I have never been so upset in my life...
 

My boyfriend of 3 1/2 years just broke up with me. We have lived together for the past 2 years, and have been talking about marriage recently...everything was fine. And then he left a letter in my bag when I was packing to head back up to school for week...a cop-out I know...:(

I have 7 babies (6 yorkies and a cat)...and I have to move back in with my mom because I have nowhere else to go. My mom has 2 dogs already, and she lives in a nice neighborhood that has very restrictive policies on building. We entertained the idea of building a little heated and air-conditioned kennel out back, but it's strictly prohibited. We're thinking about all options, even enclosing a space in the garage for a small kennel area and putting a space heater in there. She has a bonus room that is the only place I can stay, and I can keep the cat up there and probably 2 dogs a time in the house with me, but her house is very nice and she doesn't want it in disarray (which I understand). So we're exhausting all options here...

Selling or rehoming ANY of my animals is just NOT an option...it's NOT going to happen. We're going to start looking in the paper for a house that someone is selling or renting that has no down payment or closing costs right now...because I can afford monthly payments, but not a big total in the beginning (sorry if that is confusing). But I have no idea how difficult that's going to be to find or if I'll even be able to have a mortgage on my own house...so for right now I have to try and figure out what to do...

I am so upset about everything...I feel like this is a movie and I'm sitting here watching it and not living it. I've been crying for 17 hours straight...and I need some advice...I can't think anymore...

does anyone have any suggestions? anything would be GREATLY appreciated... you have no idea. thanks guys...

While I don't have any ideas, I want to say i am very sorry you are going thru this. Did he take care of the dogs while you are at school?

I'm so so sorry, you must be heartbroken, you poor thing! Have you tried to call the boy friend to see what is up?

I commend you on sticking together with your babies, and it will all work out, I just know it will.

Let me know if you need someone to talk to, I'm home and here for you hun.

No I always take them with me...I have a cabin up in Boone but the lease ends in a week...

Thank you...yeah we talked...he's confused right now and doesn't know what he wants...

I really appreciate it...you're so sweet...

Im so sorry to hear about your break up. You must feel so hurt. A letter is not a nice way to find out. How soon do you have to move? Is there anyone who you could have as a roommate to share expenses? A breakup is hard enough without all the other things you are having to figure out. I hope you feel better and find a solution that is good for you and your furkids!

I'm very sorry!! I too had been dating a boy for around 3 years and was dumped through an email from Europe (he was on a school trip) so I can say that I can relate somewhat. :(

This must be very hard, but I'm glad you are being a responsible owner and not just ditching your babies.

Keep your chin up!

im sorry you are going through this....:(

i know you said re-homing isnt an option, but do you have any friends that may be willing to take a baby or two for a short time while you organize your self and living arrangments? or even other YTers in your area that you know that could pup-sit? that could be an option if you cant have all your babies at you moms.

I hope you come up with a good solution. your babies will help you through this time. we are thinking of you..

I am so sorry such a thing has happened to you. I hope you can work
things out between you and your mom. Your idea sounds ok for now.
At least this will give you time to get your head straightened out.
You need time to think. I would try and speak to your BF he owes
you an explaination. Looks like he took the cowardly way out.
Don't let him get away with it. Face to face ,after two years, he
owes you that.
Good luck sweetie,

So sorry this is happening to you dear... stay positive and focused and you'll find your way. Keep in mind that if your still a student dear, buying a house right now might be a bit much... its a huge commitment and something that should be carefully thought out... Wishing the best for ya :)

I graduate in a week...

I am so sorry you are going through this, I would be so angry not about the break up part (that would mostly hurt) but the letter thing. I mean if he couldn't even sum up the nerve to tell you personally then is just not thinking straight. Too mad for him, and just think it's his loss. He goes off alone and you still have all our babies.

Wow! You must be in total shock. :( I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I am thinking that the place you have to move out of belongs to your ex? If not, then I would not be the one to leave! I would make him move out! :mad: :mad:

If it does belong to him and you must leave, I would find a roommate and rent a house. Meanwhile, maybe you could get some baby-sitting help? At least until finals are over...

I am so sorry this has happened.:( Yes, your boyfriend totally took the coward's way out...what a loser! I have a few suggestions, but am far more vindictive than *most* people, so I'll refrain.:cool: You are far better off without him!
I know things will be hard for a bit, but they will all work out for you and your babies in the end. At least you have a bunch of people here willing to help you see what a jerk he was!;)

Oh girl!!!

Why do guys do this right before the holidays!!?? What a meanie!

BIG HUGS!!!

If you want to talk, you can call me.(PM me for #) Man I have been through this with my BF of 4 yrs. We broke up at this time about 2 yrs ago.

I hope all works out with your babies.

Stacy

[B][I][SIZE="2"]I hope he has given you an explanation for his sudden "change of heart". Why would a guy talk about marriage and then end it and with a letter...please. That sounds like something a kid would do not a man. I know it's tough right now with all the decisions and especially the holidays coming up but you are young with a whole world awaiting. Good luck with your babies and finding a new home.

You have six babies who are going to keep you very happy, with or without a boyfriend!

I wish you luck in finding a larger home. It's too bad the heated kennel isn't an option.

You graduate in a week? You're pretty much a set woman. Once you get working and not worrying about homework or exams, you can focus on the future ahead of you!!! Congrats!

So sorry for you... don't give out on your babies... things will work out soon I am sure... HUGS!

I'm so sorry you have to go thru this. I hope you everything works out for you soon. Is it hard to find rentals there? because if you can affort monthly payment, you should be ok eventually. Maybe you can find some nice friends and family that can help you with your babies while you find a place to live...

I live with my BF as well and there have been times where we've almost broken up... I looked into moving in with friends. I still have that option if things ever go bad. I can't move back home because my mom's condo complex doesn't allow dogs. Plus, living on your own can get pretty expensive, especially when dogs are involved. If you don't have any friends to move in with, then you should look into pre-construction homes or already built homes in a newly developed community, because the builders usually have deals where they'll pay the closing costs and what not.

What a jerk to dump this all on you and take the easy way out. If there is anything that I can do please let me know. I'm just a few hours away if you need anything at all. Do you have any friends that you could stay with while trying to figure everything out? Maybe your mom could watch the furkids till you graduate and get a plan of action? Just trying to throw out some ideas. With everything else going on in your life right now, he picks this time to put you through this. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this.

(((((HUGS)))))

That's what I was thinking...I know it won't be easy...but I'll do anything to keep these babies...as others have said--my babies are what keep me sane. I would be 10x worse right now if it weren't for them. Maddie keeps licking my tears away and they're all curled up with me looking concerned...I love them so much...

Sorry to hear about the situation with the boyfriend.

There are a bunch of government programs available for first time home buyers....check www.hud.gov

Also see if you can find a nice home in which the seller is offering "seller assist". The seller assist can pay for basicall ALL closing costs. Most mortgage companies allow anywhere from 3 to 6% sellers assist. With the home industry being what it is, many sellers will offer this option.

You might be able to find a mortgage lender that offers a no down or an 80/20 mortgage. An 80/20 mortgage is actually 2 mortages in which one is for 80% and the other is 20%. The advantage is there is no PMI (private mortgage insureance requried) and you don't have a down payment (or a small down payment on an 80/15 loan (5% down) ).

Very good friends of ours just bought a home a few months back. Cost was about $275,000. Their TOTAL out of pocket was under $4000. Seller's assist paid all closing costs and they got a no money down mortgage. The $4000 was needed to prepay the property taxes in PA (your state may have different requirements).

Also note, the tax part of the equation. If you find a nice house with low taxes (say under $1000), YOUR out of pocket could be very very low.......

Meet with a good realator & mortgage broker. They may be of great help.

Good luck

I feel so bad for you!!!! Sounds like he picked the worse time to do this break up....right before Christmas and right before you graduate which should be such a happy time!! Just wanted to say that I hope things work out for the best for you!!!

I'm so sorry:( This must be so hard for you, ill be praying it all works out

I don't have much advice, but I'm really sorry this happened to you :(.

Is there anyway you could find a rental that would allow all your pets? I know sometimes if you put down a large pet deposit, the landlord will allow it.

I wish you the best of luck if you decide to attempt to purchase a home. I know with the way the housing market is, it is very hard to get financing. But if you do happen to get financing it is more of a buyers market for sure, at least where I live. Just remember to think about how much taxes will cost you per year. I thought my house was only going to be 700/mo but I forgot about good old taxes, LOL -- it's around 920 a month :).

If you really want to make it work, which I know you do since rehoming isn't an option for you, I'm sure you will find a way somehow :) Stay strong!!

I agree! Some people can be such cowards about these things. Tell that you-know-what the we are all mad at him too!

Anyway, I know there are financial institutions that offer no down payment mortgages. Do you r research and you should be able to find a new home you can afford.
Good luck.

I am so sorry! What a cowardly thing to do; especially a week before your graduation and the holidays. Honey,you deserve way better then that!

I have a couple of ideas about housing..(I work at a mortgage company)
I would contact a good realtor that specializes in first time home buying. There are alot of programs out there.
Ameridreams.org has down payment assistance programs.
Talk to your local bank about foreclosures, there are some really good deals out there right now.
Take a deep breath and take care of yourself right now.
PM me if you want and I can give you some more info.

I'm so sorry:( He doesn\'t DESERVE you, what a coward:thumbdown And a bonified jerk for doing this right before your graduation AND the holidays:mad:

Things WILL work out, don\'t worry too much:love:

I had a jerk of a boyfriend dump me in a letter too...sad thing is..I would have married this jerk if he had asked me, anyway...i met my hubby the following year and we have now been married nearly 14 years.
I hope this works out for you, i know the hurt you are feeling..I used to cry till my eyes were swollen..I loved that jerk so much :rolleyes: one day you will see that theres someone better out there for you. you deserve to be treated better than that. Hugs to you. x