Yorkie obsession....feelings hurt
 

Ok, this has bothered me since Christmas Eve. My son, his wife & children came from VA for the day. Close to when they were getting ready to leave, my son pulls me aside and says, mom, come to the garage I need to talk with you privately.

Ok well, we get out there and he said, mom, we have talked and this is a very serious problem you have with this obsession you have with Zhoie. You are/it's not normal.

I know I looked dumbfounded, it really took me back and I probably didn't handle it right. I looked at him and said "son, if you have a serious problem with this....it's your serious problem, not mine. Later, when they were gone and I started thinking about it, I was nearly brought to tears. What is so wrong with me loving my dog unconditionally? It certainly does not make me a nut case, like I felt he was referring too. Geez.

Thought please :confused:

Until one has a yorkie, I don't think they can understand the depth of feelings we have for them. I know I had no clue just how deeply these little ones would worm their way in to my heart.

Let it go and look at it as his loss that he doesn't "get it". There are a whole lot of worse things to be obsessed about.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! My kids say the same thing about me and I don't care. I love my babies and would do anything for them and no one can change that.

I agree whole heartily! Some people just dont understand, but, try not to let it bother you too much...its not worth it! Just love your baby just the way you do and others will just have to get over it! You owe no explanations for loving your little one!! ;)

then we are all a nut case my son give me and hubby a trip to the beach
hubby wants to leave Wed morning son lives next door they both said the dogs would not be a problem well what part did they not understand i'm not going with out them so they had better find me a place to stay that takes my babies

Thank you both! I knew others must face the samething and would be able to reassure me....I AM normal (yorkie mama normal) lol. ;)

Well, I guess there are a lot of members on here who are not normal then - count me as 1 of them - so if loving your Yorkie unconditionally is not normal then you are in good company with the rest of us on this forum:)

Well, that topic probably should have been discussed when there was time to actually "discuss" how and why he felt the way he did.

On the plus side he did take you aside privately, and maybe intended that you really think a lot about what he said, in hopes that you and he could have a future conversation.

I'm assuming that you have a pretty good relationship with your son. So the way is clear for you to inquire of him a little more about just what in his mind constitutes an "unhealthy" obsession, and how he perceives this obession negatively affecting your life, well being and happiness.

I do know that many of my acquaintances do not at all understand the time I take with my dogs, and my wholehearted interest in dogs. How-ever my friends who for the most part do the same types of things I do with my dogs, have no problem understanding. In our milieu, it is natural to put social engagements on a temp hold, dependent on how this dog or that cat does after surgery, or if one of the pups is ill, etc.

I can certainly see how you were blindsided by this statement. And how in the heat of the moment you uttered certainly what is true most times; that is if his idea of "proper" dog ownership, love and affection differs from yours, doesn't mean your idea is wrong, or even overdone in any way.

I'm sorry that this had to happen in this joyous season, and wish a better New Year for you and yours.

Thank you...I feel much better....it is my son that doesn't get it....not me.

I agree 100% with Rhetts_mama. I must admit I was one of those people who looked at people with toy breeds (including YTs) that coddled and babied them as crazy. I didn't get it because I never had one. NOW I get it. I got it as soon as I decided I wanted a little pup to be my companion and started researching.

You care about them because they NEED you. They need you to know all this stuff and do all this stuff because they can't. The lengths we go to may seem crazy to those that don't have little pups, but once you have one you know that those are just things that should be done for them.

Don't let others who misunderstand make you feel bad. I know I've stopped listening to them and trust me I was given a lot of grief. I am now labeled a "hypocrite" and I get a lot of "see you did turn into a crazy dog lady despite you saying you would never be like that." But my baby is healthy and happy, just the way it should be :D

I agree with everyone. You are not obsessed. You love your yorkie and people have to understand it and if they don't, please don't let it get to you. My son took me to my very first Yankees game this past October. I had a great time but when we got back in the car to come home, I couldn't get home quick enough to see Sammy. Even while we were at the game, I was wondering if he was OK. You are not the only one who loves your yorkie so very much!! Nothing wrong with it!!

Thank you, I may talk more with my son about his feelings and why a little later on when I'm less emotional about his statements.

His thoughts are and always have been, a dog should be treated like a dog, no more no less.

As the old saying goes "They Have To Walk A Mile In Your Shoes". Nobody understands people who love their animals unless they have one to love. They also don't know the love they give back every day. They don't know what they're missing. So don't get upset about it. It's their loss.

Yes, that's it exactly....they need us! I have always had dogs my entire life, but before having a little one like this, I never knew the nuturing instinct she would bring out in me. Maybe that is part of it for me too, I don't have children home anymore, so she is it. They are little and the needing us never stops. It's like always having a baby. I love it!! Thank you!

I knew my YT friends would listen and take away the nagging feelings I was having. Thank you all....much better now.

I am the same way I could never have children so Patches is my child. I love him with all my heart and soul




Patches & Winnie

I believe for some of us that they make up for the empty nest, I was always use to having my kids & their friends in and out of the house, just because they are not here any more i'm not gonna just sit and do nothing.

my babies need me just like i need them we love and take care of each other :)

I could think of a million worse things to be obsessed over! I agree with the other posters, it is your son's problem, not yours!

I understand how you feel. We do not have children, we have our three little Yorkies, and we love them to pieces. We worry if their mood seems "off", we sit up all night when the weather is bad, (if necessary), because Darcy is terriified of storms.

My hubby just informed me today that he wanted me to call the groomer for Darcy tomorrow. I was trying to let her grow out a little for the cold weather, but he says long hair is "not her look" :p. Just last night, when it was cold enough to use the electric blanket, I got up and slipped a heating pad between the folds of Darcy's blanket, since all her Jammies are in the wash.(She does not like to sleep with us).

When we leave the house to go out to eat, and to the movies, there have been times we both decided to go to the store "another day", and come on home because we didn't want to leave them that long.

so, I am sure your son would think we were nuts, too! :D You are not alone here...we all love our babies!

Whenever someone looks at me like I'm crazy ~ I say, Yes, that's my little child substitute.

I make no bones about it; yes, I love having something little and furry to love, to hold, and to play with. My son is a teen-ager; he's busy doing his own thing most of the time; and he just laughs whenever I say that. He hee-haws about me being on Yorkietalk and tells everyone that his name comes last on my YT signature.

All my friends think I'm over the top (I'm not) but I just laugh it off. They have no idea.

I would be upset if my son approached me in that manner as well. I think keeping a level head and discussing it with him later is a good idea. He may NEVER completely understand. But he is busy doing his own thing and what's wrong with you doing your yorkie thing?? How is that harmful to anyone? Maybe he's a wee bit jealous?

Yes, I do believe that is exactly she Zhoie does for me. It's a good thing...never lonely with my girlie around.

You know, maybe he is a wee-bit. I never gave it much thought but he has made remarks before....like, geez mom, you love that dog more than me, etc.

But come on, I never gave that a serious thought, he is 32 yrs. Guess a boy never gets over needing to be #1 to his mommy, LOL.

That is so true. I've had them my entire life! He may understand more, when he gets older, too. If not, so be it!:)

Count me as not normal too! People who love dogs are the best IMO :-)

In our Yorkie world, you are absolutely NORMAL! And I don't care what the non-Yorkie world thinks! I grew up with dogs as pets throughout my entire life - Doberman, Rottweiler, German Shepard, Pug, and many mixed-breeds. I loved them but no where NEAR as deeply as I love my Yorkies Rio and Bullet. Until you have a Yorkie, you just don't know what that feels like. I get teased by my family (in a loving way) that I've become one of the "those" people. I just smile proudly and say, "Yes I have." ;)

don't let him bother you. i'm a yorkie nutcase too. my entire family thinks i've lost it because i love and treat my two like children. my mom is upset when they get sick on her/my floor or have an accident but to me they are just babies that don't mean to do it and are in a new place that doesn't have the same smells and it's hard to be perfect all the time :D i love them more than i ever thought possible to love. i plan to tatoo sadie's paw print on my foot someday because i want to walk with her forever. i know they think i'm nuts but she's my baby girl and i have a bond with her i cannot explain and i love Bent. with a different bond i can't explain. those nights when he lets me hold him like a teddy bear to sleep with and the way sadie just knows what i mean when i talk to her. it's unreal the love that grew from us together. but we see them everyday and watch them grow and love them more than others can know. it's a lot like children. no one can love them like their mommies can.

I hear ya on those details above.

I agree with the others. Some people don't understand how important our dogs are to us. My animals are treated just like family. Maybe your son is jealous of the attention you give the dog?

My reply would be something like, (with question marks all over my face) "Oh, and when I was obsessed with you like this it was OK and normal? Maybe we have a grown man here who is just jealous of a small dog? I think you are the one with the problem. Get some help." Maybe he'll think about it & feel pretty silly & petty. He's living his life, and you can live yours. He ought to be happy you have some joy in your life.

I think you handled it perfectly and your answer was spot on! It is his problem, you are doing fine. My son is in his 30s as well.

Your son didn't pull you aside and say, ''mom we think you are drinking too much, "mom why do you hate my wife, "mom why are spending all our inheritance down at the casino, shouldn't you be home more?"""

There are alot of things that some sons can complain about their mothers...this...is not one of them.

I wouldn't bring it back up. He said what he thought needed saying, you replied perfectly. Let sleeping dogs nap. You love him, he loves you (or he wouldn't have felt close enough to have broached the subject)... all is right with the world. God bless us everyone!!