I guess my husband doesn't love dogs
 

He made it clear this morning. Just moments ago when he stepped in poop in bare feet. He screamed: "This is a violation of my comfort zone and if you fail to train that dog to poop outside - she has to GO!"

It doesn't bother me what he said/the ultimatum... it's what came after that. I don't give a rat's a$$ about that dog.

I ALWAYS suspected this. I just don't get people who don't love dogs (or other animals for that matter!). As I'm writing this I have tears welling in my eyes. It's a terrible thing to know about your husband and I know that I'm judging his entire character on whether or not he has the capacity to love an animal and this is wrong of me, but I can't seem to separate out my feelings or see things rationally.

This dog means the world to me. I have a very hard time with winters (anxiety attacks / depression) and this little girl has brightened my outlook and lifted me in a way I cannot describe. I call her Princess Prozac because I don't have to take medicine with her in my life.

I'm very upset right now...
-Lisa

I'm very sorry....and hope what he said that out of anger.

I'll say this...with all the joy a dog brings into someone life...what's a little poop? :)

I'd prefer mine didn't destroy things or have accidents too...but we accept the trade.

oh my gosh , you are going through a tough time :confused: hopefully she will be housetrained soon :) my husband would not put me in that position but if he did i am afraid poppy would win ;) does he not realise you might become unwell again without her :confused: fingers crossed for you , good luck , love jill n poppy xx :aimeeyork

I don't blame him for being a little pissed off. People need to understand not everyone likes dogs, that does not make them bad people. I hope your little one after some time grows on him and he changes his mind :love:
Good Luck

People says a lot of things out of anger.
But if this is his true feelings you may want to evaluate your relationship.

For me personally speaking, I will never date/marry anyone who doesn't care for animals. They play a BIG part in my life and if someone can't deal with them it's time to move on.

I hear your upsetness. I have tears in my eyes reading this. I'd like to put to one side, what your husband response means or doesn't mean to his character, and just focus on the practicalities for a moment.

Back when I was "training" Razz it was wintertime, and I didn';t want him out in the cold in the backyard, we had a record winter for snow that year. And quite simply I was used to another breed that was housetrained easily. But I also had no idea about potty pad training, and quite frankly I was too lax in that regard. My hubby exploded one day, and said you are not training this dog well, get with it! My hubby is a dog lover over and over again. But still he exploded at me. This explosion sat me back.
I looked over what I had failed to do with this indoor business, and said later to him, you are right I have not trained this dog well.

So I changed things a lot. Became much more disciplined on bringing him to his potty pad after eating, sleeping, coming out of crate etc. I became very vigilant to always look to see if there were "accidents". Guess what he became very good on the potty training, and my husband saw my effort, and supported it. For example when he would take Razz out of his crate in the morning, he would carry him to his peepad, and make sure he pee'd.

It might or might not be true in the long run that your husband doesn't give a Rat's A$$ about the dog, but if she becomes a good member of your household that will take away some of his concern.

In terms of your hubby, all I will say after 5 decades living, is men often say in anger what they don't really totally one hundred percent mean.

Get her trained, be first to notice her mistakes, clean up fast. She means the world to you, so this should be easy for you to do. Once this has happened, see how your hubby reacts.

I would not make a judgement based soley on he copes with stepping in dog poop.

I tell that to my dogs everytime I step in it, that if they don't learn to poop outside they are all going to have to go. As soon as the mess is cleaned up, I'm back to loving on them.

I hope that was a momentary lapse on his part. Perhaps you should consider an x-pen with a pad in it to keep things on an even keel. You may need to take up poop patrol, too. I wouldn't pay too much heed to what was said in anger. I would use an x-pen and seriously consider poop patrol though. I hope your day gets better.:)

Great response. I think the key is for your husband to see genuine effort from both you and Princess. Hang in there!!

I think I understand how upset you must feel. George didn't want another dog after my Bungee died but he gave in when he understood how important it was to me. I'm extremely careful about supervising Tallulah so she can't be the innocent cause of a rift -- when I can't have my eye on her and clean up any accidents immediately, she's in one of her x-pens.

Could your husband be jealous of the dog?

What a beautiful outpouring of support. Thank you all so much. We've had a ton of snow here and I have issues letting her outside because even with two shirts and a sweater she shivers. And that freaks me out because my anxiety attacks are triggered by cold. I am basically aware of her every move throughout the day and she's always by my side... it's only when the snow is SO high or it's so freezing that I allow her to poop in the house. She ALWAYS misses the pee-pee pad with poop but she uses the pad without fail for peeing.

I'm going to read and re-read these posts and take some time to absorb the thoughts here. Thanks for taking the time and showing how much you care.

Hugs, Lisa

My boyfriend said the same thing when my Teddy peed on his bed. He wanted to play with him, and when I saw him taking Teddy into his room I told him to watch him...he said "yeah okay got it," and the next thing I know he came back screaming put Teddy in his crate and said "I don't give a #$@% about your dog! He peed on my bed! Clean it!" I was so angry/upset/crying I just looked at Teddy and left to clean it. Because I was angry I blamed him for the mistake since I TOLD HIM to WATCH HIM, he decided to put the dog on the bed and turn away to do something else...of course he was going to have an accident! Well, thankfully the incident is behind us, but in my personal experience I think people are less forgiving about a pet's mistakes if it isn't their own pet. In his mind (and I'm sure in your husband's too) the event in question would have NEVER occurred if "you" did not decide to have a dog in the first place. Personally, if the scenario was reversed and someone else's dog peed on my bed I think I would have been extremely angry except I probably wouldn't have said anything mean because I'm not the type of person to blurt things out when I'm angry, but I probably would have silently said the same thing to myself or in my head. I doubt your husband will "make you" get rid of the dog (if he is anything like my boyfriend, or most people for that matter) I think he just doesn't like to be put in a situation that he sees is not a direct result of his own choices...either way hang in there.

Lisa
I'm sorry your husband made you feel badly. Trust me though, after they step in poop enough times they get over it. Some dogs even crap in their dad's slippers (I'm thinking of Pebbles!) so it could be worse.
Life is too short, poop can be cleaned, tell your husband to get over it, and be happy :)

I am sorry you are so upset. As the others have said, hopefully he was just really angry about stepping it poop. My DH has stepped in wet spots and poop and sometimes yells when they are all barking but he gets over it. The next thing I know he is loving on one or another of them. I have days where I threaten to run away if they don't start behaving, then I realize I am the one responsible for training them to be good living companions. I hope you can relax and enjoy the day. Winters are hard on people.

This pretty much says what I think too. Of course, I'm also single, as I haven't had the luck to meet someone who might love my seven dogs (at times more with fosters) and three cats as much as I do :).

I do feel bad you are having this issue.

Well, stepping in dog poop in bare feet can definitely bring out the worst in a person!

I have probably said a few choice words myself when that has happened and I love my babies more than anything.

Hopefully, your husband will learn to watch where he is walking with a puppy in the house; you will be able to get your puppy outdoor trained when the weather clears; and everyone will be happy.

Fingers crossed.

Oh My Lord. Antifreeze in blood? I am very glad he is no longer with you

It's just really hard to be rational with poop on your foot. I know this is not funny, but I am laughing at the mental picture. :lol tears

That is horrible. It's one thing to dislike a dog, but another to poison them.

If dogs were not in your lives when you got married, or you never really had any reason to discuss them, I can see how this could become a conflict in any relationship. I too hope it was out of anger, but still a very mean thing to say.

After reading your thread and others statments, I guess I feel very fortunate that my DH allows me to have the animals I want. He was not necessarily an animal lover before me met, and we've definitely had our battles over other things, (we've been together 23 years) but he KNOWS attacking the animals in my life are just off limits because they are special to me. He loves the dogs though. I have always had a rule in life, and that is that if someone gives you the ultimatum of a choice, them or something else you love, then that's the point in time you chose the other. No one that loves you would ever make you choose them over something else.

Because I do feel the dogs are really "my" thing, I do take extra caution to be the main caregiver, the one to clean up any messes, training, etc. That way, my DH only has to have the pleasure of giving and receiving their love. But again, he does a good job of taking the responsibility when I am not home. Our Mylee is one of the most challenging dogs I have ever had in every way possible to imagine. But my DH is totally in love and there is nothing that dog can do in his eyes that he would be angry for, or at least say something so mean. But if this were early in our marriage, it may have been more of a problem. So, there is hope and I hope you two can work it out so everyone stays and is happy.

I was going to suggest an x-pen also when I read your post. When you can't watch your dog, it is a good place for them. I don't overuse mine, but at times it is a good place for Copper to be. If he doesn't potty outside when the weather is bad, I put him in the pen for a while. He has pads in the pen. I made it comfy cozy with a blanket and bed, etc.

My hubby is not a dog lover either. He likes Copper well enough if he is doing what he is supposed to. But, I think he would prefer we didn't have any pets since it inconveniences us taking trips, etc. However, I'm home alone a lot. Copper has helped me through a lot of depression, etc.

I will be thinking of you today. Praying if you don't mind. :)

I'm sorry you are upset, but it is never fun to step in poo! I did that one time when Pnut was a puppy, but even stepping in his poo would never make me say those things.. I think you should sit down and talk to him, tell him how much she means to you... Also you might have to give her more dicipline and start working on training her more, I have to watch Pnut like a hawk!! Sometimes he would have accidents, and DH would step in pee :rolleyes: and he would get irratated, but he delt with it. I think if you want to have dogs in your life and this is the way he is going to treat you, you might want to think about your realationship.. Peanut is 3 and I just started really training him, like boot camp style and he is doing so much better!

So its hard to say if he was just mad that he stepped in poo and thats why he said those things or if he really doesnt like dogs, but I think the best thing to do is sit down and talk to him, maybe if you tell him you are going to work with her training more, he will be more into her... Men are something, they are hard to read! Good luck!! I hope the best for you :D

Ok... so I'm not the wisest when it comes to relationships, seeing I really haven't been around too long, but Matt and I have been together for 3 years living together for 2 1/2 + of that. Harley came into our lives last year.

Trust me, poop can bring the worst out of someone, and Matt has made his fair share of complaints about Harley, he wanted to go on a 4 month Europe trip when we graduate this year, and sees Harley as a huge obstacle for this, which has caused much arguments over the past 2 years. HOWEVER, deep down there is always the loving man who turns to mush when he sees Harley.

It is my hope that your husband just really didn't appreciate the squishy feeling of barefoot on poop, and that he really loves your baby. When Matt doubts Harley or comments on his training, I always approach it this way. I tell him I know he's my dog, but if we work together training gets done sooner. (ie right now we're working on recall, and Matt needs to start following rules, we followed the same ritual with potty training), then I explain how much Harley has done good things for me (as I too suffer from anxiety and some depression).

Best of luck. Keep us posted.

omg! that is unbeleivable ...I take it was more then the dogs for this relationship to go south! still he tried to kill your dogs is sick! glad you left him cause I would have too! who needs this in there life.

Do you actually see her go poop not on the pads? The reason I'm asking is that Sadie did the same thing. She's very private about pooping so we have pads in rooms we don't go in much and that's where she goes. I didn't think she was using the pads because it was always on the floor. One day I saw her going on the pad but nothing came out. As she was trotting away from the pad poop was falling all over the floor. She really thought she was going on the pad but it didn't fall off her hair till she got moving. I haven't figured out how to solve this one. We just pick it up quickly and are thankful that the pee goes on the pad. Oh - and she absolutely will not go poop outside walking on a leash. She is really extremely private about it. The good news is that she goes in rooms that we aren't walking around in much. :D

I have trouble with this too. One thing that can help is diet. If the poop comes out fast, it will fall off as soon as the dog stands up.

I've tried to implement a system where Thor only gets a treat if the poop is on the pad, with mixed success. He understands now that poop off the pad isn't good, and sometimes he'll squat for a couple extra seconds. But every so often, nothing but a good long poop stroll will do.

To the OP: you said you suffer from anxiety. Dogs are GREAT for that. :) Is it possible that your husbands words are hitting you a little harder than he intended them? As other people have said, if you feed her at the same time every day, she'll probably need to poop about an hour afterward, and you can make sure to xpen her / have her on the pad at that time. Ideally, you will be able teach her to poop on command. I use the command "BM", again, with limited success.

He said that probably from anger and didn't mean it. Long story short, Smokey had severe anxiety issues and would constantly have diarrhea no matter what we did and he would smear it everywhere. My husband didn't have a whole lot of patience and I could sense a little resentment towards Smokey. After I figured out what was causing the anxiety, came up with a solution, and training schedule, things got a lot better and Smokey and hubby are very close.

That is awful!!! So glad you got rid of him... poisoning dogs to try to kill them... what would have been next? That would definitely be someone that I could not trust.

That horrible....my heart just broke for you reading this. Bless your heart, I can't even imagine going throught that..........but that I would have done the samething! My husband knows...don't call me out on my dog, he would lose and has said that to others, lol. So. lucky for him. he loves Zhoie butt too.