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-   -   Everyone: can we TURN UP the COMPASSION here? (https://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/general-yorkshire-terrier-discussion/206864-everyone-can-we-turn-up-compassion-here.html)

WV~Yorkies 06-23-2010 06:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Micah my love (Post 3172459)
A mature person is one who does not think only in absolutes, who is able to be objective even when deeply stirred emotionally, who has learned that there is both good and bad in all people and in all things, and who walks humbly and deals charitably with the circumstances of life, knowing that in this world no one is all knowing and therefore all of us need both love and charity.
Eleanor Roosevelt
:thumbup:

cj125 06-23-2010 06:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by megansmomma (Post 3173167)
You must have missed the other thread. Not so warm and fuzzy :rolleyes:
Exactly... :rolleyes:

Wylie's Mom 06-23-2010 07:29 AM
Don't sweat the small stuff :):):).

One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that was going on inside himself.

He said, "My boy, the fight is between two wolves."
That certainly got the boy's attention.

"One is evil," the old man continued. "Anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego."

"What of the other, grandfather?" the boy asked.

"The other is good," he said. "Joy, Peace, Love, Hope, Serenity, Humility, Kindness, Benevolence, Empathy, Generosity, Truth, Compassion and Faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Do we all have such wolves fighting inside us, grandfather?"

"Yes," the wise old man said.

"Then, which wolf wins the fight?"

The old Cherokee simply replied,

"The one you feed."

megansmomma 06-23-2010 07:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by wylie's mom (Post 3173247)
don't sweat the small stuff :):):).

One evening an old cherokee indian told his grandson about a battle that was going on inside himself.

He said, "my boy, the fight is between two wolves."
that certainly got the boy's attention.

"one is evil," the old man continued. "anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego."

"what of the other, grandfather?" the boy asked.

"the other is good," he said. "joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

the grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "do we all have such wolves fighting inside us, grandfather?"

"yes," the wise old man said.

"then, which wolf wins the fight?"

the old cherokee simply replied,

"the one you feed."
love it!:):):)

jadabug 06-23-2010 07:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wylie's Mom (Post 3173247)
Don't sweat the small stuff :):):).

One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that was going on inside himself.

He said, "My boy, the fight is between two wolves."
That certainly got the boy's attention.

"One is evil," the old man continued. "Anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego."

"What of the other, grandfather?" the boy asked.

"The other is good," he said. "Joy, Peace, Love, Hope, Serenity, Humility, Kindness, Benevolence, Empathy, Generosity, Truth, Compassion and Faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Do we all have such wolves fighting inside us, grandfather?"

"Yes," the wise old man said.

"Then, which wolf wins the fight?"

The old Cherokee simply replied,

"The one you feed."

How very true :)

Mom to Hot Rod 06-23-2010 07:42 AM
okay, I could have sworn I posted in this thread. :confused:

anyhow, just wanted to say Anne, Thank you for posting this. some of the threads lately have really been hard to read thru.

I'd just like to say that we were all newbies at one point in time so let's just all try to remember this when we respond in a thread-how would you feel if someone was not so nice in responding to your question(s)?

Behind the questions is a person. :)

CJxDanielle 06-23-2010 08:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom to Hot Rod (Post 3173274)
I'd just like to say that we were all newbies at one point in time so let's just all try to remember this when we respond in a thread-how would you feel if someone was not so nice in responding to your question(s)?

Behind the questions is a person. :)
Agreed, its the "veterans" here that (I believe) are stirring up trouble and making the newbies wish they never joined. Kind of sad you have to give someone whom you may never meet a hard time over the computer screen.

Half the time they would never say the things they do IRL.

jp4m2 06-23-2010 09:07 AM
It’s helpful to have these reminders every now and then so as we can do our own “self check” as to how our own attitudes, decisions, reactions, behaviors, and choices may be affecting others. It encourages and challenges those who are willing to look at themselves with critical objectivity and have the willingness to change, to make better choices concerning our own behaviors...... Sadly, it seems that no longer is respect presumed, but rather granted. We should always show respect and consideration to our fellow human being, unless shown otherwise……..

Unfortunately,there’s going to be those few who will read these reminders and think it has nothing to do with them. They are lacking in their ability to have feelings and compassion for others. Not just on this forum but in all areas of their life. When you have to be right or in control or look superior or generally just “better than” there is no room for compassion. The feelings for others becomes secondary. There is no desire for self-examination, change, or growth.We don’t have the power to make people be other than who they are....

Some seem to believe every *feeling* needs to be expressed, as if it’s some irresistible force. Not every objectionable moment needs commentary or needs to be confronted.. Every opinion, reaction, perception, and preference is not important, necessary, or kind to reveal....... You will never get your point across by being crass, so choose your words wisely. A soft answer is better than a sarcastic one. If you say it offensively, it will be received defensively. You are never persuasive when you’re abrasive…..

I hope things improve around here......

lovmyyorkie 06-23-2010 09:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jp4m2 (Post 3173356)
It’s helpful to have these reminders every now and then so as we can do our own “self check” as to how our own attitudes, decisions, reactions, behaviors, and choices may be affecting others. It encourages and challenges those who are willing to look at themselves with critical objectivity and have the willingness to change, to make better choices concerning our own behaviors...... Sadly, it seems that no longer is respect presumed, but rather granted. We should always show respect and consideration to our fellow human being, unless shown otherwise……..

Unfortunately,there’s going to be those few who will read these reminders and think it has nothing to do with them. They are lacking in their ability to have feelings and compassion for others. Not just on this forum but in all areas of their life. When you have to be right or in control or look superior or generally just “better than” there is no room for compassion. The feelings for others becomes secondary. There is no desire for self-examination, change, or growth.We don’t have the power to make people be other than who they are....

Some seem to believe every *feeling* needs to be expressed, as if it’s some irresistible force. Not every objectionable moment needs commentary or needs to be confronted.. Every opinion, reaction, perception, and preference is not important, necessary, or kind to reveal....... You will never get your point across by being crass, so choose your words wisely. A soft answer is better than a sarcastic one. If you say it offensively, it will be received defensively. You are never persuasive when you’re abrasive…..

I hope things improve around here......
:bravo:

Nancy1999 06-23-2010 09:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jp4m2 (Post 3173356)
It’s helpful to have these reminders every now and then so as we can do our own “self check” as to how our own attitudes, decisions, reactions, behaviors, and choices may be affecting others. It encourages and challenges those who are willing to look at themselves with critical objectivity and have the willingness to change, to make better choices concerning our own behaviors...... Sadly, it seems that no longer is respect presumed, but rather granted. We should always show respect and consideration to our fellow human being, unless shown otherwise……..

Unfortunately,there’s going to be those few who will read these reminders and think it has nothing to do with them. They are lacking in their ability to have feelings and compassion for others. Not just on this forum but in all areas of their life. When you have to be right or in control or look superior or generally just “better than” there is no room for compassion. The feelings for others becomes secondary. There is no desire for self-examination, change, or growth.We don’t have the power to make people be other than who they are....

Some seem to believe every *feeling* needs to be expressed, as if it’s some irresistible force. Not every objectionable moment needs commentary or needs to be confronted.. Every opinion, reaction, perception, and preference is not important, necessary, or kind to reveal....... You will never get your point across by being crass, so choose your words wisely. A soft answer is better than a sarcastic one. If you say it offensively, it will be received defensively. You are never persuasive when you’re abrasive…..

I hope things improve around here......
Great post!

Wylie's Mom 06-23-2010 09:25 AM
jp4m2:

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

:thankyou2:thankyou2:thankyou2

chattiesmom 06-23-2010 09:30 AM
This thread just keeps getting better and better --

On Rights and Responsibilities :)

Just because I have the RIGHT to say something doesn't make saying it the right thing to do.

With Rights come Responsibilities. When we exercise our right to free speech, we should be responsible for how exercising that right affects others.

cj125 06-23-2010 10:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jp4m2 (Post 3173356)
It’s helpful to have these reminders every now and then so as we can do our own “self check” as to how our own attitudes, decisions, reactions, behaviors, and choices may be affecting others. It encourages and challenges those who are willing to look at themselves with critical objectivity and have the willingness to change, to make better choices concerning our own behaviors...... Sadly, it seems that no longer is respect presumed, but rather granted. We should always show respect and consideration to our fellow human being, unless shown otherwise……..

Unfortunately,there’s going to be those few who will read these reminders and think it has nothing to do with them. They are lacking in their ability to have feelings and compassion for others. Not just on this forum but in all areas of their life. When you have to be right or in control or look superior or generally just “better than” there is no room for compassion. The feelings for others becomes secondary. There is no desire for self-examination, change, or growth.We don’t have the power to make people be other than who they are....

Some seem to believe every *feeling* needs to be expressed, as if it’s some irresistible force. Not every objectionable moment needs commentary or needs to be confronted.. Every opinion, reaction, perception, and preference is not important, necessary, or kind to reveal....... You will never get your point across by being crass, so choose your words wisely. A soft answer is better than a sarcastic one. If you say it offensively, it will be received defensively. You are never persuasive when you’re abrasive…..

I hope things improve around here......
Nicely put... :thumbup::thumbup:

I think you covered it all.

"Everyone" should read this as though it was being said to them... :)

dwerten 06-23-2010 10:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jp4m2 (Post 3173356)
It’s helpful to have these reminders every now and then so as we can do our own “self check” as to how our own attitudes, decisions, reactions, behaviors, and choices may be affecting others. It encourages and challenges those who are willing to look at themselves with critical objectivity and have the willingness to change, to make better choices concerning our own behaviors...... Sadly, it seems that no longer is respect presumed, but rather granted. We should always show respect and consideration to our fellow human being, unless shown otherwise……..

Unfortunately,there’s going to be those few who will read these reminders and think it has nothing to do with them. They are lacking in their ability to have feelings and compassion for others. Not just on this forum but in all areas of their life. When you have to be right or in control or look superior or generally just “better than” there is no room for compassion. The feelings for others becomes secondary. There is no desire for self-examination, change, or growth.We don’t have the power to make people be other than who they are....

Some seem to believe every *feeling* needs to be expressed, as if it’s some irresistible force. Not every objectionable moment needs commentary or needs to be confronted.. Every opinion, reaction, perception, and preference is not important, necessary, or kind to reveal....... You will never get your point across by being crass, so choose your words wisely. A soft answer is better than a sarcastic one. If you say it offensively, it will be received defensively. You are never persuasive when you’re abrasive…..

I hope things improve around here......
GOOOOOOOOO BUCKS

Now let's all have some fun :)

YouTube - Ohio State University Line Dance - Glee meets OSU

Lynn WDW 06-23-2010 10:46 AM
This is a great post. One of the reasons I quit posting. People could be so nasty.

Sugar's Mom 06-23-2010 02:08 PM
great thread!!!!!!!!! Now if we could only do something about those pesky pm's that float around behind the scenes that invariably make it back to the one that is being talked about!!!!!!!!! What a wonderful world it would be!!!!!!!!:) Sometimes what people post in puiblic and what they say in pm's are so very different. Compassion needs to be in both places. I rarely post anymore but I do read all the threads and see what people are talking about.

luckylady 06-23-2010 04:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wylie's Mom (Post 3172409)
I don’t know the right way to say this, so I’ll just say it plainly…

I'm hoping everyone on this board can stop and consider whether it is possible for them to be more compassionate to their fellow members.

You don’t have to love everyone. You don’t have to like everyone. You don’t have to like anyone, for that matter. But we do ask that you be respectful…that you try to be compassionate.

None of us have walked in anyone else’s shoes but our own, as far as I know. So until one of us has that capability, let’s not pretend we are overly fit to judge.

Words hurt people. Insinuations can hurt just as much as words. Before you post something…think of how you would feel if it was posted to YOU.

We don’t have to gush over each other (although it is welcome :)), we don’t have to be fakey-nicey. You don’t have to be a Pollyanna. But please, do remember that every action, kind or otherwise, has consequences – in some way or another.

Thanks for reading this and for making YT such a wonderful place! :)
Thank you for starting this thread. From some of the things I have read recently, your timing is perfect. It needed to be said now, just as I am sure it will need to be reminded of again from time to time.
For the most part I do not post in the "heated" threads but if and when I do, I try very hard to word my responses in a compassionate manner. One would be surprised at how much time I spend wording & re-wording my post BEFORE I actually post it.
Here are a couple of definitions of compassion that I found & liked.......
.
Compassion is the keen awareness of the interdependence of all things. --Thomas Merton

Compassion is the ultimate and most meaningful embodiment of emotional maturity. It is through compassion that a person achieves the highest peak and deepest reach in his or her search for self-fulfillment. --Arthur Jersild

manolos mom 06-23-2010 04:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by CJxDanielle (Post 3173318)
Agreed, its the "veterans" here that (I believe) are stirring up trouble and making the newbies wish they never joined. Kind of sad you have to give someone whom you may never meet a hard time over the computer screen.

Half the time they would never say the things they do IRL.

Wow, I am really sorry you feel that way. Ann, I promise to try hard.;)

Anaic 06-23-2010 05:39 PM
Bravo
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by jp4m2 (Post 3173356)
It’s helpful to have these reminders every now and then so as we can do our own “self check” as to how our own attitudes, decisions, reactions, behaviors, and choices may be affecting others. It encourages and challenges those who are willing to look at themselves with critical objectivity and have the willingness to change, to make better choices concerning our own behaviors...... Sadly, it seems that no longer is respect presumed, but rather granted. We should always show respect and consideration to our fellow human being, unless shown otherwise……..

Unfortunately,there’s going to be those few who will read these reminders and think it has nothing to do with them. They are lacking in their ability to have feelings and compassion for others. Not just on this forum but in all areas of their life. When you have to be right or in control or look superior or generally just “better than” there is no room for compassion. The feelings for others becomes secondary. There is no desire for self-examination, change, or growth.We don’t have the power to make people be other than who they are....

Some seem to believe every *feeling* needs to be expressed, as if it’s some irresistible force. Not every objectionable moment needs commentary or needs to be confronted.. Every opinion, reaction, perception, and preference is not important, necessary, or kind to reveal....... You will never get your point across by being crass, so choose your words wisely. A soft answer is better than a sarcastic one. If you say it offensively, it will be received defensively. You are never persuasive when you’re abrasive…..

I hope things improve around here......
:thumbup:

PANAMA69 06-23-2010 09:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jp4m2 (Post 3173356)
It’s helpful to have these reminders every now and then so as we can do our own “self check” as to how our own attitudes, decisions, reactions, behaviors, and choices may be affecting others. It encourages and challenges those who are willing to look at themselves with critical objectivity and have the willingness to change, to make better choices concerning our own behaviors...... Sadly, it seems that no longer is respect presumed, but rather granted. We should always show respect and consideration to our fellow human being, unless shown otherwise……..

Unfortunately,there’s going to be those few who will read these reminders and think it has nothing to do with them. They are lacking in their ability to have feelings and compassion for others. Not just on this forum but in all areas of their life. When you have to be right or in control or look superior or generally just “better than” there is no room for compassion. The feelings for others becomes secondary. There is no desire for self-examination, change, or growth.We don’t have the power to make people be other than who they are....

Some seem to believe every *feeling* needs to be expressed, as if it’s some irresistible force. Not every objectionable moment needs commentary or needs to be confronted.. Every opinion, reaction, perception, and preference is not important, necessary, or kind to reveal....... You will never get your point across by being crass, so choose your words wisely. A soft answer is better than a sarcastic one. If you say it offensively, it will be received defensively. You are never persuasive when you’re abrasive…..

I hope things improve around here......
:goodpost::hug:

lillymae 06-24-2010 12:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jp4m2 (Post 3173356)
it’s helpful to have these reminders every now and then so as we can do our own “self check” as to how our own attitudes, decisions, reactions, behaviors, and choices may be affecting others. It encourages and challenges those who are willing to look at themselves with critical objectivity and have the willingness to change, to make better choices concerning our own behaviors...... Sadly, it seems that no longer is respect presumed, but rather granted. We should always show respect and consideration to our fellow human being, unless shown otherwise……..

Unfortunately,there’s going to be those few who will read these reminders and think it has nothing to do with them. They are lacking in their ability to have feelings and compassion for others. Not just on this forum but in all areas of their life. When you have to be right or in control or look superior or generally just “better than” there is no room for compassion. The feelings for others becomes secondary. There is no desire for self-examination, change, or growth.we don’t have the power to make people be other than who they are....

Some seem to believe every *feeling* needs to be expressed, as if it’s some irresistible force. Not every objectionable moment needs commentary or needs to be confronted.. Every opinion, reaction, perception, and preference is not important, necessary, or kind to reveal....... You will never get your point across by being crass, so choose your words wisely. A soft answer is better than a sarcastic one. If you say it offensively, it will be received defensively. You are never persuasive when you’re abrasive…..

I hope things improve around here......

a-m-e-n !

luvfla 06-24-2010 05:03 AM
I try to not let my fingers type something that I wouldn't say if the person was standing in front of me.
I've been going through a very rough time for the last year & it has made me SO sensitive to other people and what they may be going through.....

red98vett 06-24-2010 05:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvfla (Post 3174409)
I try to not let my fingers type something that I wouldn't say if the person was standing in front of me.
I've been going through a very rough time for the last year & it has made me SO sensitive to other people and what they may be going through.....

I hear you on that !

ladyjane 06-24-2010 05:22 AM
There are things being said and done on YT lately that have nothing to do with the tone of the posts. Everyone says things in a different manner and there is no tone in the written word. It is just like the little game we all played in school when we were young...one person whispers to someone and it travels around until it gets to the end and the last message is nothing like the first! Things get misinterpreted....and just like in real life someone might hear something totally different, on the computer people think that someone has a tone that may not even be anywhere near what the writer meant. Sadly, there are some downright nasty things being said lately on YT that many people don't even know about. Thankfully, those comments usually disappear quickly.

As for subject matter, I will never say anything online to a person that I would not say to them in real life. Anyone who knows me, knows this is a fact.

I don't see the tone of things as being a problem as much as the intent to malign people. The behind the scenes getting together for the sole purpose of trying to get rid of a YTer .. or to try to take over YT is, in my opinion, out of line.

I saw some recent happenings here that just fried my brain. I don't know where people find the time to do the dirt digging they do...or the people who get banned and keep coming here to let everyone have it. I have had emails sent to me from various sources where people are actually working behind the scenes to "take YT down". Boggles my mind. Surely there are more productive things to do.

CJxDanielle 06-24-2010 05:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyjane (Post 3174430)
I don't know where people find the time to do the dirt digging they do...
:thumbup:

Dzbabykel 06-24-2010 05:39 AM
I just want to say that I'm a newbie and have been on for a few weeks now and that I think you all are SO welcoming and absolutely wonderful (which is why I'm so addicted to this site everyday:D) and in reading through this thread its really nice to see how much you all care :) Just wanted to send some reassuring thoughts your way to know how much you all are appreciated!!! :aimeeyork:aimeeyork:aimeeyork

Cha Cha 06-24-2010 06:07 AM
Good mornin y'all! Today is a new day, and I think a big 'ol cyper group hug is just what we all need!

:ghug:

CJxDanielle 06-24-2010 06:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cha Cha (Post 3174484)
Good mornin y'all! Today is a new day, and I think a big 'ol cyper group hug is just what we all need!

:ghug:
:love::love::love:

dwerten 06-24-2010 06:18 AM
Make it a better day :)

WV~Yorkies 06-24-2010 06:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyjane (Post 3174430)
There are things being said and done on YT lately that have nothing to do with the tone of the posts. Everyone says things in a different manner and there is no tone in the written word. It is just like the little game we all played in school when we were young...one person whispers to someone and it travels around until it gets to the end and the last message is nothing like the first! Things get misinterpreted....and just like in real life someone might hear something totally different, on the computer people think that someone has a tone that may not even be anywhere near what the writer meant. Sadly, there are some downright nasty things being said lately on YT that many people don't even know about. Thankfully, those comments usually disappear quickly.

As for subject matter, I will never say anything online to a person that I would not say to them in real life. Anyone who knows me, knows this is a fact.

I don't see the tone of things as being a problem as much as the intent to malign people. The behind the scenes getting together for the sole purpose of trying to get rid of a YTer .. or to try to take over YT is, in my opinion, out of line.

I saw some recent happenings here that just fried my brain. I don't know where people find the time to do the dirt digging they do...or the people who get banned and keep coming here to let everyone have it. I have had emails sent to me from various sources where people are actually working behind the scenes to "take YT down". Boggles my mind. Surely there are more productive things to do.
:goodpost:


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