I am in serious need of advice here...

[pepe mint]

Originally Posted by Nancy1999

You say:

This is his way of bonding with the animals; giving them food. You should be happy he loves your pet. Don't raise your pets so that your friends will think they are the best pets ever.

and...this is not his way of bonding. trust me. you dont know him, I do. this is just his way of getting rex to stop barking. period. he has told me that numerous times!!!

and what is wrong with raising your pets to be social, well behaved animals that are loved by all??? I just dont get what you are trying to say here.

[I Love Bailey]

I read over posts and don't feel anybody was putting you down or analyzing your marriage. Most just said they didn't see anything wrong with giving the occasional treat or everyday treats. You did ask for opinions...
Have you thought about some dog training classes where you all go as a family? Your husband may get a different opinion of rewarding behaviors and find a more positive reinforcement for behaviors?

Good Luck..

[pepe mint]

Originally Posted by I Love Bailey

I read over posts and don't feel anybody was putting you down or analyzing your marriage. Most just said they didn't see anything wrong with giving the occasional treat or everyday treats. You did ask for opinions...
Have you thought about some dog training classes where you all go as a family? Your husband may get a different opinion of rewarding behaviors and find a more positive reinforcement for behaviors?

Good Luck..

yes, i have thought about it and that is most likely what we will do. i believe that will ensure we are all on the same page.

good advice, i appreciate it.

[Angela]

Well, maybe it really IS easier for him to give the treats and in today's world anything that can help ruduce your stress I say go for it as long as its legal and moral.

His dog is 10, that's pretty old to want to re train a dog ( yes I know you can teach an old dog new tricks ) I mean really what is it hurting? Just tell him to leave your alone.

Angie

[Potter]

I am not trying to stir anything here. Just a thought that came in to my mind..Cockers and Min Pins are two totally different breeds hence they have different sets of attitude. In general (I am not saying all just in general) most Cockers are submissive and people-orientated but most Min Pins are in general bossy and loves to bark and are very sensitive to little noises and will spark them off barking. If a treat can keep him quiet, why not? If he is overweight, make him run more and peace to all.

[pepe mint]

I do agree with both of you. please know that I am not wanting to ask him to stop giving his dog treats. I choose not to give them to him, but I know he will continue to. that is his choice. my problem is that I dont' want him giving my cocker and yorkie treats the way he does to his dog. hence the conflict...and confusion as to how to achieve this. I do not want to change my husbands dog...you are right, he is 10 years old. I will say this..I have taught the dog a lot since I have shared a home with him. I have potty trained him and taught him that it is ok to bark when someone rings the doorbell, but once you sniff them out and know that they are ok, then the barking is not necessary. however...barking at me because he wants a treat is not acceptable. he doesn't bark at me because he knows I will not give in. he barks at my hubby, because he knows jim will give in. he barks at people that dog sit...because he thinks it will get him a treat.

my ONLY desire here is that he does not give daisy and maggie treats every time they go out. that's it. i'm not trying to change anyone, just trying to have daisy staying on the same schedule and routine that she has always known, and having maggie trained the way I would like her to be raised. I feel very confident that I can train her without treats. giving her gifts/treats throughout the day but not because of her demanding it or feeling entitled to it.

i really am done arguing my point tho. some of you have given great advice and I truly appreciate it. it is what makes this site such a great place to visit.

please trust that I will do what is right by all of us. this is why i wanted to ask for the advice/suggestions BEFORE talking to him about it. that way it comes out right and not demeaning or bossy or any other way that is not right or acceptable.

[chachi]

I dont think there is anything wrong with your not wanting your Husband to give your dogs treats when they go outside. We havent done that since we were potty training our dogs. Men just seem to have an obsession with giving dogs food though. My Husband is constantly slipping Our dogs table food

[pepe mint]

Originally Posted by chachi

I dont think there is anything wrong with your not wanting your Husband to give your dogs treats when they go outside. We havent done that since we were potty training our dogs. Men just seem to have an obsession with giving dogs food though. My Husband is constantly slipping Our dogs table food

thanks...glad I'm not alone here
I do slip our dogs treats and table food as well. but it is not given because they went outside to potty. nothing wrong with pampering the dog my dogs are very spoiled and quite happy with that

[Angela]

Mandee I don't let mine have treats often, I give a few around Christmas, Easter, etc.... I would be very mad if Shane went behind my back and fed ours. I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I would do I would lock ALL the treats up and nobody would get anything until it was understood that MY dogs were not fed. This Christmas we were at Shane's family home for 7 days and we gave them a yorkie 2 years ago....they spoil her big time and I think its great b/c they are both at peace with the treat/feeding I don't believe in all they give to eat but, it was a GREAT visit as they always asked if they could give mine anything before they ever offered it to them....and just for that reason I let them feed mine because it made them happy to do it and it was only for 7
days :>)
* LoL looks like Jim had a lot of people come to his " rescue" If you ever do get on his case he can always come here....lolol

Angie

[pepe mint]

Originally Posted by Angela

* LoL looks like Jim had a lot of people come to his " rescue" If you ever do get on his case he can always come here....lolol

Angie

LOL Angie... thanks

[Nancy1999]

Originally Posted by pepe mint

Ok, I have never been one to give doggie treats. My cocker, who is 6 years old, never got rewarded with treats. mostly because I could not afford to buy a lot of extra stuff like that when I got her. But it was also because I was told about not having her depend on getting treats every time she went potty or did something I asked her to do, but simply doing it to please me...her master. well. my husband has always been just the opposite. his 10 year old min pin still gets a treat EVERY time he goes outside to use the bathroom. It drives me NUTS because if he goes out and comes back in...and he doesn't get a treat...he whines and barks and goes nuts until he gets one. my hubby ALWAYS gives him one. I don't. EVER. I never ever give him one. I refuse!! at 10 years old, especially, he should not be rewarded for using the bathroom outside...not with treats anyway. a simple praise should suffice for him. he should be doing it because it is the right thing to do...NOT because he wants a treat. I know you guys agree because I have heard it said many times here...and in other chat groups.

anyway..here is my problem. I have asked him not to give Daisy treats. but he still does. I do not want him giving maggie treats when she goes out. the praise is enough. I don't want MY dogs acting the way HIS does. period. but he refuses to change his ways. I would love it if he would just stop with the treats all together but he won't. I just don't know how to talk to him about it. He gets very defensive when I try to tell him what is wrong with his dog. His dog has had issues with being stubborn and bossy since the day I met him. He has always made the rules for Jim, not the other way around. it is just horrible. but when I try to tell Jim that it is because of the way he treats him and has raised him, he gets extremely defensive and then proceeds to tell me the things I do wrong with my daughter. I just feel like it is a losing battle but with having maggie in the house now, I don't want her to end up like Rex. I just don't.

any suggestions as to how I can talk to him about this and actually be effective? I mean, I have mentioned it before but he just doesn't seem to agree. actually, he says he agrees with me, but then as soon as rgex oes outside, he give him a treat when he gets back in. It's like we never had the conversation. I think he just feels it is easier to give him a treat to shut him up than to deal with it the right way.

I'm just tired of it. and want to change it. I have trained Rex so good since we moved in together...the dog was 8 years old and still using the bathroom in the house when left alone...until I came along. now...we haven't had an accident in the house in over a year. he also does not bark at ME anymore. still barks at Jim because Jim gives into him but he knows better than to bark at me.

anyway...what should I do?

This is what made me think you want to change the way Jim treats Rex. Maybe if you let up a little on this, he will not give your dogs treats.

[JeanieK]

Originally Posted by pepe mint

and...this is not his way of bonding. trust me. you dont know him, I do. this is just his way of getting rex to stop barking. period. he has told me that numerous times!!!

and what is wrong with raising your pets to be social, well behaved animals that are loved by all??? I just dont get what you are trying to say here.

I'm sorry you feel that you are being attacked..

I can totally see your point on the issue of creating bad behavior. We have friends that hsve an extremely overweight ShihTzu and the dog barks at them, demanding things constantly. so they feed her to shut her up.

If she were my dog, Well first of all she wouldn't be my dog because I would have nipped it in the bud when it first started. But if it were my dog I would correct the barking and be more concerned with the dogs health.

You didn't explain the overweight issue and the constant demanding in your first post.

[pepe mint]

Originally Posted by JeanieK

You didn't explain the overweight issue and the constant demanding in your first post.

I apologize...there are some details that I did not think of until it was too late. that is my fault. I was not completely clear on my intentions and concerns. I guess I thought it would be a simple question with some simple ideas...that is my fault for not thinking it all the way through.

[pepe mint]

Originally Posted by Nancy1999

This is what made me think you want to change the way Jim treats Rex. Maybe if you let up a little on this, he will not give your dogs treats.

Yes, I do tell him what I think is wrong. when Rex is acting out, I do tell him "I really think we need to do something about this." and there have been times that I have said "the only reason he barks at you for 5 minutes straight when you get home is because you go straight to the treat jar and give him a treat". Jim has agreed with me on this. so yes, I have pointed out things that could be done differently with his dog. just as I would if it involved our child and there was something I think could be done differently. I am a human being and there is nothing wrong with me wanting to change things so that we are not rewarding or encouraging bad behavior. so when I say "I want it to change"...yes...why wouldn't I?? of course I would love change. In a perfect world, I wouldn't have to wish for that.

I am aware that it will probably never change. but a girl can dream. and as for the other 2 dogs? I see no reason why we have to look back 10 years from now and wish we had done something different when we have the same problems we are wanting to correct. with them, we will do it differently. he can continue to do what he wants with rex. I just want it different for these 2.

[Nancy1999]

Originally Posted by pepe mint

Yes, I do tell him what I think is wrong. when Rex is acting out, I do tell him "I really think we need to do something about this." and there have been times that I have said "the only reason he barks at you for 5 minutes straight when you get home is because you go straight to the treat jar and give him a treat". Jim has agreed with me on this. so yes, I have pointed out things that could be done differently with his dog. just as I would if it involved our child and there was something I think could be done differently. I am a human being and there is nothing wrong with me wanting to change things so that we are not rewarding or encouraging bad behavior. so when I say "I want it to change"...yes...why wouldn't I?? of course I would love change. In a perfect world, I wouldn't have to wish for that.

I am aware that it will probably never change. but a girl can dream. and as for the other 2 dogs? I see no reason why we have to look back 10 years from now and wish we had done something different when we have the same problems we are wanting to correct. with them, we will do it differently. he can continue to do what he wants with rex. I just want it different for these 2.

Good reply, I think I understand more of what you are saying, and Jim needs to learn more about rewards. You should never give the dog a treat to stop barking. You are rewarding the barking behavior.

Have you ever tried the can of pennies to stop this? Saying "No" followed by a shake of the can? This also helps train the dog to listen more carefully to the word, "No". It has to be done in the right order to be most effective.

I really don't think it's that bad for Jim to give him a treat when Rex comes in the house, and maybe you could compromise on the type of treat given since Rex is overweight, but the barking issue definitely needs to be addressed. Sorry I added to your frustration.