I lost my baby today. I raise yorkies and maltese and keylee was born on july 1,08. She was very tiny, she was growing so slow at 1st I thought she would be around 3lb grown, then when the litter was old enough to place in new homes, keylee just was not big enough. At that time the weight charts said she would be aroun 2.5 lb the later she was growning so slow it would say 2lbs. Well I kept her, did not trust anyone with her. She ended up being 1.5lbs and only 5" tall. She was like a puppy that never grow up. She was healthy but did not like dog food, so I would fix her chicken and rice. If she did not eat good her surgar would go down. I have had many sleepless nights taking care of her, if she was having a bad day. I was always able to help, but today the kids did not have school and I went back to sleep. I rolled back over around 8am could not believe I slept that long. I got up to let the dogs out said to potty, but when I got to keylee she did not move. My 1st thought is her surgar is low I will do what I always do. But not this time, I was to late. If I had only got up on time I could have saved her. The pain I have been feeling and the hate for myself is over come me. I feel I let her down when she needed me. My head hurts from crying so much, and I can't stop.
I have not been on yorkie talk in a long time but need to just get it out. I called my husband as soon as I saw her. I needed him so bad, he has always been there for me, but he wasn't this time. The 1st thing he said was are you get getting up. As bad as I was already feeling and beating myself up I did not need that from him. He just was not there in the way I needed him to be. Would love to call me best friend, mom, someone but everyone is at work.
Keylee no one will ever be able to take your place, you will be in my heart forever. We only had a year together but I cann't remember when you wasn't here. You was the last thing I thought about going to bed and always the frist thing I thought about when I got up. I am so sorry I let you down. I am sorry I was not with you, If it had to be your time I guess God knew I could not take seeing you go, so he wanted me to sleep though it. Even thinking the way my mom taught me, you may not understand and want to question, God knew what was best. It still dont help the pain I feel. Prayers are needed from everyone, because I can't stop crying.
Sorry if the english and spelling is not great today, I just can't think straight. It hurts so bad!
Thanks for reading and the prayers,
Julie