My Dilemna
 

I've been in a little bit of a dilemna. 3 weeks ago today, my sweet Georgia passed away suddenly.

http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/mem...-girl-rip.html

about a week later when my husband picked up her ashes, he asked to speak to the vet to see if she found out what exactly happened. The vet was out at the time and called him the next day.

She said that she didn't do an autopsy because I told her not to.... I don't remember this conversation at all. I guess they would do an autopsy automatically, plus I was in such a huge shock (so I'm kind of cranky with them about that:mad:)... anyway, she said there were a couple of ways that indicated the renal failure. They guessed that she may have had a clot close to her heart that burst Sunday night which was why she passed so quickly... that basically her heart went into cardiac arrest. They thought of that because she perked up when they warmed her up with the blankets, that it had gotten her blood moving better. But I guess we will never really know what really happened. Calvin, my husband, thought initially that something burst in her gut, which would cause the blood coming out of her rear end and caused her to bleed out.

The vet said that this shouldn't have been because of her litter that she had March 5th. I could figure she was stressed, but she never showed signs of stress until Sunday night, by the fact that she was lethargic.


Anyway, this was not my dilemna... Initially my husband and I were going to keep a puppy, but as the days passed, he thought about it and he's not really sure if we should keep one. And his points make sense as to why we don't really need one...We have Chewy, and a goffin's cockatoo named Fred that we can devote more time to. Having just one dog may be easier to travel, and he doesn't think it would be right to keep one if it feels like we replace Georgia. I can see his point, I don't want to replace her, she was my baby.

But my heart says that I need to keep one, I saw a grieving counselor and she said that it doesn't look like I want to replace Georgia... I NEVER could replace her. I know that these puppies and the smallest girl in particular has stolen my heart. After arguing with the husband, I finally was able to articulate that the smallest girl and I have this bond. I told him that yes, all the puppies are wonderful and special but this little girl for some reason grabs me. I am attached to her and I find her following me around more than the others. She likes to sit in my lap and it just feels right.

I guess I wanted to express my problem at the moment, no one but us can ultimately decide whether or not we are going to keep one, we don't absolutely need another animal, but this attraction to that one puppy has my heart and I don't think I can let go.
They turn 9 weeks this Saturday and will put them in ads and such next week. If they didn't seem ready to go, we'd hold them longer, but they are all playing, eating solid food (for a week now), sleeping, pooping :), so I think it's time to let them brighten other's days.

thanks for reading to me blabber on. I thought you all would understand me at this moment.

Can i say i was in tears after reading this post :( Good luck to you! and yes you should keep the little girl :) I know nothing can replace Georgia but atleast that way you will always have a part of her with you!! Sending you lots of good wishes and hugs!!

Aw, that's sad. No, one can never replace a beloved pet, their personalities are too different, and always leads to disappointment. You wouldn't be replacing, you would be adding a new family member, one that has blood ties to the one lost.

Maybe agree to sell that one last, if it still seems the best option not to keep her. But do be sure before you decide to sell her, or hold on to her and sell her as an older pup if things don't work out the way you would like. You have time, no need to make a decision right away...

I just lost my little Cricket in Nov. I understand how you feel. I don't know your husband's reasons for not wanting to keep one; however, I know there is a hole in your soul that just aches for a little one to hold and connect with, plus it is a piece of Georgia. My grief and pain did not start to diminish until I had another little girl in my arms. I think it's a mother's ache...maybe the guys can't understand so much.

I would try to explain it to him. I actually became physically ill after Cricket passed. Now my husband attributed it to the fact that I have no two-legged children and cannot, but it sounds like you are feeling that mommy ache for your child, Georgia. Maybe if he could read some of our posts and understand how mommies constantly ache for that lost child he would better understand.

I'm so sorry to hear about Georgia.

No one can tell you what to do or what is best for your family. Only you know this and hopefully have a little while to think on it.

When my Chelsea passed, I new it was coming someday due to her CT, but wasn't prepared for how quickly she went downhill. I loved her more than I thought was possible to love a dog. No other dog could ever compare. I wouldn't even consider getting another at the time because nothing could replace Chelsea and I was convinced I'd never love another pup like I did her.

I went 3 years without a yorkie, until both my kids, away at college, thought I needed company and bought me ZoE. I don't know what I was thinking waiting so long. I love having ZoE. I still think of Chelsea often. I had many years with her and have many memories that are often triggered by things I read here on YT. She'll always be in my heart, and now, so is ZoE :)

If your heart says you need to keep one, then keep one. You won't regret doing it, but you might regret losing your chance to have a piece of Georgia with you if you don't.

One other thing you might want to consider is keeping all the pups a little bit while longer. Although they are eating and playing well, they are still learning a lot from each other at this stage and they need to be with other pups/dogs in order to learn those social skills.

Keep her when I lost my first yorkie I went two years before I got another (and now have three). I wish I had gotten one right away. I replaced my yorkie with a cairn which is a great dog. But not a yorkie. There is just something about them that melts your heart. And you will feel lost if you let her go. Good luck with the hubby. :)

I agree...

if your heart says keep her... keep her.

Also, many breeders think you should keep the puppies to at least 12 weeks, so that will give you some time.

I wish you luck

I'm totally in tears:(

Sometimes we just know what we need. If you feel a bond with this little girl then keep her. Just explain to him that you can't explain but you know in your heart it's the right thing to do.

My Husband and I have this sort of relationship.

He digs his heels in but when he knows I am truly serious and I will not be swayed and my heart is leading me ,not my emotions (and it has only happened twice in our marriage, and it wasn't pet related) he lets go of the control.

Grieving is a process. Only time will heal you.

Your post really got to my heart and I wish you the very best.

~Hugs~

Sounds like you two really have a bond and the two of you might need each other in several ways. I know what it is like to have the bond develop between you and a dog and it is nothing you can describe and it defies practical considerations. If possible, it would be lovely if you can keep her, your sweet girl's girl. It would likely help you get through some of your grief - having this little puppy to have such fun with. But if not, you will find a way to go on with Chewy and Fred, missing her but that will lessen over time. Sometimes things can't work out like we'd best like and it can really hurt but you do find a way forward. Not always as fun, though.

Keep her. I understand what he is saying about easier to travel with just the one dog and all of that but when you have that connection with a dog it is just unexplainable.

Sounds like she is choosing you and you her, I would just sit down and calmly explain to him how you feel and why you know this is right. Good luck to you.

Aww Georgia girl!

I agree with the posts. I think you need to keep her. Your not replacing Georgia, but instead allowing her legacy to continue on through the little puppy you have the connection with. I think there is a darn good reason that you have that connection with the little girl and I think you need to follow your heart on this one.
I think your husband is simply thinking about his emotions with regards to the new little girl. I think he may be feeling guilty about loving this little girl and wondering if she would be in fact "replacing" Georgia in his eyes. My husband did the same thing when he lost his beagle, basically tried to mirror his emotions back at me.

When you get a new puppy or dog, it doesn't replace any of the ones you lost. Instead it begins to heal that hole in your heart. And eventually, when you see your little one do something cute or naughty you and your husband will laugh and say "Aww, that makes me think of Georgia when she us to..." and it'll bring that smile to your face.

Good luck!
Follow your heart!
And keep us updated. We're thinking and praying for you!

I think its hard for men sometimes to understand us and our motherly feelings. I say keep her too. You will be so glad you did and I bet your dh will be glad too. Its hard for them too. I know my husband loves all our furbabies but he is espically bonded to Kayla. If anything ever happened to her I don't know what he would do. IMO, keep her, love her, and spoil the heck out of her.

If I were you, I'd definitely keep the little girl, especially because she represents a part of Georgia. She has an extra special bond to you because of losing her mom.

Chewy will love having a playmate too, since he's been used to that.

Keep her !!!!!!!!!!! It's Georgia's way of leaving you somebody to love now that she can't be there for her.

The last part of your post explains every reason why you should keep the little girl:) What you feel about her now will only grow into a more deeper bond. You can always sell her on down the road if your feelings changed.
If you sell her now, you may regret it later:(

in no way would she replace Georgia...she will fill a void she left in your heart;)

I agree. You should go with your heart.

I am sorry for your loss.

This was exactly my feeling. That little one is a part of your baby... you need each other. I would definitely keep her! ♥

ugh, so I had this long post of more rambling, then the husband came home and we ended up talking again.

He hasn't said "no I don't want to keep one". He just wants to make sure that the decision to keep one is the right one. I am grieving and I understand his logic. I don't want to keep one and in the end realize it was for the wrong reason, because it wouldn't be right for her. I also don't want to let go because after I realize that I'm ready for another furbaby that I let her go when I shouldn't have. Ugh, sucks to be an adult. And as much as I would love it to be my decision, it is both my husband's and I's.

I've thought that since Chewy has always had a buddy his whole life that keeping one would also be beneficial. Husband thinks he would be okay. I don't know, he might.
I guess I need to figure out why I need to keep one. I know I want one so terribly much, but why do I need two dogs? I see the logic in why I don't absolutely need one, but I need to keep her as I hope to expand my love of these stinkers we call yorkies.

thanks for the support all. It helps me a lot thinking about what I want/need in my life right now.

I will definitely keep you guys posted. I hope that whatever we do, it will be for the best.

All dog lovers understand your plight, believe me. We've all been there more than once.

Think of what Georgia would want for you. I think she would want you to love, and be loved by her little girl, and be sharing a wonderful life together.

I don't think you have to justify "needing" another dog, but you have one, and your heart *wants* her..... so just go with it.

I agree.... I got Tatum about 2 or 3 weeks after losing our 16 year old toy poodle. He was my "first born"... before marriage, before the kids. It had nothing to do with replacing him. It was about the mothering instinct. At that time our daughters were pre-teen and didn't quite need as much mothering as when they were littler and I found myself with more time on my hands than I wanted. Even my family noticed the depression slipping in (and I am NOT the type to be depressed). Tatum put a new spark back into the family. ;)

Good luck with your decision!

I would say to keep her also. It's not a "replacement" but actually the start of a new life in your family. And being a part of Georgia... I think it's perfect (considering the situation).

A year ago we lost one of our dogs to cancer (actually we lost 2 of our dogs the same month). The following weekend we got Lilly (our little maltese) and she fit right into our family. She was not a replacement for Meadow, but she was a new life in our home and really made the transition much easier.

we talked again last night. it started off good but then I got frustrated and started crying. my husband said that I need to decide to keep her or not bit that I have to deal with the consequences. I then couldn't decide what to do. I spent the rest of the night thinning and my husband then said that he just isn't feeling ready for another dog. he feels overwhelmed by this whole year with his grandma passing away, then our neighbor a month later, and then his dad getting mouth cancer ( they got it all out, no chemotherapy needed yay). So when Georgia passed he just doesn't want one. I know this yorkie is perfect but my husband's feelings matter too. he also said this was a chance for both of us to grow and I agree. plus when/if we get a bigger place (currently in a trailer) we can get another dog. he has grown up with yorkies all of his life and he'd like to try another breed someday, and so do I.

I think I am going to give my favorite little girl to good friend of ours. not only does she have a yorkie ( had 2 but one passed in Jan.) But I can see her on the occasion and I know she would be in the best hands I can put her in... I will miss her and hurt and work on dealing with my sweet Georgia's passing more and give Chewy and fred just a ton of love... I think I can move past this and it will be for the best.

I hope you all don't think bad of me to let her go :( I think after really thinking with my heart and by doing some soul searching this is the best for everyone. she will always be my little munchkin.

No one can know but you, and at least you can see her when you want to.

I know this has been so hard on you, and wish you all the best in the healing and growth in the future.

Thanks. It is taking so much energy to be strong during all of this. I appreciate the support.

In life there are some decisions that will never be easy. I know you have put a lot of thought, heart and soul searching into this decision. I am glad your special little girl is going to a friend and will be close to you. You are a kind and loving wife and I think you are being understanding to your husbands feelings. I am sorry that this has been such a sad year for you both. Chewy and Fred will benefit from all your love. I wish you and your husband and your fur family all the best. RIP Sweet Georgia your mommy and daddy miss you very much and will love you always. Best Wishes

Keep her. You won\'t live with regret and the what if\'s. She\'s a part of Georgia and you\'ve both already bonded. Georgia was very special and it sounds like this little girl is special, too.:love:

Let me tell you....I had a Yorkie a few years ago. Sadie Mae is 2 now. I let my husband\'s constant complaining lead me to find someone to take her. I found a friend that wanted her for her daughter. I knew she\'d be taken care of. Sadie had just turned 1. That 1st night without her was pure torture. I stayed awake all night and cried and cried. It hurt so much not having her in the bed with me. My husband could not understand why I was sobbing so much over her. That was a Wednesday. I got up the courage to send and email to the lady who got her that weekend. It was very long and heartwrenching. I told her I knew that by now her daughter had probably gotten close to her, but I really, really wanted to get her back. I even offered her more than what she paid for all of her belongings. Of course, she sent back that she and her daughter had prayed about it and that there was just no way they could give her up. They had already fallen in love. It took me several months to stop crying at night. But not long after, I began the search for my forever Yorkie. I brought Sophie home last May, 2 months after Sadie left. She is such a blessing, so well behaved, has never been a chewer, has been sleeping with me since the 2nd night I had her, and was able to have total reign of the entire house very early. As of the last few weeks, she is totally pee pad trained!!! Yay, Sophie!

They always say everything happens for a reason, and I do believe that. If everything would not have happened like it did, I would not have the love of my life. Sophie is the perfect companion. BUT, it didn\'t make getting rid of Sadie any easier. I still see pictures of her and wish she was here with me too. I know there\'s no possible way for that...if she was here, my sweet Sophie wouldn\'t be since I would have had no reason to look for another at that time.

Believe me, Sophie is going NO WHERE!!! Hubby is so much better this time around. He\'s been told that she will not be leaving this house EVER, and he plays with her too. She also sleeps with him when Mama isn\'t available. It took a while, but he has finally come around.

Anyway, you may want to reconsider giving her up. I wouldn\'t want you to go through what I did.