Afraid of my Yorkie...

[JaxsonsMommy12]

Originally Posted by julietravels

Change the situation. You are going to someone's house who happens to have a very large snake, spider, or whatever you are deathly afraid of. You don't have a choice, you have to go to this house. This person insists that their large snake, spider, or whatever you are deathly afraid of, won't hurt you and this large snake, spider, or whatever you are deathly of, comes up to you and jumps on you, and everyone insists that it's ok and you need to touch it. How would you feel? Just because we love our dogs, doesn't mean that other people don't have very real fears and fobias. Something to consider.

Very well said & I agree with you!

[Teresa Ford]

I don't think it is up to you to 'do' something about this. Where are this childs parents ? They should deal with their child. Did they ask you to lock up your dog ? I would talk to the parent and see how they plan to handle this, from now on. I know you love this little boy and your Yorkie, I hope this child can learn to love Roxie.

[MidnightUnicorn]

I have a suggestion. If I were in your situation, I would use a Pet-A-Roo. It's a pet carrier that's a front-wearing backpack. I've kept Tatiana in one when we had visitors over. I did it more for her comfort than for my visitors, as she was nervous around people she didn't know. Tatiana loved being in the Pet-A-Roo, and she was completely comfortable. I didn't mind carrying her around. She was light -- about 3 lbs.

I've attended parties with Tatiana in a Pet-A-Roo. People loved it, and petted her. Of course, I introduced myself AND her when we met people.

[gracielove]

I have encountered a few children who are afraid of dogs to the point that they cry if they see one. The one thing I noticed is they do not have animals of their own and usually at least one of the parents or a close relative is also afraid of or just hates dogs. I think the fear can be transferred to a child from another person they have seen react badly to an animal. It really isn't your responsibility to fix this problem. His parents need to deal with it. It certainly is not good for any child to have that kind of anxiety and it would be a shame for him to grow up with this kind of fear. If they sooth his fear then it is the same as telling him it is alright to be afraid of this little animal. They need to continue to show him there is no reason to be afraid and not do anything to encourage the reaction. Maybe they could consult their family physician for help.

[QuickSilver]

Originally Posted by Harrysmum

Ok, this is what I did with my niece, who was a similar age at the time...

It was with our mini Schnauzer (Sam), so slightly larger. Firstly, I didn't keep him away from us all - but I DID keep him on his lead. Then I was in control of who did what, and when.

I made Sam sit next to me, and gave my niece some doggy treats. I told her she didn't have to give them, it was up to her.

We all then carried on with our day as if there was nothing different and nothing 'in the air', but kept Sam, on the lead, next to me at all times.

It didn't happen quickly, but I realised she was rolling some of the treats gently towards him. She jumped and ran away a few times, as Sam reached for them. I think it was the speed, and the little sticky-out tongue....but each time she visited it got gradually better and better. Softly, softly...

May I add, it ended up that they were THE best friends, and used to curl up in Sam's bed together.... Good luck! Sally + Harry x

Originally Posted by julietravels

Change the situation. You are going to someone's house who happens to have a very large snake, spider, or whatever you are deathly afraid of. You don't have a choice, you have to go to this house. This person insists that their large snake, spider, or whatever you are deathly afraid of, won't hurt you and this large snake, spider, or whatever you are deathly of, comes up to you and jumps on you, and everyone insists that it's ok and you need to touch it. How would you feel? Just because we love our dogs, doesn't mean that other people don't have very real fears and fobias. Something to consider.

Both excellent points. I was scared of dogs for a long time as a kid. Some of my relatives had dogs, which I loved, and I was generally fine until I was taken to a "grown up" party, and the hosts had a dog who hated children. The hostess had me feed the dog a few treats, but after a while, the dog actively sought me out in the middle of a crowd of adults, and bit me on the ankle (ooooooooh, those ankle biters!). That kicked off the fear, and then it was easy to be scared of big dogs too, because obviously they could bite me so much harder.

I agree it's often the parents who encourage this, and I think it's a real detriment to their children, like teaching your children to fear water. I don't quite understand it because my mother grew up with dogs, but she was perfectly happy for me to be scared of them, and always described them as gross and filthy.

I think it's good to respect someone else's fear, because they can't control it. Their brain is saying, "you are in danger!!" Just as you would desensitize a dog fearful of children, let your nephew go at his own pace, and make sure the interactions are controlled. Generally when Thor meets kids, I give them a treat, and 99.9% of the time, both Thor and the kids love it. I want to help the kids learn good dog manners (asking before petting, putting their hand out palm up, etc), and I want Thor to like kids.

[CouversMom]

You have received some great advice here! I always loved dogs, so I don't understand people/children who have a fear of them, but it's much like many other fears...

[Lollipopcorner]

Originally Posted by julietravels

Change the situation. You are going to someone's house who happens to have a very large snake, spider, or whatever you are deathly afraid of. You don't have a choice, you have to go to this house. This person insists that their large snake, spider, or whatever you are deathly afraid of, won't hurt you and this large snake, spider, or whatever you are deathly of, comes up to you and jumps on you, and everyone insists that it's ok and you need to touch it. How would you feel? Just because we love our dogs, doesn't mean that other people don't have very real fears and fobias. Something to consider.

Totally agree!

[QuickSilver]

Now I have this horrible image in my head of two giant tarantulas greeting me at the door, jumping up and down and clicking excitedly.

[Ahis_Mama]

I also have a little niece(going to be 3) that is deathly afraid of Ahi.(or any dog) I have tried things but it doesn't seem to work either. She will just scream and scream at the top of her lungs. You can't even talk to her because she will keep screaming. And poor Ahi....she is a mother hen. If she hears a baby/kid cry she gets frantic and wants to kiss them till they stop. So it only fuels my little nieces fire more. I will have to stand with my niece or she will sit on the couch and not come down.

[yorkietalkjilly]

Since children must face dogs in their lives fairly routinely and thankfully not large snakes or silverback gorillas , it would be good for her sake if she were desensitized to a dog slowly & over time in order to make her life easier. Think back how often you came in contact with others' dogs when you were a child & growing up. It would be a dreadful liability in being able to lead a normal child's life to fear dogs. With parents' permission, I would discuss with her that we were going to help her learn to "speak dog" and explain to her what you would like to do to help her come to know how to talk to dogs! It should interest her a bit then tell her how you want to do it so she will feel safe. Of course all you really will be doing is teaching her how not to fear one over time & the dog will do the rest as her fears quieten.

Then I would do the following after explaining to her about how she was going to learn this new game:

If you or someone could put a quiet, composed dog in an airline carrier or crate, cover it and let her sit in the room for a while then leave, repeat until she is feeling less stressed, then eventually over time working her up to letting her sit near the uncovered carrier, and then ideally working up to momentarily opening the door and on and on slowly over time exposing her in a safe manner to the thing she fears, she maybe could come to accept being in the room with a dog. Eventually, as her fear begins to seem less overwhelming, she might be able to hold out treats for the dog to take from her - then even petting it and so on. As dogs are so much a part of today's social order, an inordinate fear of them is certainly going to cost this child a lot of anguish if she can't overcome it. And as we know, terrible fears if allowed to rule a child, can lead to other problems.

If her fear is of the phobic nature, a child behaviorist or psychologist or psychiatrist will be required to help her if she & her parents want to help her deal with her dog phobia.

[yorkietalkjilly]

So sorry I referred to your nephew as a female as I'd thought I remembered it was a niece you were speaking of. Tried to change all female pronouns to male but 5 minutes were up too soon. Sorry!

[Roxiesmama]

Thanks so much for all of the great advice! I will certainly see what I can do the next time he comes over. My nieces (5-year-old twins) came around after I had them feed Roxie some treats.

Funny thing is, my SIL loves little dogs, and she always had one growing up (Maltese). My brother, however, does not care for dogs, and he expresses it frequently. My dad doesn't like dogs either, and will often indicate that they are dirty. He won't even eat at my house because I have a dog.

And I have to tell you, the analogy about the pet spider really touched a nerve for me. I have severe arachnophobia...even the tiniest spider sends me running. Had to close my eyes several times during The Amazing Spiderman movie yesterday. One of my co-workers brought her pet tarantula in to my class one time and I had to leave the room until she was done showing it to them. *shudder*

[yorkietalkjilly]

I have a phobia of snakes! Used to I couldn't even open a book with a picture of one in it without getting so grossed out & repulsed, let alone see one on TV & the occas. garden snake would creep me out & send me flying. I could however tolerate the fake snakes you see in the stores & such without freaking out as my sister does. She can't even walk down the aisle of a store with fake snakes. I can walk into a pet store & up to the snake tanks - not Sis! But with big screen TV, repeated snowing of snakes on TV & HUGE screens filled with them over time, I'm less grossed out & not so panicked at the idea that they exist. Am still phobic but I think I might could work up to touching a pet snake one day but I doubt I could EVER hold one - well, maybe one of the tiny green ones but still..........eeeeeek. But I have a phobia. My tendency is to run wildly when faced with a snake.

With spiders & mice, things like that, I fear them but am not phobic - won't do irrational things to get away from one. I could hold a spider and yuck, probably a white mouse with time and not be terrified beyond belief. Hopefully, your nephew just has a fear and not phobia with dogs. Phobics tend to bolt the moment the thing they fear enters the room. If he didn't run like a maniac from the room when the dog came in, he's probably fearful & not phobic & can be helped over time. I hope so. Dogs have so much love to give.

[Roxiesmama]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

With spiders & mice, things like that, I fear them but am not phobic - won't do irrational things to get away from one. [/SIZE]

I have stopped my car in the middle of the road and jumped out on two separate occasions because there was a spider on my dashboard. Does that qualify as irrational?

Luckily there was no one behind me either time.

[gracielove]

I can kind of understand people not liking dogs, that is a decision, but a true phobia is a real issue. If there are people in your family that don't like dogs I would hope they are not transferring this fear onto the little boy. Fear like that is something that can grow into other issues as he gets older and yes, he is going to have to face seeing dogs in other places as he grows up. He does not have to like them but I hope his parents will seek some professional help in getting him past the fear.
As for spiders.....in all the world they are my least favorite creature. (that I have encountered anyway) I have a grand daughter that is quite insistent that I not kill them though. We have come to an understanding that if we see one outside it can live but if I find one inside it is a goner!