Torn apart - YorkieTalk.com Forums

dgt02 · 12-12-2015, 02:38 PM

I am feeling like I have abandoned a little Yorkie I consider my first grandchild (yes I love animals, especially my buddies/dogs). I found out about the love of Yorkies. My daughters third previous boyfriend bought her the dog 9 years ago when he was in Afghanistan serving in the military. My daughter was only 18 at the time and relied on me to bring him up and I did so as a father would do. They broke up after she cheated on him and I took care of my little boy for nine years. Now my daughter has another boyfriend who has influenced her to tear the dog I love away. We used to share the dog, mostly due to the fact my daughter was partying but understanding we had a loved and a shared Yorkie member of the family. Now after the new boyfriend who is cold, I have not seen my little boy for two months and he is lethargic and not looking well. It's breaking my heart. I love my daughter but she has no regard for my heart and just shuts me off from my first grandchild (I know it sounds silly, but I love the Yorkie too). I love my daughter but poor little Prince has become lethargic and does not look well. The Yorkie is 9 years old and not well suited to medications and just received a double whammy of a tick bite in their care and then due to a new puppy from the cold boyfriend and a puppy he bought after moving in with her also ended up Kennel Cough antibiotics and I am worried for the little mans health. I feel helpless as I have no support from my wife that just wants to keep everyone happy. I have always supported my son and daughter giving up my pension to zero so they could go to college but I am feeling really sad about the health of my first grandchild Yorkie Prince (yes, I love that dog dearly). I am considering telling my daughter how cold she is but have nobody to talk to so I'm asking here what people (loving women) think. Am I just selfish? I can see how his health is diminished and is is tearing my heat apeart. As a father, I don't know what to do as I love my daughter too and she has a new boyfriend I like, but he is in my opinion simply performing a turf war. I wanted to give Price a bath today when they came because the little man was raged and they lied saying he has a bath Monday. I know they lied to me and his poor eyes were wet and red. Should I just mind my own business? It's breaking my heart. Should I just let it go? I need some mothers to tell me if I am a jerk or if I should gently speak up to my daughter and wife. Prince is not looking well and I am very worried. It's tearing me inside.

sugarmamma · 12-13-2015, 06:02 AM

I'm sorry that this has happened to you. I don't understand people putting their wants ahead of the wants and needs of an animal that depends on them. 9 years is a long time to raise and love a dog only to have it ripped away. I'm sorry.

Does your daughter love this dog? Is he in a good home now? Will they let you at least babysit him? Again, I'm very sorry. Heartbreaking.

Kerryn915 · 12-13-2015, 06:47 AM

Maybe she will be understanding. If I were you I would talk to her and let her know how your heart is broken. Some people don't understand the connection and bond that we sometimes form with our beloved pets. Make sure you don't insult her by saying that you don't feel she is caring for the dog properly. Make it more about you and how much you need him and miss him. Don't tell her that he seems lethargic and not himself Bc she might then get defensive. Good luck and I hope you get to see the dog soon. Maybe you could work out a joint custody arrangement. This was she will see how much he loves you and wants to be with you. She might be open to leaving him with you more often.

dgt02 · 12-13-2015, 06:54 AM

Thank you Sugarmamma. I would say he is in a good home but when I saw him yesterday for the first time in a month he was sad and lathargic and seemed sick although he had just been through Kennel Cough. The frustrating part is I always took him to the vet for nine years but now I don't have any way to even see him. One month ago when I picked him up from my daughters condo the little guy was dancing and whining happily with excitement but yeserday he would barely look at me. The only thing that is new is the boyfriend moved in to my daughters condo so it seems like a power struggle at the expense of the happiness of Prince. I always paid for everything for Prince and he was never sick before the boyfriend bougjt a puppy. Prince cannot handle medications anc shots well at all. The last time he was groomed was when I did it so that is bothering me too.

I have told my daughter we need to talk about this and she noaw knows I am not pleased but I am not optimistic the little guy will ever be the same. I may be overeacting but I know Prince as he is like my first grandchild. Thanks again for caring. I used to sit him for days or weeks at a gime but now less tban a day to none for tbe last month after the boyfriend moved in.

Wylie's Mom · 12-13-2015, 07:10 AM

Hi and welcome to YT

. I'm sorry it's under these sad circumstances, but I hope you find some support and understanding and compassion here.

I must say that to me, you sound just incredibly wonderful and I think you're awesome! To love this little man this much, and truly consider him your grandpuppy (as my in-laws consider ours too

, which I love!)...well, it just *breaks* my heart that he is not with you. If it were up to my magic wand, he would be with you full time. You and Prince sound like you belong to each other, ya know?

I can only hope that if you really have a gentle, honest, forthright conversation w/ your daughter, that she will then understand your love for Prince and would be willing to let you have some meaningful time with him. If I was her, and you told me your heart was kind of breaking/aching bc you couldn't spend time with him anymore...well, I would then sure be open to sharing more of him with you.

What about exploring ideas with her like...you taking him for some weekends? Or splitting half-weeks with her? Or taking him every other week?

My gut says that the couple don't *truly* want this little man in the same way that YOU do....I feel this bc his coat is somewhat neglected and bc he seems "lethargic" and un-engaged/sad.

I SO hope she will open her heart, be honest, and allow you to love this little man to your heart's content. What a GREAT Christmas present that would be, eh? In fact, maybe you should tell her that's all you want for Xmas, is time w/ your beloved grandpuppy.

SharonSnowbird · 12-13-2015, 08:28 AM

Am so very sorry to hear of your very sad situation. My heart breaks for you.
Wylie's mom gave you some excellent ideas. I don't understand how someone can tear a dog away from someone that has raised them for so many years. I would have a heart to heart talk with her as Wylie's mom suggested and tell her how much you love him and that you are so sad without him. Maybe offer to buy her a new puppy of her choice? Tell her that would be the best Christmas present for both of you, she giving you Prince back, and you buying her a new puppy to love.
I wish you the very best of luck in resolving this very sad situation. If she will not give Prince back, maybe you could buy a new puppy to love? You sound like you would be the best father ever, and how very lucky a puppy would be to have a life with you. You will come to love the new puppy very much also.

anneclaire · 12-13-2015, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wylie's Mom

Hi and welcome to YT

. I'm sorry it's under these sad circumstances, but I hope you find some support and understanding and compassion here.

I must say that to me, you sound just incredibly wonderful and I think you're awesome! To love this little man this much, and truly consider him your grandpuppy (as my in-laws consider ours too

, which I love!)...well, it just *breaks* my heart that he is not with you. If it were up to my magic wand, he would be with you full time. You and Prince sound like you belong to each other, ya know?

I can only hope that if you really have a gentle, honest, forthright conversation w/ your daughter, that she will then understand your love for Prince and would be willing to let you have some meaningful time with him. If I was her, and you told me your heart was kind of breaking/aching bc you couldn't spend time with him anymore...well, I would then sure be open to sharing more of him with you.

What about exploring ideas with her like...you taking him for some weekends? Or splitting half-weeks with her? Or taking him every other week?

My gut says that the couple don't *truly* want this little man in the same way that YOU do....I feel this bc his coat is somewhat neglected and bc he seems "lethargic" and un-engaged/sad.

I SO hope she will open her heart, be honest, and allow you to love this little man to your heart's content. What a GREAT Christmas present that would be, eh? In fact, maybe you should tell her that's all you want for Xmas, is time w/ your beloved grandpuppy.

I completely agree with you and that is also super advice !!! Good luck sir and I will say a prayer for you . Please let us know how it turns out.

matese · 12-13-2015, 03:14 PM

Welcome to YT, sad that it is under this very sad situation, all I can say is just "WOW". You are certainly not being foolish expressing your love and worry for this little boy, Wylie's Mom gave excellent suggestion as did
Kerryn915, Sharonsnowbird beat me to the punch of suggesting you buy her a puppy and your daughter give you Prince, you can say a new puppy will be better age wise for this puppy she just got. I don't want to hurt your feelings, or make you feel worse then you are feeling, and not meaning to insult your daughter by saying, it was so unfair of your daughter to take little prince away from you after 9 years of him being in your total care, not good for the dog, not good for you. I can feel your devastation in your post and my heart bleeds for you. If your daughter is not in agreement with your little talk with her, maybe think about getting your own little boy. No dog can / will replace little Prince, that is not the intention. You will always love Prince, but if you cannot see him and be a bigger part of his life, do it for yourself open your heart to another baby, your own baby. There are so many yorkies in shelters that have been cast out of their owners lives for what ever the reason looking for a loving dad such as you. Please think of adopting or if you want a baby find a qualified breeder and buy a wee little baby. Either way, you are tearing your heart out. (((hugs))))

yorkiemini · 12-13-2015, 04:49 PM

So sorry for your situation.
Does the couple work? Could you offer to keep the pup while they are at work? Or as others have said maybe have him every other weekend.

Best of luck!

dgt02 · 12-13-2015, 04:56 PM

Thank you everyone so much. There is a lot of good ideas here and I will try and use your wisdom and tread lightly, hoping for the best. Thanks so much for your great ideas.

12-12-2015, 02:38 PM	#1
dgt02 YorkieTalk Newbie! Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Connecticut, USA Posts: 9	Torn apart I am feeling like I have abandoned a little Yorkie I consider my first grandchild (yes I love animals, especially my buddies/dogs). I found out about the love of Yorkies. My daughters third previous boyfriend bought her the dog 9 years ago when he was in Afghanistan serving in the military. My daughter was only 18 at the time and relied on me to bring him up and I did so as a father would do. They broke up after she cheated on him and I took care of my little boy for nine years. Now my daughter has another boyfriend who has influenced her to tear the dog I love away. We used to share the dog, mostly due to the fact my daughter was partying but understanding we had a loved and a shared Yorkie member of the family. Now after the new boyfriend who is cold, I have not seen my little boy for two months and he is lethargic and not looking well. It's breaking my heart. I love my daughter but she has no regard for my heart and just shuts me off from my first grandchild (I know it sounds silly, but I love the Yorkie too). I love my daughter but poor little Prince has become lethargic and does not look well. The Yorkie is 9 years old and not well suited to medications and just received a double whammy of a tick bite in their care and then due to a new puppy from the cold boyfriend and a puppy he bought after moving in with her also ended up Kennel Cough antibiotics and I am worried for the little mans health. I feel helpless as I have no support from my wife that just wants to keep everyone happy. I have always supported my son and daughter giving up my pension to zero so they could go to college but I am feeling really sad about the health of my first grandchild Yorkie Prince (yes, I love that dog dearly). I am considering telling my daughter how cold she is but have nobody to talk to so I'm asking here what people (loving women) think. Am I just selfish? I can see how his health is diminished and is is tearing my heat apeart. As a father, I don't know what to do as I love my daughter too and she has a new boyfriend I like, but he is in my opinion simply performing a turf war. I wanted to give Price a bath today when they came because the little man was raged and they lied saying he has a bath Monday. I know they lied to me and his poor eyes were wet and red. Should I just mind my own business? It's breaking my heart. Should I just let it go? I need some mothers to tell me if I am a jerk or if I should gently speak up to my daughter and wife. Prince is not looking well and I am very worried. It's tearing me inside.

12-13-2015, 06:02 AM	#2
sugarmamma Donating YT 18K Club Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Yorkie Zoo Posts: 34,152	I'm sorry that this has happened to you. I don't understand people putting their wants ahead of the wants and needs of an animal that depends on them. 9 years is a long time to raise and love a dog only to have it ripped away. I'm sorry. Does your daughter love this dog? Is he in a good home now? Will they let you at least babysit him? Again, I'm very sorry. Heartbreaking. __________________ Lisa, Mom to Curri Bee Vindi Loo Tikka Masala Sugar Baby

12-13-2015, 07:10 AM	#5
Wylie's Mom Furbutts = LOVE Donating Member Moderator Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 35,889 Blog Entries: 2	Hi and welcome to YT . I'm sorry it's under these sad circumstances, but I hope you find some support and understanding and compassion here. I must say that to me, you sound just incredibly wonderful and I think you're awesome! To love this little man this much, and truly consider him your grandpuppy (as my in-laws consider ours too , which I love!)...well, it just breaks my heart that he is not with you. If it were up to my magic wand, he would be with you full time. You and Prince sound like you belong to each other, ya know? I can only hope that if you really have a gentle, honest, forthright conversation w/ your daughter, that she will then understand your love for Prince and would be willing to let you have some meaningful time with him. If I was her, and you told me your heart was kind of breaking/aching bc you couldn't spend time with him anymore...well, I would then sure be open to sharing more of him with you. What about exploring ideas with her like...you taking him for some weekends? Or splitting half-weeks with her? Or taking him every other week? My gut says that the couple don't truly want this little man in the same way that YOU do....I feel this bc his coat is somewhat neglected and bc he seems "lethargic" and un-engaged/sad. I SO hope she will open her heart, be honest, and allow you to love this little man to your heart's content. What a GREAT Christmas present that would be, eh? In fact, maybe you should tell her that's all you want for Xmas, is time w/ your beloved grandpuppy. __________________ ~ A friend told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn. ~ °¨¨¨°ºOº°¨¨¨° Ann \| Pfeiffer \| Marcel Verdel Purcell \| Wylie \| Artie °¨¨¨°ºOº°¨¨¨°

12-13-2015, 08:28 AM	#6
SharonSnowbird YT Addict Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: B.C. and Scottsdale, AZ Posts: 481	Am so very sorry to hear of your very sad situation. My heart breaks for you. Wylie's mom gave you some excellent ideas. I don't understand how someone can tear a dog away from someone that has raised them for so many years. I would have a heart to heart talk with her as Wylie's mom suggested and tell her how much you love him and that you are so sad without him. Maybe offer to buy her a new puppy of her choice? Tell her that would be the best Christmas present for both of you, she giving you Prince back, and you buying her a new puppy to love. I wish you the very best of luck in resolving this very sad situation. If she will not give Prince back, maybe you could buy a new puppy to love? You sound like you would be the best father ever, and how very lucky a puppy would be to have a life with you. You will come to love the new puppy very much also. __________________ Lucky Mom to my Precious Lacy! .......... RIP Tiffany and Chanel and Lacy #1

12-13-2015, 03:14 PM	#8
matese Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: E.Stroudsburg, Pa. Posts: 67,956	Welcome to YT, sad that it is under this very sad situation, all I can say is just "WOW". You are certainly not being foolish expressing your love and worry for this little boy, Wylie's Mom gave excellent suggestion as did Kerryn915, Sharonsnowbird beat me to the punch of suggesting you buy her a puppy and your daughter give you Prince, you can say a new puppy will be better age wise for this puppy she just got. I don't want to hurt your feelings, or make you feel worse then you are feeling, and not meaning to insult your daughter by saying, it was so unfair of your daughter to take little prince away from you after 9 years of him being in your total care, not good for the dog, not good for you. I can feel your devastation in your post and my heart bleeds for you. If your daughter is not in agreement with your little talk with her, maybe think about getting your own little boy. No dog can / will replace little Prince, that is not the intention. You will always love Prince, but if you cannot see him and be a bigger part of his life, do it for yourself open your heart to another baby, your own baby. There are so many yorkies in shelters that have been cast out of their owners lives for what ever the reason looking for a loving dad such as you. Please think of adopting or if you want a baby find a qualified breeder and buy a wee little baby. Either way, you are tearing your heart out. (((hugs)))) __________________ Joan, mom to Cody RIP Matese Schnae Kajon Kia forever in my A House Is Not A Home Without A Dog

12-13-2015, 06:47 AM	#3
Kerryn915 YT Addict Join Date: May 2014 Location: Fishkill, ny, USA Posts: 487	Maybe she will be understanding. If I were you I would talk to her and let her know how your heart is broken. Some people don't understand the connection and bond that we sometimes form with our beloved pets. Make sure you don't insult her by saying that you don't feel she is caring for the dog properly. Make it more about you and how much you need him and miss him. Don't tell her that he seems lethargic and not himself Bc she might then get defensive. Good luck and I hope you get to see the dog soon. Maybe you could work out a joint custody arrangement. This was she will see how much he loves you and wants to be with you. She might be open to leaving him with you more often.

12-13-2015, 06:54 AM	#4
dgt02 YorkieTalk Newbie! Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Connecticut, USA Posts: 9	Thank you Sugarmamma. I would say he is in a good home but when I saw him yesterday for the first time in a month he was sad and lathargic and seemed sick although he had just been through Kennel Cough. The frustrating part is I always took him to the vet for nine years but now I don't have any way to even see him. One month ago when I picked him up from my daughters condo the little guy was dancing and whining happily with excitement but yeserday he would barely look at me. The only thing that is new is the boyfriend moved in to my daughters condo so it seems like a power struggle at the expense of the happiness of Prince. I always paid for everything for Prince and he was never sick before the boyfriend bougjt a puppy. Prince cannot handle medications anc shots well at all. The last time he was groomed was when I did it so that is bothering me too. I have told my daughter we need to talk about this and she noaw knows I am not pleased but I am not optimistic the little guy will ever be the same. I may be overeacting but I know Prince as he is like my first grandchild. Thanks again for caring. I used to sit him for days or weeks at a gime but now less tban a day to none for tbe last month after the boyfriend moved in.

12-13-2015, 04:49 PM	#9
yorkiemini Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: USA Posts: 4,285	So sorry for your situation. Does the couple work? Could you offer to keep the pup while they are at work? Or as others have said maybe have him every other weekend. Best of luck! __________________ . Cali , and Cali's keeper and staff, Jay No, not a "mini" Yorkie - She loves to motor in her Mini Cooper car

12-13-2015, 04:56 PM	#10
dgt02 YorkieTalk Newbie! Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Connecticut, USA Posts: 9	Thank you everyone so much. There is a lot of good ideas here and I will try and use your wisdom and tread lightly, hoping for the best. Thanks so much for your great ideas.