Don't Play With the Puppy???

[MorkieMomma]

Hi,

Our vet told me that I needed to stop hovering over Bella, and playing with her and interacting with her every moment she is awake. He said she could and most likely would, develop severe separation anxiety and she needs to be taught that it's okay to have alone puppy time. I'm a housewife, with no children, so our pets are our 'kids'. What am I supposed to do, ignore her??? The issue came up when the vet tech took her to be weighed, she freaked out and squirmed like crazy and squawked until she was back with me.

She woke up recently and immediately I got on the floor and started playing with her. I'm not a softie. She knows not to bite, because that gets a "Eh eh eh!! No Bella, no bite"...and she doesn't like upsetting me. I DO correct her when she does something inappropriate.

I stopped after an hour of play and went into this room.

I decided to try and do what the vet said and let her play by herself but she's breaking my heart. I refuse to leave her unwatched, so I put a rack in the doorway instead of closing it. She keeps standing on her hind legs, leaning against the rack, tilting her head and whimpering at me. She won't play by herself, Brussels is tired (he's senior), kitty wants nothing to do with her yet (though she has stopped hissing, now she just sniffs her nose and walks off).

She *needs* a playmate (namely me) doesn't she? How can I expect her to just amuse herself? That feels really unfair.

You should hear her whimpering, and those eyes, those eyes are like little windows. She clearly wants me to play with her.

I just want reasons why I should listen to the vet and not play with her?? It seems like animal cruelty and neglect to me. IF this is right, and she is supposed to have alone time....she's not liking it at ALL. How long am I supposed to let her stand up and cry at me?

I interacted with our Brussels the same way when he was a puppy and LONG into adulthood (until he started sleeping a ton). He grew up just fine, didn't have this 'separation anxiety' stuff, and didn't seem to have ANY ill effects.

...she's still whimpering at me and has been since I started typing this.

[MorkieMomma]

...now she's not whimpering, she's yowling a little puppy yowl and making a gurgly growly sound. She's pitching a fit.

[LunasMomma]

Awwwwww That sound will break your heart! It sounds like both you and the vet are right. I think that there can be a happy medium, where she gets lots of attention, and a little alone time. Maybe a special toy or a kong will help her entertain herself. Something she ONLY gets at alone time? I sort of hovered over mine for a bit, but I would put them in the gated kitchen or in their pen in the bedroom when I needed to do stuff and couldn't watch them. It's just like a baby, if you give in when they cry, they will be whiners If you must go get her, wait until she STOPS crying and is quiet, that way you don't reward the crying.

Good luck, I know it's hard

[MI Yorkielover]

Aww, that would break my heart to see a little one so unhappy . I'm no expert but to me yorkies are a special breed that need more constant attention especially when they are so young. If you're loving Bella too much then I'm guilty of loving Sophie too much, too.

[MorkieMomma]

Thank you for the comments, this is torture. I agree with Yorkies needing more attention (she's not full Yorkie, only half) but still.

I love my vet and I trust him a great deal, but I think I'm going to have to decline advice on this call.

Thank you for reiterating what I already felt.

(She has toys spread out all over the livingroom floor) but I'll find just one and try giving that to her just during her alone time (if she ever has any again, lol!)

I'm starting to think we should have considered two puppies instead of just one.

I'm going to go play with her until she gets sleepy again.

PS - sorry my posts are spamming the boards, but she's whole nother ball of wax compared to Brussels. Totally different pups...and it's been almost 12 years since we were puppy parents. I need lots of advice and have questions, it should taper off the longer we have her.

[Jennyms319]

That kind of makes me mad that your vet said that! If you love playing with your dog, love being with your dog why would he care he should be happy that people care about their pets! I say you keep playing with her as much as you want. I think that little growl they make them they are mad is so cute!!

[gryhndnut]

I think that the vet might be kinda right. You certainly don't want your puppy to have seperation anxiety. My Jersey is 6 1/2 months for the most part only plays with one of our cats and only when the cat is in the mood. He is mostly in the same room as I am, when possible, and does entertain himself the majority of the time. I want him to be a little independent. He has lots of toys to play with and I also do play with him, but not all of the time! When he gets tired of playing and want to curl up to sleep or rest, I put him in his crate. I want him to realize that he will be in his crate at times. So far with him, and with my other dogs, this has worked really well for me.

[Farleys]

Originally Posted by gryhndnut

I think that the vet might be kinda right. You certainly don't want your puppy to have seperation anxiety. My Jersey is 6 1/2 months for the most part only plays with one of our cats and only when the cat is in the mood. He is mostly in the same room as I am, when possible, and does entertain himself the majority of the time. I want him to be a little independent. He has lots of toys to play with and I also do play with him, but not all of the time! When he gets tired of playing and want to curl up to sleep or rest, I put him in his crate. I want him to realize that he will be in his crate at times. So far with him, and with my other dogs, this has worked really well for me.

I agree too! As hard as it is when they are so little and so cute, its so much better for them in the long run because they need to be able to be independent. Later, what will happen if you have no choice but to leave her home alone? Or she has to stay at the vet? If they are too dependant on you, they wont eat well, or rest well without you. ITs not that you cant play with them at all, or even alot! ITs just that they need sometime by them self to learn its okay, and that way its not too stressful and hard on them when something comes up and you do HAVE to leave them. My little guy is very attached to me, but he is also fine, if he has to stay at the vet, or has to be in his kennel. At thats also less stress for you, because you dont have to be worried that they arent okay.

[NewYorksBrandy]

I really like this topic.. I think the vet is both right and worng..what the vet should have said was play less but ween her from play all the time so that both of you can deal with not being with each other. I mean My Brandy just came home from the vet from a long recovery of kennel cough. When I got her it was night and day play hugs play feeding play naps and everything.. when she fell sick I didn't know what to do with out her.. My heart was broken in many pieces.. I feel that if I had did some thing different maybe the anxity would have been less overwelming.. So now I give her some down time.. I have a mess playpen in my livingroom and when I see her tired I put her down in their and leave her... she doesn't like it but I have to give her rest time..

[DJDB]

With all due respect, this is NOT a child you have, though you may love it just the same. I think people cause problems with their dogs by not recognizing that they ARE dogs first, then a breed, then a companion. Eventually, your dog will likely develop behaviour issues if you continue to treat it like a human baby and project your anxieties onto it.

IMO you should be training your puppy to be on its own without anxiety, for its own good. If you're really that afraid to leave your puppy alone for a little while, some psychological help might be in order. I'm honestly not trying to be rude by saying that. Perhaps you just have some issues you need to work on so that you can enjoy life without stressing about every little thing.

[MI Yorkielover]

Even with all the loving we do on Sophie she has never suffered from separation anxiety. When we have to leave her home alone we simply walk out the door with no long goodbyes. We have done this from the time we brought her home. We have listened outside the door and there has never been any crying, whimpering or whining. She knows we'll be back and there will be a treat upon our return for our good girl . She will normally just take a nap while we are gone. I know because there is always a warm spot on the chair . She is a very well adjusted dog.

[SweetLifetime]

I totally get why your vet's advice would sound bad to you (I don't think it was put very well), but a little bit of independence in a dog is definitely a good thing. Also, Bella will feed off of your energy. So if you're upset about walking away from her, she's more likely to be upset about it too.

With Cody, we got him a wire exercise pen and put him in there for stretches of time in the evenings. He could run around, lay down, play or whatever in there and could still see us. But he had to entertain himself for a while. And honestly, it didn't hurt him (or us!) one bit. Of course we still played with him lots... just not every waking second. We don't really use the pen at all anymore, but he's perfectly happy to lay down in the living room and chew on a bone or play by himself if we're busy doing something else now.

There are lots of things we have to get our dogs used to that they don't necessarily like at first. Like having their paws and mouths handled or wearing a harness. And at first your pup may whine and pitch a fit, but you need to persist until she gets used to it. Each of these little ones has a different personality too, so what may have been okay for your other dog might not work out right with this one.

[tinalove]

I think you will need to find a happy medium. Puppies need love, play and attention but puppies need to learn that they will be alone sometimes. They will be without you and its okay. Puppies should learn to entertain themselves. All dogs suffer from separation anxiety at some time. I went to Florida on a conference and left my bichon with my mom. My bichon refused to eat the first days but when hunger kicked in , then she ate. I agree we love our pets but they are not our children.

[sganow]

Really??? I say just love you baby the way you want to. You didn't get a puppy so that you could ignore it, did you??? LOL We have a large family with a lot of activity. Our puppies got a ton of attention! But we also have (and have had) multiple dogs at the same time, so they also had each other and played together a lot. I guess you could say our dogs are never really totally alone.

[MorkieMomma]

Originally Posted by DJDB

With all due respect, this is NOT a child you have, though you may love it just the same. I think people cause problems with their dogs by not recognizing that they ARE dogs first, then a breed, then a companion. Eventually, your dog will likely develop behaviour issues if you continue to treat it like a human baby and project your anxieties onto it.

IMO you should be training your puppy to be on its own without anxiety, for its own good. If you're really that afraid to leave your puppy alone for a little while, some psychological help might be in order. I'm honestly not trying to be rude by saying that. Perhaps you just have some issues you need to work on so that you can enjoy life without stressing about every little thing.

I don't stress about "every little thing", and that was quite unfair. I'm only this way about Bella. She's a tiny puppy and I worry. I thought that was normal? Brussels has full run of the entire house, because I taught him at an early age (like I'm doing with Bella) what can be taken into his mouth and what cannot.

As far as being afraid to leave her on her own, yes I am. It's that I'm scared she'll chew a piece of furniture and choke (or swallow it and have GI complications). There's nothing on the floor itself that she could eat that is bad...it's what she could get into on her own that causes the fear in me. There are also cords used for the entertainment center that look quite inviting for a playful puppy.

Yes, they are dogs, but at the same time, dogs in the wild do not have bits of couches, and recliners and the fabric therein to get stuck in their stomachs.

She's playing with Brussels at the moment, who awoke and decided to let her peck at his legs, and play with her. I'm watching them from time to time when it gets quiet, but for the most part I'm letting them be.

I realize she's not a child...but I also realize that she is a puppy and needs to be taught what she can chew on or gnaw at, and what she can't. How can she learn that if I leave her to her own devices at this age? (And yes, I like to play with her when she's awake, she's a fun puppy). She does know I'm boss though, and she does listen to me.

I'm sorry, but unless she's playing with me, my husband, or Brussels, I just would really rather not let her be on her own doing whatever she pleases in the livingroom.

I don't think that's a psychological problem, or not considering that she is a dog. I think it's being cautious because she's a puppy and learning the human environment.