I'm UPSET with my Yorkies!

[tinyterroriers]

I've had Scooter and Jilly for over 7 years. When I got Scooter, I had another Yorkie, Roxy, who was her BFF. Roxy died from anaphalaxic shock from a bee sting. Scooter really never got over her death, and it as if she blames me for Roxy "leaving." I think whenever she goes out for a walk, or goes to Petsmart, that she's looking for Roxy.

I got Jilly to keep Scooter company, but the hate each other. They do nothing together, and won't play together, or socialize in any way.

Now, they have become increasingly standoffish. They have never been overly loving, but they act like all they want from me is food. They got so fat that I had to put them on a diet, and they're really not happy with the small amount of food they're getting.

They don't want to play; they don't want to go for a walk; they just want to sit or lay around -- and ignore me. I have tried cuddling them, I talk sweetly to them, I love them, and I try to show it.

Jilly at least stays in the same room with me. She has beds and pillows, she has steps to climb up to a bed on the sofa with me, but Scooter goes into the bathroom and lays on the bath rug until she decides she's hungry again and then she stands in front of me to let me know she wants to eat. At night, Scooter sleeps in a bed at the bottom of my bathroom closet, and Jilly, although she has a bed right beside mine, usually goes under the bed. Sometimes, she asks to come up and sleeps at the foot of my bed.

And wetting! They were both trained to go out the doggie's door. I send them out through the porch door after they eat. They are let out first thing in the morning and last thing at night by their daddy. This morning, Jilly peed on the kitchen carpet before I could send her out. When I called them to go out, they both took off. I checked the carpet on the back and saw the wet spot. It appears she often does this and I just discovered it.

Last week, I took Scooter to PetSmart with me for an outing. She acted like she was being put upon. They both HATE going to the groomer, and when they come home they act like we tortured them. I give them a bath during the week, and afterward, you'd think I tried to drown them. I'm very careful with them when I bathe them.

Are they just lazy? Bored? They're not sick; they're both healthy. I don't know what I'm doing wrong with them. I have always had dogs -- all breeds -- and I have loved them all so much. But with the other dogs, I could tell it was mutual. They loved me, too. I don't think Scooter and Jilly love me back unless I just don't understand them.

I'm open to any and all ideas that will get them interested in life again.

[QuickSilver]

Sorry to hear you are having trouble.

You say that they don't get along very well. Is it possible that Jilly has basically "won" the right to your company, and Scooter is listening to the dominant dog?

Also, when you say that they act like they are being put upon: does that mean scared? Or something else?

Is there anyone else they've bonded with, like your husband?

Also, anytime I hear of potty trained dogs suddenly having accidents, I think UTI. If it's not that, perhaps Jilly is marking, again to establish her position as top dog. Try cleaning the spot thoroughly with an enzyme cleaner like Nature's Miracle.

[LilyOfTheValley]

Have your vet check their thyroid gland. If it is underactive, he will put them on an inexpensive medication and in a few weeks the turnaround will seem miraculous.

In fact, it probably would not hurt to have your vet run detailed labs on them. If he finds nothing, at least you'll know you've tried everything, but if he finds something, you'll have some answers.

[Mee-sha]

do you try getting down on their level to play with them, i lay on the floor and play fetch down the hall with those tiny kong balls my baby loves them, then i play tug-a-war on her level too my baby won't cuddle but loves to play, maybe they're bored with their toys, try new ones, bullysticks to keep them entertained.my baby acts lieks shes dead if i don't get on the floor and play with her, and give thema bullystick afterwards, maybe they just need more bonding time with you?

[tinyterroriers]

Thanks to all of you for the responses. I truly appreciate it.

Yes, we have some odd dynamics going on. Jilly is the dominant dog; she's younger by one year and I've worked with her to control her bullying, but I've given up on them ever being friends. I just cuddle and kiss them, and whisper lovingly to each of them individually as much as they'll let me. Jill doesn't like to be touched; she gets all "hot" and moans, so I put her down.

Scooter will let me pet her, but she won't stay with me very long. She likes to come up on my lap and have her eyes wiped and drops put in her ears. She does like that attention. I do that every day. But then she goes back into hiding again.

Scooter is the alarm clock; she comes to me and does a dance when it's time to eat and she appears in front of us to tell daddy when it's time for bed. Then, Jilly starts hopping around, too. BUT - Jilly bumps Scooter to make sure she's in line after daddy and to make sure Scooter's in the rear.

My heart breaks for Scooter; I love her so much and she just let
Jill take over. I check on her all day to make sure she's all right. While I take a shower, she likes to sit up on the bed and snuggle into the covers. I wish I could leave her there when I'm done, but I'd be afraid she'd get hurt jumping down, so I put her on the floor when I leave the room.

I have gotten down on the floor to play with them, but as soon as Jilly gets into the act, Scooter withdraws. She won't chase a toy if Jilly is around. They have a ton of toys, many left over from pets who have passed on. Jilly will play with them and has her favorites up on the sofa on her pillow.

I will have them checked out thoroughly when I take them to the vet. They're due for shots, so this will be a good time to do it.

Something happened yesterday that suprised me. After I wrote about my concerns on the board, I fed them and started to take them out to pee-pee. They both ran like hell. That fast, Jilly had already peed on the kitchen rug and Scooter let loose on the pee-pads lined up in front of the porch door. I put the pads there because here in Phoenix, it's just too hot to go out in the afternoon. That's the place they should go, and I don't know why they ran. Anyway, I guess they knew I was feeling badly, because they both wanted to sit on my lap or with me, which is rare! They sit on daddy's lap occasionally, but rarely sit with me. My husband thinks it's because they knew I was upset because they ran when I wanted them to go out, but Scooter always comes to me and lets me cuddle her when I'm feeling down.

I think Jilly is afraid when she leave the house. She pants and moans and groans. She gets hot and stinks! She won't go for a walk. She used to let me take her if I carried her in a soft carry bag. Maybe it's because at home Jilly can control her environment and when she's out, she's at the mercy of others.

Scooter sees it as an adventure; she likes other people and other dogs. She loves going for a walk, but it's way too hot here to walk her. When she's out, she never meets a person or another dog who isn't her friend. Except Jilly.

When she was younger, she loved having the company of my two friends, Carol and Jean. When I told her someone was coming for dinner, she'd get excited -- her ears perked up and her eyes got wide. When they got here, she'd come running and climb on them, giving them kisses. She doesn't do that any more. Now, after I call her a few times, she comes to say hello and just goes back into hiding.

I just want them to be happy! How can a dog who's hiding all day in a dark bathroom, or sleeping in a closet be happy? She seems demoralized. I love them both so much and I want to do whatever will make them happy.

[DBlain]

it sounds like you have had them both for a while, I hate to say it but is sounds like Scooter would have preferred to be an only dog. Everyone always tells me how dogs like to be in packs but I don't believe that is true with every dog, I know one time after 8 months I had to rehome a puppy I had brought into my house because my 3 yr old yorkie would have nothing to do with the younger dog and was making life miserable for the puppy, us and himself. You have had your dogs much longer so I am assuming it is probably not an option for you to rehome Jilly. What I would do is spend time alone with each of them, take Scooter into a room where you can close the door and play without interference from Jilly and put Jilly in a place that she can not be barking and scratching at the door, perhaps if she likes bones or bully sticks she could have that while you have one on one with Scooter. Take Scooter on walks and to the park whenever you can, sounds like Jilly does not like that anyway. Perhaps if scooter is comfortable eating on her own, use that time to play in another room with Jilly, but keep the door closed so each dog gets play time without the other one butting in. Same thing at bed time, ask your husband to pick up Scooter so Jilly can't push her away. For some reason I guess from your posts I really feel sorry for Scooter because it sounds like she is both afraid and frustrated by Jilly pushing her out of the way so she just gives up. I think lots of along time for Scooter and mommy will be very good for the both of you and help build up Scooters self esteem. LOL I will keep your situation in mind the next time I get a little urge to bring Lola home a little sister.

[DBlain]

I was just reading over your comments again, my Reggie also hid under the bed almost the whole time I had the puppy. He would spend most of the day under the bed sulking, he was not afraid though he was the aggressor, but as my husband put it he was mad at us. He also started biting anyone that was near him if the puppy would get in his way. One time I was trying to give them both some scraps of meat and Reggie was so determined not to let the puppy have any that he bit my hand very hard and drew quite a bit of blood. I was furious and with him but more so felt emotionally hurt, like he had just slapped me in the face, I started crying pretty hard because I was so upset. That is around the time we decided we wanted our old Reggie back from under the bed and I started looking for a home for the puppy. In a matter of days life was back to normal and Reggie spent almost no time under the bed. I tried a second puppy again, but this time I had a female and she was not that playful from the get go, she was about a year and a half and I brought in a half sibling male. Murphy accepted him and the two of them got along well but she changed a little bit with me, she was just not as loving, both my husband and parents noticed it, it was like she was a little hurt that I now shared my affection with another pet. I felt bad, but Duffy the male thought I hung the moon and was very playful so I guess that made up for it, and Murphy was still sweet, just not as much. Just give Scooter lots and lots of alone time and perhaps her confidence will come back.

[tinyterroriers]

You are right on target about Jilly. It's too late to find another home for her; actually, she's quite a bit more loving with me than Scooter. However introverted Scooter's personality is now, she wasn't when we first got her. When Roxy was alive, she followed her around, she played with Roxy, and basically, she was Roxy's happy little puppy. She started to decline after Roxy died. I think she just didn't ever get over losing Roxy. I thought she might enjoy having another dog in the house, but they simply HATED each other right off the bat.

I couldn't part with either one of them by choice, but I want them to be happy and that's why I asked for advice. All of your advice has been so helpful, and I will follow your suggestions and recommendations.

I do give each of them individual attention. For example, tomorrow morning we'll take Scooter to Petsmart while Haven Rescue has their puppy adoptions. She likes to "go for a ride," and for a walk, but it's just too hot right now. This is a good substitution. Jilly would prefer to stay home. She hides when I get the harness for Scooter. Scooter gets excited and bouncy!

I guess it's just a problem we have to live with. Bottom line is that I love them, and have room in my heart for both of them.

Thanks again, everyone.

[QuickSilver]

Unfortunately, sometimes adult females just don't get along. At least they are not violent with each other.

It might help to train them to tolerate each other. Have them sit on different sides of the room. Tell one, "wait", and feed the other a treat. Then tell her to "wait" and feed the other one. Switch back and forth, gradually letting them get closer to each other.

I don't know if this exercise will help tremendously, but it wouldn't hurt to try. Best of luck.