Need advice
 

I have a friend that i've known since i was about 9 yrs old and we are very close but their is a problem. She bought her first yorkie January and she left him with me for a week and i noticed he was a little sick so i told her to pick him up and take him to the vet, Okay she never did it took her another week to take him :( he was aboyt 4 months at that time. she would bring him by every weekend and i got to be pretty attached to him so my husband bought Zoey :D ok let me get to the point :D she moved away so she comes over every 2 weeks and she came over with her puppy zoey and i were so happy to see him lol. but now he is 8 months and i noticed when i called him he was shaking and when i picked him up he peed on me lol so i went to just touch his little head and he flinched i looked at her and iaskd her do you hit him and she just looked and me and and said how can you tell. I told her hello you can tell because he lookes scared and when you call him he goes and hides :( she did tell me she does hit him because he likes to pee on her bed and all over her new apartment okay so i had a long talk with her but as the day went he was playing with zoey and he did pee on my rug, i ran to clean uo the pee. when i come back in the living room she is calling him and picks up my sons shoe and threw the shoe at him she hit him right in the face, my tears came down my face and i just yelled at her and picked him up :( i told her if she didn't want the responsibilities of taking care of a dog why did she get one :( so she grabed the pup and stormed out my house. Her husband called me and asked me if i wanted the puppy i told him i'll take him in a heart beat :D so he is thinking of giving him to me but now she wont talk to me. But she has to understand i dont treat my little zoey that way. i love zoey to death :D and it hurt me to see how she was treating her dog . Her husband told me to call her but i dont know what to say, i feel like what ever i say wont matter. Any advice would really help. Thank you. and im so sorry this is so long i just had to vent...

It's like when you critsize someone's parenting... no matter how delicately you put it, you're gonna piss them off. Especially if it's true!

That is so sad for that poor little dog. Some people get them and don't really have the patience for them, but they find out too late. Hopefully her husband will give you the dog. I don't know if there is anything you can say that will make her not mad at you. If she is a close friend, then I would call her and say you are sorry she got mad, but not only are there laws against animal cruelty, it breaks your heart to see a dog treated that way. Someone had to stick up for that baby! You can tell her that you understand that she was offended, but that you felt it was important that she know what she was doing was not right.

*hugs* that's a sorry situation to have to be in!

Wow...this is terrible. She might have been a good friend, but she shouldn't have a dog (or children!) if she can't handle the responsiblity. I feel so bad for that puppy. He does not deserve that.

I suggest calling your friend and tell her that you might have reacted in a way that made her angry. However, you should tell her how much you love that puppy and it bothered you to see him hit. You might also want to mention that the poor dog might be making such mistakes because of the way he is treated. Does she ever reward him if he does go potty in the right place? If he is not potty trained and is making that many mistakes...it is not his fault. The owner has a responsiblity. If you are willing, why don't you recommend that little Zoey stay with you, you will train him and take care of him. Perhaps you can take him until she is "ready" or offer to buy it from her if she is not really happy with the dog.

Please keep me updated. I feel terrible about this situation. Poor Zoey.

:eek:

whoa, that is wrong.. the shoe that she threw at him is probably his size.. i get so mad at my little Wookie for peeing on the carpet... but he is just a baby, he doesnt know what hes doing, besides, what ever he does in mistakes, he makes it up by being so freaking adorable!!... you need to tell her to think of him like a baby.. puppies arn't born knowing where to pee.
her husband is doing the right thing.. maybe you should talk to the husband. That definately sounds like a tough situation.
a friend of mine rescued a dog from the pound that had been abused, and its sooo sad the way they act, because you can definately tell.
I hope it all works out.

I totally understand your feelings in regard to what happened.
I can't even imagine going through and witnessing that. If you
talked to her husband and he said to call her I think maybe you
should. I think she never estimated the love and patience that
is involved with raising a healthy puppy. Try to get to the bottom
of her feelings of why she thinks hitting is going to help the
problems and not make them worse. You will need to be gentle
and understanding in your talk with her and then offer if it is
too much for her to handle to take him but make it seem like
you are trying to help her out because you know she is not a
bad person and that she wants the best for this little guy.
If Teddy so much as wimpers I am there in a split second I
can not imagine raising my hand to hit him or throwing something
at him. Please try and talk to her though because this little
guy needs you and the love you have to offer.

Thank you all so much. I do feel bad for yelling at her but i was a reaction, i never thought anyone could hit a puppy like that. That day she told me that my dog zoey is too spoiled and she wasn't going to spoil her pup because then he wont listen to her. i told he wont listen to you if you hit him, just to be patient with him. But i am going to call her today. and again thank you..

I was crying as I read about this story. I get mad at my little Coco, and a light thump on the nose is all she gets, and that's only if she bites me really hard. They are so cute and loving how could anyone treat them like that. The shoe IS his size. But she may be a terrible mother, but you have to nurture your relationship if you want to keep it. I have studied psychology for a long time, so here's the type of conversation I would have with her. Keep in mind that even though some of this stuff may not be your TRUE feelings, you want to be gentle for now and later you can have a more serious conversation.
"Hey, how are you? I'm so sorry for overreacting to the situation. Please don't think that I was trying to be attacking or trying to say anything bad about you. I just love that little guy and it breaks my heart to see him scared. I just reacted emotionally without talking to you about your feelings and anxieties. I would be more than happy to help you with training him, or even adopting him. Whatever you want help with. I just want to see everyone happy, and neither of you are right now. I just want to help, so please let me. Trust me, the more you learn about their behavior (I can help) the more patience you will build. Trust me I know how frustrating it is to have them go everywhere. But he's not doing it to make you angry, he just doesn't know. But if you praise him, he will learn faster and he won't be scared. He loves you, and I know you love him. But if you need ANY help with him at all please let me know, and I don't want to lost your friendship."

Oh....just reading this breaks my heart. Definately keep following up until you know the puppy is safe. You may not be able to salvage the relationship, but you can try and work it out by letter her know you are just wanting what is right for the puppy. Hang in there. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and that puppy.
Keep us all posted!
Joanne and Tini

I think I would call my friend and apologize. Then suggest that Yorkies are a little hard to train, and that if she wanted you to take him and work with him, you would do that for her. Maybe she just doesn't have the time or patience to train him herself. And maybe she will decide she doesn't really want a dog once he is gone, and she could just be his wonderful aunt and bring him presents. Salvage a friendship and save a dog. Win - win ??

Thank you. i will keep you all posted im calling her in a little while. i know she doesn't have the patience to train him, i went and bought a steamer as soon as i got zoey because i know they do have accidents, zoey has had many in the past. i told her when her dog pees on the rug just take him to his pee pad he'll eventually get it he is still young.and another thing that poor thing was dirty i passed a rag on him and brushed his coat.

I would suggest dealing with the husband. Since things are so touchy between you and her right now, the husband would be the best route. I really do hope you get the baby. I have a rescued animal. He was beaten so bad and starved, that his hair starting falling out. Took months to be able just to get near him. I've had him now for 4 years, and he is the most loving, beautiful animal I have ever seen. Hopefully you will be able to get this baby befor permanent damage is done. Please keep us posted.

This is such a horrible situation. These pups are so small and nervous as it is, what with all of us tripping over them or accidentaly stepping...but to hit an animal, that is so sad. Clearly your friend has issues she needs to resolve. I hope that you can get this little pup into your home and show him some love and attention. Good Luck.

I hope all goes well with your conversation, at the very least I hope she lets you help with the training, but I'm hoping she just gives him to you. Poor little guy.

It's amazing how well you think you know someone until one day......
My advise is to take the puppy if the husband offers it, and back away from your friend for a while. What she did, not to mention the condition she's leaving the dog in, is bordering on abuse. She is in the wrong--not you. If she can't take some constructive criticism from someone she's known for so long, then maybe she's not such a great friend after all. This might sound harsh, but in the same situation, I would be more concerned about the puppy than the friendship. She is responsible for her behavior and actions--you don't have to make excuses for her. Your reaction was justified. This goes against what some other people are saying, but it's just my opinion.

Good luck, and please keep us posted! :)

I probably would have reacted the smae as you. I bet if you call her and just tell her first off throwing a shoe at her puppy could kill it, and second you could probably tell her by hitting the puppy she is only going to make things worse. The poor puppy is probably peeing all over due to submissive behavior. I hope you are able to get thru to her and hopefully she gives you the puppy to keep. Good luck and keep us posted on what happens.

This just makes me want to cry! I don't even have any good advice because this makes me angry! I know that you will make all the best choices! I could never hurt my baby! We don't hurt those that we love, right? Good luck to you and I am going to say an extra prayer for that poor puppy!

You took the words right out of my mouth!

I know that you have been friends for a very long time, but people change. I am so passionate about animals that I don't know what I would have done if someone that I thought was my friend hit their pet! You controlled yourslef so much better than I would have and I commend you for that.... This is totally just me, but I don't care how long I had known someone, if they were capable of hitting an animal, any animal, I would have to think that this is not someone that I could trust. I don't trust people that hit animals. Period. Friendhips are based on trust. I think what she is doing is abuse... first she didnt take him to the vet and now she hits him? Grrrr!

Oh no! :eek: That is the saddest thing! Im so sorry! :(

Well i called her at 10pm and she was still upset with me. i asked her how the puppy was doing and she told me he was still a pain in the a** :mad: but i let that comment go. but i did tell her i will help her if she wanted me too and she flat out and told me well what the h*** why don\'t you take him. i told her i\'ll take him. then she told me i was wrong for yelling at her and telling her what to do. i did apologize for yelling at her but i didn\'t tell her what to do i just told her how i felt. so now she was saying she don\'t know if she wants him so she will let me know. i even told her to try to train him she told me she has no time but she is going to try. she told me she just has a lot on her mind right now, so i told her to take it easy and just take it day by day. But she said she is going to talk to her husband to see what they are both going to do. so i guess i\'ll have to wait and see.. but i\'ll keep you all posted..

I really feel like that poor dog doesnt want to be with her...i can\'t believe she would treat her dog that way! Obviously she doesn\'t love it or care about it enough...if shes going to abuse the poor thing. Your story makes me want to cry! I hope you get the dog, even if she changes her ways..that poor dog is scared for life! :(

That poor puppy! :( I hope that you will work things out with your friend and that you can have the pup. And to hit the dog in the head? I\'m sorry but their little heads don\'t have a lot of scull to protect their brains. She could cause some serious brain damage and that\'s dam* right WRONG!!!

You are a good friend but a bit of advice don\'t put her poor hubby in the middle of your arugement. It will only make things worse. Hopefully she will give you the dog. Throwing things at him is not the answer.

PLEASE, take the puppy!!!! If you can\'t keep it, I\'m sure someone else can. It deserves to be loved and spoiled not fearful!!!!!

You are a good friend but a bit of advice don\'t put her poor hubby in the middle of your arugement. It will only make things worse. Hopefully she will give you the dog. Throwing things at him is not the answer.

I think you did the right thing, if someone hit a dog in front of me I would have had the same reaction, although probably would not have been able to keep my cool as well as you did! I don\'t understand why people get dogs if they aren\'t going to love them like family?? :(

I just read your post and I just covered my mouth with both hands OMG. You deffinately did the right thing! Dear Lord if anyone did that to one of my dogs I\'d split their front lip open. That got me so upset! I think she might probably get pissed off when you try to explain that what she is doing is wrong. I would probably sit down and type a very long and loving letter and let her know that maybe you could take the dog and she can still visit. No bad feelings.
It\'s very ,very hard once a dog pees when you call them.It can take months but the dog will come around and be one of the most loving pets you\'d ever have. One of the main reasons why pets pee everywhere is because they have never been trained in one room.You cant expect a dog to walk through several rooms and know that the pee pad is 700 feet away! I\'m sorry for flipping out but I love mydogs so much. Just thinking of someone hitting them with a shoe, Iwould totally lose it...

Genie

Don\'t give this girl time to think!!! If you are in a position to take the dog and she will give it to you, go over tomorrow and pick him up!!!!! You will give this doggie the love and comfort he needs. I\'ve been thinking about you all evening, I even talked about this with a friend tonight and she said "well I\'ll take the doggie if they don\'t want him" I hope you can resolve this situation and I hope your friend can get the help she needs. Even though I feel awful for this pup, I feel bad that your friend is resorting to hurting another living being. Hopeflly she can get some help and this could be a learning experience for her. let us all know what happens...

I didn\'t put her husband in it, he called me after she told him what had happend. he told me he knew something was wrong because we didn\'t call each other, we use to talk on the phone at least 2 times a day. but i did explain to him what really happened because he asked my side of it and he was upset. he told me he noticed she was being mean to the dog but he didn\'t want to tell her anything.

That is so sad, I feel so bad for her little puppy. I really hope she calls you soon and tells you, you can have him. Please keep us posted, I\'ll keep my fingers crossed :thumbup:

I would do anything to get that puppy. I would not worry to much about her feelings. Some people should just not have kids or animals.

Sue