Thank you!
 

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and comforting words. I am sorry about your precious Charlie. I have to agree that i feel it will ALWAYS be painful to think about my Baxter for the forseeable future. He was truly the spunky light of the household. He would bark at everyone and everything. His favorite spot was in the front window watching everyone and everything come and go. His "favorite" was the UPS truck, no matter whose house it was going to. We live at the end of a cul-de-sac street and we knew the UPS bark every day! He was the "loud" one of our two Yorkies. Our 6 year old female is really quiet. So the house is so different without our beloved Baxter. But it was nice to write a little about his "antics." Thank you for taking the time to share and to send me comfort. Just answering all the people who have so graciously given time to write to me helps to passm minutes, then hours, then another day goes by - another day toward healing to a point where the pain isn't searing and the grief so overwhelming.
Chrissy

Keep on taking it day at a time and after a while, little by little your anger begins to diminish and you gradually forgive yourself - even though it wasn't your fault. We almost always fault ourselves for not seeing that our baby was more ill than we thought. And there is always great anger when the vet misses it. Vets can save our dogs and get them through the worst of the worst times far more times than not but they do miss things - it's an awful truth. It grinds at us endlessly when they do miss something vital but in time, we realize had the vet seen anything that truly alarmed him or made him think in any way our baby was so seriously ill, if he was a really good vet, we know he would have taken further steps to test, add more treatment or hospitalize. Good vets want to help all of their little patients.

Once you get past the shock and begin to lose the anger and time passes, a human will instinctively begin to slowly heal from grief. A healthy human body and mind are programmed to heal. And in time, our mind and body urge us to begin to do just that - to reach out from grief and constant sadness to life and hope, a path forward. At some point the horror begins to recede and wonderful memories of Baxter will slide into place, become sweet rather than so painful. Make no mistake, you'll still cry and grieve but life will begin to have meaning and some fun in it again.

As you heal, you appreciate what you have left that means so much to you all the more and take great pains to show that appreciation, give more of yourself where you can. You've got little Kaylee there who is likely still going through her loss of a packmate and so needs you to help her adjust to the new reality of being an only-dog.

Hopefully, if you keep on talking about Baxter and your grief, begin to get out more often and giving Kaylee extra time and attention, teasing her out of herself, you'll start to feel better before too long. Remember, Baxter would want more than anything for you to be happy and whole again. Hugs to you and Kaylee - hope her biopsy results are good.

Hi Chrissy, sorry it has taken me awhile to respond tonight, I have been working on my dreaded taxes. To answer your question Jingle blessed me with 7 wonderful years, I felt very cheated at first, because it does not seem fair and anger and shock are perfect words to describe it. Now I know having Jingle for 7 years was better than never having him at all. He was perfect in everyway to me! Keep your head up and keep Kaylee tucked in tight with you, one minute at a time...

If I let myself think about it I can cry about the loss of pets I had decades ago. I am one of those who cry very easily about sad situations that I am not even part of. When my 15 year old pup died I was devastated and cried every time I though about him. There comes a point, however, when I had to start to let go. Death happens to people and pets for reasons we can sometimes never figure out. If we continue to dwell on the tragedies and sad situations that happen in life we will cause ourselves to stay in depression.

I do not believe that God took your pet. God is good and does not cause sickness. We live in a fallen world in which disease and tragedy happens and we that are left behind have to learn to deal with it. I am not saying that you should not be sad about the loss of your pet. I and many others on this forum have been there and not that long ago either. I am just saying that we eventually have to accept what has happened and move on.

Try to find other things to do and think about. Try to get out and experience nature. It can be very healing. Maybe a new pet? Maybe saving some poor soul from a shelter or rescue would help you to concentrate on other things. Getting involved in something new will help your mind to stop dwelling on what happened and when you do that you will find the pain less severe. Your memory of him will never go away but try to make them good memories and not just the last moments of his life.

We can control our thoughts when we put effort into it and it is never harder then when tragedy strikes, but we have to fight back and not let it destroy us.

Well said....that's what healing is all about....even though we don't want to or feel like it.....

Brilliantly said. Couldn't agree more.

Thank you!
 

Your many words of comfort and compassion are deeply appreciated. Tomorrow marks 7 weeks that my Baxter has been gone. And although I do still cry, I have to be honest and say that being a part of this YorkieTalk community has truly helped me to spend minutes, hours of distraction. And that is all starting to slowly make things more manageable without breaking down. I too believe that the human body is made to heal from grief and tragedy. And the issue becomes that there is always a FIRST TIME in a persons life where that grief from a death that resulted is overwhelming and you wonder how you will EVER get through it. I LITERALLY NEVER lost anything that I loved so much. I have been lucky in that respect. I have to remember what you said, that my Baxter (who was so lively, "the life of the party" and happy) would not want me to carry on like this. It is easier said than done, but if I keep thinking & saying it, then hopefully I will one day naturally "really feel" that way. Thank you for all the compassion and time you have taken to reach out to a stranger. I sincerelyl appreciate it!


Chrissy

I took the death of my first Yorkie, Scotty, so hard I missed 4 days from work - and for some reason, my boss and an office of co-workers understood. I'd never lost a dog that meant that much to me before - it was so unexpected and out of the blue that I was thrown for a loop. It took me years before I could think about getting my own personal dog again, though I had fosters and rehab dogs and trained dogs from time-to-time but never could really bond with any dog that wasn't my Scotty. I was so wrong to let myself stay that way.

Now I know the best thing for most of us to do is probably find another dog needing a home within a few weeks or months and not stay Yorkieless for so long ever again. At least you have your Kaylee but no two dog relationships are exactly alike. Some dogs just get so close to you - like all of my Yorkies have - that it's not quite the same somehow. And all three were very different dogs, but Jilly, my last Yorkie, and Tibbe are completely unalike - total opposites but I love him every bit as much as I did her. I've always had dogs in my life and so adored each of them but loved two others especially - my beautiful Doberman, Cobra and her son, C, but I've not been closer to any dog I've had as I have my three successive Yorkies - there's just something about those little toots that totally captures my heart, from Scotty, to Jilly and now Tibbe.

I'll be praying that one day before long you'll find a way out of this grief and begin to enjoy life again.

I have been thinking about you, Chrissy. I hope each new day brings healing. I think it sometimes gets more difficult to cope with before it gets easier.

I found so much strength from special people like Jeanie. She joined eight months after I lost Ashley, but from her first posts I knew she was special. She is very wise and compassionate, and is one of my favorite people on Yorkietalk. From her vivid stories of him, I feel like I know Jeanie's Tibbe, and he has really captured my heart. I hope her words help to heal your broken heart. You have received such wonderful advice from so many people here. We truly understand and care. Please continue sharing with us. Katie came to us because of our dear friends from YorkieTalk, and she and our Yorkietalk friendships have been the best medicine for us. Give Kaylee some extra kisses from me.

Oh, how sweet, Lisa. It's good to know I was one of the many who helped in some way your beginning to heal after losing Ashley. Everyone could tell that her death just about wiped you out and you did seem so utterly sad. You just feel like your best friend is gone forever and nothing will ever be the same or ever as good when you lose a beloved dog, don't you? But once we found out you'd gotten beautiful Katie, and got so suddenly over-the-top happy, it was wonderful to watch you blooming again. And all those beautiful pictures you took of her - you were so in love and wanted to share her the best you could. I fell in total love with her from afar. You're a perfect example of how hard grief is to bear and how well healing works to save us.

Many thanks!
 

Thank you again for taking time once more to reach out to comfort me. This site is amazing and has truly helped me this last week. It has become a "very welcome distraction" and I find myself waiting to hear from people like you with words of comfort, stories of your own to share, and for me to take the time to send each of you thanks has taken up quite a bit of time I otherwise would have been sitting frozen and numb on my couch crying. The pain I feel is still deep and I find myself thinking about my Baxter almost subconsciously every second of the day. But communicating on this site with others, puts those thoughts "in the back of my mind" for a few minutes here and there while I correspond. Thankk you again. Your thoughts and compassion are so appreciated.
Chrissy

Thank you !
 

I am very sorry for the loss of your beloved Yorkie also in February like my precious one. It has gotten just a tiny bit better just starting this week. Part of that has come from corresponding with all of you compassionate people, who some in their own grief, will take the time out of their day to reach out with even a few words of comfort that mean so much. Not sure if you are up to sharing what happened to your Yorkie? Do you have another at home? I know in the beginning it was so hard to even write about "how it happened," but it is starting to slowly become theraputic to tell it. Maybe it just helps to come to terms with it. Thank you so much!
Chrissy

Thank you!
 

Thank you so much for taking the time to send me your advice and words of comfort. And interestingly it was only today that I was able to share with someone at work how much of a character my Baxter was. Even the groomer he went to for the entire five years we have lived here told me that "he was so unique and sweet and had a little "person" personality like no other she has ever had. I do have my 6 year old yorkie, Kaylee, at home still. We love her just as much but in all honesty I would classify her as "a normal dog." She is not as people friendly and is pretty much afraid of most things like loud noises etc (most dogs do). But our Baxter LOVED 4th of July! We would take him to firework shows and he loved them. Lightning storms, no problem. They wouldn't phase our Baxter, but Kaylee would hide in the darndest places when she heard thunder, and we couldn't even figure out how she fit. I am trying to focus on the fact that we loved our Baxter and gave him the life of a king (as I am sure you all do with your beloved Yorkies) Thank you again for reminding me of that. All of you people who are on this site are amazing and so comforting.

So sorry - and thank you
 

I am so sorry to hear about you losing your first Yorkie when he was only 7. I was feeling so cheated that mine died at 10 1/2 of a bad bacterial infection (exact cause never determined), and then I read your story. I am so sorry. For me it has only been 7 weeks and I am still pretty torn up and emotional about it. I had virtually no sleep the first three weeks and I lost 14 pounds. I am able to eat one meal a day, and I do that at dinner when my husband and son are at the table all together. I too had my precious Baxter cremated. However, my husband had to go pick up his ashes at the vets. I think I seriously might of fainted at the reality and realization that he was acting like a perfect healthy 2 year old puppy (not the 10 1/2 yrs he was) a few weeks before he got sick and then having to pick up his ashes was too much to bear. I started to look on sites at urns and stuff, but it was just too hard. I will have to do it when I am more at peace with what happened. I told my husband that I wanted him to put the ashes somewhere safe and loving in the house, but I still have not even seen how the ashes came home. It would just be disasterous for me to see right now. I am sure when I do, I will be doing exactly what you do, talk to them, kiss them and the pictures and cry. The love was so intense that they truly feel like your children.
I am glad to hear that your new little Yorkie is keeping you busy (and tired). What was your Yorkies name? And what is the new ones name? I have a 6 year old female that we have to keep busy since she has only known life since we brought her home at 12 weeks old with Baxter, because he was 5 years old when we brought her home. So I am sure she is feeling lonely. That does help to keep our minds busy and not just sitting numb and frozen in grief like I did for nearly 3 weeks.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, words of comfort for me, and your compassion. I sincerely appreciate it. If you don't feel like writing back, maybe too painful to write about, I completely understand. Thank you!
Chrissy

dog
 

It helped me to realize that dogs really belong to their Creator. They are with us to give love and comfort and when their little job is done they must go. We must let them go back to the arms of Jesus.

So heartbreaking tears come but remember how blessed you were to have them.

Thank you!
 

.

Thank you for taking the time to send me words of comfort and compassion. I definitely has more bad than good days right now. I have to just keep remembering that even though I only got 10 years with him, some people don't get that many. And of course there are many of those who get 13, 14, 15 or more years, but I have to accept that when it was his time, it was his time. Lord knows if I thought he was that sick I would have moved heaven and earth to try and make him well. Even the vet was wrong on this one!
I appreciate you taking time out of your day to reach out to someoe in their time of need and grief.
Chrissy

I'm so sorry to hear you've still been hurting. Since I last emailed you, our family had to make the hard decision recently to put down our smaller jack russell, Mila. She was around 8-9 years old. The vet strongly believed she had diabetes and was very sick. The cost to not only try to save her by taking her to a university (and that wasn't 100% guaranteed) would've been 2k-3k and afterwards, she might need a strict schedule of medicine and feedings as well for the rest of her life. To stray from it would land her back in the vet. Since she was my more my mother's furbaby, she had to make the final decision (even though I was willing and have tried to make the arrangements have her treated).
In the end she chose to let her go. It was a hard and long decision, but we at least had the chance to say a proper goodbye and to give her a quick and painless end. I believe having that closer and being able to offer a peaceful end has made it easier for me, especially my mother, to be at peace with it. Trust me, it's worse watching them suffer and not being able to do anything about it, at all (and we've been through that more than we'd like to).