Jealousy

[tb98rock]

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Each time I pet teddy I then pet the puppy. Sometimes if the puppy needs something (I just tried to feed teddy and he's having nothing to do with food) I have to go give him his dinner and he'll chow down while teddy watches jealously out the open door (we feed messy pup outdoors) and so Ted is mad at me for giving it attention and won't come near me! I mean he's already shunning my dad for being the one who got the pup from the car but I expected that as it is my dads job to attend to the pup while I continue babying Ted. How do I regain trust? I'm home alone so I can't just go in my room alone with Ted to baby him but I've tried petting and holding him he's just so upset with us

[Maximo]

Sorry to hear Teddy is stressed by the new puppy sibling.

Try to keep Teddy's previous routine intact as much as possible. Does he like walks and outings? Take him out alone, daily if needed.

Boss is 5 months old, correct? In addition to taking Teddy out alone, walk them together.

Does Teddy do tricks? Practice doing tricks together. My boys know only a few simple tricks, but performing them together helped forge a bond.

We had a few jealousy issues the first few weeks. Max wouldn't let our Teddy share his car seat or the bed. Extra outings alone with Max and together with Teddy helped.

Most of all, remain calm. Keep a positive attitude or Teddy will pick up on your anxiety and it will feed his stress.

[tb98rock]

Boss had to go get shots today but Ted has been regressing back to his puppy traditions. He sat on me all morning to get scratches and then he laid in the bathroom while I got ready...we are going on a car ride tonight after work hopefully some alone time doing what he loves most will be beneficial I mean some days if he gets out he'll do laps around my car until I open the door and then he'll get in and not move until I go for a drive even if it's around the block! So yea a nice car ride and some cookies for him tonight definitely

[Maximo]

Great plan! I'm glad he enjoys car rides.

My boys have been together for 6 years and little things still make a difference in making each one feel special. They still have moments of jealousy, but I think that has become more of a game with them.

[tb98rock]

It kinda hurts the pup when I have to ignore him because Ted is being needy. I think they're slowly doing better I'm just worried last nights drooling incident will happen again

[Maximo]

Originally Posted by tb98rock

It kinda hurts the pup when I have to ignore him because Ted is being needy. I think they're slowly doing better I'm just worried last nights drooling incident will happen again

Drooling can also be caused by excitement, probably anxious excitement. I've read about happy dogs doing this after playdates.

Relax and keep a positive attitude. Both dogs will sense your feelings, so if you are nervous, they are going to be nervous. Let things evolve naturally.

[canana]

You already got great advice from Maximo, but just wanted to share that I experienced the same thing too! It's 'normal' I guess and each first dog will take a different amount of time to transition and accept the new puppy.

On our first day home, Scottie hated Casie. And, he hated me! After I held Casie, he refused to let me touch him. I would just reach to touch his paw and he'd pull his paw back! I was so shocked at how mad he was. It was cute and sad at the same time.

Lucky for me Scottie doesn't hold grudges for long and was okay for me to touch him the next day . It then took about a week for Scottie to accept that Casie was here to stay. And then another two weeks for Scottie to start to like her. And then another week to start to play with her. It's been about 3 months since we brought Casie home and they are playing each day and enjoy each other's company, but Scottie still doesn't allow Casie to be near him when he's sleeping.

I agree with Maximo, the training of the two together works wonders. I think this is the best way to regain trust. I think the reasoning is that both learn to respect you as the leader. Scottie and Casie learned how to take turns (i.e. tell Scottie to "sit" and treat; then, tell Casie to do a "sit" and treat)! It can be very cute when they learn to be patient and wait. It may take a while though...so be patient. But always command/treat Ted first! I always throw in a "good girl wait" - so she now learned the command "wait".

For the feeding issue - I started to feed them together in the same space and watch them eat. When I fed Scottie first, and he was done and had to watch Casie eat afterwards, he'd get jealous - even though he already just ate! So I decided to feed them at the same time and made sure to supervise them. Anytime Casie tried to sneak over to Scottie's dish, I gently pushed her away and back to her dish. She's learned now that she gets her own dish and is not to take from Scottie's dish. I always say "good boy eat, good girl eat" while they eat - they've now learned the command "eat".

As for holding the dogs - I would hold and pet Scottie first and look at Casie while saying "good girl Casie" and then I would hold and pet Casie while saying "good boy Scottie", giving him visual attention (he loves eye contact with me).

Try to always give Ted the attention/petting/command/treat first. I know it sucks for Boss, but that's just the way it has to be as a second child lol. Just think of it this way - Boss never ever was the first child so this has and will always be the 'way it is' to him. As in, he won't know any different so he won't actually be hurt. Try hard not to feel sorry for Boss or both Ted and him will feed off your emotions, as if something is wrong and that's how the feelings of jealousy might continue on.

[tb98rock]

Originally Posted by canana

You already got great advice from Maximo, but just wanted to share that I experienced the same thing too! It's 'normal' I guess and each first dog will take a different amount of time to transition and accept the new puppy.

On our first day home, Scottie hated Casie. And, he hated me! After I held Casie, he refused to let me touch him. I would just reach to touch his paw and he'd pull his paw back! I was so shocked at how mad he was. It was cute and sad at the same time.

Lucky for me Scottie doesn't hold grudges for long and was okay for me to touch him the next day . It then took about a week for Scottie to accept that Casie was here to stay. And then another two weeks for Scottie to start to like her. And then another week to start to play with her. It's been about 3 months since we brought Casie home and they are playing each day and enjoy each other's company, but Scottie still doesn't allow Casie to be near him when he's sleeping.

I agree with Maximo, the training of the two together works wonders. I think this is the best way to regain trust. I think the reasoning is that both learn to respect you as the leader. Scottie and Casie learned how to take turns (i.e. tell Scottie to "sit" and treat; then, tell Casie to do a "sit" and treat)! It can be very cute when they learn to be patient and wait. It may take a while though...so be patient. But always command/treat Ted first! I always throw in a "good girl wait" - so she now learned the command "wait".

For the feeding issue - I started to feed them together in the same space and watch them eat. When I fed Scottie first, and he was done and had to watch Casie eat afterwards, he'd get jealous - even though he already just ate! So I decided to feed them at the same time and made sure to supervise them. Anytime Casie tried to sneak over to Scottie's dish, I gently pushed her away and back to her dish. She's learned now that she gets her own dish and is not to take from Scottie's dish. I always say "good boy eat, good girl eat" while they eat - they've now learned the command "eat".

As for holding the dogs - I would hold and pet Scottie first and look at Casie while saying "good girl Casie" and then I would hold and pet Casie while saying "good boy Scottie", giving him visual attention (he loves eye contact with me).

Try to always give Ted the attention/petting/command/treat first. I know it sucks for Boss, but that's just the way it has to be as a second child lol. Just think of it this way - Boss never ever was the first child so this has and will always be the 'way it is' to him. As in, he won't know any different so he won't actually be hurt. Try hard not to feel sorry for Boss or both Ted and him will feed off your emotions, as if something is wrong and that's how the feelings of jealousy might continue on.

Wow thanks! We are totally using everyone's advice my dad and I are working hard together to get these boys on a path that works for everyone!

[tb98rock]

Ted seems to be observing how I interact with the other dog as I talk to him about how good Teddy is...he's also being very needy like the big eyes wanting my attention but he stands patiently as I pet boss...I think everyone is doing good

[Maximo]

Canana gave excellent advice.

Originally Posted by tb98rock

Ted seems to be observing how I interact with the other dog as I talk to him about how good Teddy is...he's also being very needy like the big eyes wanting my attention but he stands patiently as I pet boss...I think everyone is doing good

Great update! Keep up the good work.

You reminded me of something else that might be helpful in convincing your Teddy that he and Boss are a duo. I have always said my boys' names a lot together, along with their nicknames. I think they liked hearing "Maxman & Teddy Boy, my puppy doggies, ohhh." Often I combine with a quick petting on their necks. When we walk, I will even sing to the tune of the Batman theme song, "Maxman, da na na, Teddy Boy." They love it.

[tb98rock]

Originally Posted by Maximo

Canana gave excellent advice.

Great update! Keep up the good work.

You reminded me of something else that might be helpful in convincing your Teddy that he and Boss are a duo. I have always said my boys' names a lot together, along with their nicknames. I think they liked hearing "Maxman & Teddy Boy, my puppy doggies, ohhh." Often I combine with a quick petting on their necks. When we walk, I will even sing to the tune of the Batman theme song, "Maxman, da na na, Teddy Boy." They love it.

That's adorable! I just say their names like Ted boss lets go outside! Teddy won't listen because the puppy gallops outside and sometimes runs into teddy which scares him but I'm gonna practice using names together!

[tb98rock]

I learned they put differences aside when being yelled at together...they decided to beg for food from my dad so I said uh teddy boss go upstairs and lay down! I walked upstairs and they followed and didn't even bother each other as they went to their self assigned spots without a rude glance or anything! So perhaps the whole training together will be beneficial

[Jkpal]

I mean some days if he gets out he'll do laps around my car until I open the door and then he'll get in and not move until I go for a drive even if it's around the block
Now how totally adorable is that?! I love your little guy and his little ways! I'm sure with all the care and love you're providing each, both of these little tykes will be best of buddies before too long and then you're just going to have to-the-moon-and-back FUNFUNFUN!!!

[tb98rock]

Originally Posted by Jkpal

I mean some days if he gets out he'll do laps around my car until I open the door and then he'll get in and not move until I go for a drive even if it's around the block
Now how totally adorable is that?! I love your little guy and his little ways! I'm sure with all the care and love you're providing each, both of these little tykes will be best of buddies before too long and then you're just going to have to-the-moon-and-back FUNFUNFUN!!!

They're almost fine except in the living room not being controlled like I can take them out back and say go potty and they'll do that without acknowledging each other then at bedtime they'll both go their separate ways without glaring at the other and they're good at waiting turns for treats so yea I see things starting to go better! They make the cutest duo once Ted stops hopping off the couch just to sniff and nip the new guy lol