Clingy dependent little dogs.......

[SnowWa]

Shoot me -- but I think it is a real mistake to encourage any dog to be dependent and clingy. (This is really done to meet the owner's needs more than the dog's). A well adjusted dog should be both affectionate and independent. It shouldn't suffer separation anxiety and it shouldn't be afraid to be without it's owner whenever this is necessary.

I have always encouraged my loveable, friendly, little puppies to learn to play by themselves and not want to be with me every minute. I have given them opportunites to visit other people. My little Yorkie occasionally even has a sleep over with my grown daughter. She loves having him once in a while and her dog and mine have so much fun whenever they get together. Her dog occasionally stays overnight at my house too.

The first month or so that I had my little pup - I had two neighbors who would come over and ask if he could come out and play. These are single women - and many times they took him to thier house just to enjoy him for a few hours. He'd sleep and eat and play and have a great time. He still loves these women and wants to visit them all the time.

The end result is that he's happy wherever he goes....and certainly doesn't need to be around me every minute of every day. I work - and have to leave him home alone four days a week for 6 hours - and he has never cried when I leave. I know that he plays and eats and sleeps when I gone -- and there is no doubt that he is totally excited and happy when I (or any other person) come back into the house.

One thing that is so nice - is that if I should need to be gone or have to be in the hospital or something for a few days - I know, he'd be having a ball someplace. He is just happy anywhere.

When he was a little pup - a couple times I let him go and stay all night with my sister (whose grandchildren were there) --- and don't think they didn't have fun. We certainly didn't have to worry about them hurting him. He was so playful and go go go - that she had to protect them from him. (This was when he was two or three months old.)

**** I really do deliberately give my puppies opportunities to be without me occasionally and encourage them to be independent. Don't think for a minute this lessens any love my pups feel for me. Instead - it has widened their world and has given them the opportunity to love and enjoy more people and other animals as well.

*** And I think a real bonus is that other people enjoy my dog as much as I do. He's loveable, affectionate, and happy with everyone ---not just me. You can't imagine how many compliments I get about his loveable, happy, friendly nature.
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I think a well adjusted dog leads a much happier and healthier life and can't imagine why anyone would want anything different for their little pet. But, again -- I think this "clingy thing" is the owner's need -- not the dog's. And, I will go a little bit further - even at the risk of upsetting a few people - to add that I think this is a selfish thing to do - this dependence isn't good for your little dogs - and it really makes the world they live in "very small."

****** I have read many times here on Yorkie talk about people wanting their dogs to be "clingy" and "dependent" --- and have read often that many people feel jealous and want their dogs to love only them....and no one else --not even their husbands, children, or boyfriends. I can't understand this at all. It is the very opposite of my own philosophy.

I have been in my office for several hours working - right now my little Yorkie is in the front room by himself - lying on the back of a chair snoozing and watching the world go by. Before long he'll be in here wanting to be held and wanting to play for a while and then he'll sleep at my feet for a while. He comes and goes like this all day. And - if anyone should come by and want him to "come out and play," I know he'd be totally excited to do just that!

Carol Jean

[YORKIE7]

I totally Agree, i wouldn't like to have a really clingy dog, i mean mine are proper mummys babies, but they are very independant and can manage without me.

[chachi]

Having a dependent dog isnt all that bad either. Chachi is independent and Jewels is dependent. When Jewels was a baby I carried her in a sling carrier all the time. She was only 12 oz when she came too me. She is super affectionate and a very extremely loving dog. She is fine and doesnt have separation anxiety issues when I leave. She maybe would if we didnt also have Chachi so I dont know. You can have Jewels off leash anytime any where and she never leaves your side. She truly is a blessing and I wouldnt want her any other way. Call it selfish but i love my dependent dog

[Shanatink]

I think its great that your dog is not dependant on you and that they are well adjusted and to be completely honest, before today I really thought Chloe was a bit more well adjusted too, I knew she was clingy but I really thought she was both. But apparently I was wrong and I did not mean to make her this way. Here is why I think my dogs got the way they are and you can tell me what you think: I work from home(with a doggie related business), all my friends are married and having children and we dont hang out anymore, and so my dogs are my family as well as my lifestyle. I just dont get out of the house much. My husband is very much a "homebody" and wont ever go anywhere. I am also shy and dont usually like doing things outside of the house by myself. Therefore its me, my husband and the 3 dogs in the house 24/7(well the husband works outside the home). I dont mean to spoil them and make them have seperation anxiety it just occured over the years with the way our environment is and our lifestyle. The girls are my life and my focus and I dote alot of attention on them. Ive trained them with simple commands like sit, stay, etc and when they were puppies I would try to take them with me anytime I went anywhere so they could get used to people as this is what I was told to help socialize them. But for some reason the older they got the less comfortable they got outside of the home. My chi is very anti-social and I think its rubbed of on CHloe. I agree that its not wise to purposesly train a dog to be "clingy". But this has happened to me with Chloe and now I am going to try to change it by trying a couple things suggested to me. Until my experience today at the groomer I didnt even realize she was as bad as she is. I knew she loved to be around me, and sicne Ive never left her somewhere before today how was I to know she would freak out and have seperation anxiety? I actually take her out of the house quite a bit, I just dont ever leave her somewhere without me. She just loves me and gets really excited I just figured she was hyper and she may not grow out of that until she is older.
I dont think everyone means to do this to a dog and it naturally occurs before a person can even realize whats happening. And actually at my home my girls play with each other alot, they dont need me all the time. And outside of my home Chloe does fine with other dogs, its people handling her that makes her nervous I guess, she just feels more comfortable with me. I have a small home and 3 indoor dogs, needless to say I dont have alot of people coming over so how is she supposed to get used to strangers and being somewhere without me? How can we possibly give eachother time apart? It was suggested to me to take her to doggy daycare but the closest one to my house is not that close and to be honest it scares the crap out of me to leave Chloe in the care of strangers. How do I knwo they will watch her and take good care of her?

So where did I go wrong as far as raising Chloe?

[chachi]

I dont think you did a thing wrong raising Chloe Shana. I am home all day with mine too and I think that makes a difference in their personalities too.
The more Chloe spends time at the groomers she will adjust and you will be able to get her groomed. I agree maybe you shouldnt urposely try to make your dog dependent but there is nothing wrong with the dependent dog

[Patti]

I also think alot has to do with the indivdual dogs personality. I have had 5 dogs of my own over the years and treated them all the same. They all had differing personalities. One only wanted to be by me, One, my Pom has never liked to be out in the open much, prefers to stay under the bed and never would sleep with me. I just love each one for his/her unique personalities and try to have them comfortable around others but it doesn't always happen. Just like humans some of us are shy and some are outgoing.

[YORKIE7]

I agree with all of your posts too, and of course like humans all dogs have different personalities and characters. I dont agree with people WANTING to make there dogs clingy(not that any of you have).

I also think that its great that our babies love us so much, and like i said mine are mummys little babies, but luckily they do have a dependant streak, which is good and fits into my personal lifestyle

Oh and shana i didnt see your earlier thread, so please dont thik i was being ignorant, poor little chloe, but with her beautiful little face how could you not spoil her rotten! i think we are all guilty of that.

[JESSY_RN2B]

My poodle is very independant.............only time she is clinggy is when she is sick or cuddling with me ;-)

I think that is the healthiest way to raise one.

[SnowWa]

I know dogs have different personalities and temperments....and they are very different from one another. And - it certainly is true that we all live in different environments and provide different environments for our pets.

But, I also know for a fact though that some people want their dogs to be dependent and clingy --- we have had several recent posts stating this, and many people do encourage their dogs to be this way. And, as I said in my earlier post - I also have read many posts with people complaining that their dogs are paying too much attention to other members of the family - and they want their dogs to be "only their dogs and love only them." (This is always especially hard for me to believe.)

I think - given any dog or pet with its own temperment and any environment -we need to just do the best we can -- I just can't understand why anyone would deliberately want their dog to love "only them" or become clingy and dependent upon them. Why would anyone deliberately work to encourage a pet to be this way.

And - then don't you think that a lot of people are causing their dogs to behave this way - without really realizing they are doing it. I think so. So - it's just something to think about.

My first post is really my philosophy. I just wanted to mention here that I do understand different people, different dogs, and different environments, and how each of these plays a part in whatever relationship we have with our pets.

Good luck to everyone!


Carol Jean

[FirstYorkie]

Originally Posted by SnowWa

Shoot me -- but I think it is a real mistake to encourage any dog to be dependent and clingy. A well adjusted dog should be both affectionate and independent. It shouldn't suffer separation anxiety and it shouldn't be afraid to be without it's owner whenever this is necessary.

I couldn't agree more!

And, can I add one thing along these lines that I've wanted to say for a while? Yorkie owners need to be aware that taking their Yorkie places in a carrier does not count as socializing their pup. Carry your pup places if you want to, but don't think that you are giving your dog a chance to meet lots of people this way. It's not the same thing - at all - as your pup meeting new people while standing on his own 4 feet!

There, I feel better for getting that off my chest!

[Shanatink]

Originally Posted by SnowWa

I know dogs have different personalities and temperments....and they are very different from one another. And - it certainly is true that we all live in different environments and provide different environments for our pets.

But, I also know for a fact though that some people want their dogs to be dependent and clingy --- we have had several recent posts stating this, and many people do encourage their dogs to be this way. And, as I said in my earlier post - I also have read many posts with people complaining that their dogs are paying too much attention to other members of the family - and they want their dogs to be "only their dogs and love only them." (This is always especially hard for me to believe.)

I think - given any dog or pet with its own temperment and any environment -we need to just do the best we can -- I just can't understand why anyone would deliberately want their dog to love "only them" or become clingy and dependent upon them. Why would anyone deliberately work to encourage a pet to be this way.

And - then don't you think that a lot of people are causing their dogs to behave this way - without really realizing they are doing it. I think so. So - it's just something to think about.

My first post is really my philosophy. I just wanted to mention here that I do understand different people, different dogs, and different environments, and how each of these plays a part in whatever relationship we have with our pets.

Good luck to everyone!


Carol Jean

I agree, the more I thought about your post the more I understand what you mean. I agree that it is bad to purposely make a dog clingy becasue it is so bad for the dog, dogs need to be strong for themselves. Now I am paying close attention to Chloe and I just want to cry. If anythign ever happened to me I dont think this dog would be able get by. For example I got up early this morning and left Chloe sleeping in bed with my husband. Well about 10 minutes later I can hear chloe crying becasue she wants out of the bedroom and so I let her out and now she is just sleeping in my lap, she just had to be with me

I wish I hadnt made her this dependant on me becasue she isnt happy any other way and she cant function on her own and that is not good for her. Nobody needs to purposely make thier dog this way!!!!

Im going on vacation in 2 months and I dont think she is going to be okay while Im gone and I am already really worried about that..

[Patti]

Maybe you can start trying to get her less dependent on you by your vacation. Both of you will have a better time then. I am trying to get Cali use to liking being around people other than family and it is a slow process but she is improving. Cali isn't real clingy she just doesn't like it when other people are around. Even people she see's fairly regularly. I am having playdates with another yt memeber and her puppy and each time Cali is better with her puppy and will sit on the members lap while I go in and get my food. Good luck!

[MeganS]

I agree! I have 3 dogs, Rusty and Tucker are independant and Maddie is very clingy to me. Though Maddie is still newer, and she seems to have come out of her shell a lot already. So I'm hoping that eventually she'll be more independant too. When it was just Rusty and Tucker, I didn't feel guilty going on vacation with my friends or going to parties or whatever, because I know that they're just as happy with the rest of my family as they are with me. Maddie on the other hand, doesn't have seperation anxiety, but does miss me when I'm gone. which makes me feel kind of guilty for leaving her. I don't know why anyone would want to make their dog clingy and dependant either. Whenever I see a post "my husband stole my yorkie" or whatever. and all it really is is that the dog loves them too, that makes me really sad.