Has anyone figured out why?
 

Why is it that when people ask for advice on dog care or info and you give it to them, they never want the info? I have people ask me stuff and when I explain what they probably don't want to hear even with site references, they never take the advice or get upset.
My sister in law has a gorgeous white snauzer and I love her to pieces. When I first met her, my sister in law said she was going to breed her. :-( at this point I knew nothing about all the things needed before agood breeder would breed but I knew enough to know she wouldnt do it and only saw dollar signs. I asked her really? You're going to breed her? Who is your vet? She told me that she has to FIND her one. She had already had het for months. OMG.
I tried to explain to her that its a lot to it but nevertheless she knew enough to know she needed a black male to mate with her and bought one but by the grace of God the male dog is uninterested in her when she is in heat.
This isn't the only case but I was just wondering, why do people seek advice then when its not what they want to hear they get defensive or dismiss it.
I can't imagine anyone having a dog and not loving it Soooo much that they would never do anything that wasn't in their best interest.
Ok..hopping off my soapbox now. Lol.

Often, when people "ask for advice" they are really asking for approval and/or support for things they already are doing, believe to be true, or want to happen.

When they encounter advice that is contrary to what they want to hear, it makes them feel violated - especially if that advice isn't given in a nurturig manner. As frustrating as it is, I find it much better to bite my tounge and go that extra mile to try to give suggestions and advice in a non threatening manner which will not offend the receiver. Sometimes that is nearly impossible.:rolleyes:

[QUOTE=chattiesmom;3733532]Often, when people "ask for advice" they are really asking for approval and/or support for things they already are doing, believe to be true, or want to happen.

When they encounter advice that is contrary to what they want to hear, it makes them feel violated - especially if that advice isn't given in a nurturig manner. As frustrating as it is, I find it much better to bite my tounge and go that extra mile to try to give suggestions and advice in a non threatening manner which will not offend the receiver. Sometimes that is nearly impossible.:rolleyes:[/QUOTE

:thumbup:so very true

:thumbup: so often true

And at other times it seems like they are taking a vote/tally of responses in order to make their decision because they aren't confident in their own thoughts/choices.

And that sums it up in a nutshell! :D

Yup! So many times this has happened. If you don't want to take my advice THEN DON'T ASK ME!!!

For sure! Why they can't understand that they will see different opinions blows my mind!

I agree... I don't know how many people have told me that I have an absolutely well mannered dog (he better be considering amount of time and $$ spent on agility training), then they ask me for training advice, and I set it out soooo clearly, and offer to come over and show them (something that would cost a lot of $$ if they hired a real trainer) yet they just do it their way, and complain about how ill behaved the dog is...

I've learned to give the advice and walk away... I no longer get emotionally involved, it was a VERY hard thing to learn

Thanks for answering guys. I always give advice in a positive way but sometimes I just want to say nothing but when its important I know I should answer. They don't take the advice so I've spent all that time talking for nothing. Some even want me to research their question for them then tell them what I found. I'm thinking....the answer I just gave you came from research. Lol.
Now I see I'm not alone in how I'm feeling. So sad for the furbabies. Why can't I just take them all hone with me. Ooh yeah, DH would flip. Ha

WELL SAID! I too believe this is why people act this way! They already have their opinion set, they r just looking for validation. When they don't get their ideas reinforced, nice or not, they r all offended. Sorry, but like another poster said, if you don't want my advice, don't ask. Any reasonable, intelligent person should know that opinons and advice are going to differ from their own SOMETIMES, and accept that their own beliefs CAN be wrong ones at times. Since this doesn't seem to happen much, I try to give polite, unoffending advice for the sake of the pet.:animal-pa

Well, you also have to understand that in the same breath some people don't /have/ to take your advice just because they asked for it. If I ask someone for advice I'm trying to get another perspective, it might not be enough to sway my decision but getting to hear it is enough to consider. It sucks when people get offended when I don't take their advice, but advice is perspective not really asking the other person to decide for me. If that makes sense.

In your case you were giving good advice, that ultimately would do good, but not all advice is such.

Just my two cents

I think what most here are frustrated with is us giving good sound advice, and people not listening. Like my baby is vomiting what should I do? We say vet, then they come back days later, oh he's ok. :rolleyes: Or I want to breed my dog, good idea? Or does this website that sells 10 different breeds look like a good place for me to get my new micro mini teacup? That kind of stuff.

However, I do know what you mean when you actually want a different perspective, and you yourself are already somewhat knowledgeable about the subject. For example, just today, I asked bf what size drill bit I should use for this project I'm working on. He says this one, then I say no I like this one better. :p I asked bc I thought he would know more than I do, but it turns out he doesn't. :D

I ask for advice and do the opposite of the advice sometimes-I just want perspective from another angle.

However when someone asks for advice and then proceeds with stupidity...don't offer advice to them anymore you are wasting your words, time, and brain power in the thought process.

Why did she want to breed a black schnauzer to a white schnauzer only in the mini's do you get whites frm blacks and that's from tradition line breeding crossing back to black is asinine, as I've been told.
Whites are black without pigment...

The thing that always make me roll my eyes: Someone asks for advice, and, of course, others do just that. Then someone pops up and call the first responders "judgmental," only because they really don't agree with the advice that has been given.

The ironic thing, though, is in order for them them to determine that the previous posters are judgmental, it requires them to pass judgment themselves!

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Call me judgmental and I''ll wear it proudly. If you ask me for advice, you are asking me what the right thing is to do. Very simple. After that, if you accuse me of being judgmental, then you are only saying that my opinion is only valid if my opinion agrees with yours. So if agree with you, I can voice my opinion, if I disagree with you, I should shut my mouth.

Accusing someone of being judgmental is only a way of trying to silence someone of voicing their opinion, while in turn being judgmental yourself!

Sorry, double post.

It's ok, I double agree!

I really agree with you. It is a forum full of all different kinds of opinions and advice and there is room for more than just one kind and thats what they dont see and wont see because they think their kind of advice is superior and it just comes out so clearly in their posts

I have found that if I view a request for advice as someone merely asking me; What would you do if this or that? Then I can share what I would do, and keep to the forefront of my mind, that their decision is just that their's and doesn't need to match or be exactly what I would do.

Exactly!!!.....Well put

Lol, this should be a sticky! :D

I have no idea. She said she heard if she wants white puppies she should breed her with black. And as sweet as the black one is. He is not the best I've seen in black. So she hasn't done any research or even training. No sit, come, no nothing. And the male dog is nippy to her kids. I just know this would be a disaster but I'm the bad one for having my dogs fixed. I don't know. I never try to make anyone do what I say but when Im almost in tears explaining what all could go wrong...... I would think that would make a person at least say I will research myself and decide rather that I can make good money. So sad.
And I'm not heartless. I felt awful putting Choppa through his neutering surgery bit that is best for him.

And I agree with this. When asked, I only answer on what I know for sure or have researched then take the time to tell then how to find what I read. I have asked for advice and gotten answers I didn't care for before and I've also had people talk to me in a condescending tone telling what I need to be doing so I always speak about what I read then how I would handle. I guess what prompted my post was knowing that she is going to find a way to breed her then I will be the one she calls if something goes wrong.
She is my sister in law and I love her but she makes her own decisions therefore my heart is with her dogs who only have the voice of someone with their best interest at heart.

Exactly

The way I view it is like this:

Advice comes in many forms.
That which is asked for.
That which is forced upon a recipient
That which is offered with good intentions
and more

I would define advice as :

Guidance or recommendations concerning prudent future action, typically given by someone regarded as knowledgeable or authoritative.

Opinions are slightly different and are like a fundamental orifice, we all have one.

Often given without being requested
Not always given from knowledge
Not always welcome

I would define Opinion as follows :

A view or judgement formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.

Just because advice or an opinion is asked for does not take away the receivers right to reject it if they wish to do so.

I recently paid a lawyer/solicitor for advice and did not like the advice given. The advice was not to fight a case in court as I would lose and pay for court costs as well.

I went to court and won and received all my expenses along with other awards.

The part which upsets many people is how the advice or opinion is rejected but we should always remember what is offered may be rejected that is the right of the receiver.

Very well put. I would never force an opinion or advice simply because I don't like when that happens to me. But the thing that got me was since she sought me out, I thought she didnt have the information she asked for so I told her plus offered refernces. I'm not mad or upset that she didnt take my advice because I still have so much to learn. I'm only saddened that I can see what's coming for the love of money. You explained advice and opinion so well I need to print it for the office. LOL. I've never seen it written so well.

Thank you for your kind words.

Money is a terrible thing at times. I have seen animals in appalling conditions and have also seen human beings suffer all for the love of money.

I understand your concern about your friend but I would think your main concern is the welfare of the dogs,this is truly commendable and I feel sure if you believe the dogs are suffering you would do the right thing anyway.

Always remember just because you take the horse to the water trough does not mean it is going to drink. :D;):rolleyes:

No training :thumbdown:thumbdown:thumbdown:thumbdown

I did ask admin. to erase my post I misquoted but whatever it wasn't the point.

The nippy has to be stopped often minis (some lines) naturally exhibit a nippy and herding issue to an extreme. It seems to be consistent with their want to perimeter guard. Nevertheless nippy at children will never work out it's purely the owners lack of training and effort. :mad:

Miniatures schnauzers are easily trained, they excel quickly and want expansion, often preferring sequence training themselves. :thumbup:

Miniature Schnauzers (the only way it can be white is if it's a miniature) are extremely even tempered, stubborn at times but very good with families...highly intelligent, however when left to their own devices they can become very destructive and exhibit a number of behavior issues also they can become depressed easily compared to other breeds.

Miniature schnauzers were working dogs and by all means the breeding very more selective of their personality characteristics & health rather than their look hence the variations of color and coat texture still being prevent.

She'll figure out very quickly that an untrained mini schnauzer isn't going to work out...hope he finds a good forever home. :(

When inexperienced breeders take over we're really seeing the beginning of the ruining of the breed.

Whites are also very high maintenance, miniature schnauzers if properly cared for are high maintenance dog also.

I'm heartbroken here schnauzers make the best family dogs when provided for properly and when they come from good breeding...

Don't worry about the misquote, your info is awesome. I never researched them but love gaining knowledge so thank you. Yes her white one is gorgeous... Too bad she is hardly groomed. I understand where you are coming from with your post, its a kind of frustration because we want so badly to help. It's the black male that is nippy but mainly to her youngest daughter. Makes you wonder about how well socialized a litter would be from her. Perish the thought.

My purpose for posting this is because unless you love animals, you won't understand and I only have 2 friends that have dogs that care for them like family. So I posted her for feedback from people that feel the way I do about fur family and just a helplessness at watching a trainwreck and can't do anything about it. Thanks everyone. I really appreciate you.

Yes, and if you kind of write out what you would do about a behavior or training problem, they often seem to really get offended by the obvious steps you have posted and post what a good trainer they are and what long experience they have(none of which was in the original post) and seem to forget the original post which was a problem you thought they needed help with. Still, this is a public forum and maybe someone else can use the info - never can tell.