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-   General Yorkshire Terrier Discussion (https://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/general-yorkshire-terrier-discussion/)
-   -   MY MOM is Moving In? (https://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/general-yorkshire-terrier-discussion/145582-my-mom-moving.html)

artie merlino 09-10-2008 07:18 PM
MY MOM is Moving In?
 
I'm having 2nd thoughts and Anxiety Attacks....My 65 yr. old Mother is arriving this Thursday @ 5:30 pm. she's flying in from Berkeley, California.
6 months ago she lost her Job as a Real Estate/Mortgage Broker, then lost her House in Foreclosure and then a week later got her Mercedes repo'd.
She stayed w/my Brother for 5 days and then w/my younger Sister (26 yrs. old) for the past 4 mos. I have NO Children but I have 3 Yorkies, she HATES
All ANIMALS - ESPECIALLY DOGS! There is nothing I can do, I can't change the situation and I'm definitely NOT getting rid of my Yorkies. I'm hoping that
she will fall in Love w/that Yorkie charm & personality? She can't NOT Love all 3? I'm sure that Yorkie attitude will win her over? After all NOT everyone is a
Dog Lover. Maybe I'm just nervous b/c I have'nt seen her for 3 yrs. I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight, Thanks for letting me vent.:animal-pa

BubblPopElectrc 09-10-2008 07:21 PM
Whew, good luck to you! If she won't be paying any of your utilities, I say she'll just have to suck it up! :p

Rae Rae 09-10-2008 07:47 PM
I'm wishing the best for you and your mom and the yorkies! I think it's harder NOT to fall in love with these little guys, hopefully it will be easy for your mom!

wookie 09-10-2008 07:49 PM
I think even if she is helping to pay utilities, she just has to suck it up. She's under your roof afterall.

latinaspark 09-10-2008 08:03 PM
My mom HATED dogs too. My dad always wanted one, but she never let him get one. Then she met my Pixie, now she can't wait until she has her puppies because she wants one too! :D Hopefully your mom will fall in love with yorkies too, how can she not???

Jeri Cunningham 09-10-2008 08:10 PM
I'm sure she will change her mind. My sister had some health problems at 64 and moved in with us for 16 months. I had 7 dogs at the time. She HATES dogs!
I said no problem and put a gate in the hall to prevent then from going near her room. She are in her room to avoid the dogs.

After 2 months she removed the gate and said she liked Rusty but not the others. After 4 months she decided they were all OK. Now she is in her own place and comes to visit the dogs!

The fur babies will win her over you watch!

msjagg 09-10-2008 08:29 PM
Give it time...
 
Your mom will fall in love with your Yorkies. She will have to, She's living under your roof after all. Good Luck to you all... Blessings...:aimeeyork Baron's Mom

emilyann 09-10-2008 08:33 PM
She'll fall in love, if she doesn't she's nuts :p!

My mom has NEVER been an animal lover. She's always been very allergic to them to begin with but even with that aside she still never really cared for them. I wanted a dog for YEARS and she'd NEVER let me have one. Finally, my boyfriend got Lilly for me and I moved out and we'll just put it this way, my mom calls everyday asking when I'm bringing her over again. :rolleyes:

LilyOfTheValley 09-10-2008 08:40 PM
I'm sure she will come around eventually. How could she not???

Mom moving in -- been there, done that, still have the scars.

You should be upfront with her about the "rules of the house" regarding your furkids. You will have to be firm. And make sure she doesn't "accidentally" let them out. Tell her this would not be considered an accident. It just cannot happen.

Before she even made her plans to visit you, did you have a conversation about the dogs? Do you still have time to do this? Let her know what the conditions are that she must abide by with regard to the Yorkies. Lay it all out for her, then tell her if she will abide by the rules, she is welcome. If she says one thing, but does another when she arrives, she will have to make other arrangements. This is non-negotiable.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

emilyann 09-10-2008 08:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyOfTheValley (Post 2231958)
I'm sure she will come around eventually. How could she not???

Mom moving in -- been there, done that, still have the scars.

You should be upfront with her about the "rules of the house" regarding your furkids. You will have to be firm. And make sure she doesn't "accidentally" let them out. Tell her this would not be considered an accident. It just cannot happen.

Before she even made her plans to visit you, did you have a conversation about the dogs? Do you still have time to do this? Let her know what the conditions are that she must abide by with regard to the Yorkies. Lay it all out for her, then tell her if she will abide by the rules, she is welcome. If she says one thing, but does another when she arrives, she will have to make other arrangements. This is non-negotiable.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes.
YES! Great advice! Even though she is your mom it is going to be a lot different. You absolutely HAVE to set down rules or it will never work out and you'll always be miserable (speaking from experience of having someone live with us without setting rules).

delisa2850 09-10-2008 11:23 PM
From an outsider looking in...

Your mom:
Is 65
Lost her job
Lost her home
Lost her car
Wasn't able to live with her son
Wasn't able to live with her daughter
Is moving out of state, into a totally different environment

If that was me I would be SCARED to death, and feeling very alone, lonely, vulnerable, not wanted....etc.

If anyone needs TONZ of TLC and understanding right now, it's your mom. If anyone is probably cranky and upset enough to be VERY difficult to love right now, it's probably still your mom.

If anyone is able to continually give UNCONDITIONAL love and acceptance, it's going to be your furbabies. Even the toughest, crankiest, most hardened animal haters would have to come around to the kind of love our yorkies give us. And, thankfully, our babies seem to understand far better than people how to "be kinder than necessary."

I don't envy the position you are in. Not even a little bit. Hang in there and try to look at the world through your mom's eyes - I know it has made me feel more compassionate just in the past few minutes thinking how she must feel. Things have a way of working out the way they are supposed to - I'll bet she is going to especially take to one of your babies, and she is going to take comfort from the love she receives in your home. And your yorkies are going to come out looking like the Heaven sent Angels that they truly are!

I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. All of our parents (and us!) are getting older - yours is a situation any of us might find ourselves in. Keep us posted as to how you are doing.

YORKIE_mom_2008 09-10-2008 11:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by delisa2850 (Post 2232059)
From an outsider looking in...

Your mom:
Is 65
Lost her job
Lost her home
Lost her car
Wasn't able to live with her son
Wasn't able to live with her daughter
Is moving out of state, into a totally different environment

If that was me I would be SCARED to death, and feeling very alone, lonely, vulnerable, not wanted....etc.

If anyone needs TONZ of TLC and understanding right now, it's your mom. If anyone is probably cranky and upset enough to be VERY difficult to love right now, it's probably still your mom.

If anyone is able to continually give UNCONDITIONAL love and acceptance, it's going to be your furbabies. Even the toughest, crankiest, most hardened animal haters would have to come around to the kind of love our yorkies give us. And, thankfully, our babies seem to understand far better than people how to "be kinder than necessary."

I don't envy the position you are in. Not even a little bit. Hang in there and try to look at the world through your mom's eyes - I know it has made me feel more compassionate just in the past few minutes thinking how she must feel. Things have a way of working out the way they are supposed to - I'll bet she is going to especially take to one of your babies, and she is going to take comfort from the love she receives in your home. And your yorkies are going to come out looking like the Heaven sent Angels that they truly are!

I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. All of our parents (and us!) are getting older - yours is a situation any of us might find ourselves in. Keep us posted as to how you are doing.
WOW! that was amazingly said and I agree with you 100% but..... I think she should still make it understood that her yorkies are not going anywhere either.

delisa2850 09-10-2008 11:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by YORKIE_mom_2008 (Post 2232068)
....I think she should still make it understood that her yorkies are not going anywhere either.
I couldn't agree with you more!!! Those babies aren't going anywhere!!!

yorkiemomto4 09-11-2008 12:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by delisa2850 (Post 2232059)
From an outsider looking in...

Your mom:
Is 65
Lost her job
Lost her home
Lost her car
Wasn't able to live with her son
Wasn't able to live with her daughter
Is moving out of state, into a totally different environment

If that was me I would be SCARED to death, and feeling very alone, lonely, vulnerable, not wanted....etc.

If anyone needs TONZ of TLC and understanding right now, it's your mom. If anyone is probably cranky and upset enough to be VERY difficult to love right now, it's probably still your mom.

If anyone is able to continually give UNCONDITIONAL love and acceptance, it's going to be your furbabies. Even the toughest, crankiest, most hardened animal haters would have to come around to the kind of love our yorkies give us. And, thankfully, our babies seem to understand far better than people how to "be kinder than necessary."

I don't envy the position you are in. Not even a little bit. Hang in there and try to look at the world through your mom's eyes - I know it has made me feel more compassionate just in the past few minutes thinking how she must feel. Things have a way of working out the way they are supposed to - I'll bet she is going to especially take to one of your babies, and she is going to take comfort from the love she receives in your home. And your yorkies are going to come out looking like the Heaven sent Angels that they truly are!

I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. All of our parents (and us!) are getting older - yours is a situation any of us might find ourselves in. Keep us posted as to how you are doing.
VERY NICELY SAID!!! A good mom would not want your yorkies to go anywhere and im sure she will love them. Just remember about moms, we dont know what we got until its gone for good! I would give anything in this whole world to have mine back. Good luck to you, your babies and your mom.

chachi 09-11-2008 12:35 AM
I know you are nervous but it will all work out. I wish I were in your shoes. I lost My Mom about 7 yrs ago


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