Wanting some advice pls! - YorkieTalk.com Forums

LittleMansMomma · 03-21-2008, 11:14 PM

My cousins fur baby Pointer (which is Little Mans biological brother but from another litter) was hit by an 18 wheeler yesterday morning.

She and her 6yr old son was trying to get Pointer out of the road, and they witnessed the whole thing. They are having a very hard time handling it, especially her son. Her son (when they would go to town) would introduce Pointer has his brother. He was so attached to Pointer. They had Pointer since he was 3 months old. He was 9 months old. It just about killed me when I seen him so tore up, screaming and crying.

She asked me what she should do, if she should go ahead and get another puppy to help with her sons grief or should wait. I told her I didn't know because I was attached to Pointer myself.

Now here's where I need ya'll to help me out with your wisdom. Would it help if she were to get another fur baby to help her son with his grieving? I do know she's grieving just as much as her son, but she's not letting it show for her sons sake.

Itspuppyluv · 03-22-2008, 12:38 AM

Getting him a new puppy right away could help spare him some pain but since he is so young I would be concerned about the message I was sending by instantly replacing something he loved.

Children recover from loss faster (talking about it and letting him express how he feels will help) than adults so it would not have to be that long before they got a new puppy but if it were me I would give him time to grieve.

As much as we wish we could spare our children any suffering going through the stages of grief is a healthy process.

Beabble · 03-22-2008, 01:24 AM

My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to the two of them. As far as getting another puppy right now, I think her and her son should talk about it together and come to an answer to that question themselves, I mean, only THEY know if they are ready or not.

Mom to Hot Rod · 03-22-2008, 06:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Itspuppyluv

Getting him a new puppy right away could help spare him some pain but since he is so young I would be concerned about the message I was sending by instantly replacing something he loved.

Children recover from loss faster (talking about it and letting him express how he feels will help) than adults so it would not have to be that long before they got a new puppy but if it were me I would give him time to grieve.

As much as we wish we could spare our children any suffering going through the stages of grief is a healthy process.

I agree with this. I would let the child decide when he is ready to open his heart to another puppy.

Suzy · 03-22-2008, 07:40 AM

I am so sorry to hear this. I agree-you might want to wait awhile until the child is ready for another puppy. He needs time to grieve, and understand the valuable life of the companion he lost. In time, he will be ready for another. I agree with the fact that it takes children less time than adults to grieve, so it might be best to let him make the call about when he's ready.

hha · 03-22-2008, 08:02 AM

I have a 9 year old grandson, and my answer would be yes, but, let him find the puppy he wants...

Gingergirlsmom · 03-22-2008, 08:05 AM

Oh, I am so sorry. This is heartbreaking.

I agree with "Itspuppyluv". Sounds like words of wisdom to me.

winstonw · 03-22-2008, 08:12 AM

oh I am so very very sorry. It is so hard to have that happen, but to see and hear it is just so traumatic. Maybe she should ask her son if he would like to wait to get one or if he would feel better to get one now. She could explain it wouln't be replacing him and that he will always live on in their hearts. This is a big lesson to learn for such a little guy isn't it? I have always wanted to tell you for some time I love the name Little Man. It is so cute. I'm so sorry about his brother.

memphismomma · 03-22-2008, 08:55 AM

Im So sorry for Your nephew and Sister and You as well I just wanted to add if he goes to Kindergarden yet Your sister should Ask if he could talk to the Consouler for Greif Counsiling I know It is not as tramatic as losing A human But in Your Nehews eyes it was Its free trou the school and Could tramendously Help I hope that helps in some way I know if it were my son who is extremly senstive and caring seeing somthing like that could dsetroy his lil heart i truely Hope he feels better soon Sending Prayers your way

memphismomma · 03-22-2008, 09:03 AM

opps sorry i tought it was your sister my apologies i just woke up ...

For My Coby · 03-22-2008, 09:17 AM

Larissa,
I thought about you all night last night. And thought about my very similar childhood loss some more. I knew you'd get some wise advice here. Still praying for you all. Like I told you, the memory will be with him forever, but the pain will subside. ~~ Huge Hugs ~~

J_is_my_initial · 03-22-2008, 10:01 AM

I know as an 19 year old married woman, I lost a beloved dog by a truck hitting him at the corner of the driveway. The driver gave me another puppy but I never bonded with it. It could never replace the one I lost- the first puppy my new hubby and I had gotten and named Baby. I would take some time and discuss what the child feels like doing. Talk about what kind of dog to get and discuss his feelings a lot.

Nancy1999 · 03-22-2008, 10:16 AM

This just breaks my heart, and please don't take this the wrong way, but will they be able to take steps from this happening again? This is the number one cause of death in unneutered male dogs.

deb22 · 03-22-2008, 11:21 AM

I am so sorry. I could not imagine seeing something like that. Let alone a child seeing it. Maybe ask the boy if he feels he could handle a new puppy now. Leave it up to him. I often think about that myself. I do think if it happened to me and I got another, I would constantly be comparing the new pup to Penny. She is one of a kind. Aren't they all! Again. I am so sorry.

RIP

fbmom · 03-22-2008, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suzy

I am so sorry to hear this. I agree-you might want to wait awhile until the child is ready for another puppy. He needs time to grieve, and understand the valuable life of the companion he lost. In time, he will be ready for another. I agree with the fact that it takes children less time than adults to grieve, so it might be best to let him make the call about when he's ready.

good advice

03-21-2008, 11:14 PM	#1
LittleMansMomma Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Greenfield, TN Posts: 743	Wanting some advice pls! My cousins fur baby Pointer (which is Little Mans biological brother but from another litter) was hit by an 18 wheeler yesterday morning. She and her 6yr old son was trying to get Pointer out of the road, and they witnessed the whole thing. They are having a very hard time handling it, especially her son. Her son (when they would go to town) would introduce Pointer has his brother. He was so attached to Pointer. They had Pointer since he was 3 months old. He was 9 months old. It just about killed me when I seen him so tore up, screaming and crying. She asked me what she should do, if she should go ahead and get another puppy to help with her sons grief or should wait. I told her I didn't know because I was attached to Pointer myself. Now here's where I need ya'll to help me out with your wisdom. Would it help if she were to get another fur baby to help her son with his grieving? I do know she's grieving just as much as her son, but she's not letting it show for her sons sake. __________________ Larissa mommy to Little Man Tawny Odie Proud Member of: SRC LGC

03-22-2008, 12:38 AM	#2
Itspuppyluv Gus Is The Fuss Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: New Jersey Posts: 2,277	Getting him a new puppy right away could help spare him some pain but since he is so young I would be concerned about the message I was sending by instantly replacing something he loved. Children recover from loss faster (talking about it and letting him express how he feels will help) than adults so it would not have to be that long before they got a new puppy but if it were me I would give him time to grieve. As much as we wish we could spare our children any suffering going through the stages of grief is a healthy process. __________________ Erin & Gus Gus You lost me at stay! "He is a good heart and a kind soul, and an angel on four feet." MW

03-22-2008, 01:24 AM	#3
Beabble YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Ohio Posts: 2,104 Blog Entries: 4	My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to the two of them. As far as getting another puppy right now, I think her and her son should talk about it together and come to an answer to that question themselves, I mean, only THEY know if they are ready or not. __________________ ~Tracy~

03-22-2008, 07:40 AM	#5
Suzy 2 Pups=Double Trouble! Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Iowa Posts: 6,581	I am so sorry to hear this. I agree-you might want to wait awhile until the child is ready for another puppy. He needs time to grieve, and understand the valuable life of the companion he lost. In time, he will be ready for another. I agree with the fact that it takes children less time than adults to grieve, so it might be best to let him make the call about when he's ready. __________________ Suzy Emma & Milli What's better than loving a yorkie? Loving two yorkies! Milli 's Remi!

03-22-2008, 08:05 AM	#7
Gingergirlsmom and Bernie's mom too!" Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 8,283	Oh, I am so sorry. This is heartbreaking. I agree with "Itspuppyluv". Sounds like words of wisdom to me. __________________ Ginger Bernie Fun Kitty

03-22-2008, 08:02 AM	#6
hha No Longer a Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Seneca, SC Posts: 2,837	I have a 9 year old grandson, and my answer would be yes, but, let him find the puppy he wants...

03-22-2008, 08:12 AM	#8
winstonw Donating YT Addict Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Boonville, IN Posts: 2,018	oh I am so very very sorry. It is so hard to have that happen, but to see and hear it is just so traumatic. Maybe she should ask her son if he would like to wait to get one or if he would feel better to get one now. She could explain it wouln't be replacing him and that he will always live on in their hearts. This is a big lesson to learn for such a little guy isn't it? I have always wanted to tell you for some time I love the name Little Man. It is so cute. I'm so sorry about his brother. __________________ Winston Packer & Pokey Proud member of the CrAzYcLuB Winston Abby

03-22-2008, 08:55 AM	#9
memphismomma BANNED! Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: california Posts: 525	Im So sorry for Your nephew and Sister and You as well I just wanted to add if he goes to Kindergarden yet Your sister should Ask if he could talk to the Consouler for Greif Counsiling I know It is not as tramatic as losing A human But in Your Nehews eyes it was Its free trou the school and Could tramendously Help I hope that helps in some way I know if it were my son who is extremly senstive and caring seeing somthing like that could dsetroy his lil heart i truely Hope he feels better soon Sending Prayers your way

03-22-2008, 09:03 AM	#10
memphismomma BANNED! Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: california Posts: 525	opps sorry i tought it was your sister my apologies i just woke up ...

03-22-2008, 09:17 AM	#11
For My Coby Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Illinois Posts: 4,139	Larissa, I thought about you all night last night. And thought about my very similar childhood loss some more. I knew you'd get some wise advice here. Still praying for you all. Like I told you, the memory will be with him forever, but the pain will subside. ~~ Huge Hugs ~~ __________________ Diane, and my boys ..... Coby and Reggie !! Striving to be a YTPP - a YT Positive Poster! In Memory of My Beautiful Mother 7/22/28-8/27/08

03-22-2008, 10:01 AM	#12
J_is_my_initial YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Knoxville,Tennessee Posts: 3,073	I know as an 19 year old married woman, I lost a beloved dog by a truck hitting him at the corner of the driveway. The driver gave me another puppy but I never bonded with it. It could never replace the one I lost- the first puppy my new hubby and I had gotten and named Baby. I would take some time and discuss what the child feels like doing. Talk about what kind of dog to get and discuss his feelings a lot. __________________ PAWPRINTS AND DOG HAIR ENHANCE MY PERSONAL STYLE.

03-22-2008, 10:16 AM	#13
Nancy1999 I ♥ Joey & Ralphie! Donating Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Arizona Posts: 25,396 Blog Entries: 2	This just breaks my heart, and please don't take this the wrong way, but will they be able to take steps from this happening again? This is the number one cause of death in unneutered male dogs. __________________ NancyJoey Proud members of the CrAzYcLuB and YAP! ** Just Say No to Puppymills – Join YAP! Yorkshire Terrier Club of America – Breeder Referrals

03-22-2008, 11:21 AM	#14
deb22 Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: us Posts: 1,500	I am so sorry. I could not imagine seeing something like that. Let alone a child seeing it. Maybe ask the boy if he feels he could handle a new puppy now. Leave it up to him. I often think about that myself. I do think if it happened to me and I got another, I would constantly be comparing the new pup to Penny. She is one of a kind. Aren't they all! Again. I am so sorry. RIP __________________ Deb and Penny (aka Miss Picky Pants) Member of the Spoiled Rotten Club