Why dont people take me seriously???

[orinskye]

A while ago i posted that i needed help because my dog has not been coming when he is called AND he got out at my parents house. For those of you that dont know the story: My parents were walking out the gate and let the dog out onto a BUSY street. Toby wouldnt come when he was called he running around the street playing the "catch me if you can" game. My parents came in the house when we finally caught him and said that "I didnt think he would do that!!!". I had REPEATEDLY warned them and told them to watch for him when they are leaving. THey didnt take me seriously.
I told this same story to a freind of my fiance last night, and about fifteen minuits later he was walking outside and LEFT THE F_ING DOOR OPEN and guess what???? TOBY GOT OUT AGAIN.
My fiance didnt really understand why i was so angry. Do you think it is out of line to say that because he doesnt follow house rules his friend cant come over anymore????? (i mean i could sort of see him forgetting over the period of a couple weeks, but i told him 15 minuits before he left the fricken door open)
I also am instituting the rule that no one feeds toby treats or ATTEMPTS TO TRAIN HIM other than me or my fiance.... i told that same friend NO MORE treats (he wasnt even asking him to do what he wanted, he would say sit and toby would still be standing and he would give him a treat..... i think he RUINED any progress i have made with him) anyways, i told him NO MORE and then next thing i know he is reaching up on the fridge for MORE CHEERIOS!!
WHY dont people take me seriously????? I am VERY frustrated by this.... what shoudl i do??? My fiance thinks i am making a big deal out of nothing, but it is something to me. I dont want a bad dog that doesnt listen, any progress i made went out the window with my fiance's "training methods" AND he lets the fricken dog out....
What would you do??

[Bitsy]

We have (or I should say my husband has) a cat named Ivan that I have nicknamed Ivan the bad cat! He is always trying to run outside. We have kids so it is easy for them or their friends to forget to be careful when they come in or out.

So, I don't give them the opportunity to let him out. When we have company over, I put Ivan in the laundry room. He has a bed and food and water and is just fine in there. Maybe you could try putting your Toby up when certain people come to visit. Then, if they say, "where is Toby", you can nicely and honestly tell them that you don't want to risk him getting out again so you put him out of harms way for a while. Or, if they are there a long time, you can just put him up while they are arriving or departing.

Hope this helps. As I tell me son (and myself repeatedly): "You can't control what other people do. No matter how much you try. You can only control what you do and how you respond in situations."

Since you can't control them, you might have to take extra precautions.

Good luck.

[orinskye]

yes i thought about that too, but the whole thing was really stupid because he went out to have a smoke.... he wasnt leaving. He did it really unanounced which is why i wasnt ready for it, because i usually pick toby up when people are walking in or out. I dont think its fair for toby to be locked up the whole time, i think if anyone has to suffer it should be the friend. He can come back when he is responsible enough to shut the door , but i have thought about youre suggestion before writing my initial post. After toby being in teh crate all day, i thought it was a little unfair to put him in their all night too

[Hickey007]

You have every right to be mad, something can easily happen to Toby if he gets in the street. I would suggest to maybe put a BIG sign on the door that says don't let the dog out, however if I remember correctly from your last post you have already tried this.
I wouldn't feel bad about not letting anyone give him treats or try to train him, its your dog and you have to make the rules for him. I completely agree that you can't reward the dog if you tell him to sit and he doesn't, this isn't teaching him commands at all. I would definately start teaching him come (although I have a feeling you are already trying this).
I will also say that once you feel that Toby is obeying you to your satisfaction, you may also try and get someone else to try working with him. Teach a friend exactly how you work with Toby and let them try. I have three big dogs and since I got two of them before I was living with my now husband they don't listen to him much, just my mom (who lives in Iowa, I live in Alabama, not much help) and me. So by letting someone work with him that doesn't normally do it, it may teach him to listen to everyone, but I might be crazy. If you do do this I would definately make sure he listens to you first and also make sure you teach the other person exactly how you work with Toby.
Like I said earlier though, he's your dog, do what you feel is right. If you had a 2 year old child and someone let him out into the street you would be furious and everyone would understand why. Well there's not much difference I know a dog isn't a person but you have just as much responsibility to the dog and love him just as much.
Courtney

[kp&nala]

sometimes i feel the same way nala is kept behind a baby gate and the end of the hallway, she gets to come out when the other dogs are put up or sleeping but my family (meme is the worst!!) will pick her up and think for some reasons that nala will sit in their lap which of course never happens then I end up having to chase her before she gets her head bit off by the other dogs. i've told my meme so many times don't let nala down around the other dogs koko will BITE her (koko is very old) but she never listens EVER

[kp&nala]

Originally Posted by orinskye

yes i thought about that too, but the whole thing was really stupid because he went out to have a smoke.... he wasnt leaving. He did it really unanounced which is why i wasnt ready for it, because i usually pick toby up when people are walking in or out. I dont think its fair for toby to be locked up the whole time, i think if anyone has to suffer it should be the friend. He can come back when he is responsible enough to shut the door , but i have thought about youre suggestion before writing my initial post. After toby being in teh crate all day, i thought it was a little unfair to put him in their all night too

once again i agree with you, lol. as i mentioned there is a baby gate up in our hallway and my sister (14) thinks when her friends are over that the gate should be put up at my door. i don't think nala should have to be shut up especially since 70% of the time she has to sit behind a gate and watch the other dogs and everyone else in the house do as they please. i came home for lunch one day (late lunch about 2pm) and my sister and her friends had put the gate up in my room and left nala in there with no pee pad, no water and no food!!! you talk about someone being pissed!!! by the time i got done with them they were calling their mommas to come get them! how much common sense did it take to give her food & water and a pee pad?? i still get mad just thinking about it!

[GracieGirl]

I would suggest maybe blocking a part of the house off if you have company and you do not trust that they will watch for Toby. Also what I have done in the past is since I have a back door leading to a fenced in backyard when I know I am having guests is put up a gate in front of the main door leading to the street and make the company walk over it I know this may be unexpectable to some people because a lot of people do not like to step over the gate it will remind them to be AWARE that there is a dog in the house and they are to be careful. Seeing the gate=dog. They can use the back door where if Gracie did get out she wouldnt have access to the street or they could simply step over the gate of the front door and the dog would not be able to get out.

[Sabrina]

I feel the same way. I feel like I am constantly yelling WATCH THE DOG when people are over. I do not give my puppy any people food and everyone is always trying to feed her something. My sister is also the worst but she should know better because she is 22!!

[Gingi]

Sorry, no words of wisdom. I just wanted to agree with you and fuss about people that can't respect you, your wishes and your dog in your own house!
It's not fair that Toby have to be locked up in his own home during what should be his free time because people can't do just a couple of courteous and simple things things at that. A child I could understand, but and adult, please! I don't know, but keeping Toby safe and on track with his training is the most important thing, but doesn't it make you just want to smack your friends in the head and say "weren't you listening to me?!?!?!"

[Ranger]

Girl I know what your going through, and honestly it sucks!! Right now I live w/ my FH at his mom's house which includes his oldest bro and roomate (both 30+). I feed Ranger twice a day, but my FMIL has been putting food down for him whenever she sees the bowl empty. Her reasoning is that her friend at work leaves food down 24/7 for her chi . She will even feed him people food while she's cooking (before I get home), even after I told everyone in the house not too.

The boys will also give him treats constantly whether he did the right command or not. So now when I say lay down he rolls over . I have to practically start over and re-train him .

I've even put notes on the fridge where everyone would see them. And still they don't do what I ask! I hate having to crate Ranger b/c people can't pick up after themselves. . .I just can't wait until we get our own place at the end of the year!!!

I would say the friend is "grounded" from coming over until he understands the house rules, that's what I would do for anyone that doesn't listen to what I say!! Good Luck!

[debi_s]

I feel the same way. I feel like I am constantly yelling WATCH THE DOG when people are over.


DITTO.......

How frustrating is that!!!!!!!! I know the whole time people are thinking (under their breath....)...."why doesn't she teach the dog to listen..." !!!!!
And my dad is 82 years old and comes by every day...I LOVE my dad but he cannot remember the little tiny dog is under his feet!!!! I usually have to pick up Lil Bit and hold her whenever people are moving around..... and they will do ANYTHING to mess up what I have taught her.....

UUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. I am going off for a week......my husband will be here off and on but I am now seriously considering taking Lil Bit to the vet to kennel for 3 nights next week.......I just don't trust my own daughter (age 27) and the 2 grandkids to BE CAREFUL!!!!!

[frankiesmommy]

I don't think you're overreacting at all. I would feel the same way!!!

Since there will always be situations where other people will act irresponsibly around Toby or ignore what you tell them, maybe you should keep Toby with you whenever a visitor is in the house. If you can't monitor him, place him in a crate in your room away from the visitors. I always hate putting Frankie in a crate, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

[YorkiesRule]

I have no real words of wisdom for you either. Only words of hope. My Lexi is also the great escape artist. Early on, when we had her only a couple of months, each member of my family made the dreaded mistake of "forgetting" she was there and opening the door without making sure she could get out. And get out she did - running like a looney :Puppy: And we live on a very busy street. NO ONE has every made this same mistake twice. We now are in the habit of always having a baby gate up in the hallway a few feet from the front door.

[Jane]

Hi, I know what you mean! I have the same problem! A friend of mine will not listen to me. I want a happy, good behaved bab!

[lilbumbleybees]

You have every right to be angry. It's like parents who let their children keeping eating out of the cookie jar when the other parent has repeately said no. What happens? You end up with a overweight, dissobediant child b/c they always got what they wanted. And it's HARD to reverse the situation. I had that problem with Bouncer nad 3 years later I FINALLY got him trained and people to stop feeding him. The best advice I can give is to crate your baby or put him in another room that your guests are NOT allowed in while your company is over. Have a VERY SERIOUS sit-down talk with your fiance about everything. He has to understand where you are coming from. Another piece of advice. Hide the treats where your fiance and guests won't know where they are and enforce a STRICT "no human food" policy. I had to start keeping the treats in my bathroom closet where my parents wouldn't find them b/c Bouncer was starting to beg, disobey, and gain unneeded weight. Be firm and don't give up. If someone does something you don't want, TELL THEM. You have every right to speak up when it comes to your "child". Today some man tried to pet Bouncer and Bounce doesn't realy like men he doesn't know (not sure why, he's been like that since he was a puppy). I got up and said, "PLEASE Do not pet him, he may bite." The man continued. I said, "Do not pet that dog, he does not like men he doesn't know and he WILL bite you." He backed off. Now, Bounce won't really bite, but sometimes you have to say little lies to get people's attention. Good luck to you!