New Parent Woes - YorkieTalk.com Forums

hotpinktrouble · 03-26-2009, 05:43 AM

I definitely need some support here...everyone sounds like they are really stellar moms and they love their furballs so so so much...but has anyone brought their pup home and thought "wow, I made a huge mistake" ? I've done that a lot with Nozzle. I didn't realize I would become a single parent with him! Silly me...I try to spend as much time with him as I can, but I work and I run around and I haven't had a pet in ages...and I've never had to train a dog. We'll go a couple of days, everything running great, and then he'll do something wrong and it makes me angry! And I KNOW he's just a puppy, but patience isn't my best virtue, by any means. So most of the time, I feel like I'm super unworthy of him...but I don't want to give him up! I want to be patient and love him to pieces and be a good mommy...anyone else have stories like this???

PartPixie · 03-26-2009, 06:15 AM

Hi,

I feel your fruestration. Yorkies are not exactly the most obedient or easily trained puppies. If you are not prepared for it, it can be a bit overwhelming. Especially if you don't have small children that you have had to raise and pick up after.

When my brother (who lives with me) first brought home Grover I was really unsure he had made a wise decision. I am a bit A Type typical personality. My house is always very clean and orderly. While we already had a basset hound and two cats, it seemed odd that one little fluff ball could cause such caios!

Rest assured though, with a gentle but firm hand, your furbaby will be the love of your life. It just takes time to adjust. Remember the first few days / weeks, your little guy is adjusting to a new house, family, and new rules as well. So be patient.

Grover is still not perfect. But then he is only 5 months old. (We don't expect toddlers to be perfect do we?) But he is eager to please and trying hard. I've become so attached that I am now scouting for a new puppy both for myself and my daughter! (Now thats a turn around!!!)

Good luck with Nozzle. Btw, is that him in your avitar? He is SOOO cute!

marcerella02 · 03-26-2009, 06:19 AM

i totally feel you. i too didn't expect to be a single parent with Layla. It was VERY hard at first- i was dealing with a new puppy and a broken heart and I know I made many mistakes with her- but the best advice I can give you is to stick with it- once he GETS it- he is so much easier to be around

Are you potty training outside? You might want to try bell training him. Hang a "jingle bell" with yarn from your front door and as you are bringin him out- ring the bell with your hand and tell him GOOD BOY! then start using his nose to ring the bell- shortly he'll start ringing it for you. And no MATTER his age- make sure every time he potties where he should- have a HUGE Party- lots of praise and treats- Layla is 3 and still gets a treat every time she potties.

Hang in there- i totally udnerstand how you feel and once they are done being a puppy things get SO much easier- BUT- boy those puppy days go by fast- so enjoy it while you can!

KBJsMommy · 03-26-2009, 08:53 AM

Do not feel bad about the situation you are experiencing. I didnt even think in my life that I would have ever become a small dog owner, especially a toy yorkie owner. I was unsure about my situation as well but when the right time hits you will see that all this enduring you are doing while being short tempered will seem petty shortly after. There are special moments that these dogs can create in your life. I am lucky enough to have a comedian for a dog. At least twice a day killer has me in tears because of some silly thing he gets himself into or does. I am a very active live love life 27 year old...no kids and not much of an anticipation of having any JUST YET. I like to go out and travel whenever the urge hits, which used to be often. To get this dog, with a lifestyle that both me and my boyfriend have, you would think we were crazy. The first few days were magical, new puppy, blah blah blah, after the first week, the honeymoon was clearly over but I promise you as long as you see that he is still a baby and needs the attention to claim you dont have in you, your emotions will evolve. You will have it all in you plus some because in the long run he will 200% and then some return the emotional needs.
Give it a chance. Dont quit yet...it will hurt him more to have to be rehomed than for you to be a little disappointed every now and again.

Critter · 03-26-2009, 09:34 AM

I know exactly how you feel, we got Samson over last summer and pretty much fell in love with him, he was such a great dog. In Jan we got our 2nd yorkie, Harley and almost within hours I felt like we had made a mistake for getting a 2nd dog, his personality is nothing like Samsons and has been extremely hard to train. I wasn't bonding with him and I felt really guilty over that and posted that here cuz I felt like a horrible mom. I knew I wouldn't give up on him but I wasn't sure I would ever really bond/love him the way I do Sam. While Harley is a more spirited dog and I don't think he will ever get over that, and we still have a hard time training him, I can now say I love him so much for who he is and all that he bring to our lives. I know what you are going through and it will get better I promise.

hotpinktrouble · 03-30-2009, 05:51 AM

Thanks everyone...I'm trying to keep all this in mind. Unfortunately we had a really, really bad day together and I took him over to my friend's house early (I'm going on vacation in 2 days and they are keeping him during it). We're gonna take about 2 weeks apart and see if I can come back to this clean slate. I'm finding that I get too mean and I'm afraid of raising an equally mean dog, which is what is happening right now (today's session ended with him terrified and me with a gash in the heel of my hand).

Mitzis Mom · 03-30-2009, 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hotpinktrouble

Thanks everyone...I'm trying to keep all this in mind. Unfortunately we had a really, really bad day together and I took him over to my friend's house early (I'm going on vacation in 2 days and they are keeping him during it). We're gonna take about 2 weeks apart and see if I can come back to this clean slate. I'm finding that I get too mean and I'm afraid of raising an equally mean dog, which is what is happening right now (today's session ended with him terrified and me with a gash in the heel of my hand).

Sometimes we make mistakes and then we feel bad that we don't live up to our own expectancies. Frustration and stress are the result and we are miserable.

It happens that you get a dog and find out that it is not a match made in heaven. We had to rehome one of our rescues b/c it just didn't work out.

IMO it might be better for you and for him if you could find a new home for your baby or surrender him to a rescue organisation (is there something like that in Japan?) I'll pray for you that you find a satisfying solution!

hotpinktrouble · 03-30-2009, 06:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mitzis Mom

Sometimes we make mistakes and then we feel bad that we don't live up to our own expectancies. Frustration and stress are the result and we are miserable.

It happens that you get a dog and find out that it is not a match made in heaven. We had to rehome one of our rescues b/c it just didn't work out.

IMO it might be better for you and for him if you could find a new home for your baby or surrender him to a rescue organisation (is there something like that in Japan?) I'll pray for you that you find a satisfying solution!

I appreciate the thought, and I don't think I would have a hard time re-homing him, but I would really like to avoid that if possible. We do have good days. There won't be round 2 if this doesn't work out...dogs here are significantly more expensive than in the States.

Mitzis Mom · 04-01-2009, 07:13 AM

I really really hope you find the solution!

Did you consider to read a bit about dog training? (Yes... Yorkies ARE dogs...

)

There are many good books out there. Maybe my fellow YTers can recommend some to you...

HChellette · 04-01-2009, 10:46 AM

I remember this feeling all too well. When I first brought Silvia home, our cats hated her and I thought, "this was a huge mistake." Then she was sooo tiny and we kept "losing her" in the house, because she was so quiet and we had all carpet. Then housetraining was a nightmare until she finally got the hang of a litter box.

Now that I look back on all that (she is four and a half years old) I feel extremely blessed at how well-behaved she is, compared to other dogs. Our persistence paid off because she is so easy to care for now. She is extremely laid back, never barks, is litter box trained, and can even sit at the dinner table with us and not beg.

It may seem hopeless now, but hopefully you'll get to the "it was completely worth it" stage quickly!

madden1 · 04-01-2009, 08:45 PM

im feeling the exact same way. i still think it was maybe a mistake to get him.my puppy in 8 months old now and i still dont really have him trained. somedays he will potty on his pad and sometimes we wont. i guess i wasnt all consistant with it. i try to take him out in the morings before i got to work but i dont take him out at night time (sometimes) i didnt think it would be this hard to have a puppy. i want him but i dont. he is a handfull sometimes just because he wants that attention that we cant always give him. i have a 2 and 5 yr old that also needs my attention and feel if we give him up we will all miss him. its hard because the kids are attached to but they dont always play with him either. maybe if he was more trained and listen more. do you guys think its too late to train him?

AbbysMom08 · 04-01-2009, 09:00 PM

My Abby will be 8 months old on the 12th. She is nothing like the last Yorkie I had. She is very much the tompup!! We are still working on potty training. She does let me know when she has to go out though she still has an accident now and then. I'm still working on training her to follow commands. Not always working

but won't give up. She is still a puppy afterall

I have had 3 Yorkies in the past 30 years. I love the breed.
Please be patient with your little one. I know that may be easier said than done but the rewards are wonderful!!

mscat · 04-01-2009, 10:32 PM

Suzi is my first Yorkie and my first dog. She is wonderful. What I have learned is that it takes a great deal of patience and love. Potty training does not happend over night. You got to set up a routine and be consistent. Anc can't take out your anger or frustration out on the dog. That is never acceptable. The dog can feel it when the master does not like him/her. If you treat the dog badly the dog will agress. Or will become fearful. This is something to always remember . I wish people would really think things though before bringing home a pet. Becase as soon as the novalty wears off, then the dog is unwanted. the dog is not fun to have anymore. The dog is not fun to work with, it is boring, too time consuming, is bothersome. Gets in the way, cramps our lifestyle. It is a total shame. And breaks my heart. this is never fair to the innocent dog.
Suzi is my Yorkie and happens to be my service animal. She is a speical dog. Because my son and I are both perm. disabled. Without her , life would be even more chalenging.

newproudmom · 04-01-2009, 10:39 PM

i felt the same way when I got charlie. I have never had a dog before. Charlie is my first dog. The first night was fine b/c he slept with my brother in law so he didn't bark. The second night, i didn't get any sleep. He was barking and barking and barking non stop. I begged my husband to return him to the owner. My husband refused. The first week with potty training and take care of him and being a single mom to him in addition to having to pick up after big messy adults. It was a rough week for me. Every night, I just wanted to return him. I get very emotional and frustrated. I always joked with him that he is a little devil given to me by his devil daddy to ruin my life.

Anyways, now he is my baby my love. I love him so much. I can't imagine life without him. I don't even remember life before him. I only had him since christmas. lolz. I am a crazy person. I am crazy about charlie.

Be patient. It will pay off.

QuickSilver · 04-01-2009, 10:58 PM

I'm not sure if you are referring to potty training in your original post. If you are, please be aware that most people find it an extremely frustrating process. The angriest I've ever gotten with Thor was because he peed on a table leg while I was trying to train him. Even though I knew intellectually it wasn't his fault, I saw red. I put him in his crate for an hour, did housework, cursed, and gradually calmed down.

Since you say you don't want to give him up, I'd say that patience can be learned. However, if you think you have anger problems, please consider if you'll be able to manage them. Everyone makes mistakes with their dogs. However, you don't want to get into a cycle where you get into a rage, possibly hurt your dog, and then feel horribly guilty and unworthy. That will be bad for both of you. If you have a temper, think about re-homing him, or make a plan for how you will deal with your anger.

I'm kind of guessing here, so maybe I'm way off base. In that case, please ignore me.

03-26-2009, 05:43 AM	#1
hotpinktrouble Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Misawa Japan Posts: 46	New Parent Woes I definitely need some support here...everyone sounds like they are really stellar moms and they love their furballs so so so much...but has anyone brought their pup home and thought "wow, I made a huge mistake" ? I've done that a lot with Nozzle. I didn't realize I would become a single parent with him! Silly me...I try to spend as much time with him as I can, but I work and I run around and I haven't had a pet in ages...and I've never had to train a dog. We'll go a couple of days, everything running great, and then he'll do something wrong and it makes me angry! And I KNOW he's just a puppy, but patience isn't my best virtue, by any means. So most of the time, I feel like I'm super unworthy of him...but I don't want to give him up! I want to be patient and love him to pieces and be a good mommy...anyone else have stories like this???

03-26-2009, 06:15 AM	#2
PartPixie Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Washington, DC Posts: 168	Hi, I feel your fruestration. Yorkies are not exactly the most obedient or easily trained puppies. If you are not prepared for it, it can be a bit overwhelming. Especially if you don't have small children that you have had to raise and pick up after. When my brother (who lives with me) first brought home Grover I was really unsure he had made a wise decision. I am a bit A Type typical personality. My house is always very clean and orderly. While we already had a basset hound and two cats, it seemed odd that one little fluff ball could cause such caios! Rest assured though, with a gentle but firm hand, your furbaby will be the love of your life. It just takes time to adjust. Remember the first few days / weeks, your little guy is adjusting to a new house, family, and new rules as well. So be patient. Grover is still not perfect. But then he is only 5 months old. (We don't expect toddlers to be perfect do we?) But he is eager to please and trying hard. I've become so attached that I am now scouting for a new puppy both for myself and my daughter! (Now thats a turn around!!!) Good luck with Nozzle. Btw, is that him in your avitar? He is SOOO cute! __________________ Cricketts kisses make the world go round

03-26-2009, 06:19 AM	#3
marcerella02 Loved by Layla Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 11,257	i totally feel you. i too didn't expect to be a single parent with Layla. It was VERY hard at first- i was dealing with a new puppy and a broken heart and I know I made many mistakes with her- but the best advice I can give you is to stick with it- once he GETS it- he is so much easier to be around Are you potty training outside? You might want to try bell training him. Hang a "jingle bell" with yarn from your front door and as you are bringin him out- ring the bell with your hand and tell him GOOD BOY! then start using his nose to ring the bell- shortly he'll start ringing it for you. And no MATTER his age- make sure every time he potties where he should- have a HUGE Party- lots of praise and treats- Layla is 3 and still gets a treat every time she potties. Hang in there- i totally udnerstand how you feel and once they are done being a puppy things get SO much easier- BUT- boy those puppy days go by fast- so enjoy it while you can! __________________ http://misscanam.blogspot.com/ Layla 's Simon

03-26-2009, 08:53 AM	#4
KBJsMommy Yorkie Talker Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Middle Village, NY, USA Posts: 15	Do not feel bad about the situation you are experiencing. I didnt even think in my life that I would have ever become a small dog owner, especially a toy yorkie owner. I was unsure about my situation as well but when the right time hits you will see that all this enduring you are doing while being short tempered will seem petty shortly after. There are special moments that these dogs can create in your life. I am lucky enough to have a comedian for a dog. At least twice a day killer has me in tears because of some silly thing he gets himself into or does. I am a very active live love life 27 year old...no kids and not much of an anticipation of having any JUST YET. I like to go out and travel whenever the urge hits, which used to be often. To get this dog, with a lifestyle that both me and my boyfriend have, you would think we were crazy. The first few days were magical, new puppy, blah blah blah, after the first week, the honeymoon was clearly over but I promise you as long as you see that he is still a baby and needs the attention to claim you dont have in you, your emotions will evolve. You will have it all in you plus some because in the long run he will 200% and then some return the emotional needs. Give it a chance. Dont quit yet...it will hurt him more to have to be rehomed than for you to be a little disappointed every now and again. __________________ Killer Beau-Jangles (w/ Mom & Daddy)...Proud members of the American Kennel Club, American Canine Association and Continental Kennel Club.

03-26-2009, 09:34 AM	#5
Critter YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: phoenix Posts: 445	I know exactly how you feel, we got Samson over last summer and pretty much fell in love with him, he was such a great dog. In Jan we got our 2nd yorkie, Harley and almost within hours I felt like we had made a mistake for getting a 2nd dog, his personality is nothing like Samsons and has been extremely hard to train. I wasn't bonding with him and I felt really guilty over that and posted that here cuz I felt like a horrible mom. I knew I wouldn't give up on him but I wasn't sure I would ever really bond/love him the way I do Sam. While Harley is a more spirited dog and I don't think he will ever get over that, and we still have a hard time training him, I can now say I love him so much for who he is and all that he bring to our lives. I know what you are going through and it will get better I promise. __________________ Cris --Mom to Samson and Harley and Josie the pitbull

03-30-2009, 05:51 AM	#6
hotpinktrouble Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Misawa Japan Posts: 46	Not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel right now... Thanks everyone...I'm trying to keep all this in mind. Unfortunately we had a really, really bad day together and I took him over to my friend's house early (I'm going on vacation in 2 days and they are keeping him during it). We're gonna take about 2 weeks apart and see if I can come back to this clean slate. I'm finding that I get too mean and I'm afraid of raising an equally mean dog, which is what is happening right now (today's session ended with him terrified and me with a gash in the heel of my hand).

04-01-2009, 07:13 AM	#9
Mitzis Mom No Longer a Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Maryland Posts: 2,837	I really really hope you find the solution! Did you consider to read a bit about dog training? (Yes... Yorkies ARE dogs... ) There are many good books out there. Maybe my fellow YTers can recommend some to you...

04-01-2009, 10:46 AM	#10
HChellette Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Farmerville, Louisiana Posts: 168	I remember this feeling all too well. When I first brought Silvia home, our cats hated her and I thought, "this was a huge mistake." Then she was sooo tiny and we kept "losing her" in the house, because she was so quiet and we had all carpet. Then housetraining was a nightmare until she finally got the hang of a litter box. Now that I look back on all that (she is four and a half years old) I feel extremely blessed at how well-behaved she is, compared to other dogs. Our persistence paid off because she is so easy to care for now. She is extremely laid back, never barks, is litter box trained, and can even sit at the dinner table with us and not beg. It may seem hopeless now, but hopefully you'll get to the "it was completely worth it" stage quickly! __________________ I'm a Mickey Lover, Breast Cancer supporter, and Mom to Silvia, Zubu, Rolie, Raffiki, Quillo, Kuzco, Dory, Nemo, and Pongo!

04-01-2009, 08:45 PM	#11
madden1 YorkieTalk Newbie! Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: seattle,wa Posts: 4	im feeling the exact same way. i still think it was maybe a mistake to get him.my puppy in 8 months old now and i still dont really have him trained. somedays he will potty on his pad and sometimes we wont. i guess i wasnt all consistant with it. i try to take him out in the morings before i got to work but i dont take him out at night time (sometimes) i didnt think it would be this hard to have a puppy. i want him but i dont. he is a handfull sometimes just because he wants that attention that we cant always give him. i have a 2 and 5 yr old that also needs my attention and feel if we give him up we will all miss him. its hard because the kids are attached to but they dont always play with him either. maybe if he was more trained and listen more. do you guys think its too late to train him?

04-01-2009, 09:00 PM	#12
AbbysMom08 Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Illinois Posts: 2,268	My Abby will be 8 months old on the 12th. She is nothing like the last Yorkie I had. She is very much the tompup!! We are still working on potty training. She does let me know when she has to go out though she still has an accident now and then. I'm still working on training her to follow commands. Not always working but won't give up. She is still a puppy afterall I have had 3 Yorkies in the past 30 years. I love the breed. Please be patient with your little one. I know that may be easier said than done but the rewards are wonderful!!

04-01-2009, 10:32 PM	#13
mscat YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Hanford, CA Posts: 4,895	Suzi is my first Yorkie and my first dog. She is wonderful. What I have learned is that it takes a great deal of patience and love. Potty training does not happend over night. You got to set up a routine and be consistent. Anc can't take out your anger or frustration out on the dog. That is never acceptable. The dog can feel it when the master does not like him/her. If you treat the dog badly the dog will agress. Or will become fearful. This is something to always remember . I wish people would really think things though before bringing home a pet. Becase as soon as the novalty wears off, then the dog is unwanted. the dog is not fun to have anymore. The dog is not fun to work with, it is boring, too time consuming, is bothersome. Gets in the way, cramps our lifestyle. It is a total shame. And breaks my heart. this is never fair to the innocent dog. Suzi is my Yorkie and happens to be my service animal. She is a speical dog. Because my son and I are both perm. disabled. Without her , life would be even more chalenging. __________________ "No matter how little money & how few possessions, you own, having a dog makes you rich."

04-01-2009, 10:39 PM	#14
newproudmom YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: banning, ca Posts: 435	i felt the same way when I got charlie. I have never had a dog before. Charlie is my first dog. The first night was fine b/c he slept with my brother in law so he didn't bark. The second night, i didn't get any sleep. He was barking and barking and barking non stop. I begged my husband to return him to the owner. My husband refused. The first week with potty training and take care of him and being a single mom to him in addition to having to pick up after big messy adults. It was a rough week for me. Every night, I just wanted to return him. I get very emotional and frustrated. I always joked with him that he is a little devil given to me by his devil daddy to ruin my life. Anyways, now he is my baby my love. I love him so much. I can't imagine life without him. I don't even remember life before him. I only had him since christmas. lolz. I am a crazy person. I am crazy about charlie. Be patient. It will pay off.

04-01-2009, 10:58 PM	#15
QuickSilver Thor's Human Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: San Francisco, CA Posts: 5,929 Blog Entries: 31	I'm not sure if you are referring to potty training in your original post. If you are, please be aware that most people find it an extremely frustrating process. The angriest I've ever gotten with Thor was because he peed on a table leg while I was trying to train him. Even though I knew intellectually it wasn't his fault, I saw red. I put him in his crate for an hour, did housework, cursed, and gradually calmed down. Since you say you don't want to give him up, I'd say that patience can be learned. However, if you think you have anger problems, please consider if you'll be able to manage them. Everyone makes mistakes with their dogs. However, you don't want to get into a cycle where you get into a rage, possibly hurt your dog, and then feel horribly guilty and unworthy. That will be bad for both of you. If you have a temper, think about re-homing him, or make a plan for how you will deal with your anger. I'm kind of guessing here, so maybe I'm way off base. In that case, please ignore me. __________________ If you love something, set it free. Unless it's an angry tiger.