Dear Mom and/or Dad or Sister/Brother,

[SirTeddykins]

Dear Mom,


You consider yourself an intellectual but you are clearly stupid for the following reasons:


You can't take a hint regarding when I'm hungry
You spend more time on my hair than yours
You think the cat loves you but he uses you for food and bullies me
You think petting me and calling me Squishy Face makes up for these wrongs

[mygirllacey]

Dear Mom,
Why have you cut back on my Orijen? I'm not fat! I'm fun size!
Why did you give me a puppy for Christmas! Did I ask for one???? Is it too late to return him, get a refund and buy me toys instead? Speaking of toys, why did you just give that silly pup my stuffed Lamb Chop. Lamb Chop is mine, mine, mine!
Dear Pepper Jack, if you bite my ear one more time, I'm going to flip you like a pancake. And keep your scrawny white butt out of my bed.
Dear Silkie the cat...what's with all the hair? I can't even sniff the floor without getting hair up my nose. The only thing good about you is your poop and Mom won't let me have any.

Lacey

Dear Mom,

I'm trying to get used to you, but you're kind of bald and scary. Where's all your fur? Why do you seem so upset at finding my special presents? You said this was my home now and I'm just claiming my space. And what was with putting me in the sink of water and getting me wet. Could you not hear my protests. Was I not loud enough or are you hearing impaired? Don't worry, we will work on YOUR training.
Dear Lacey...Yes, you are fat, but that's OK, because there's more for me to chew on. Pssst..I chewed a hole in Lamb Chop and his stuffing came out.
Dear Silkie the cat...You have a lousy disposition. Why do you keep swatting me when I just want to play. I hope you get mats in your fur.

Pepper Jack.

[Cherie6446]

I am loving these letters.

[Bibber]

Dear Mom and Dad (aka indispensable roommates):

Must make this quick because I think someone or dog is trying to steal the treats and chewy things (which I acknowledge you gave me) that I have ingeniously stashed everywhere like between the couch cushions, in the corner of the living room under dug-up soil that only I can see, in the middle of the living room under dug-up soil only I can see, and in your sneakers.

Thank you for not rushing me when I want to smell a scent on the sidewalk for too long; finally being okay with not redoing my usually crooked topknot because I wiggle too much; putting me on your bed after no more than four huffy howls; letting me argue loudly with dogs who dare show up on the TV (unless it's a video of me which I love to watch); taking the time to debate amongst yourselves whom I love more; constantly play fighting or playing fetch with me because it is just so fun; and petting me for no more than five minutes at a stretch since you are understanding of my hopefully-only-puppy-related attention deficit disorder coupled with my extreme nosiness.

Gotta go zip zip now - things to do, places to see, people/dogs to track. See ya in another five minutes or so.

Love,
Periwinkle

PS Thank you for loving my Yorkie-ness!

[Opium88]

Hey Lady- it's NOT stealing if it never leaves the house. You are ruining my image and giving me a bad reputation with all this "Toby's a thief" business. Who's side are you on anyway! None of THOSE people would be willing to use their bare tongue for the sole sake of cleaning your ears. Not one of them! And do you realize how far it is to have to go outside to pee? Especially when it's cold. I never see you pee outside. What kind of example are you setting? And I don't see what the big deal is about me defecating on the stairs. At least I chose an area nobody ever kicks it in. And it's always lit up so you don't step in it. I think that was quite courteous of me, yet I get no recognition to speak of. Oh and this business with letting strangers touch me underneath my paws has got to stop. I will live up to my Yorkshire Terrorist nickname if I have to... Just sayin. I almost forgot! Thanks for feeding me lots and not making me do humiliating tricks like izzy has to. You rock !
Love, Toby the Tyrant


Mama, I just want to say that I appreciate the way you bitch everyone around in the house and make them do everything for you if I am asleep on your lap so as not to disturb my slumber. That's sweet. And when you do actually have to get up yourself I think it's awful thoughtful of you to press me close so I can stay in the exact position until you sit back down again. Maybe you should explain this process to dad... He doesn't make it easy to mistake him for a lazy boy recliner. Also, how many shakes does it take to actually "kill it". Cause I get dizzy tryin to "kill it" for you, but it never works. The squeak is too strong. I am sorry . Also, how is it fair if you can kiss me all you want but every time I try to suction your nostrils or ear with my super lightning fast tongue you tell me "NO FACE!!" I can't take you to the groomers so someone's gotta make sure you are presentable. Oh and Toby has a point about the stairs. Majority rules. Also, I'm confused, is my name IzzyBizzyBabyBear like you say or is it YoureF*€kinCute! Like dad always calls me? I could have swore I had a much shorter name than that. Oh, and I deserve at least every third bite of everything. Not the last bite. I am a princess , remember? One last thing, please explain to spaz boy Toby that standing on me doesn't mean he wins. I will WRECK that fool and he needs to recognize. Thank you, now sit still so I can sleep.

Love, IzzyBizzyBabyBearYou'rejustsoF*€kinCutePUPPERFACE!