That is horrible! I'm so sorry you had to go through that! I once went out with a man before I met my current boyfriend, who had e-mailed me the day after our date saying he was pi*sed off at his cat for throwing up. It was a huge red flag for me, because who gets upset at their pet for being sick? It's not his cat's fault! Needless to say, I never talked to him again.

To the OP, I'm so sorry you feel this way. Is there a way you can talk to your husband about the way this made you feel? Would he understand what your baby means to you? I know it's easier said than done, but if you can talk it out (even with a friend if you don't want to talk with your husband yet) maybe it will make you feel better. I know for me, if I talk out my anger/frustration I will look at it more rationally and not blow up at the person I'm upset with. That way I'm coming from a more calm place, and I can explain my feelings better. I know it's hard though, and I hope you can feel better soon.

I'm sorry you had a bad day. He said it out of anger, and bare foot and dog poo WILL make a person angry.
I hope tomorrow is better.

I'm sorry your husband is making you feel bad. Thank heavens my husband is so easy going. In the past years I can't even count how many times he has stepped in poop or vomit or what ever. Most of the time I'm yelling at him to watch where he walks because he has gotten it on a rug.

OH GOODNESS - Bonnie is a poop-walker too:D I have tried to tell DH that is why poop is in a little "trail". As long as the first part is on the pad, I am happy, because she has the best of intentions. LOL But, I am like you and only treat if the whole bm is on the pad.
The best part is that after she does her business, she runs to me like the poop is after her, so I know to go get it up before DH sees it:rolleyes:

It is my observation that the male sex never looks where they are walking. I always try to watch my step, cause stepping in poop would make me say a few choice things too:eek:

OP, my husband has been less than thrilled having a dog in the house, also. He was raised thinking that dogs belong outside. We have been married 29 years and have had Bonnie 2 years this month. It took me that long to convince him that I "needed" a pet. He says things and acts like he doesn't really care about her, but everyday when I get home - who do you think is sitting in my DH's lap? Yep, bonding. I think he cares more than he would ever admit.

I think you need to evaluate how he acts towards you, not just this particular incident - although I do understand why you're questioning the type of man he is bc of it, trust me, I get it. I don't mean to get too personal and I am not wanting an answer to these questions, but just ask yourself - does he yell at you frequently? Does he constantly get mad over small things? Is he abusive verbally or mentally at all? Or is he just being inconsiderate? Being that she's provided you with so much joy and helped you tackle depression, I would think he'd be loving the dog as much as you do!

Like someone else said, not liking dogs doesn't make someone a bad person but if this is important to you then it's most definitely important that your spouse either has the same love for animals or can tolerate the downfalls of being a pet owner without throwing a tantrum. Now, I loooove my puppy more than anything. She is my BABY, but when she does something I'm not fond of (and yes, it's usually poop or pee) I always tell her "You're going to the shelter!" which I OBVIOUSLY do not mean or would ever consider, it's just my way to release that nano second of anger and calm down. Men tend to be angrier than women and won't have as much patience with this sort of thing. I know it's heartbreaking to you that he would say he doesn't care about your puppy - tell him how much she means to you. I'm sure he has something he loves that you don't share the same enthusiasm for, but you respect it bc you love him and wouldn't tell him that something he loves is of no value to you - compare it to that so he can truly grasp the situation and not just think you're being overly sensitive over a puppy.

I really do think he just lost his temper bc of a gross incident. I think most of us would say something we didn't mean in the same situation. The only concerning factor to me is that you felt he didn't care about her before this even happened. Good luck and I hope you and the pup get an apology soon.

AWW !! I am so so sorry ): everything will be okay i hope.
i pray for you & your babby. i feel like if your husband really loves you he wont make you make that choice.

we just got back from the beach and i took my babies with me i had to use pee pads in the motel room i put 2 down and one was near the bathroom i woke up with water running around 4 am asked hubby was he was doing and you guess it he was washing poop off that he had stepped
in glad he loves Porscha as much as i do


hope everything will be ok for you

Pat & porscha

I really feel for you and the position you are in. When I was training Brandy, every time she went poddy I would jump up and down clapping saying good poddy and give her a treat (1/4 of a cheerio.) I did the same thing when she went pooh, except I would say good pooh. Brandy totally understands what it means when I tell her to go poddy or go pooh. She actually goes on command. I don't treat her anymore, but I still say the words and often will jump up and down clapping. I must look like an idiot but it really works. Good Luck!

We call that the happy dance!!! I do the same thing!

I'm sorry -- that must make you feel terrible.

My dad is constantly saying "I hate dogs! I'm never getting dogs again after these 2!" after they poop, or are barking, or begging. But I find it funny that he's the first one to be on the floor cuddling with them, or giving them food, or babytalking to them. He's a HUGE dog lover and would help any dog in need. But he probably says 'I hate dogs!!!' atleast twice a week, LOL!

I am really sorry, but I don't think you're wrong to judge your husband's character by how he treats your dog. When you have dogs, there are accidents. Things sometimes get torn up and there is sometimes poop and pee on your carpet. You clean it up and move on. This is all part of dog ownership. The rewards are (IMO) well worth it.

There's a woman in my neighborhood who has a dog (which I will call B.) B. is one of those "fighting breed" dogs (I think an Amstaff of some sort). Anyway, B. is a very good dog, but hyper and a bit of a handful. When he was a puppy, he would tear things up in the house and required a lot of attention. At the time, B.'s mom was married. The husband didn't like the dog (even though he was the one who initially wanted the dog) and wasn't really tolerant of B.'s puppy behavioral issues. Finally, the husband one day told B.'s mom that B. had to go. Mom refused to give the dog up and the husband said, "Well, either I leave or the dog leaves." Three years later, B. is still there and B.'s mom is happily divorced. (and B. has calmed down quite a bit and is a wonderful dog).

Point of this story is that dog's are a way of life and both spouses have to be committed to what it takes to care for a dog. My parents rescued a dog, which we named Sam, many years ago that was just a mess. Sam was never able to be potty trained and had quite a few health issues. Anyway, my parents both loved him to pieces and were both completely committed to caring for Sam, even if that meant cleaning up potty pads several times a day. Sam passed away last year, and despite all that my parents went through with him, they still miss him terribly. They have gone on to rescue two other dogs and are just as committed to them.

If your husband is that opposed to dogs and you love dogs that much, perhaps you need to reevaluate your whole marriage. Marriage is about compromise and maybe he will never like dogs but will learn to not say such horrible things. I don't know much about your specific situation, but I do know that if my partner said something like that to me, I would most likely end the relationship.

Dear Lisa,
I am so sorry you are going through this. I know how much it is hurting your right now.

I want you to go buy your husband a pair of house shoes, ones that would be easy to clean if he steps in poop again. Then write a short note promising him that you will do your best to keep the floors clean and sign it. Stick the note inside one of the slippers and gift wrap them. Say they are a gift from you furbutt.

After he opens his gift, sit down with him and tell him what you have told us about your feelings. Even if you have told him before - he doesn't seem to have heard all of it yet.

Ask him if he would deny or begrudge you medicine if you were sick.

I do hope, like the others that this was just a case of momentary anger but you know from other behaviors if he is the type of man you fear he may be. I think you know the answer already don't you?

I wish you luck sweetie. I hope you can feel better real soon.

Hugs
Lou

Lisa...I'm so sorry you are going through this...but I will tell you that my dh would say dumb things about our first yorkie Biscuit (get rid of that stupid dog etc) when he was not behaving the way dh thought he should..usually barking up a storm....but would sit with him on the couch etc. Well, Biscuit passed away last year and guess who cried ... yep, my dh (not as much as me, but still..) After seeing how devastated I was about losing my dog and how much I missed him, my dh suggested that we adopt another yorkie. That is how Trixie came into our lives. My dh knows that Trixie is a huge part of our life (I also suffer from anxiety/panic attacks) and knows that she has a wonderfully calming effect when I am not feeling so well. Our kids always joke that dad says he doesn't want a dog, but he really really loves her. They think he is just being "a tough guy". He even takes her for walks with our friends goldendoodle. (He will draw the line about the doggie stroller though).
I think you need to speak to your dh about how hurt your feelings are and really evaluate how he behaves with the dog. If he is kind towards your pup, then perhaps he is just being a "tough guy' too ....especially after he has a foot full of poop.

Every other day, dh is fussing about any mistakes the babies make. We got married on 12-17-82. I had a puppy before Christmas that year. Unfortunetly he was killed by a car. Years went by before I could get another dog due to living with other people, and an apt. As soon as we moved from the apt, we were at the animal shelter looking for a dog. I have had dogs ever since. Each time dh says no more. He used to be a clean freak, not so much now.
We got Gypsy 6 yrs ago. then I sd she needed a playmate so 4 yrs ago came Puff as a gift for dh who wanted a chi, Dh saying that is it, no more. Last yr we got Seymour. I was told again, no more, we have too many. LOL. Saturday we welcomed Harley. If it had not been a chi, dh would have sd no and refused to call about him. I told him it was my birthday present. (it is this wednesday though I pd the rehoming fee of 25.00) After 28 years of marriage, I know how far I can push him. So, no more CL or newspaper classifieds. We are done. Our bed is full and we have a very loving household.

GOOD ADVICE:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

So sorry your husband yelled at you. Give him a couple pairs of slipper socks with rubber bottoms and tell him Puppy's sorry, he's in training and he'll get better. Yellling only makes it worse. I know how you feel, my baby is having issues, Daddy's home in a neck brace and a lot is going on. He's feeling my stress and had a few accidents in the house. It's also his first year to deal with the SNOW. It's a work in progress.
Hang in there. Wolfie and Mommy.

WOW! I didn't check the forum for a while, but I came back to report that my poor Princess has been away at "positive training" doggie boot camp in a woman's home for the past week. She'll be there for a total of almost two weeks. I appreciate citygirl123 and beyonce'smom prayers and everyone's wonderful advice so very much! The camp is expensive, but I'm hoping she'll come back with some new found behavioral restraint.

The poop incident really was my husband's breaking point. I know he's a good man, but he just isn't bonding with the dog. She barks at him EVERY TIME he enters a room. I've had her since August and you'd think she'd be used to him by now, but she doesn't care for his "vibe", I guess. I really wish he could find some joy in dog companionship, but he doesn't even pet her (even if I ask). He says "She's cute." sometimes. But that's about it. I can't force him to love animals, I guess. I just don't relate to it, at all. Dogs and cats and even bunnies make me melt with love.

I like the slippers advice. I'm ON that one, for sure. Very good advice. I'll look into an x-pen, but we have a small home built in the 20's - each room is small and I'm afraid it would take up a lot of space. Plus, anything that might make her bark, will instigate more tension in an already tense situation.

My lil girl does help me with anxiety, so he understands that... but the winter is AWFUL for Yorkies in the Northeast! :(

I could put up with someone being upset about the mess on the bed but his words: "clean it" is demanding and superior and is verbal abuse and is unacceptable. When our son was little and often left a few hot wheel cars laying around, my hubby would step on one and it'd hurt and he'd start complaining "those toys need cleaning up" - so I told him if I lived in a place where there was a mess I couldn't tolerate I'd either clean it up myself or move out. He chose to help clean up after that. It's not your total responsibility and he'd be wise to see that.

very nicely put! my husband was not an animal lover either, but Bailey has grown on him and now he loves him to death HOWEVER he still gets very angry if Bailey misses and tells me to clean it right away. If he's in a good mood he'll do it himself, but that's rare...lol... all in all he loves Bailey but that doesn't take away the fact that he does get mad and say things when he's mad.

I am so sorry you are upset. I am sure he is a great person and really did not mean it. To be honest I would not be happy if I stepped in poop-- and if I could blame it on someone else I am sure I would vent.
You have received a lot of good advice. I am for crate training a puppy, with positive reinforcements. I am on dog #4-- and it is not fun but if you hang in there it will work out. One of my guys was my daughter's and she couldn't keep him so he was a bit older when we got him. I ALMOST gave up on him a few times... I don't think he was really trained until he was about 2 (a lot older than most... don't worry). But I would not give one of my kids away so I won't give up on a furkid.

Hey--- if winter is so hard for you -- move near me :p

Honestly..... good luck, don't give up, TALK to dh when you are not as upset and you both can be calm.

glad 2 see so many responses for you, i think women are more tolerant of the trouble our babies get into, poop etc, i too love my babies soo much that i never really get mad at them & they have pooped all over, chewed my furniture, favorite shoes, etc, etc. ( they are better behaved each day) but my point is women & women dog lovers especially are pretty tolerant. i would guess your husband does love your pooch just got frustrated when the poop squished between his toes. ha ha. hope things get better for you. sometimes just have to vent

Yikes! I guess I'm lucky with my bf, I've never had to show him that it's "the dog" that would win a "me or the dog" ultimatum. Just before he left for the states a little over a week ago, he was running around getting his bag all packed up and I think the stress vibes he was putting off put Rizz into "forgetful mode" and Rizz made a mess on the floor (right next to a piddle pad). Bf stepped right into it and got cold soggy socks, I was in the restroom at the time and when I came out I saw him sitting on the floor cleaning his foot off. I was actually suprised at his reaction, he just told me that he put Rizzo in his crate because he made a mess. Me being me started apologizing and cleaning immediately, but he told me to calm down. :) he knows how happy Rizzo makes me so he makes sure to be cool headed when things like this happen. Which they do. Often. :)
Are you at the doggy daycamp with your pup? Training is important for both owners and pups, personally I'd say training is more 80% human and 20% dog. I'd even recommend having your husband go to the training with your pup, it'll help them bond which it sounds like they really need.

Sweet
 

This was great. A nice way to make him understand that you love him but you are not getting rid of the dog and that you are trying your best.

I have always believed in the positive...'kill em' with kindness' this might make him feel bad for acting like a bully. :thumbup:

I'm sorry you are going through this. I really don't think he hates your fur baby. Just the pooping.His reaction was from from that. Take her outside more often and when she poops out there praise praise praise and a treat for reward. I can understand how you feel for what your babe has added to your life. Have a nice talk with hubby and explain things also tell him that to please be patient as you are working on the training and it takes time.

Poop training
 

Lisa, I know what your winter has been like and little dogs aren't so happy going out to do their business.

I got my new little 'Princess Libby' I call her Libby, in Nov. I live in North Dakota. It is do darned cold here. She was 6 mos old when I got her, so she had only gone on a pee pad. Heck, I don't know if she had ever even been outside, because when we brought her home and put her out she had a ball! She is now over 8 mos old and should be better trained but she has had a late start on any training.

Anyway she is doing fairly well, going outside, but she pees on the pad but has decided that the best place to poop is in a corner in my sewing room! No matter what I do, she wants to poop right there!! Little pooper!

I really am trying with going outside but sometimes with -50* windchill it is just hard sometimes to get her out there.

I am however concerned about your pup and the barking when your husband comes home. She is just trying to get his attention. Can't he just pay a little attention to her? That's just mean. If he'd just pet her a little, I'm sure things would change a lot, for both of them. I just can't understand that kind of behavior.:mad:

I tell you even last night my husband threw my baby up in my face about how we can't sleep together in the same bed because of him. Or if we do sleep in the same bed, he's worried he's going to roll over on him or Bailey will snap at him. I put a call in to Dog Training by Bark Busters so hopefully they can help me with some of these issues.

I am so very lucky to have met and fell in love with a guy who not only LOVES my boys (it took time) but also tolerates all their mishaps and such. My man LOVES me .... and in that deal is them whom he knows I love more than anything in the world. That means to love me means to love them to him. Now, I have also done things to help his love for them grow. Ive gotten better at training, I got Fletcher fixed when I didn't really want to.... I knew this would make our living situation with them easier for all of us.
He also knows that if he sneaks them bits of food (which he does wayyy more than i do) that he may have to pay the price of that, which might be poop in the house. Overall though, he is wonderful... he rubs them down each morning and takes them for car rides even if it's just to the dump. He takes pics of them for me when he's with them and I'm at work or something so I can see what they are doing and because he knows seeing them during my boring work day will put a smile on my face. I am so lucky and my boys are too, thankfully!! :)