having to choose between my boyfriend and my puppy
 

:cry: :cry: :cry:

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and he was with me when I bought pixie. She was a gift from my family because they were moving and I wanted to have a champanion. At the time me and my boyfriend had just started dating and I just wanted to experience living alone first. I wanted us to get to know eachother better and I always wanted to be at least engaged by the time he moved in.

Now we are plan on a engagement and we have been talking about it. but he hates my puppy. is she still one at a year and 3 months because she chews on everything. So this morning when I woke up to find alex's phone charger chewed up he freaked out. yelling and telling me that he cant live like this and that we are never going to live together because of it. I told him that she chews on things that are every where and to put it in high places and he was like this is no way to live. I was crying so much this morning because he was trying to make me choose and I cant. I love pixie so much and she doesnt know. its so hard being with someone that doesnt love animals as much as i do. I feel so bad for pixie because I can tell that she knows he doesnt like her.

She always barks when he kisses me and it pisses him off. but i tell him its because your not around so much and l give her all my attention when we are alone most of the time and she gets jealous.

I love this man. he is my life and my future. I understand how he feels but I feel like pixie is my baggage and if he cant except her then he doesnt love me. All I know is that im hurt and I wanted to get some advice as to what to tell him to make him realize that he is wrong and that he has to except me and my dog.

Try crating her when she isn't being watched. Or try the x-pen to keep her confined when you aren't able to watch her. That way she isn't chewing things up. Otherwise I say lose the boyfriend. It has been my expereince if they aren't animal lovers they aren't that good to you either. Sorry to be blunt I didn't know how else to say that. I hope it all works out for you. :aimeeyork

JMO, but I feel your right when you say that she is part of your bagagge. Our dogs are our family and someone should never ask you to give your puppy up. He should not make you choose..... Like I said JMO.....

Crystal

This is a tough one! First of all, it doesn't sound like he wants to compete for your attention with Pixie. This situation will not improve with time either. He sounds like he really needs to grow up. Hope that doesn't offend you.

i would never ever ever give my lexi up for anyone... give him up...
obviously he is not an animal lover and never will be... just my opinion..
i know its hard to even have to think about choosing, i cant believe he is
giving you an ultimatum.. whats that about... give him his walking papers if
he dont like it... there is plenty fish in the sea....and to me, if you do keep
the pup he will never love it

Oh wow...this is a hard one. My husband and I have been married for 24 years. Oscar was like Pixie and chewed on everything and it made him mad. He finally chewed his laptop power supply cord and I was afraid that was the last straw. But I started crating Oscar when we were not around him. Even now, if we leave him alone, he is in his crate. Plus, when he chewed on something like that, he was scolded pretty bad...he knew better next time. As far as her barking when he kisses you, she is just saying that you are hers. He will just have to get used to it. Scold her when she does this if you don't want her to bark and she will figure it out. As far as him making you choose, there may be other underlying problems that might have been there before Pixie. In my opinion, Yorkies can be very much like children...they behave the same way sometimes. Were you planning to have children with this man...will this be something he can handle...some will say that you can't compare animals and children but it is something to think about. Marriage is a very give and take situation. You need to be sure and read all the warning flags before you commit to it. I wish you the best, I wish your boyfriend the best and wish little Pixie the best. You have a lot to think about and consider here.

I think maybe boyfriend is a little jealous... :cool:

JMO, but I think that if he can't deal with something like a dog from the get go, you guys are bound for trouble. In a marriage, 2 people have to give and take an accept things about one another that may be different from their own beliefs and experiences. Pixie is part of your life and he doesn't have to adore her, but he needs to accept that this is one of those give and take situations. Besides that, he needs to partially accept responsibility for the phone charger situation...dogs are dogs, some chew on things some don't...some can be broken of it, some can't. If you have a dog that is a chewer, put your crap up so that the dog can't get to it. My husband used to be the world's worst about leaving video game controlers stretched accross the floor. I had a rabbit (that hubby bought me) that had a love for chewing electrical cords and baseboards. About the 3rd time that the rabbit...who was there long before the controlers...chewed through one and he had to replace it at about $30 a pop...he learned to pick them up and accept it.
The way I see it, you shouldn't have to choose him or the dog, he should have to choose you AND the dog, or being alone. Again, this is all just my take on it. :)

I would never give up my animals just because my BF does not like them. My BF now fiancee does not like my cat at all, but he would never tell me to get rid of her. If your BF is acting this way towards a pet, how do you think he would act if you had kids. Kids chew and break things just like a puppy.

We keep Trixie in a gated in area when we can't watch her as well. When you have a dog, I guess you can expect some things to get chewed on. Trixie has chewed through some cords as well and my husband got upset about it. Now, the computer room is off limits to her. So my advice would be to keep her in an area where she can't chew on anything when you or your fiancee can't watch her closely.

Pixie shouldn't be barking though when your fiancee kisses you. If you know the Dog Whisperer, he'd probably tell you that the dog is your leader and you should be your dog's leader.

I hate to sound like this - but what is he going to do when or IF you ever have kids ? IF he didn't want something chewed on - then he needs to put it out of her reach....

I feel for you - but I would really think about his personality... if a dog can be this upsetting...then how is he going to handle WORSE problems?

A little dog who chews is a MINOR problem in the larger scope of our lives.....That can be remedied by just keeping things out of reach...and if he doesn't have feelings for her now - then in MY opinion...he probably never will. How sad for you....If he really loved you - he would love your dog....or at least accept her.

He shouldn't be MAKING you choose....how immature..... I would have no problem making my mind up

i posted about something similar recently
 

and i still havent really figured it out
i can tell you i see the bf less... i think it says alot about a person on how they are with animals...
gl i wish i had good advise for ya but i'm in a similar boat!

I admire you for coming here for advice not knowing what you would receive in return. Because all of us here at YT are Yorkie lovers (and any animal lover), all of the advice is going to lean towards keeping Pixie. My advice is no different than the others. Think of it this way....if he's asking (or demanding) that she goes or he goes, what's going to happen in the future if there's a "habit" of yours that he says now he can live with but later on says either you change or I'm gone? Really, really look outside the proverbial "box" on this one and follow your heart and your head. In my honest opinion, if a man can't accept a woman (or vice versa) the way they are when they meet and fall in love, he/she isn't worth having. They fell in love for a reason, not because of a "habit" or a pet (who's more like family than they are). During the dating process, neither party tries to "change" the other - it's only when things turn to a more serious note that things start to come out of the "closet". If he's making demands and such now and you aren't even engaged (unless I read that wrong), as I said, what's he going to do the deeper the relationship gets? Just something to think about. Best of luck to you!

Suzi

My husband isn't an animal lover either BUT he knows that I am and respects that. Any man that would make you choose between him and someone or something else (unless it's a bad something or someone else) doesn't love. If he truly loved you then there is no way he could ask you to choose. Do you really want to be with someone that threatens to leave you everytime he wants his way?

oh, hon....how terrible that you have to go through this! I can't imagine being with someone who didn't feel the same way I do about my animals. My husband knows I love my pets, and I'm sure is not crazy about all the money I spend on them, but he loves me so will do whatever it takes to make me happy.

I'm of the belief that a relationship should be that way...and I can't see why you should be put in the position to choose between the boyfriend and your pup...or your boyfriend and anything for that matter! To me that is truly unfair of him to ask that of you....and it's not taking your feelings into consideration at all. Your feelings are important and sacrificing them now, before you're even engaged, sets a precedent that could set you up for years of having to sacrifice other things in deference to him.

I would definitely do some hard thinking about your relationship. If you were to give up your Pixie, then what next?

I'm so sorry to hear you have having problems. I personally would never give up Sango for the world. I would sooner let my man go than my puppy. I think you've gotten some great advice here from the others. I also agree that crate training would be an excellent idea.

I'm not sure if you confine her in an area when she is unsupervised, but I think that will definetly help until she gets over the chewing everything stage. Maybe getting an X-pen to keep her in an area, free of personal things she can get into and chew on and give her some chew toys. This way it will protect you all. My major concern is if she's chewing on cell phone charger cords there's a chance that she could get electrocuted. :( And that would be devastating.

Another suggestion is perhaps you can try to get Pixie to interact with him more. So she won't be as protective of you and dislike him so much. Maybe poor Pixie hasn't gotten a chance to really get to know him anf trust him. Although, I'm not sure if your boyfriend would go for that, but if he's willing to do so you guys should give that a shot. Have him play with her and give her some treats.

I really do hope everything works out for you girlie. Do keep us posted. And as the other have said before, if worse comes to worse get rid of the BF, there are plenty more out there that would love you & every aspect of your life. Especially you furbaby. They don't say "Love me, love my dog." for nothin' :exclaim:

I dont really have any advice for you bc when I got both of my girls my hubby was with me already! He has grown to love them so much and he couldnt live without them! I have always been a huge animal lover and I could never be with ANYONE if they didnt love animals as much as I do! I dont care if it was Brad Pitt, if he didnt like animals he would be out the door! I am so sorry that you are having to choose like this it must be really hard on you!

Also tell your bf that if he leaves things in Pixie's reach then it is fair game! Leave one of YOUR candy bars right in his face and see if he doesnt eat it! Its the same kinda thing its temptation and when these little dogs see something that is tempting they are going to do all they can to get to it and chew it to pieces!

Boyfriends come and go, but dogs are very loyal, keep the dog find a new boyfried, it's sounds like he has a temper problem to - to get jelous of a dog?? What is going to happen when you two have kids?

Sorry you're going through this. I don't think you should listen to the advice to just "drop" your fiancee because he's not an animal lover. My husband isn't crazy about my dog either. Winnie has chewed through a few power cords and a few baseboards and my husband hit the roof. You really can't trust your dog even at a year old to be left unattended. Winnie is just now three and we're just starting to give him the freedom to be downstairs by himself without suppervision. I don't think it's unusual for a one year old dog to still be getting into trouble when they're left unattended. Take your fiancee out to a nice restaurant away from the craziness of life, work and your little one and talk it over. Try to take the focus away from the dog by telling him it's really not the dogs fault but yours for leaving him unattended. We all FREAK out now and again and say things we don't really mean. Give it some time and promise your fiancee that you'll be more careful with your furbaby. Even thought my hubby says he doesn't like Winnie who do you think is the first one he "hugs" when he gets back from business trips! :rolleyes: Things will get better...you just have to prove to your fiancee that you can stop these things from happening by keeping your furbaby gated or supervise him a little better. *HUGS* to you and keeping my finger crossed. Take Care

Wow that SUCKS. I would definately ditch the boyfriend. If he is putting a guilt trip on you then it is obvious the it is all about him. If he is not willing to compromise on this matter then he will be controlling you your whole relationship. my hubby is an animal lover but he is not extreme as I am. However he knows how important my Remmy and Chance are to me and would never make me choose between him and them Just as I would never make him choose between something that he loved ( like Golf) and me. :) Maybe your boyfriend just over reacted with Pixie chewing his phone cord and will calm down and rethink what he is asking you to do. If not I would move on to better things.
Chris

I agree with Vee... The charger should not have been left out. (Esp. when you know there is a problem with her chewing) It's almost as though he left it there on purpose to cause this problem.. You can try crating her which is what I do when Daisy cannot be completely in my sight or if I am out of the house. It might take her some getting use to, but the house will be a happier place if she is not chewing things. I hope that you get things resolved, but it's not fair to you to have to chose...

Amen, She started dating him when she got the dog as a gift, he should of said he didn't like the dog when she got it instead of wasting a year of her life with him, i'm with you get rid of him ..... There are a lot of wonderfull guys out there that love pets......

I haven't read the other replies so I don't know if I'm repeating anyone else. My husband bought me my Yorkie, Lynx, as a graduation present. So you'd think he'd be in love! But he gets SO frustrated with Lynx and our relationship. He's made comments that I should leave Lynx with my mother since we are having a child, etc but he knows I'm not giving up my furbaby for nothing! He's just going to have to live with it. I told him, you're just jealous because I don't want to cuddle with you the way I cuddle with Lynx! So he lives with it and goes into phases where he loves and appreciates Lynx's company and then when he complains about his toys, poop and sickiness. Men!

Mari

if the puppy is chewing and you dont want to put it in a crate you can always put it in a baby playpen so at lease shes not completely boxed in, i use to do this when i had my sasha as she use to have fits and as the sides are soft she wouldnt hurt her self if she had one when i was out. she quite liked the playpen think she saw it as a big comfortable bed. now as for the boyfriend sounds to me if hes jealous and if he is jealous of a dog what will he be like if you have kids? its not fair him asking you to chose between them hes a grown man for gods sake, if he loves you he would not ask you to do something that he knows will hurt you so much,and this could be the start of him trying to control you,whats next? he tells you he dont like your friends,family,so you have to choose between him or them? this is just my opinion so i hope it dont upset you but if i was you id tell him he has to choose, if he loves you and wants to be with you then he has to except the dog,if he then leaves you all cos of a dog that chews things he never really cared about you in the first place and he dont deserve you hun.if he says sorry and excepts the dog then try and get him and the dog closer by getting him to do things with the dog on there own,and show your boyfriend that you love him and when he spends time with the dog it makes you happy and love him even more. good luck

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. When you love your Pixie and your BF, how can he make you choose. I would never, ever give up my babies. It really sounds like you need to think things through before marrying this man. It sounds like he could be testing the water as far as how much can he control you. Take your time, long before you marry. Having someone nag for you to do their bidding will get old and although you can't see it now, you may get so tired of it, you'll get him to the curb. Best of luck to you. Remember, time is on your side!!!

im sorry :( but i would never leave my baby for anybody. but thats jmo.

Yikes. I would never plan a future with anyone who is intolerant of a puppy or jealous. What happens when bigger, more serious problems arise in your future marriage? Is he going to give ultimatums and pout?

at the risk of getting bash myself...I do believe the girl is at fault here.

B4 you ladies jump down my throat…let me just say that he is definitely wrong for making her choose. But I can understand why he is getting so upset.

It seems like her yorkie is not trained enough yet to be free roaming around the house. And instead of preventing that she wants the boyfriend to put everything up and away from the yorkies reach. That’s not how you solve a problem or is it a solution. It should be try to put everything out of reach but the yorkie need to be crated/xpen when it can’t be watched.

I don’t think he hates the yorkie but she is breeding an environment where he isn’t allowed to enjoy the yorkie and putting the yorkie above his needs.

In her version of the story...she defends the yorkie instead of her boyfriend's things. That would piss me off too.

Oh man... he sure put you against the wall on this one. I could NOT, NOT, NOT give up my furbaby/ies because my BF or Hubby wanted me to choose. If he's not an animal lover then minor things are a BIG deal to him. The only reason I would find a home for my furbaby would be because of serious problems with the dog that cannot be corrected even after all attempts have been made and it was still really painful for me to do that. Chewing,barking is going to happen. I keep two toy boxes filled with tons of toys! Every kind of chew toy I see , I buy it.There must be like 50+ toys here.Cookie is not a chewer but Lola is(still a puppy) . She has not damaged anything of ours because I keep the floor spotless with no shoes,remotes etc.... For some reason she shows no interest in cords for now. I agree with some of the posts saying to get a xpen. I found one at Sears that cost $47 ,it's actually for kids but it says it can also be used for dogs. How would he feel and act if you no longer had Pixie? I can imagine you would be totally depressed and so hurt.How could he be happy with you like that??? He has to meet you halfway on this. Tell him that you understand about the chewing and are WILLING to compromise and get a pen to keep her in while you guys are away so she doesnt get into chewing stuff that's not hers. If he just wants to stick to his ultimatum (sp?) of getting rid of Pixie then I would choose to let him go . If he truly ,truly loves you then he can accept Pixie if he wants to.

Sorry for the long post!
GEnie,Cookie & Lola

I do agree that she should be making every effort to train her baby. And teach him not to do these things. And I would never make my husband FEEL seond fiddle to my furbabies. I don't mind my husband playing Golf just as long as he does not make me feel that Golf is more important than me. Its a balance. However S*&! happens and the boyfriend has to understand that dogs chew things. Believe me I don't like it when my boys get into stuff but have come to learn that when this happens usually it is my fault for not watching or not putting them in an area if I can't watch them.

Wow, that is tough. I'm afraid I've always based who I've dated on my dogs' opinions. If my dog, or my parent's dogs didn't like a guy; well he didn't pass the test. Lol, coming to think of it I think I listened to the animals far more than my parents. . . hmmm

Sorry, back on subject. Honestly if he loves you then he should respect what you love, and try and make it work. In my opinion he should be bending over backwards to get your doggie to like and trust him; sounds like he could care less. I have to agree that maturity is involved here; no secure, mature man would make someone choose between their dog and him. It would be one thing if the dog was dangerous, and prone to bite and hurt people. That would be more of a safety issue than anything else.

And I wonder how he'll be once kids are along -- you think it's hard to puppy proof a house; it's nothing compared to baby proofing. My kids did and still do get into everything!!! I always consider before I put something down or away whether it needs to be out of reach or locked away as a danger just in case one of my children get curious. BTW, children break a lot of stuff also, Jacob, my 6 yr old son, dropped my cell phone in a cup of water a couple weeks ago. . .

We never leave anything on the floor; and if we forget and do. . . well rather than getting angry with one of our two puppies (although they do get scolded, so they know it's wrong) I get more angry with myself. My Rhapsody chewed up the data wire to my Ipod last week (and let me tell you, those wires aren't cheap), although she got in trouble, the fault was with me for not realizing it was dangling within her reach. . .

So just think; yeah you could get rid of your dog, but I have a feeling it won't stop there. I feel that if he truly loves you; he should make every possible effort to find a solution that doesn't force you to give up something you love.

Good luck!