Asking YT for help?

[dottiesyrky]

I have been a YT member for many years and thought that sometimes when we cannot get to a vet or urgent care or specialist, for many reasons, that we could come here for compassion and positive help. Often we may need reassurance that the treatment is ok and want input from others who may have similar experiences.
I now wonder if one should not do that, but just wait until we can go to the vet.
Is YT no longer a place for pet moms to come for compassion?
I certainly will not!
As a mom who has devoted most of my dog’s life to his care, I don’t like being told I am not doing the best for my baby.
Perhaps the best thing to do is rehome him at ten years old to a more perfect mom?

[Lovetodream88]

Sometimes we get advise we don’t like so we just have to ignore that and try and move forward from it. Sometimes we might think people are being rude or not very sensitive but they are trying to help in their own way. We just sometimes have to take a breather and come back when we have calmed down.

[nanajoy]

Originally Posted by Lovetodream88

Sometimes we get advise we don’t like so we just have to ignore that and try and move forward from it. Sometimes we might think people are being rude or not very sensitive but they are trying to help in their own way. We just sometimes have to take a breather and come back when we have calmed down.

[dottiesyrky]

I agree that there are cases when advise should be accepted in good faith. But when one asks for others experiences of illnesses and just get reprimanded, that is different.
In my case I did not get that from one person, who said she had experiences but did not give treatments or outcomes, which would have been helpful and accepted with gratitude.
I happen not to have a support system to take my pet if I am not able to take care of him or transport him to specialists etc. I am sure others will have similar issues.
There is also a kind way of giving advice instead of being accusatory.
But thank you Taylor, I really respect your reply.

[nanajoy]

I sent you a PM Dottie...

[Wylie's Mom]

Originally Posted by dottiesyrky

I have been a YT member for many years and thought that sometimes when we cannot get to a vet or urgent care or specialist, for many reasons, that we could come here for compassion and positive help. Often we may need reassurance that the treatment is ok and want input from others who may have similar experiences.
I now wonder if one should not do that, but just wait until we can go to the vet.
Is YT no longer a place for pet moms to come for compassion?
I certainly will not!
As a mom who has devoted most of my dog’s life to his care, I don’t like being told I am not doing the best for my baby.
Perhaps the best thing to do is rehome him at ten years old to a more perfect mom?

Originally Posted by dottiesyrky

I agree that there are cases when advise should be accepted in good faith. But when one asks for others experiences of illnesses and just get reprimanded, that is different.
In my case I did not get that from one person, who said she had experiences but did not give treatments or outcomes, which would have been helpful and accepted with gratitude.
I happen not to have a support system to take my pet if I am not able to take care of him or transport him to specialists etc. I am sure others will have similar issues.
There is also a kind way of giving advice instead of being accusatory.
But thank you Taylor, I really respect your reply.

I am really so sorry to see that you've had a tough experience . I think that's happened to so many of us here, me included. And when stuff like that happens, it sure can hurt and stick with you. One can feel very vulnerable when we don't know how to help our babies and we're all sensitive to this...you're not alone, you're in good company .

I so hope you can find a way to eventually let the hurt go, and continue to be a part of the community bc I know you're a friend to so many folks here - definitely me included!

Your location says "SW USA" - are you near Phoenix, AZ...? You don't have to answer that here. Bc I do know some great specialists here. I will say of all the specialists I've seen over the years - the Vet Ophthalmologists are, by far, the most pricey I've been to!

[aweitzm1]

I am sorry you feel this way. I read the posts more than I actually post here but find really good advise when needed.

However, there have been one or two occasions that I felt after posting that a few of the responses were hurtful. I have to remember that They care and want the best for my babies just like me. I am a very analytical thinker and not very emotional so I try to take it from the below view point

1. I sometimes am not great at expressing myself through writing and may not have explained the situation properly
2. Only you know your babies best and what they can and cannot handle. We are not there to physically see how they are feeling or acting. When advice is given we can only go by what is written in the post and previous ones.
3. I also do not have a support system for when my babies are sick so I understand where you are coming from.
4. Sometimes you need to take the advice with a grain of salt. Incorporate what is given in the post but follow the doctors advice and your own gut feeling.
5. At times I have to sit back and leave the site for a few days after reading something I did not want to see or hear. If I don't follow the advice does not make me a bad mom and it should not make you one either. As long as you are doing the best for your babies that is all you can do.

I hope this helps.

[dottiesyrky]

Hi.
I so appreciate your kind post, understanding and support. I agree I am more easily hurt and affected by others words when I feel down.
I am sorry that you too have no support when your babies need help, it sucks!
I have to take the good with the not so good and believe in myself more. I really do feel I know what is best for my dog and one thing is he is so attached to me. Of course if he needed specialist help and I could get it, I would. But I feel at this point trying the simpler less drastic approach is worth a shot.
I suppose what I object to is being told I am a relatively stupid dog mom who knows nothing. That I am not. I carefully researched the ulcer issue before I went to the vet and only when he treated in the way I had read about, I felt it would be ok. His eye is open more now and he seems like his old self and really enjoyed his first walk in a week this morning. So thanks again and praying for a good outcome. Hugs.

[aweitzm1]

Originally Posted by dottiesyrky

Hi.
I so appreciate your kind post, understanding and support. I agree I am more easily hurt and affected by others words when I feel down.
I am sorry that you too have no support when your babies need help, it sucks!
I have to take the good with the not so good and believe in myself more. I really do feel I know what is best for my dog and one thing is he is so attached to me. Of course if he needed specialist help and I could get it, I would. But I feel at this point trying the simpler less drastic approach is worth a shot.
I suppose what I object to is being told I am a relatively stupid dog mom who knows nothing. That I am not. I carefully researched the ulcer issue before I went to the vet and only when he treated in the way I had read about, I felt it would be ok. His eye is open more now and he seems like his old self and really enjoyed his first walk in a week this morning. So thanks again and praying for a good outcome. Hugs.

I feel you are doing your best. I hope everything comes out ok for your baby. In NYC it is really expensive to see a specialist so I rely on his regular vet to treat him and determine the best course of action along with my own input. The few times I have taken Thumper to see a specialist it was $200 a consultation visit and that was without any tests being done so I understand the cost issue as well.

I have pet insurance for both my babies but when I got Thumper I did not realize the cost of seeing a vet or that his insurance would not pay for the exam fee. I learned my lesson quickly and when I got Bella I made sure the insurance covered exam fees.

I will pray for your baby.

[Maximo]

Making health care decisions for our pups, for humans, for ourselves can be very challenging, charged with emotion. It isn't like doing math, balancing a checkbook, where there is one right answer for everything. I really learned that lesson last year when my father was sick and ultimately passed away.


I have had my best friends on YT question my choices concerning vet care. I knew it was with good intentions. In the end, I only have Max and Teddy to answer to, whether or not I have done my best in taking care of them.

[aweitzm1]

Originally Posted by Maximo

Making health care decisions for our pups, for humans, for ourselves can be very challenging, charged with emotion. It isn't like doing math, balancing a checkbook, where there is one right answer for everything. I really learned that lesson last year when my father was sick and ultimately passed away.


I have had my best friends on YT question my choices concerning vet care. I knew it was with good intentions. In the end, I only have Max and Teddy to answer to, whether or not I have done my best in taking care of them.

Completely agree with what you said. It is not an easy decision. I sometimes second guess myself when making health choices for myself, Bella and Thumper

[dottiesyrky]

I want all to know that cost is not the reason I did not go to a specialist first. When he had cataract surgery it cost over $3,500 plus about two months of follow ups and uncomfortable treatments. The post op treatments left my dog with fear aggression as every time I went near him he though it was more painful eyedrops! Then I spent thousands on dog psychs and trainers to no avail. Only my love, patience and time have made my dog sweet and relatively fearless again. So I do know what to do most of the time, often better than the experts! The secret is to know when I need to get expert advice. But I try and see my vet first for an assessment and then for referrals if necessary.

[dottiesyrky]

Another thing. I wonder when a specialist is the first line of defense that they tend to go for the complex treatments first. I did not want to put my dog through a complex corneal surgery with all the painful pre and post op treatment. Hope I don’t have to do this.
So only God knows if my baby will cure without complex treatments. I pray he is kind.
Thank you all for your help and support, most appreciated.

[Lovetodream88]

Originally Posted by Maximo

Making health care decisions for our pups, for humans, for ourselves can be very challenging, charged with emotion. It isn't like doing math, balancing a checkbook, where there is one right answer for everything. I really learned that lesson last year when my father was sick and ultimately passed away.


I have had my best friends on YT question my choices concerning vet care. I knew it was with good intentions. In the end, I only have Max and Teddy to answer to, whether or not I have done my best in taking care of them.

[DvlshAngel985]

Originally Posted by Maximo

Making health care decisions for our pups, for humans, for ourselves can be very challenging, charged with emotion. It isn't like doing math, balancing a checkbook, where there is one right answer for everything. I really learned that lesson last year when my father was sick and ultimately passed away.


I have had my best friends on YT question my choices concerning vet care. I knew it was with good intentions. In the end, I only have Max and Teddy to answer to, whether or not I have done my best in taking care of them.

Agreed. Health care choices are the hardest to make because we are so emotionally invested. 5 months ago, I knew I just had to try to make Kaji better. I just knew for a fact I'd regret if I didn't give him every opportunity, every treatment, and any food changes needed. These past few weeks, I have a profound sadness because I think I caused Kaji prolonged suffering in my attempts to save his life.


An empathetic ear is sure helpful though, to calm nerves and help us feel centered again, which is needed to move forward. I hope, OP, that you are able to filter out the not so nice, and focus on the posts that uplift you in your time of need.