keylee 7/1/08-10/12/09 I will miss up! - YorkieTalk.com Forums

julietimothy · 10-12-2009, 07:58 AM

I lost my baby today. I raise yorkies and maltese and keylee was born on july 1,08. She was very tiny, she was growing so slow at 1st I thought she would be around 3lb grown, then when the litter was old enough to place in new homes, keylee just was not big enough. At that time the weight charts said she would be aroun 2.5 lb the later she was growning so slow it would say 2lbs. Well I kept her, did not trust anyone with her. She ended up being 1.5lbs and only 5" tall. She was like a puppy that never grow up. She was healthy but did not like dog food, so I would fix her chicken and rice. If she did not eat good her surgar would go down. I have had many sleepless nights taking care of her, if she was having a bad day. I was always able to help, but today the kids did not have school and I went back to sleep. I rolled back over around 8am could not believe I slept that long. I got up to let the dogs out said to potty, but when I got to keylee she did not move. My 1st thought is her surgar is low I will do what I always do. But not this time, I was to late. If I had only got up on time I could have saved her. The pain I have been feeling and the hate for myself is over come me. I feel I let her down when she needed me. My head hurts from crying so much, and I can't stop.

I have not been on yorkie talk in a long time but need to just get it out. I called my husband as soon as I saw her. I needed him so bad, he has always been there for me, but he wasn't this time. The 1st thing he said was are you get getting up. As bad as I was already feeling and beating myself up I did not need that from him. He just was not there in the way I needed him to be. Would love to call me best friend, mom, someone but everyone is at work.

Keylee no one will ever be able to take your place, you will be in my heart forever. We only had a year together but I cann't remember when you wasn't here. You was the last thing I thought about going to bed and always the frist thing I thought about when I got up. I am so sorry I let you down. I am sorry I was not with you, If it had to be your time I guess God knew I could not take seeing you go, so he wanted me to sleep though it. Even thinking the way my mom taught me, you may not understand and want to question, God knew what was best. It still dont help the pain I feel. Prayers are needed from everyone, because I can't stop crying.

Sorry if the english and spelling is not great today, I just can't think straight. It hurts so bad!

Thanks for reading and the prayers,
Julie

YorkieMax82 · 10-12-2009, 08:02 AM

I am so sorry for the loss of your baby

Yorkiedaze · 10-12-2009, 08:08 AM

I'm so sorry! I know exactly how you feel. I lost my tiny 2 pound Chihuahua two years ago. We had her 16 years.
Please don't feel in anyway that it's your fault. She was not a healthy baby. She managed to be with you as long as her tiny body could endure. She was loved more than most.

luvfla · 10-12-2009, 08:35 AM

I'm so sorry you lost your sweet baby girl. I agree with you...God wanted her to play in his gardens & let you sleep. She is now perfect & whole...RIP.

Lexi Rae · 10-12-2009, 09:32 AM

you have me in tears, im so sorry sweetie, please do not blame yourself.
you baby is a peace now and no more pain.. may god help you
heal your broken heart.. we are all here for you .. please take care of
yourself..

cynsir · 10-12-2009, 10:26 AM

I am so sorry for you. I know how horrible it is to lose one of those little ones. My Max as only 1 lb 9 oz when he died. I think that the smaller ones need so much attention that they just let go at some point. Like it was hard for them to be here. Now your pup and mine are up at the rainbow bridge feeling healthy and whole, running around and waiting to see you someday. Please accept my condolences and quit blaming yourself.

Patti · 10-12-2009, 12:19 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. SHe may have had an underlying condition that took her and no matter if you had woke earlier she may have been on her way to the Rainbow Bridge.

lrichardsonrnc · 10-12-2009, 12:50 PM

The question is not "why didn't you wake up and feed her"? But "what an incredible mommy you must be to have kept her alive for a whole year". Your dedication is beyond question. When I was reading your story, I kept thinking.....if I was a little, tiny, fragile, baby doll of a dog.....I would want this selfless person as a loving care giver. You can't ask more of yourself than is humanly possible, you gave your best....and when your best is not enough....it was meant to be. Try not to be too hard on your hubby. Your were so very close to your Keylee and he went to work everyday. He loves you and wants to see you get the rest you need. I'm so sorry for your loss. It was heart breaking and you go ahead and cry as much as you need to. Your baby was blessed to have you.

kfrazer42 · 10-12-2009, 12:57 PM

Now I'm crying! I am sooooo sorry! These things happen. I know I would feel the same as you, but try and find it in yourself somehow to not blame yourself. There is no sense in it! I am sorry again! I can only imagine!!! Will keep you and Keylee in my thoughts!!

Yorkiekids · 10-12-2009, 01:02 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Little Bit · 10-12-2009, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lrichardsonrnc

The question is not "why didn't you wake up and feed her"? But "what an incredible mommy you must be to have kept her alive for a whole year". Your dedication is beyond question. When I was reading your story, I kept thinking.....if I was a little, tiny, fragile, baby doll of a dog.....I would want this selfless person as a loving care giver. You can't ask more of yourself than is humanly possible, you gave your best....and when your best is not enough....it was meant to be. Try not to be too hard on your hubby. Your were so very close to your Keylee and he went to work everyday. He loves you and wants to see you get the rest you need. I'm so sorry for your loss. It was heart breaking and you go ahead and cry as much as you need to. Your baby was blessed to have you.

My thoughts exactly! She would not have lived that long if not for you. Please don't blame yourself. She had a good life, thanks to you. She knew she was loved. I am so sorry for the pain you are going through, but please do not add to it by blaming yourself.

Hugs,

Nancy

itzzbarb · 10-12-2009, 03:08 PM

I am so very sorry you lost your little one. It was time for her little body to rest. Please do not blame yourself, you were a very giving, loving and caring person. The baby could not have asked for a better mommy. Please allow yourself some peace.

Sunnie · 10-12-2009, 03:15 PM

aww honey I am so sorry. Please do not blame yourself. I don't know if this will help you or not, but I just lost my baby Sunnie a couple of months ago. He was a wonderful loving 5 year old boy and he is the sweetest thing ever. I just know he is in Rainbow Bridge just waiting to comfort and take care of a baby just like yours.

halandshawnie · 10-13-2009, 10:41 AM

I am so sorry, I feel terrible for you, but if God decided it was time to call her back home

there is nothing you could have done. Just count yourself blessed that he allowed you to borrow one of his precious angels for so long. You were a great mommy to her while he let you be one, don't ever doubt that.

ARCHIE · 10-13-2009, 10:48 AM

Please don't blame yourself. Your went the distance giving your sweet
girl life for over a year. I know it must hurt like crazy thinking your could
have helped her but I believe God wanted a baby girl for himself and
choose her for his very own so there was nothing you could have done
to prevent her leaving.
Know she's happy and healthy once again at Rainbow Bridge
and will always remember the loving care you gave to her.

Hugs,

10-12-2009, 07:58 AM	#1
julietimothy YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Frisco City AL Posts: 325 Blog Entries: 1	keylee 7/1/08-10/12/09 I will miss up! I lost my baby today. I raise yorkies and maltese and keylee was born on july 1,08. She was very tiny, she was growing so slow at 1st I thought she would be around 3lb grown, then when the litter was old enough to place in new homes, keylee just was not big enough. At that time the weight charts said she would be aroun 2.5 lb the later she was growning so slow it would say 2lbs. Well I kept her, did not trust anyone with her. She ended up being 1.5lbs and only 5" tall. She was like a puppy that never grow up. She was healthy but did not like dog food, so I would fix her chicken and rice. If she did not eat good her surgar would go down. I have had many sleepless nights taking care of her, if she was having a bad day. I was always able to help, but today the kids did not have school and I went back to sleep. I rolled back over around 8am could not believe I slept that long. I got up to let the dogs out said to potty, but when I got to keylee she did not move. My 1st thought is her surgar is low I will do what I always do. But not this time, I was to late. If I had only got up on time I could have saved her. The pain I have been feeling and the hate for myself is over come me. I feel I let her down when she needed me. My head hurts from crying so much, and I can't stop. I have not been on yorkie talk in a long time but need to just get it out. I called my husband as soon as I saw her. I needed him so bad, he has always been there for me, but he wasn't this time. The 1st thing he said was are you get getting up. As bad as I was already feeling and beating myself up I did not need that from him. He just was not there in the way I needed him to be. Would love to call me best friend, mom, someone but everyone is at work. Keylee no one will ever be able to take your place, you will be in my heart forever. We only had a year together but I cann't remember when you wasn't here. You was the last thing I thought about going to bed and always the frist thing I thought about when I got up. I am so sorry I let you down. I am sorry I was not with you, If it had to be your time I guess God knew I could not take seeing you go, so he wanted me to sleep though it. Even thinking the way my mom taught me, you may not understand and want to question, God knew what was best. It still dont help the pain I feel. Prayers are needed from everyone, because I can't stop crying. Sorry if the english and spelling is not great today, I just can't think straight. It hurts so bad! Thanks for reading and the prayers, Julie

10-12-2009, 08:02 AM	#2
YorkieMax82 Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: West Virginia Posts: 783	I am so sorry for the loss of your baby __________________ - Melissa Blessed with five wonderful yorkies!

10-12-2009, 08:08 AM	#3
Yorkiedaze My hairy-legged girls Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: lompoc, ca. Posts: 12,228	I'm so sorry! I know exactly how you feel. I lost my tiny 2 pound Chihuahua two years ago. We had her 16 years. Please don't feel in anyway that it's your fault. She was not a healthy baby. She managed to be with you as long as her tiny body could endure. She was loved more than most. __________________ AZRAEL RAZAEL JILLI ANN

10-12-2009, 09:32 AM	#5
Lexi Rae Gina, (Lexi's Mommy) Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: LONG ISLAND,NY Posts: 10,455	you have me in tears, im so sorry sweetie, please do not blame yourself. you baby is a peace now and no more pain.. may god help you heal your broken heart.. we are all here for you .. please take care of yourself.. __________________ Gina & Lexi CLICK HERE for our Photo Album ...

10-12-2009, 10:26 AM	#6
cynsir The 3 Musketeers Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cloquet, MN Posts: 738 Blog Entries: 1	I am so sorry for you. I know how horrible it is to lose one of those little ones. My Max as only 1 lb 9 oz when he died. I think that the smaller ones need so much attention that they just let go at some point. Like it was hard for them to be here. Now your pup and mine are up at the rainbow bridge feeling healthy and whole, running around and waiting to see you someday. Please accept my condolences and quit blaming yourself. __________________ Cindy and Misty and Mazie and Cassie Max (3/31/08 - 6/1/09)

10-12-2009, 08:35 AM	#4
luvfla YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Satellite Beach, FL Posts: 3,691	I'm so sorry you lost your sweet baby girl. I agree with you...God wanted her to play in his gardens & let you sleep. She is now perfect & whole...RIP.

10-12-2009, 12:19 PM	#7
Patti Donating YT 30K Club Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Illinois Posts: 35,509 Blog Entries: 6	I am so sorry for your loss. SHe may have had an underlying condition that took her and no matter if you had woke earlier she may have been on her way to the Rainbow Bridge. __________________ Cali Pixie Roxie : RIP Nikki; RIP Maya;RIP my sweet Dixie girl 1/17/08 http://callipuppyscastle.bravehost.com/index.html

10-12-2009, 12:50 PM	#8
lrichardsonrnc Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: May 2009 Location: austin, texas USA Posts: 303 Blog Entries: 1	The question is not "why didn't you wake up and feed her"? But "what an incredible mommy you must be to have kept her alive for a whole year". Your dedication is beyond question. When I was reading your story, I kept thinking.....if I was a little, tiny, fragile, baby doll of a dog.....I would want this selfless person as a loving care giver. You can't ask more of yourself than is humanly possible, you gave your best....and when your best is not enough....it was meant to be. Try not to be too hard on your hubby. Your were so very close to your Keylee and he went to work everyday. He loves you and wants to see you get the rest you need. I'm so sorry for your loss. It was heart breaking and you go ahead and cry as much as you need to. Your baby was blessed to have you.

10-12-2009, 12:57 PM	#9
kfrazer42 Yorkie Yakker Join Date: May 2009 Location: Little Rock, AR Posts: 66	Now I'm crying! I am sooooo sorry! These things happen. I know I would feel the same as you, but try and find it in yourself somehow to not blame yourself. There is no sense in it! I am sorry again! I can only imagine!!! Will keep you and Keylee in my thoughts!! __________________ Kristen & Miley

10-12-2009, 01:02 PM	#10
Yorkiekids Piper & Sebastian Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: florida Posts: 14,495	I'm so sorry for your loss. __________________ Susan, Piper ,Harley & Suiki

10-12-2009, 03:08 PM	#12
itzzbarb YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 553	I am so very sorry you lost your little one. It was time for her little body to rest. Please do not blame yourself, you were a very giving, loving and caring person. The baby could not have asked for a better mommy. Please allow yourself some peace. __________________ Andy Jillie

10-12-2009, 03:15 PM	#13
Sunnie Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: So. California Posts: 4,057	aww honey I am so sorry. Please do not blame yourself. I don't know if this will help you or not, but I just lost my baby Sunnie a couple of months ago. He was a wonderful loving 5 year old boy and he is the sweetest thing ever. I just know he is in Rainbow Bridge just waiting to comfort and take care of a baby just like yours. __________________ Sonya, Owned by Ladybug, Tilly, Sunshine, Beamer, Rainbow, Sonny and Righteous RIP Sunnie (11/12/2003-7/31/2009)

10-13-2009, 10:41 AM	#14
halandshawnie Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Sterling Hgts, MI Posts: 144	I am so sorry, I feel terrible for you, but if God decided it was time to call her back home there is *nothing* you could have done. Just count yourself blessed that he allowed you to borrow one of his precious angels for so long. You were a great mommy to her while he let you be one, don't ever doubt that. __________________ Shawnie New Mommy to Bella Boo Proud member of the CrAzYcLuB

10-13-2009, 10:48 AM	#15
ARCHIE No Longer A Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: NEW YORK Posts: 16,218	Please don't blame yourself. Your went the distance giving your sweet girl life for over a year. I know it must hurt like crazy thinking your could have helped her but I believe God wanted a baby girl for himself and choose her for his very own so there was nothing you could have done to prevent her leaving. Know she's happy and healthy once again at Rainbow Bridge and will always remember the loving care you gave to her. Hugs,