Isn't this the truth?
 

Letter to My Pets:

When I say to move, it means to go someplace else, not to switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in my way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours, and contain your food. All other dishes are mine, and contain my food. Please note that placing your paw
print in the middle of MY plate and food does not stake a claim making it
YOUR plate and food.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR, and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help in your quest to reach the bottom first, because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed.I am very sorry about this. Do not think that I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.

It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to one another,
Stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking
tails straight out, and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize
space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, and try to turn the knob,or get your paw under the edge of the door and try to pull it open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Honest!!!

Also, I have been using the bathroom by myself for quite some time --
canine attendance is not mandatory.

And... I can't stress this one enough -- kiss me, THEN go smell the other
dog's/cat's behind.

To pacify you, my dear pet less companions, I have posted the following notice on our front door:

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit
and then Complain About Our Pets
** The pets live here....YOU DONT!!

** If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay OFF the furniture. That's why it's called "fur"niture.
** To you, our pets are just animals. To us, they are an adopted son/daughter who happens to be hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.


Besides it could be argued that dogs and cats are better than kids
because:
---- They don't ask for money all the time
---- They are easier to train
---- They usually come when called
---- They don't hang out with drug-using friends
---- They don't need a gazillion dollars for a college education,

and
---- if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.
:)

I love this post. The sleeping perpendicular is so true...... how can a 3 1/2 lb. dog take up 1/2 of a queen size bed? Go figure.

Thank you for the smile!

I love it! How true! GREAT POST!!!!!!!!!

Haha, Thanks For The Laugh, I Needed One Today!!!! :d

That was great!! :D

I LOVE that!!! :p :p :p

I sooo needed this today - thanks for posting it! Too cute! :D

:lol tears :lol tears :lol tears :lol tears :lol tears

Gr8 Post!
 

cute!

LOL I can relate to most of those on that list...I think my girls have it out for me!!

That is SOOOOOOOOO funny!!!!! I laughed out loud! I am going to copy and paste that and share it with others whom I know would get a kick out of it! Thanks for sharing :D

What a great start to the day, and it’s not even 9:00 AM. Nothing like a belly laugh to start off the morning. Great post, and here I was thinking I was the only going through the pet step. Great shirt by the way in one of your previous posts, my husband has no less than 7 woody shirts. The real question is, do you have a Woody cookie jar collection? We’re up to six, love anything and everything tropical. Our newest addition is a Maine Coon kitty named Kona, I will post a pick with the pups when I can get them to sit still together. Might take awhile………

Lololol!!
 

Good one!!!! :D

Welcome to YT!

Cool :D

LOL!!! :lol tears :eyetearss :bravo:

How true is that!!!!

Thanks!! :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Haha! Love It!!! :d :d :d

:bravo:

Only a pet lover and owner could really appreciate that. I truly loved your post. It gave me quite a laugh.

:eyetearss

We can all relate to a lot of those mentioned.

But, we also know..... :yorkiesar

Awesome
 

Great post. Truly enjoyed reading it. Thanks for humering me. :D

I loved this post!

Brilliant :thumbup:

Woodie's Dad, thanks, that was hysterical!!! The notice for visitors, I have printed and framed with a picture of Toto and it's positioned where it's the first thing seen when you enter my home!! ;) Told Patrick I was planning to post it on the front door!! :p

omg this is so funny AND true! :lol tears

thanks for a great post.............so true!!!! can't wait to share this with everyone!

Great post!!! :o)
 

Great post!! What a true tale! (tail)! :aimeeyork

:D I know what you mean but try it with a twin bed. Moose will get angry with me at night cause I apparently am suppose to sleep on the very edge cause she at 5lbs requires more space. I have told my parents the moment I move out I am getting a big tv for a den (ie.27 or 32) and either a queen or king bed so I can actually have room. When I go on business trips my office mate will laugh at me when she comes in my room cause I sleep in the middle of the king bed, what can I say have to enjoy my increase of sleeping space as much as I can :D

lol That's so funny and you are right very true!

I absolutely loved that post. I too am making a sign for my door. Thanks.