Frustrated!!!

[Mayzoo]

Originally Posted by Cindy_17

I hate to lie BUT I am with you when it comes to my babies health. Whatever it takes! This actually could work! Thank you for this suggestion! And while I'm lying I could give her a list of healthy foods per the "vet" haha! If your going to do it do it big! Lol! Thanks again!

If you have a good relationship with your vet odds are he would write out orders not too different from what you are already doing if you explained the situation. That way you are not even lying. What vet wants their patients getting Pepsi, candy bars and chocolate? Can't hurt to ask at your next appt for the dietary restriction list anyhoo

[Cindy_17]

Originally Posted by Mayzoo

If you have a good relationship with your vet odds are he would write out orders not too different from what you are already doing if you explained the situation. That way you are not even lying. What vet wants their patients getting Pepsi, candy bars and chocolate? Can't hurt to ask at your next appt for the dietary restriction list anyhoo

That is a good idea, I love our vet and I'm sure she will help me out! Thanks!

[Heartxxxxx]

My 2.8 pound Yorkie is so fussy when it comes to food, She will eat people food, peas are her favorite. She picks at her dry food maybe eating 4 kibbles a day. I try to give her wet food but cant find an thing she really likes. Any suggestions?

[softlyspeaks]

Hello frustrated Cindy,
I hope that what I write can be of some help for you regarding your MIL. If I understand correctly, she has now moved close by you. Does she live with you? Is she bringing her dogs over to your house and likewise you are taking your dogs to her house?

Interesting enough, MIL's are people too I have also had a very frustrating relationship with my own MIL. A few years ago, when I became a MIL, I was determined to figure out this role and NOT have a similar relationship with my DIL's. What I learned is that you two don't have to be friends. There is respect for her as your husband's mother and grandmother to your children. There is a place for her to be part of their lives. If a MIL has a problem with her DIL, she talks to her son. So if I have a big problem with one of my DIL's, I speak to my son and he can talk to her and vis versa. MIL's are not your mother, you have a mother and as I feel, I don't need another mother.

With regards to your pets. MIL gets to do whatever she wants to with her pets. You do not need to change her. You get to do as you like with your pets and MIL does not get to change you. If this is difficult for your MIL to understand, ask your husband to please explain to his mother, that your dogs have special health needs and you have to limit their diet to keep them healthy to avoid liver, eye and skin problems, what ever it may be. Have him let her know that it is annoying to you to have her question how you treat your dogs. Now if MIL appreciates the way you are raising your dogs, than perhaps you will influence her to treat her own pets differently but it is NOT your place to change her. Isn't that a great relief!

I was the first to get a yorkie and my DIL, who I am blessed to have an amazing friendship with(thank you God!) had to have one like me. She wasn't able to afford to buy a puppy from the same breeder as myself and bought one from a friend. I warned her that she needed to feed her dog a special diet etc etc. She hasn't done that and her dog has lots of skin problems. When she asked me what she could do naturally for fleas and the skin rash, she did what I suggested. His fur is ok but if she fed him a better diet, he could look better. See what i mean. I let her know in advance of buying the puppy and then after she decides, it's up to her. She asked for my help and opinion. We aren't guaranteed the opportunity to voice unsolicited advice and we certainly are not given the right to control or burden the other person with what we would do because we feel our way is better.

[navillusc]

I am not certain that a "good weight" necessarily means a "healthy dog" so I feed my furry babies based on ingredients, trying to feed them 'clean' and 'natural' nutrition, and I am not very appreciative of having unwanted items fed to them without my permission. I am fortunate that my furry kids do not like most things that 'strangers' try to give them.

I can very much sympathize with you...and since it's your MIL, it is even worse, perhaps. I hope you can come to terms with her and at least get her to respect your wishes for your dogs.

Since it is very difficult to get 'clean' food for humans or pets, perhaps you want to give your MIL the link to the pet food database so she can check out what she is feeding her precious pet...the ingredients/chemicals are the same in people food, although not everything put in dog food shows up in people food...but it might be a place to start her thinking about what that baby is eating. Here is the link from my thread:

DOG FOOD INGREDIENTS: THE FIRST SEARCHABLE LIST!

For sure, try not to become overly emotionally involved in trying to 'change' her views/ways of feeding. I think it will mostly stress you more, and for what reason should you be further stressed? The 'facts' as told by an 'objective source' often speak a language to those close to us that we cannot...LOL

Good luck!

[Cindy_17]

There are others that may have better suggestions than me, but I will tell you what I feed mine. I free feed Royal Canine dry, 3-4 nights a week I will split a can of Royal Canine wet in the little cans or Wellness Petite Entrees, or I will boil some chicken tenders with no seasoning. I do not play the picky game with mine, if they turn their nose up to it and not eat it I do not go scouring for something else. Doing this I have had no problems with their eating or not eating. I stay consistent with their food. I give them cheese, green beans, sweet peas or Cheerios for snacks/treats. Keeping my babies healthy is my biggest priority, I know they are getting quality kibble and healthy foods, they probably get bored with their choices or lack thereof, I had just rather spoil them in other areas like toys and outings. How old is your baby? What kibble are you feeding? I think I have read where others were having problems with their babies eating the kibble and they would sprinkle Parmesan cheese on top, this may be an idea to help. I would try just a little to begin with though

[Maximo]

Originally Posted by Cindy_17

Thank you, I know exactly about being cautious about their foods, I am super careful! LOL mine probably would love to be adopted out at dinner times haha! I worry as well about making them sick and do not want it to be at my hand that they get sick.

You are right on with feeling pressure, but I won't cave, I can be stubborn as a mule if I must, it just gets old...They are around her daily and I have to watch her like a hawk, I have caught her numerous times and we have had words about it but she thinks she is right and totally disregards what I say- that is the fuel to the fire so to speak

You have my sympathy having to deal with family feeding something you do not approve. I'm thankful that my family is too scared to feed my doggies anything. We have challenges in other areas, so I understand the frustration.

Also, people at pet stores and other places try to give my dogs treats that I don't allow. I get a little grief when I say my doggies can't have it. I know the people mean well, but thankfully my boys are suspicious of anything a stranger gives them.

[Cindy_17]

Originally Posted by navillusc

I am not certain that a "good weight" necessarily means a "healthy dog" so I feed my furry babies based on ingredients, trying to feed them 'clean' and 'natural' nutrition, and I am not very appreciative of having unwanted items fed to them without my permission. I am fortunate that my furry kids do not like most things that 'strangers' try to give them.

I can very much sympathize with you...and since it's your MIL, it is even worse, perhaps. I hope you can come to terms with her and at least get her to respect your wishes for your dogs.

Since it is very difficult to get 'clean' food for humans or pets, perhaps you want to give your MIL the link to the pet food database so she can check out what she is feeding her precious pet...the ingredients/chemicals are the same in people food, although not everything put in dog food shows up in people food...but it might be a place to start her thinking about what that baby is eating. Here is the link from my thread:

DOG FOOD INGREDIENTS: THE FIRST SEARCHABLE LIST!

For sure, try not to become overly emotionally involved in trying to 'change' her views/ways of feeding. I think it will mostly stress you more, and for what reason should you be further stressed? The 'facts' as told by an 'objective source' often speak a language to those close to us that we cannot...LOL

Good luck!

Thank you for this link and you kind words. I agree a healthy weight does not mean healthy dog. Absolutely on another source can get through to those close to us better than we can ourselves.

[Cindy_17]

Originally Posted by softlyspeaks

Hello frustrated Cindy,
I hope that what I write can be of some help for you regarding your MIL. If I understand correctly, she has now moved close by you. Does she live with you? Is she bringing her dogs over to your house and likewise you are taking your dogs to her house?

Interesting enough, MIL's are people too I have also had a very frustrating relationship with my own MIL. A few years ago, when I became a MIL, I was determined to figure out this role and NOT have a similar relationship with my DIL's. What I learned is that you two don't have to be friends. There is respect for her as your husband's mother and grandmother to your children. There is a place for her to be part of their lives. If a MIL has a problem with her DIL, she talks to her son. So if I have a big problem with one of my DIL's, I speak to my son and he can talk to her and vis versa. MIL's are not your mother, you have a mother and as I feel, I don't need another mother.

With regards to your pets. MIL gets to do whatever she wants to with her pets. You do not need to change her. You get to do as you like with your pets and MIL does not get to change you. If this is difficult for your MIL to understand, ask your husband to please explain to his mother, that your dogs have special health needs and you have to limit their diet to keep them healthy to avoid liver, eye and skin problems, what ever it may be. Have him let her know that it is annoying to you to have her question how you treat your dogs. Now if MIL appreciates the way you are raising your dogs, than perhaps you will influence her to treat her own pets differently but it is NOT your place to change her. Isn't that a great relief!

I was the first to get a yorkie and my DIL, who I am blessed to have an amazing friendship with(thank you God!) had to have one like me. She wasn't able to afford to buy a puppy from the same breeder as myself and bought one from a friend. I warned her that she needed to feed her dog a special diet etc etc. She hasn't done that and her dog has lots of skin problems. When she asked me what she could do naturally for fleas and the skin rash, she did what I suggested. His fur is ok but if she fed him a better diet, he could look better. See what i mean. I let her know in advance of buying the puppy and then after she decides, it's up to her. She asked for my help and opinion. We aren't guaranteed the opportunity to voice unsolicited advice and we certainly are not given the right to control or burden the other person with what we would do because we feel our way is better.

First off I am very well aware that MILs are "people too", otherwise I would not be the one that gets her to and from doctors appointments and where she needs to be, in which I am grateful for the opportunity to be able to help her! I cherish her life stories and experiences. Yes we are around each other's dogs daily, and mine do not have health problems, I feed them the way I do to do what I can to prevent health problems! To me that is common sense, to others not so much! You also missed that it is HER unsolicited advice that I am fighting as she thinks it is ridiculous NOT to feed any and everything that falls out of the refrigerator or pantry. And it is also HER that is slipping MY dogs food KNOWING I do not allow it. It is a new situation I find myself in, seeking advice on how to handle it respectfully and also not in trying to "change" her but to show her alternatives for her dog as well, as if he gets sick it will be ME taking care of him...She will be 76 in a couple of months, and I was raised to have respect for ALL my elders! Just because we are having this struggle in no way means that I disrespect her or wish to change WHO she is! BUT when it comes to MY dogs and going against my wishes deliberately I WILL do what it takes to protect them, I am the only voice they have! I have already taken Yorkiemoms advice as of yesterday as far as telling her PER Vet orders that they are not to have this that and the other. If she still continues to "slip" my dogs unhealthy foods I will at that time become much more vocal and I don't need a man (her son, my husband) to do this for me, I'm quite capable.

[Cindy_17]

Originally Posted by Maximo

You have my sympathy having to deal with family feeding something you do not approve. I'm thankful that my family is too scared to feed my doggies anything. We have challenges in other areas, so I understand the frustration.

Also, people at pet stores and other places try to give my dogs treats that I don't allow. I get a little grief when I say my doggies can't have it. I know the people mean well, but thankfully my boys are suspicious of anything a stranger gives them.

Thank you so much for feeling my pain! I think that I am going to have to get much more vocal if she does not heed what I told her regarding "per vet orders".
Adjustments are at times a struggle and this is definitely a year of adjustments for us. I already dread the holidays when the whole family will come with her being here now...I will hold my thoughts on that right now...

I don't allow pet stores to give treats to mine either and our bank gives treats too...I have one (Holly) that will take anything from anyone but luckily (like you) Presley is more hesitant to take from strangers, I just pray he stays that way! Another thing that grates my nerves is when I have them out is children rush up on their stroller and have hands and arms everywhere without asking permission and the mom is just standing there...I will look at her and say if these were pit bulls do you allow them to rush up to the dogs screaming and squealing??? It is all a matter of one word respect, so many just don't get it...

[softlyspeaks]

Well said for you Cindy, it wasn't my intention to set you off even more. Many of my statements were questions as I don't know you, was trying to share what I had learned from my own experiences. I am not confrontational and have no problem having my husband speak up for me. Choose your own battles and if it works for you, good for you. Sorry your MIL is disrespectful to you.