Please,What can I do? - Page 3 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

AbbysMom08 · 03-22-2010, 09:52 PM

I am so very sorry that you are going through this.
I really am at a lose for words.
The only thing I can do is keep you and your furbabies in my prayers.

DvlshAngel985 · 03-22-2010, 09:57 PM

Crazy thought. If you can't get a statement from your doctor, what if you "sell" them back to the breeders. What I mean is, speak to both breeders and as painful as it might be, explain your situation. Tell them your reasons for having your babies and how much you love them, and then ask them if they would buy them back but on paper only, as long as some money is exchanged ($1) and it is written somewhere (a contract) it is considered a sell. Now you can "foster" those cute babies. They can live with you, and your ex can't go after them, they aren't technically yours. Get it?

I bet you anything your breeders as yorkie lovers will give you a hand. If not them then a family member or a really close friend. I'll do it if you want, as long as you take care of them for me.

Like I said, crazy thought.

yorkie mad · 03-22-2010, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DvlshAngel985

Crazy thought. If you can't get a statement from your doctor, what if you "sell" them back to the breeders. What I mean is, speak to both breeders and as painful as it might be, explain your situation. Tell them your reasons for having your babies and how much you love them, and then ask them if they would buy them back but on paper only, as long as some money is exchanged ($1) and it is written somewhere (a contract) it is considered a sell. Now you can "foster" those cute babies. They can live with you, and your ex can't go after them, they aren't technically yours. Get it?

I bet you anything your breeders as yorkie lovers will give you a hand. If not them then a family member or a really close friend. I'll do it if you want, as long as you take care of them for me.

Like I said, crazy thought.

thats actually a good idea, its called a loop hole, meaning a way round the situation so your hubby , soon to be x , can't get them

mollyandabbey · 03-23-2010, 01:18 AM

It is not a good idea to "sell" the yorkies to someone else. Under the law, this would be considered a fraudulent conveyance. It is a much better idea to enlist the help of your doctor. In addition, be prepared to show that you bought the dogs and are their sole caretaker. It sounds like you acquired the yorkies after the breakdown of your marriage, i.e., after you began living separately in the same home. This should help, too. Although the CA case cited by another poster provides a helpful, common sense way for the court to resolve this issue, it is not binding on TN courts. I'm sure your lawyer can find some TN law on point. If you are not represented due to a lack of resources, please consider contacting a local law school. Law schools often operate student run legal services under the supervision of licensed attorneys. They can be very helpful.

Good luck to you and your little yorkies!

Lee B · 03-23-2010, 03:05 AM

Again, don't know how the law applies in your specific state, but many times inheritance of family heirlooms (your guns) are not community property. He would have to return them. If they were sold, it would be fraudulent (he's not the legitimate owner), and they would have to be returned.

As for the dogs, as more of the story comes out, I don't think you have a problem. The dogs were required as a result of doctor's orders for YOUR HEALTH. They were purchased with YOUR PERSONAL FUNDS. They are registered IN YOUR NAME ONLY. You are willing to give up two community owned dachsunds for the Yorkies ... he only wants them to effect further damage to you.

Neither a mediator nor a judge will let that stand. Your disability will take precedence.

IMO, do not try to hide them. That will weaken the case that they are required for your health. You could also be accused of trying to hide assets - which he is already doing. Let all the malfeasance be on HIS side, not yours.

Good luck ...

Mom to Hot Rod · 03-23-2010, 03:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lee B

Again, don't know how the law applies in your specific state, but many times inheritance of family heirlooms (your guns) are not community property. He would have to return them. If they were sold, it would be fraudulent (he's not the legitimate owner), and they would have to be returned.

As for the dogs, as more of the story comes out, I don't think you have a problem. The dogs were required as a result of doctor's orders for YOUR HEALTH. They were purchased with YOUR PERSONAL FUNDS. They are registered IN YOUR NAME ONLY. You are willing to give up two community owned dachsunds for the Yorkies ... he only wants them to effect further damage to you.

Neither a mediator nor a judge will let that stand. Your disability will take precedence.

IMO, do not try to hide them. That will weaken the case that they are required for your health. You could also be accused of trying to hide assets - which he is already doing. Let all the malfeasance be on HIS side, not yours.

Good luck ...

Sounds like you have some work cut out for you. You should track down all and any paperwork (will/attornery handling it or executor of your aunts estate) and show true ownership if the guns and other items that YOU inherited. If the cars are in both of your names, who paid for what--should also be considered community property, as well as house, so why should he get it all?

Then I would definitely talk with the doctor(s) and get them to help.

It amazes me how people can become such "so and so's" during a divorce. Best of luck to you. Hugs.

ladyjane · 03-23-2010, 04:50 AM

I understand people's concerns about laws, but in my experience the person who hides things often, almost always, gets away with it. I have zero faith in family law. My ex-husband forged my name and sold our car...purchased another car in his name and got away with it. Oh, it was used as a bargaining chip to get another vehicle for me, but did he get into any issues because of it? No! No one cared. And he walked away with a BMW while I got a used POS.

Again, if I had even a small idea that my pups were going to be split up in a divorce, they would be gone. I would not toss it up to chance because that is what you have....a big gamble. You never know how a judge will rule.

red98vett · 03-23-2010, 05:06 AM

I'm always sorry to hear about someone married for years & splitting ...22 years is such a huge chunk of your life...but just to add a little advice for the future - please be careful what you say on public sites .... If he knows you post here and something gets said that can be used against you - best to keep it off public sites...I've heard of people using the net as a weapon in court.

I can't see a man doing this unless he really loves them and if he doesn't - he shouldn't be doing this - it's mean. But divorce does that to people doesn't it ?

Wishing you all the best.

ladyjane · 03-23-2010, 05:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by red98vett

I'm always sorry to hear about someone married for years & splitting ...22 years is such a huge chunk of your life...but just to add a little advice for the future - please be careful what you say on public sites .... If he knows you post here and something gets said that can be used against you - best to keep it off public sites...I've heard of people using the net as a weapon in court.

I can't see a man doing this unless he really loves them and if he doesn't - he shouldn't be doing this - it's mean. But divorce does that to people doesn't it ?

Wishing you all the best.

lelemommy · 03-23-2010, 07:45 AM

I have never been through a divorce before. With my dealing with the court(foster parenting) you will need a paper trail. Keep everything no matter how small you think it is. Then get a WOMAN lawyer.lol

2girls · 03-23-2010, 08:03 AM

I was in a similiar situation 16 years ago fighting for my dog's. Our battle for the dogs went to the judge. The judgement went in my favor and hear are the reason, I was the primary care giver 90+% of the time which I gathered proof before court. I took them to the vet, obedience class and the groomers and obtained personal statements from neighbors, service people and friends stating who had the best inerest in the dogs. The judge was not concerned with who funded and supported funded the dogs. The dogs can't speak so others need to speak for them. My x was just trying to be cruel and I think the judge figured that out. Good Luck!!!

Zeus08 · 03-23-2010, 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2girls

I was in a similiar situation 16 years ago fighting for my dog's. Our battle for the dogs went to the judge. The judgement went in my favor and hear are the reason, I was the primary care giver 90+% of the time which I gathered proof before court. I took them to the vet, obedience class and the groomers and obtained personal statements from neighbors, service people and friends stating who had the best inerest in the dogs. The judge was not concerned with who funded and supported funded the dogs. The dogs can't speak so others need to speak for them. My x was just trying to be cruel and I think the judge figured that out. Good Luck!!!

It sounds like she has a good chance of winning this one! I am glad the judge ruled in your favor.

kpstoybox · 03-23-2010, 10:16 AM

I too do not think you have anything to worry about. I think the judge will see this for what it is. He/she will see who truly owns, loves, and NEEDS these dogs.
With that said...if worse comes to worse...and you fear you could really lose one or both of these dogs to him in the judgement...there is one thing you can do for a little insurance...just incase. Both dogs are AKC registered, and are in your name only...correct? You have the right to give or sell co-ownership rights to anyone you please. Choose someone who you completely trust (very important)...and make them co-owner on the AKC papers. A sister or brother, a mother or father. The key is someone you trust completely. Someone who you would want to have the dogs if something were ever to happen to you.

For that $20 registration fee..the dogs should be completely protected from any judge awarding them to your husband as they would be legally co-owned by a 2nd party.

Lee B · 03-23-2010, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kpstoybox

I too do not think you have anything to worry about. I think the judge will see this for what it is. He/she will see who truly owns, loves, and NEEDS these dogs.
With that said...if worse comes to worse...and you fear you could really lose one or both of these dogs to him in the judgement...there is one thing you can do for a little insurance...just incase. Both dogs are AKC registered, and are in your name only...correct? You have the right to give or sell co-ownership rights to anyone you please. Choose someone who you completely trust (very important)...and make them co-owner on the AKC papers. A sister or brother, a mother or father. The key is someone you trust completely. Someone who you would want to have the dogs if something were ever to happen to you.

For that $20 registration fee..the dogs should be completely protected from any judge awarding them to your husband as they would be legally co-owned by a 2nd party.

OOOOOOOO! *TRICKY* I like the way you think ... perfectly legal, too.

yorkiemom68 · 03-23-2010, 09:27 PM

Update to all well today was a day of all days.At my house today was 6 car loads of police that he by the way call via 911.Needless to say he is in the county jail tonight for domestic violence/abuse.He is to be in front of the judge in the morning in which I will be asking for an order of protection.Please pray for me this has been a bad relationship for 20 years but we stay per say for they kids but he is so bitter at this point it is impossible to live in anymore.Will be asking my docter this friday for which I made the appointment for the script for my babies wish me luck there too and for all the advise God bless you and thank you so very much.I will remember this site in future life situations lol there are so very smart and wise folks here.Love ya all and ty again.Will post update after court tomorrow.

03-22-2010, 09:52 PM	#31
AbbysMom08 Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Illinois Posts: 2,268	I am so very sorry that you are going through this. I really am at a lose for words. The only thing I can do is keep you and your furbabies in my prayers. __________________ Jan, Mommy to Abby

03-22-2010, 09:57 PM	#32
DvlshAngel985 Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Los Angeles, California, USA Posts: 12,693	Crazy thought. If you can't get a statement from your doctor, what if you "sell" them back to the breeders. What I mean is, speak to both breeders and as painful as it might be, explain your situation. Tell them your reasons for having your babies and how much you love them, and then ask them if they would buy them back but on paper only, as long as some money is exchanged ($1) and it is written somewhere (a contract) it is considered a sell. Now you can "foster" those cute babies. They can live with you, and your ex can't go after them, they aren't technically yours. Get it? I bet you anything your breeders as yorkie lovers will give you a hand. If not them then a family member or a really close friend. I'll do it if you want, as long as you take care of them for me. Like I said, crazy thought. __________________ Littlest JakJak We miss you Kaji

03-23-2010, 04:50 AM	#37
ladyjane Resident Yorkie Nut Donating YT 20K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Texas Posts: 27,490	I understand people's concerns about laws, but in my experience the person who hides things often, almost always, gets away with it. I have zero faith in family law. My ex-husband forged my name and sold our car...purchased another car in his name and got away with it. Oh, it was used as a bargaining chip to get another vehicle for me, but did he get into any issues because of it? No! No one cared. And he walked away with a BMW while I got a used POS. Again, if I had even a small idea that my pups were going to be split up in a divorce, they would be gone. I would not toss it up to chance because that is what you have....a big gamble. You never know how a judge will rule. __________________ CLOUD NINE BEDS--YORKIE HAVEN RESCUE MY ETSY SHOP

03-23-2010, 05:06 AM	#38
red98vett Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Houston TX Posts: 33,590 Blog Entries: 1	I'm always sorry to hear about someone married for years & splitting ...22 years is such a huge chunk of your life...but just to add a little advice for the future - please be careful what you say on public sites .... If he knows you post here and something gets said that can be used against you - best to keep it off public sites...I've heard of people using the net as a weapon in court. I can't see a man doing this unless he really loves them and if he doesn't - he shouldn't be doing this - it's mean. But divorce does that to people doesn't it ? Wishing you all the best. __________________ Villette, Chanel & Cheri www.DesignsByVillette.net Custom Address Labels and Note Cards using YOUR Photos! Just Click HERE!

03-23-2010, 07:45 AM	#40
lelemommy Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Erwin, Tn Posts: 195	I have never been through a divorce before. With my dealing with the court(foster parenting) you will need a paper trail. Keep everything no matter how small you think it is. Then get a WOMAN lawyer.lol __________________ My girls lele Sidney Emmie

03-23-2010, 01:18 AM	#34
mollyandabbey YorkieTalk Newbie! Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Orion, MI, USA Posts: 7	It is not a good idea to "sell" the yorkies to someone else. Under the law, this would be considered a fraudulent conveyance. It is a much better idea to enlist the help of your doctor. In addition, be prepared to show that you bought the dogs and are their sole caretaker. It sounds like you acquired the yorkies after the breakdown of your marriage, i.e., after you began living separately in the same home. This should help, too. Although the CA case cited by another poster provides a helpful, common sense way for the court to resolve this issue, it is not binding on TN courts. I'm sure your lawyer can find some TN law on point. If you are not represented due to a lack of resources, please consider contacting a local law school. Law schools often operate student run legal services under the supervision of licensed attorneys. They can be very helpful. Good luck to you and your little yorkies!

03-23-2010, 03:05 AM	#35
Lee B YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Land O' Lakes, FL Posts: 735	Again, don't know how the law applies in your specific state, but many times inheritance of family heirlooms (your guns) are not community property. He would have to return them. If they were sold, it would be fraudulent (he's not the legitimate owner), and they would have to be returned. As for the dogs, as more of the story comes out, I don't think you have a problem. The dogs were required as a result of doctor's orders for YOUR HEALTH. They were purchased with YOUR PERSONAL FUNDS. They are registered IN YOUR NAME ONLY. You are willing to give up two community owned dachsunds for the Yorkies ... he only wants them to effect further damage to you. Neither a mediator nor a judge will let that stand. Your disability will take precedence. IMO, do not try to hide them. That will weaken the case that they are required for your health. You could also be accused of trying to hide assets - which he is already doing. Let all the malfeasance be on HIS side, not yours. Good luck ...

03-23-2010, 08:03 AM	#41
2girls YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: CT Posts: 680	I was in a similiar situation 16 years ago fighting for my dog's. Our battle for the dogs went to the judge. The judgement went in my favor and hear are the reason, I was the primary care giver 90+% of the time which I gathered proof before court. I took them to the vet, obedience class and the groomers and obtained personal statements from neighbors, service people and friends stating who had the best inerest in the dogs. The judge was not concerned with who funded and supported funded the dogs. The dogs can't speak so others need to speak for them. My x was just trying to be cruel and I think the judge figured that out. Good Luck!!! __________________ *Wendy, Lola, Lea & Gracie*

03-23-2010, 10:16 AM	#43
kpstoybox Do you like Parti's?" Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Michigan Posts: 2,337	I too do not think you have anything to worry about. I think the judge will see this for what it is. He/she will see who truly owns, loves, and NEEDS these dogs. With that said...if worse comes to worse...and you fear you could really lose one or both of these dogs to him in the judgement...there is one thing you can do for a little insurance...just incase. Both dogs are AKC registered, and are in your name only...correct? You have the right to give or sell co-ownership rights to anyone you please. Choose someone who you completely trust (very important)...and make them co-owner on the AKC papers. A sister or brother, a mother or father. The key is someone you trust completely. Someone who you would want to have the dogs if something were ever to happen to you. For that $20 registration fee..the dogs should be completely protected from any judge awarding them to your husband as they would be legally co-owned by a 2nd party. __________________ Karen and the PartiTime Kids There's always a parti at my house!

03-23-2010, 09:27 PM	#45
yorkiemom68 Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Greeneville,Tn Posts: 90	Update to all well today was a day of all days.At my house today was 6 car loads of police that he by the way call via 911.Needless to say he is in the county jail tonight for domestic violence/abuse.He is to be in front of the judge in the morning in which I will be asking for an order of protection.Please pray for me this has been a bad relationship for 20 years but we stay per say for they kids but he is so bitter at this point it is impossible to live in anymore.Will be asking my docter this friday for which I made the appointment for the script for my babies wish me luck there too and for all the advise God bless you and thank you so very much.I will remember this site in future life situations lol there are so very smart and wise folks here.Love ya all and ty again.Will post update after court tomorrow.