Yesterday I sent my yorkie to heaven and today I want to die
 

Hello, I am new to this site but thought it might help to share my story and see if anyone out there has been through what I am dealing with...

My family and I had our Yorkie for almost 10 years. We got him from a local breeder/pet store and loved and spoiled him from the day we got him. We replaced his ACL, and both kneecaps, paid for countless vet dehydration visits etc. For the past year or so he started peeing everywhere and having accidents, which we ignored and cleaned up. Alot! He received regular vet visits, check ups, grooming etc.

Then this past weekend, he continued throwing up alot and then wheezing. We took him in immediately and our vet said we needed to get him to the emergency vet for an EKG/Sonogram. Once there, the hooked my little baby up to some oxygen and began procedures. The EKG revealed that my baby had a massive heart tumor, a broken valve and water in his lungs...they said they would treat him for a heart condition and we could take him home once they balanced his fluids and got him out of heart failure and his breathing normalized...that never happened. He had a very poor response to the heart meds and the lasik treatments and so I was forced to make the hardest decision of my life...We decided to end his pain at the suggestion of 3 different veterinarians. When they brought him in with his oxygen tank being wheeled behind him I just knew this was the best for him. I held him in my arms and kissed him until the very end, told him how much I loved him and would miss him. My baby boy, Cosmo.

I cant believe the lonliness I'm feeling and how broken my heart is. My house is so quiet when he used to greet me everyday, tail wagging and giving me kisses. I've heard people say that the best therapy is to get another dog but I don't want to disrespect his memory. He was a little dog with a BIG personality. I miss him so much and it's only been one day. How do you ever get over this??

Oh my goodness - my heart bleeds for you.....:(

I'm afraid it's just time - lots and lots of time.

I've certainly been there myself, quite a few times, as have many others here. There is no quick fix solution.

Everybody suggested to me that we "replace" our Rosie labrador...I waited almost 3 years before I could embrace that idea. And then we didn't "replace" her...we chose a totally different breed, and a boy instead of a girl, and we made more room in our hearts for our little Harry who deserves all the love and attention and care we have to give. :)

It's still extremely early days for you, and you need to grieve. In time, you will look back on all the wonderful years you shared and remember them with joy - rather than tears....that time will come.

Opinions differ enormously on this - I have known people who have brought a new puppy into their homes and it's been the best therapy. Others have ended up even resenting the new pup, which in itself is unfair....

I would also like to welcome you to YT - I'm so sorry it's under such dreadful circumstances, but we look forward to getting to know you....Sally + Harry :aimeeyork x

i couldnt say it any better than harrymum did so i will just
say i am so very sorry for your loss.
it just takes time , some get a new puppy right awar , others wait.
you will know in your heart when the time is right.

I just want to say I'm so very sorry... I'm crying for you...

My daughters baby girl was killed accidentally a year ago... She was just a pup. I almost immidately found her a new baby... I knew that was the only way I would ever mend her heart...

I dread the day I have to say goodbye to my boys... I will be praying for you!

I am so sorry for your loss, and i know it hurts so bad, but you showed him how much you loved him by letting him go to suffer no more, you have so much love to give, find another one Cosmo would not want you to be unhappy or lonely

I agree with all the above, each person responds diffrently. I dont think its a question of replacing Cosmo, that will never happen he will always have a special place in your heart. Adding to your family with another pup can help to fill a space left. I feel for you right now as along with may others I too have been in a silmilar situation. It does get better, time is a great healer.

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Cosmo:( You have just went through what we all dread and what a lot of us have gone through. I know that it will take time to be able to remember Cosmo and all the wonderful memories you have of him as of right now you are still in shock over this sudden decision you had to make.
I think each of us is different and we each grieve in our own way. What is right for one, may not be right for another. You will have to follow your heart and know that you could never replace Cosmo but he wouldn't want you to be lonely and sad. I pray that your heart will heal in time and you can give another furbaby a place in your loving home.

My heart breaks for you. I am crying as I type this.
I have lost a pup to illness.. It was a while before I brought another new pup into my home. It was not disrespect of her memory at all..it was a totally new little fur person to love. I had and have other dogs so it was a bit easier in that the house was never empty. When the time is right you will love another...not just like oscar but love just the same.

My heart is breaking for you....I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby Cosmo. RIP sweet Cosmo.

Thank you everyone for your kind and helpful words. It was a rough second night without him, i actually rolled up a browm towel and put at end of my bed so in the dark it looks like him at night. My poor cat senses something is wrong and will not stay away from me and bellows some of the night for his friend. Its morning, and he would have been awake chasing squirrels in my back yard and harassing my neighbors dog:-(

I do feel your pain and have been there:cry: It does take time for the heart to stop feeling like it's breaking in half, and eventually you will be able to think of your Cosmo and smile and laugh at the funny things he used to do:love:

When my Starr died, my husband and I just laid in our bed and bawled all night long, we were devastated. I said I never wanted another dog EVER, but DH insisted that we get another right away. I was so mad at him for pushing another puppy on me the very next day:rolleyes: She was also sickly and almost died, but you know what? It really did help us to heal, having this new little life to nurture. Luna (and then Izzy) did not replace Starr, not at all. Our hearts just expanded to create their very own spaces in it;) We still talk about Starr, look at pictures of her, and remember her antics with fondness and love.

Only YOU will know when/if the time is right to give another furbaby your love. Let your heart be your guide:love:

RIP Cosmo

Barely got through your paragraph, & couldn't even read any replies due to blurred vision :*(. I'm so sorry for your loss, but he is healthy & happy now and his memory will live on with you forever. Think of the good times, because I can guarantee you that is what he is doing. RIP Cosmo.

I had to do the same thing in January and am still feeling the loss. Your pup wouldn't want you to feel this bad, try to remember the great times you had, cry and mourn the loss you are feeling is very real, don't let anyone take that from you.

I cant believe the lonliness I'm feeling and how broken my heart is. My house is so quiet when he used to greet me everyday, tail wagging and giving me kisses. I've heard people say that the best therapy is to get another dog but I don't want to disrespect his memory. He was a little dog with a BIG personality. I miss him so much and it's only been one day. How do you ever get over this??[/QUOTE]

Oh goodness, My heart is just breaking for you. To answer your question truthfully, you'll never fully get over the loss of your sweet Cosmo. Right now you are still grieving, but someday you will learn to go on, and go forward. Some fall into a trap and carry grief like a "memorial" to the one they lost. They are afraid that giving up the grief, and perhaps getting a new puppy companion equates forgetting their their deceased fur baby. This is wrong thinking, and nothing could be further from the truth. To stop grieving, and begin to move forward is not to never stop remembering. And you will never stop loving the little one you lost. I think people like you who love that deeply have much love to give. You are the best kind of puppy parent there is, and when the time is right, perhaps you will open your heart to a new fur baby who needs your love. You'll never replace Cosmo. You'll only carry on the legacy of love he left behind because he was such an extra special boy. If adopting doesn't feel right, perhaps you will think of a different way to honor Cosmo's memory, and help him live on.
You are in my thoughts and prayers during these painful days. You do have friends here who understand how you feel about your little one. Maybe you'll post a picture of Cosmo and share that big personality with us who never got to know him. Gentle hugs to you.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

It sounds like your and your cat are both grieving the loss of a very loved family member. I know you have probably heard this before but I will tell you from experience it will get better, unfortunately we have to go through the pain first.

Please stick around Yorkie Talk, we have a lot members who have suffered the same kind of loss. I know we will be there to offer you as much support as possible.

You will stay in my good thought and prayers as your work through the pain of losing Cosmo.

I am so sorry what has happened and that the best option was to free him of his burdens. I cannot tell you what heals the pain...I never seem to fully recover. Time blurs the memory of the pain of losing them...when I don't think about it, but, the interesting thing for me is that after loving and losing one, I always think I could never go through that again...and then another one 'calls' out to me, or shows up at my door...so now I have 2 Yorkies...both of whom I 'knew' belonged to/with me! I will always have the special bond with the ones I've lost, but still have room in my heart for a new special bond with the next ones who want me.

My heart just breaks for you...I know hard it is...and I hope some of the pain eases quickly for you so you can spend more time thinking of the beautiful life you had with him. {{{Hugs}}}

I'm so sorry for your loss, my heart breaks for you and I have been there myself, it is never easy. Just give yourself time to heal and know that we are here for you. (((HUGS)))

I dont even know where to begin....everyone has already said everything I am wanting to say. The only thing I can add is take comfort with the knowledge that dogs live in the moment....they do not know the concept of the future. Feel confident knowing little Cosmo felt very ill in the moment, and he knew you were with him. You held him in your arms and you were kissing and hugging him and telling him how ver much he was love.THAT is where Cosmo would rather be than anyplace else in this world....he was nestled in his mommas arms, and you allowed his little body to relax and his little soul to be set free. You sent him on his journey to Rainbow Bridge, relaxed, and pain free....he closed his little eyes, and the very last thing he look upon was the face he loved most in the world. You held him close, he left on his journed, feeling himself wrapped tightly in his mommas arms, the place he always felt the safest in this world. He stepped off on his journey, with your scent and your voice, forever imprinted in his memory. You gave Cosmo a promise you would always take care of him and do what was best for him....you did that with this last, painful decision you made to let him go. His promise to you was to be forever faithful, loyal, devoted, and forgiving, and to be there for you. He has also kept his promise to you....he will be there to greet you when you start your journey...remember the very last things he was experiencing as he stepped away on his journey, and he carries your face, you voice, your scent, your love, and the memory that YOU gave him peaceful, pain free rest. He will be there for you too, as he always promised! Your heart will grieve, and then it will begin to heal, and you will want another baby to occupy another little place in your huge, loving heart, NOT replacing Cosmo, but joining little Cosmos memory there.

I understand your heart is breaking. I too have been there. Putting our little yorkie Baby to rest was the hardest thing to do. Time is the great healer and in time you will remember only the joy Cosmo brought into your life. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your little Cosmo :rose40:

So beautifully said I can add nothing but my condolences & assurance that the pain you feel is all consuming & seems to take forever to lessen somewhat. The missing of your little one never heals, never completely goes away as I read Ladyjane say not too long ago in another thread but the painful part that is so utterly miserable does dim & after time, hope & the future do return - they really do. R.I.P., Little One.

I'm very sorry for your loss and agree with what everyone has said. :(
I've had to make that tough decision with two of my pets. And yes, my heart broke and I felt worse than awful. But, it really does get better. You need time to grieve. It is completely normal.

I do think a new pup is a good idea. Maybe not right away, but start thinking about, looking for the perfect breeder, shopping for the new puppy, etc. It will help you look to joyful things and feelings.

Best to you and lots of hugs. :hug:

We went through this very thing when we lost our precious Boji at 13 we to had to make that dreaded decision. He grew up with our family and was very much part of it. I swear I could not stop crying. Dh said that's it no more dogs this is way to hard. We waited a month and I talked him into another. I can not tell you how that helped this family heal. We miss Boji very much and no one has taken his place. But the new memories and laughs help heal the heart. I know myself I would never wait that long again. A house without a dog in it is not for me. You need to do what's right for your family. But becareful I know have went from one to three. Rip Cosmo

So beautifully said, and every word so true. Thank you so much for this post!

What a wonderful post! I am so sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and your family during this tough time.

I am so sorry for your loss of your dear Cosmo. Everyone here has said so well all I would. RIP dear Cosmo

Very sorry for your loss.... Do did the best thing for little Kosmo.

As pet owners, most of us have been in your shoes or will be one day. As responsible pet owners, this is a decision we all must face at one time or another.

When my beloved Casper was put to sleep, it was the hardest thing I have ever done. Maybe even harder than watching my Mother die of cancer - because at least I didn't have the feeling that 'I killed her". That is the feeling I had for some time when I made the decision for Casper.

I went into a deep depression early on. I finally called my Vet's office and spoke to my friend there. She told me that Casper's trusted Vet would never have put him down if he felt it was not time or not the right thing to do. She told me that the last time he had boarded there - they all felt that I was holding onto him for longer than I should have - considering the very poor quality of his life.

So, they helped me ~ as did time.

I hope that you have someone you can talk to about your grief and sorrow. Too many people dimiss it when it is 'just a dog'. Luckily, I had my cousin who knew what I was feeling.

Now, when I think of Casper - I think of the good times we shared, all the walks in the woods, riding in the car, his funny little ways.

I hope that, in time, your heart will not be quite so heavy; knowing that you performed a final act of kindness for your beloved Cosmo. You made a very hard decision but that decision came from love - you did not want him to suffer.

Peace be with you today and in the days to come.

I am so sorry for your loss. My hearts breaks for you, it is amazing how much love these little guys have to give isnt it. I don't think you should think that getting another dog is disrespecting you cosmos memory. You are not replacing him and nothing ever could you would just be giving another dog that need love and a home what they need.

I deeply regret your loss. ((Big Hug))

I am so sorry for your loss. I had two dogs die in the past year. One from a heart condition (Sydney)and the second from Cancer(Bailey). We treated the cancer for a year then had to make that hard decision. I got my little Yorkie right before my Bailey died and it was like giving her a second life. She was never alone till Sydney died. She acted like a pup again for a while. It is so painful to lose our little ones. We still miss the other two and could not replace them. Brandy is not a replacement! But Brandy healed our hearts!:love: