Okay, Mine is funny to most ,
 

I'm still mortified.

This happened about 16 years ago. I had just given birth to my second child, a beautiful little girl. She was just two weeks old. I also had a 3 year old little boy. My husband had to have ear surgery so I was on my way to the hospital to pick him up.

I got out of the car, and strode up to the front door of the hospital, where there were at least two people standing out side the door. There I paused, and said, "omigosh", and ran back to my van... I had forgotten that I had a tiny baby in the back seat! I had to get her out and pass those same people at the front door....

BAD mom!!!

deb

I got one!
 

I used to work in a prison...there was a con that I kinda felt bad for...he was in for breaking and entering...his wife left him and he tried to committ suicide by jumping off of bridge well....he didn't die but, needed a blood transfusion and contracted HIV...he is also HEP B positive..this guy doesn't have a chance...anyway he was put in Max security because we have an infirmary and he is very ill..I used to see him every morning and just say hi...(I didn't make a habit of talking to the cons) well. he was supposed to have a radio and tv..because he had been transferred from Med security to max they wouldn't let him have it...(he was not in for life) one day while in the shower he tried to hang himself...they got to him before he died...I saw him the next day and asked how he was doing...he told me he was never going to do that again that he was very depressed...I said a few more words to him and turned to leave..as I did I looked at him and told him to "hang in there!" What in Gods name was I thinking!! Although I did laugh as he said...I tired that and it didn't work.

THUD! ROFL........omg.....Ms. Rice....move over...


Francie

AAAHHHHHH!!!!! I am dieing here!!! This story is as bad as my leg story!!!! I know how you feel.... Been there!!!!!:eek:

LOL! Ya I thought the leg thing was pretty funny too!

Hee Hee!!!!!!
 

Okay this one is on my husband.
I am known for always carrying around a cup of tea or coke. That being said. My husband and I went to pick up our car from the Mechanic. We were standing there at the counter talking about what had been done to the car. I look over and see my husband leaning on the counter slurping a way on this huge cup of tea. He is chewing the straw and enjoying himself. Until I informed him "THAT's NOT MY TEA!!!!!" The mechanic just smiles with his four rotten teeth and says "yea, it was mine but you can have it now." HAR HAR :mechanic :lol tears :grin2:

:lol tears Those are so funny....:bravo:

One time my daughter and I were in Wendy's waiting for our food... My daughter started eatting a few fries off the tray while she waited... THey filled the order and it wasn't ours!!! She got a few dirty looks form the people it belonged to!!! OOOOOppppssss!

Caution: Extreme Yuck factor. read at your own discretion
 

I was on my first date with my ex fiance, and we had planned on having a light dinner and then meet up with my best friend for her birthday. we had dinner at a little restaurant that looked clean enough. I have a very sensitive stomach and anything and almost everything can give me the runs (by now, I'm sure all of you can guess what happened next). after dinner, we were on our way to meet up with my friend and as some of you in new york may know, the traffic on the L.I.E is almost always at a stand still. anyway, my stomach started acting up and i was sweating profusely trying to hold it in and the traffic wasn't helping. so i pleaded with him to get off at the next exit and look for a restroom because i had to "pee" real bad (I was 18 and girls didn't burp, fart or do #2 or at least not to the knowledge of boys). When we finally stopped at a Dunkin Donuts, I ran like a race horse to the restroom. 2 feet before the restroom door, I felt my stomach rumble and that's it. I had lost control of my muscles. needless to say, i had to throw out my underwear and clean myself up in the bathroom and go commando the rest of the night. what's worse was when i got out, my boyfriend said he had to use the bathroom. when he came out, he said "wow, the person that was in the bathroom before you stunk up the bathroom real bad!" I chuckled nervously and said "yeah tell me about it. i had to hold my breath the whole time i was in there." I was mortified!!!! We've never spoken about that incident since and we were together for 4 years and from that day on, I ALWAYS pick the restaurants.

I hope that this post doesn't turn me into the girl who everyone refers to as the "poop" girl from YT

foot in mouth disease ...
 

you took the words out of my mouth ...When I was pregnant, I asked a cashier where she got her maternity jumper b/c I could not find a nice one like that .... her answer, "From your lips to G-d's ears" ....

then 10 years later, (after vowing to never do that again), I was looking for ceiling fans. I saw a ceiling fan but the tag was on it and I could not see the price, so this lady said she'd climb on the boxes to see it, Now I thought that was really nice of her, and then (here it comes) ... I said, "Do you think you should be doing that in your condition?"... She said she wasn't pregnant but alwayz had this bump in her tummy.... she was of slight build and from the back, you'd NEVER have known she had that 'bump'.....

I just say NOTHING nowadays ....
{to this day I secretly hoped she did not have a tumor!}
Debbie

I was taught the same thing. My mom always said i should say I want a cup of coffee (which I do not drink even) ... so I had to pee, and i kept saying, "letz stop for a cup of coffee"... well there were no diners... but plenty of gas stations ... I finally said, "I need the bathroom, pull in there" ... Now i just say... I need to pee ...

One time I was at the mall and of course I had to bring my pooch. So he was on his leash and I didn't have a bag with me so I was carrying him. We walk into a clothes store and he must have been holding it for a really long time..all of a sudden my hand is wet? and I see yellow squirting out from under my wrist lol he was peeing all over.

When I was Pregnant with my son I was very sick... (it lasted the whole 9 months!!!) Any way I would spend most of my day throwing up and I looked really bad!
We were living in my grandparents house and it was for sale so the real estate lady called this one day when i was really sick and she said they were on their way!!! I do my best to pick up real fast and never looked in the mirror. When I answered the door, (THey didn't even come in first) the guy says whats wrong with you...do ya work nights??? I was really MAD but I was also embarrassed. I told him that I was pregnant and SICK! I felt like throwing up al over the jerk!!!

Wow! He's just a regular Ambassador there! You poor thing....

Don't worry....I'm sure his wife gave him a tongue lashing when they got home...hahaha


Francie

LMBO!!!!!:eyetearss