I found Macy- thus getting my first taste of a yorkie.
I can't tell you that you won't think about her or still feel the pain of your loss but that bond does come back...Good luck!

Thank you...that's what I'm hearing, that my heart is big enough for another baby. I'm just hoping the folks on this forum are right about time healing my heartache.

Just a quick question...a new member joined us today. Her furbaby has been having seizures. I directed her to your threads as a possible source. They've done liver shunt tests but they've come back clear.

Was this the only seizure that Mia had or had she had others?

Hi Kimberly - actually, I'm Mia, my baby's name was Tinkerbell :o)
No, Tinkerbell had not had any seizures prior to the one that caused her death. Depending on the size of the puppy (i.e., a tiny one) the new member should get a tube of nutri-cal from the pet store in the event the puppy's blood sugar level is low. I would take the puppy to the hospital or vet immediately to ensure there is no brain or heart issues like Tinkerbell had.

Mia

Sorry, Mia...that makes twice tonight I've screwed up names. :D

I believe that she's done that with the nutrical...but would have to ask. I also referred her to Texas A&M since they have a veternarian school there with the most up-to-dates in everything. Thanks for taking the time to answer. I hope that she finds her answers soon.

Rest in peace, Tinkerbell.

No problem...we'll blame it on the late hour!! Well, I hope her baby is taken care of right away so that she never has to experience the grief of losing her. If there is anything I can do, please let me know.

Mia

I pm-d her this thread and one other of yours. I'm sure that she'll pm you when she gets the chance to read them.

Thanks again! :)

Mia, I am so sorry for your loss of Tinkerbell. I just lost a little girl of my own last week, so I can understand your sadness and needing a break to grieve. I am not trying to steer you in any direction, but my Maddie left behind one puppy when she passed. I have to say that knowing that I have her to care for and look forward to, really does help ease the pain...even if it's just a little. I know no other puppy would ever be able to replace Tinkerbell, but just think that there is another puppy waiting for you that you will be able to give a wonderful loving home to. It breaks my heart knowing that you've received your little "gifts" for Tinkerbell during this hard time. It was hard seeing Maddie's clothes and toys around the house too. Just try your best to stay strong and know we are all praying for you. Sending you a big hug.

Heather

MiaW - I hope you feel up to getting your new little puppy soon.

I lost a dog I loved with all my heart a few months ago - and two or three months later got my little Yorkie.

I can assure you that one dog never replaces another. You will just be getting a new little dog to love. I think of the little dog I lost daily and will remember and love her every day for the rest of my life.

And, of course, I love my new little Yorkie pup to pieces. He's wonderful. And, I still have my Bichon (I got the new little Yorkie pup for him as much as I did for myself - he was lonesome). And he and the new little pup have become fast friends.

Every dog you have is something different that you love. One part of your heart will love Tinkerbell forever - and another part will fall in love quickly with your new little pup.

Good luck!

Carol Jean

Hello, just wanted to check in with you and see how you and your family were doing.. I know that you have been through hell on earth. I hope that you will be able to move forward and get another baby someday. Don't rush yourself though, you will know when the time is right. Good luck and God bless you all, -Heather :)

Mia, I wanted to say I'm so sorry to hear about your little Tinkerbell. We lost our Kelli on November 25th and I thought my heart would break without her. It did for a while and still does at times, but on January 7th we brought Isabella home.

I still miss Kelli. I still want to kiss her, and hold her, and love on her. I can still hear her feet clicking across the floor, her tags jingling, and her sweet bark. I still talk to her (and in fact, one of the first things I did when we brought Bella into the house was show her Kelli's picture and I said, "Isabella, look, it's your big sister! She's your angel now baby, she'll always watch over you." and I believe that. Kel will always be a part of our family, just as Tinkerbell will always be a part of yours. I hope that you're able to bring a new baby into your home soon because you will not believe the immense weight it takes off your heart. Nothing and no one can replace your Tinkerbell, but you have alot of love in your heart to give a new baby when you're ready to.

You and your family will be in my thoughts. RIP little Tinkerbell. :littleang

My regards are with you and your family during this hard time...I know first hand how it is to lose a baby so soon afet getting it... I got another dog a month later because I knew it would be the right thing.. Even though Mocha is never forgotten, Lily Mae has filled that void in my heart that Mocha left.. I wish you all the best in your decision

Hello My Friends
 

Hi my friends - haven't been on here for a few days (I am an attorney and have been on trial) but in any event, first and foremost, thank you so much for all of your messages - public and private - expressing concern about Tinkerbell. And thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. The last few days have been terrible. For some reason, I find myself feeling just as sad today as the day when Tinkerbell passed away. And I thought I was doing so well. I suppose this is part of the grief cycle. The breeder called and said she had a new litter in December and that the babies would be able to go in March. I told her I couldn't even entertain the thought of looking at a picture of another baby right now. Is that crazy or what? Especially when most of you say that another baby would ease the pain. I just don't know. My 12 year old daughter still cries when we mention Tinkerbell and I overheard my 3 year old talking to one of her dolls and saying that God was "naughty" for taking Tinkerbell away. That broke my heart. But how do I console them when I am so sad myself?

Mia :cry: :cry:

Mia, I am so sorry to hear that things are still so hard for you. I know how you feel. I myself am up tonight still crying my eyes out for my Maddie. I wish there was something to say, but there's not. There's simply nothing you can do but grieve. I don't have children so I cannot imagine what you're going through. I know they must be devastated. I saw this website http://www.homevet.com/bonding/loss.html that may be able to help (I've been reading them for myself). If you scroll down, it has a few pointers with helping children deal with the loss of their pet. Saying a prayer and hugs for you all.

Hi Mia,

I'm so sorry to hear about Tinkerbell. I'm sure Tinkerbell had the most wonderful 10 days BECAUSE she was with you.

I hope you'll heal soon so that your heart will be ready for another baby to love.

I Do :(
 

know the feeling all to well I have 6, 3, and an 18 month old girls and when Bear was taken from me on 1-8-06 My Girls were just as devastated as I and my 6 year old was copletely lost woth put him so I asked her what she wanted to do that would ease our pain and she asked if we could get another puppy BUT NOT one like Bear. I told her that we would consider it and well I did get one and she was so excited. We do still talk about our Bear but its easier with Sugar b/c we are a bit distracted by her needs. Hope this helps

Mia,
I am so sorry for your pain and loss. We went through it with Bandit, he died a month after we got him. I totally did not want another one because I was heartbroken. But then, I decided that I couldn't live without a yorkie to love. Tucker is our new boy and I love him so much. He absolutly did not take the place of Bandit. I love him as a completly different baby. You'll know when you are ready. It won't be disrespectful to Tink's memory, it shows that she was so special that you went and got another one to honor the love she brought into your life.
Where in NJ do you live? I am in Milltown.

Please accept this comment with the love that is intended.. Our youngest daughter{human} died at 5 years old with the human form of the same brain problem..it hurt so bad, I didn't cry rivers, I cried lakes..I knew i would never be the same again,then my wonderful husband who was hurting as bad as I was took me out to buy a yorkie baby,that was 15 years ago..yes the puppy did help me to get better, I had someone to love and take care of,not just cry my life away..I have sence lost her,but I will always have a yorkie to love..they are all differant,but they make you see a new day..you can't keep hurting and love a new someone too..there is no way a dog took the place of our daughter,but it sure helped heal me and to bring out the best in me.. I can still love,my heart is big enough to love,but it also showed me I can get past this..time does heal,but you need to put forth the effort too..no puppy will replace your baby,but it will allow you to give and receive love again..allow yourself the privlege of starting life over..I do understand more than you know

Gosh, I am so sorry about the loss of your daughter...I almost feel selfish for grieving over the loss of my yorkie and you lost your child. Thank you so much for understanding. You guys are beginning to make me feel somewhat excited at the thought of a new fur baby. As I mentioned in my earlier post, just when I start feeling somewhat better, something happens that makes me sad again. For example, I have been patiently waiting for the University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary Medicine to provide me with Tinkerbell's ashes and my vet with the written report. I called the business office today (since they are the ones who charged me $525 for the necropsy and cremation) and they did not have my paperwork and were not able to provide me with a response. That made me very angry because here I am trying to get some closure, and the red tape is just aggravating. Anyway, I will take your advice about allowing myself to love another baby. Somewhere deep down in my heart I know you are right. Thank you for your love and support.

Mia

Thanks for your message. I think you are right, deep down I know I have to allow myself the opportunity to open my heart to another yorkie baby. I am so scared though...almost as if something might happen to the new baby. I know, sounds crazy. I just can't get the image of Tinkerbell dying in my arms out of my head. I know only time will heal. It's just taking so damn long! But I do appreciate this forum...it has helped me tremendously. I know the Milltown area, I lived in Somerset years ago. I now live in Edgewater Park which is in Burlington County.

Mia

Yes it does help, thank you. And so sorry about the loss of your baby. Funny, I asked my 3 year old Taylor if she wanted to get another puppy and she said no, that she wanted to go get Tinkerbell back from heaven. But, for xmas my husband got her a stuffed yorkie in a travel bag (so she could practice petting and holding Tinkerbell) and how she has been taking her stuffed yorkie everywhere with her - in the car, to school, etc. And, she renamed it Tinkerbell. I guess that is normal? Maybe that is her way of dealing with the loss.

Mia

Thank you so much - your kind words are very special to me. I loved that yorkie with a passion! I am trying to heal as fast as I can. It's just so hard, but people like you are definitely comforting.

Mia

I know you went through an agonizing time also. And thank you for understanding. Thank you for the website - I read it and it was wonderful. Lots of great information which will help me explain Tinkerbell's death to my daughters. Thank you so much. You have said enough...your kind words and prayers mean more than you'll ever know. My thoughts and prayers are with you also.

Hugs,
Mia