Yorkie is afraid and trembles when she sees me. What should I do?
 

I have a Yorkie mix that was recently hospitalized coz of dehydration and a very high ALT. I posted a thread on this in the Emergencies page. She had problems because of the heartworm treatment (proheart shot), rabies vaccines, distemper vaccines and 2 other vaccines given to her in the same day by the vet. I got her 3 weeks ago, she's a rescue dog that's around 3 years old. She showed signs of being abused by the previous owner, and she is generally well behaved and will potty outside, but I've noticed she's more used to the garden and scavenging than being an indoor animal. She is very nervous and jumpy around people and tends to bite my house guests.

Recently, she started to warm up to me and my home. THis started when she came back home from the vet. We've actually given her tons of love and affection when she got back, sometimes to the point of babying her. Given her heart condition and previous life, it's hard not to shower her with as much love and affection. Anyways, long story short...

Last night I went out for dinner for a few hours and left her with the maids. They don't abuse her or yell at her because they love her as much. She initially warmed up to the maids before me or my brothers coz the maids were the first to see her and play with her. When I got home, everything seemed normal. I did notice she was a bit jumpy and would bark when I played this movie with people talking.

I brought her to my room so she could sleep, while I fiddled with the computer. I did buy her some new toys that I don't think she liked coz she would put them on her crate and start pushing them with her nose. She eventually fell asleep so I sat on the floor and started petting her. She turned to her back allowing me access to pet her chest and tummy, which she loves, so I did. Then I don't know what I did or what she saw coz it happened so fast. All i was doing was rubbing her chest and tummy as she fell asleep and i started to yawn. I don't make loud noises when I yawn, just open my mouth and yawn. This startled her i think. It totally freaked her out so she started to growl and bark at me. This of course scared me coz I've seen her bite, and I don't know if she's developing rabies or something. At first I was begging her/ pleading her to stop barking but this made her angrier, so I stood up and she jumped to the bathroom and barked some more. By this time I was already yelling her name, yelling for her to stop but she wouldn't. She peed a little too while in the bathroom. I turned around and left immediately and asked my dad for help. She seemed fine when I came back in coz she's afraid of my dad as well. She only follows 3 people around, me and my 2 maids. I live with 5 other people, my parents, 2 brothers and another maid. So as far as our home is concerned she's still getting accustomed to the others.

I then went downstairs with her and when I sat on the couch she growled and barked at me again. This time I didn't yell at her anymore. I just asked her to stop, but by this time she wouldn't come near me anymore. She would cower and shake when I try to pet her and carry her.

I gave her some space so I went upstairs and since she didn't want to follow, I left her alone downstairs. I gave her an hour then I went downstairs again, this time she trembled upon seeing me, the same trembling she does when there's a thunderstorm. She would not come near me and she would hide from me. I carried her to my room to sleep and she did go into her crate. I don't know if she slept, I know I didn't sleep all night. This morning when I woke up she was already awake. I don't think she slept at all, and at first she was all excited to see me then i bring her downstairs again, things changed again. It's like she's afraid to look at me, like she's so afraid of me that she couldn't pee or poop in front of me. I'd be lucky if she eats something today, given that she's already a picky eater.

What should I do?? I didn't know what to do when she barked and growled at me like as if she didn't know who I was. SHe looked at me like I was a complete stranger and that scared me coz I've read about dogs that go crazy and stuff. She's already difficult coz of her past so I got really frightened. I've asked the maids to ignore her and allow her to only respond to me. This has helped sort of coz when they're around she coughs, I don't know if it's real cough or just pretend cough. THey ignore her, so when I called her to come up she did. But she's still afraid of me.

Will she ever give me her trust again? What should I do to change this behaviour towards me? Should I continue to ask the maids to ignore her or give in to what she wants? She looks at them like they're her saviours. They're there to save her from me. Should I ignore her as well?

It took me weeks to get her to follow me around and it took a long time for her to start squeezing herself near me when on the couch. Now it's like I've given her only fear. It's like none of the things we've done together ever mattered. She's very volatile and unpredictable. I don't know how to handle her.

Please help. THANKS.

Wow, there is a lot going on here. I'm not quite sure how to respond.

In the short term, most dogs will respond if you lie down on the floor and toss them treats.

Longer term, it can be extremely difficult to rehab a fearful dog, not to mention one that bites. I would strongly suggest hiring a trainer who uses positive reinforcement to help you work with her. You can also do research on the web. There is so much that comes into play: body language, training, managing her aggression and patience, patience, patience.

Thanks. I have contacted a few trainers and they tell me to ignore her. I don't know how much I should ignore her but all they keep saying is ignore her. She's afraid of me and I'm wondering if ignoring her will only result in her fearing me even more coz I don't show that I'm trying to comfort her.

She confuses me a lot right now though coz she'd lick my feet, lick my hands, even wag her tail when she sees me but the instant she looks at my face, it's like she can't look at me. She can't give me eye contact and she'd cower when I try to pet her. She's showing me submissiveness but only coz she's fearful of me. when i get off from bed, she's fine, then i sit on the floor, we're not ok again. I walk downstairs with her, she's fine, then I sit on the couch, she can't bear the sight of me again. and she tries to sit far far away, then later on she'll sit by the couch near me while i'm sleeping. I try to put her on the couch and she'd cower again. It's like this over and over. When i'm alone, she follows me around, when the maids appear or when she hears them, she can't wait to get rid of me and she starts pacing so she can go to them. If I move and stuff, she'd get startled.

I know this is all my fault for being stupid enough to pet her while she was asleep and yawning in her presence, and then yelling at her when we both got frightened of each other. But I really got frightened coz she just looked at me like she didn't know who I was. It was that connection that scared me a lot. She looked like a mad dog that didn't trust me enough to be comfortable with whatever I was doing. I frightened her that much, to the point that she peed a little. It breaks my heart to think that she thought I was even capable of hurting her like that.

Ignoring unwanted behavior is good because if you don't, then the result would be to encourage it, in her mind.

You also must try to get past this. Dogs live in the moment, she's reacting to what is going on now. You have to forgive her and yourself and pretend it didn't happen. If you're nervous, she'll sense that and respond to it. You must be calm around her.

Just ignore her for now, go about your day to day business. Get a routine of feeding and taking care of her needs, and do it all without emotion. Just do the basics, when she begins to realize you're not going to harm her, she'll get bored and slowly try to get next to you again.

This is a critical time. If you react to her growling, she will learn that she has power over you. You want to avoid that. You must also get over the fear of being bitten. Even if she did bite you, and you contracted Rabies, you would get shots to cure it. So getting bit will not kill you.

I once had a terrible fear of snakes. I would get weak in the knees, start shaking all over, break out in a sweat, and just about pass out. When I worked for a vet, I asked one of the clients, who bred snakes, what was the best way to get over my fear. He said to come out to his place of business and he would teach me to work with his snakes. I started working with the baby snakes. The bad thing with babies is they perceive themselves as prey, and tend to bite more often than grown snakes. The good thing was that their bites would not kill me.

I thought about this long and hard... he was right. I wasn't afraid of the snakes themselves, but of death by snake. It took a few weeks for my mind to accept this. The next step was to learn how to react to a bite. The goal was to be completely non-reactive. Yeah, right. The first bite had me shaking again and all my irrational fears returned. But as I continued working with the babies, that fear subsided. I could take a bite, and laugh it off. I would bleed a bit, it hurt a bit, but I knew I wouldn't die from it, and that's when my fears subsided.

And just an FYI: The breeder I worked for was the first person in the world to successfully breed Albino Boa Contrictors, and at that time one snake would sell for $10,000.00. He went on to breed Piebald Ball Pythons, and was the first to prove that the piebald coloring was genetic. These sold for $25,000.00 each. Very interesting job.

Sorry about that, now back to your dog. Sounds like she may have spent some time on the street, where she had to rely on her instincts to even survive, or that she was never tamed. This will take time. Just accept her as she is for now, and remove any expectations of how you would like her to be. That will all come in time and it may take months. So you have a dog that's a bit on the wild side, not too friendly, nervous, and unreliable. That's okay. To expect more of her right now will only cause you to be frustrated. Do what you can to be her friend, and don't do what you can't, and accept it for now. If it makes you feel better, look for things around the house that you could use to block any attempt of hers to come after you. This will help put your mind at ease until any unpredictable behavior ceases.

Thanks yet again KJC. Your posts are very informative.
Today I did pet her and carry her and stuff. There was a thunderstorm and she is afraid of those. She will tremble all over when she hears thunders. So when this started I knew she'd want me to carry her or comfort her. So i sat on the couch, and she immediately jumped on the couch and squeezed herself next to me. I didn't baby her like i would but i did nudge her and patted her back just to let her know I'm next to her and she shouldn't worry. Was this wrong? Should I have kept her on the floor and not have shown any concern?

I try to be emotionless and do my thing quietly, call her during feeding time. Not make a big fuss over her. But when she starts to play and when she does something good, I do pet her and tell her she's been a good girl. Is this wrong also? Should I not show any kind of emotion or react to her in any way?

She didn't sleep in my room tonight coz she was ignoring me, we were fine and she would come to me when i called her but when i was lying on the bed she saw something again. So she started to hide from me. She doesn't bark or growl at me anymore but she is very very afraid of me. So when she ignored me, I brought her crate to my brothers room, we were in his room when she saw something in my face again. She's sleeping there tonight. and i'll just feed her tomorrow.

What signs will I have to watch out for in order to see that I can go back to being normal around her and that i can start showering attention and affection?

Thanks.

I'm going to recommend again that you get a trainer who will come to your house and work with you on a regular basis. It sounds like you don't have a lot of experience with fearful dogs, and you will need to learn a lot to take good care of her.

For instance, many dogs won't make eye contact: it's considered challenging. I would not try to look her in the face at all. You should also move slowly around her. Don't bend over her or try to pat her on the head. Keep your body turned away from her.

I would strongly suggest a trainer. Also try to find one that may have some experience with this or one that may even specialize in it.

I am not a trainer by any means but I can tell you the experience I had growing up with a rescue dog.

When I was a child we adopted a puppy from the pound. He was only 4 months and was abused and afraid of everyone and everything. When we brought him home he would run and hide, shake and bark. When he acted this way we gave him space. Not really ignoring him but let him go off to were he felt safe and just sat in the same area. Then when he would come out we still just waited. We would let him come to us, on his own time. When he did come over we did not try to pet him or raise our arms (if they are abused they may not your trying to show love, they may think you are going to hit them) we would just let him sniff us and around us. Talk to him in a soft gentle voice telling him he is a good boy. This went on for a long time. Slowly he would get more comfortable and we would pet him and give him treats. We had to earn his trust. He was always skidish around new people and anyone wearing a hat but after a long time he came around and become of the the best loving dogs anyone could ask for.

I recommend staying very calm when they start barking and shaking. Sensing that you are anxious may only make it worse. Good luck and I hope this helps.

I also have a very shy yorkie. I would recommend buying this book it is very helpful and has helped me with my fearful dog. Amazon.com: Help for Your Fearful Dog: A...
Polo is the type that when I try to go pick him up he runs away and he never really likes to come to me. And he was scared of the leash would run away whenever I brought it out, but finally now with the help of the book He will come and touch his leash so I can hook his leash on and take him outside.

I am so sorry your having this trouble. I hope she warms up to you again. I would do what the trainers tell you. I hope in time it helps.

Hi guys, thanks so much for your replies.

If she likes to go to the maids and play with the maids, should this be allowed? or will this only make her ignore me and fear me even more coz she doesn't see any interaction with me?

When we got her she's always followed the maids around so I'm thinking she probably thinks the maids are her master and we're just guests or strangers. So for me to not confuse her about that, can the maids call her and play with her like they did before this incident? She's fearful but a week before this incident she's been doing fine with us, playing, being naughty, trying to chew on everything except furniture. She became bolder around the maids and i. So we were carrying her around, playing with her, and doing everything normal. Can the maids do that or should they also do what i'm doing? She's only afraid of me and not the maids.

Today I went to my brother's room to check on her and she immediately came up to me all excited so i played with her and stuff, but this was before i read your posts so I didn't know I'd have to wait 5 to15 minutes and still ignore her. Then I went to the bathroom and when i sat, she gave me a good look and saw my face again and immediately lowered herself and sat on a corner. I cannot really see if she was trembling or not but she usually sits when she's afraid of something. so i ignored her and left the room.

I have spoken to dog trainers. 2 actually, 1 was not that helpful coz all he told me was to ignore her and i dunno how I ignore something that's living and following me around and stuff. The other told me to give her a safe environment or space in the house where she could hide and she told me to avoid looking at her while i play with her or feed her. She told me not to hover and stuff, but still play with her and pet her once in a while.

i'm ok with ignoring her and stuff. I want to go out and do things for myself too, but i don't know how the maids are supposed to treat her. My main concern is they don't know how to deal with this incident and her personality and they might do their own thing with her and end up making it more difficult for me to alleviate this problem.

So please let me know how we're supposed to deal with this. Treat it this way: She's afraid of some people in the house and not others. But everyone of us live here and we all want to play with her and see her come around.

I don't want her to recognize the maids as her masters coz if they leave, then I'd be stuck with a depressed dog who'd think she'd been abandoned. She's gone through enough of that. She knows she has to follow me around. But if you let her choose she wouldn't. She barks at my mom, is afraid of my dad and my brothers. So do we all do your recommendations with the dog, including the maids?

Thanks.

Again I am not a professional trainer but this is how I would handle it. If she is coming right up to you excited and ready to play, go with it. Be slow, do not make any sudden moves that may come of as aggressive to her. I certainty would not ignore her if she is willing to go to you.

As far as the maids go, establishing who is their "master" is pure animal instincts. She may just feel more comfortable around them since they are around more. If you want to be their master you have to make your self the alpha. Usually a male takes this on but can be achieved by a female as well if you do it the right way. You have to show them you are the dominate one of the pack (the pack leader). Two great ways to bond with your dog if 1: Walking them. It is so beneficial, everything with confidence, exercise to making them feel like more of a pack with you. 2: Playing with them. If you have a softer toy that you can hold one end and they pull the other. The dog will usually thrash the toy around and growl. The first time I saw Star do it I got really concerned that she was being mean, so I did some homework and found that its the instincts to act like that. Like they are killing an animal with you. It forms a bond. If you are worried that the maids are spending to much time with her, then get a crate if you do not already have one and put her in there for some of the time. Not all day, she should be able to interact with them.

The trainer that told you she needs a safe place is complete right. A crate is a great thing for them. Leave it open and easy for her to get to at anytime. Making it really soft with blankets and putting a sheet over it makes it even more comforting to them. I highly recommend that. I would also recommend reading about the roles that animals play in the packs. It really gives tome insight on why they act the way they do. Here is a great version. Alpha (ethology) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In reading your post all I can think of is she was abused by a woman in her previous home. When this happens sometimes we can trigger a memory same as it happens with people. It will take a lot of time and patience on your part to get her to trust people especially you that's where it has to start. Good luck keep us up to date.

Again, you are providing a lot of information, which is great, but it's hard to respond to it all.

Let her bond with the maids. The more people she likes, the more comfortable she will be.

Do not worry about being her "master". This is very easy to accomplish. Before you feed her, have her Sit for about five seconds. Don't put her bowl down until she has "four on the floor." If you control the food, you are the Boss.

While I agree that walking is a great way to bond, I disagree that males are typically the leader. There is a lot of controversy as to whether dogs actually order themselves as "alpha", "beta", etc. The studies that suggested this were done quite a while ago on unrelated wolves forced to live together in limited space. This is not a natural environment for them. Also, even in these wolf packs, there was both an alpha male and an alpha female.

Another fun way to bond is through trick training. Teach her to Sit, Stay, Down, Up, Touch (with her nose), Leave It, Drop It, etc. These should be pure pleasure for your dog: they teach her that human behavior is meaningful; she gets food; she bonds with you; and she learns what's expected of her, which provides order in a scary world.

I know you've said you've spoken to two trainers, but you need to find one that will come to your house and work with both you and your dog. Biting is a very serious behavior problem, and you need to have a good long term plan in place to deal with it.

Thanks for all your recommendations. Sorry, Quicksilver... I do have a lot going on here. There are a lot of us in the house. And I have 2 floors. She pees in areas that have carpets and rugs so we have to always keep an eye on her. Pottying was difficult, you see. She's used to being left alone outside I think, if not being caged all day. So she pees and poops outdoors alone and is afraid of pottying in front of us. She's only starting to potty in our presence so I don't want to correct her on that just yet. There are a lot more things she's only starting to show so everyday is different. This incident set it back for me coz she already follows me around and trusts me then my mistake changed her demeanor towards me.

Anyways, I'll try all your suggestions and I'll let you know how it turns out.

And I totally agree that I have to have a trainer that'll come over. She's comfortable in our place and we need the training where she's more likely to show her true personality. Problem is I don't know which of them can come over. Dog trainers here are hard to find. Some just pretend to be trainers and are in for the money. So you can imagine how difficult it is for me.

Thanks again. Please any other suggestion you can think of, please let me know. I visit this site everyday.

One last idea. Many times when people get a new puppy or dog, training begins with confining the dog to 1 or 2 rooms of the house, or when housetraining has to be renewed. As they gain control, access to other rooms is allowed gradually. You could start her off in your bedroom and an adjoining room. Have you tried using peepads with her? That would be another option.

This would give you more control over her and remove some of her options... seeking out other people.

Thanks again. If I do the confining in 1 or 2 rooms at this point, will it be a bit too late? also, does that mean I have to stay with her all day in that same room or is it ok for me to leave her? let's say longer than an hour or something. I'll leave water crate and things for her to play with and just leave her there. Is that ok? I pity her too much so I end up giving in to what she wants. When she hears the doorbell and she's in my room, she immediately goes to the door and sniffs. So I let her out and go down with her. My parents think I'm already becoming her pet and not the other way around. But she does follow me.

I've also noticed something. Today I think i've made more progress coz she's been playing with me and giving me less of the "scared" look and the cowering. Then I took a shower, came out in the same PJs i was wearing when she slept in my room that night this happened. I dunno if it's the smell or the pjs but I wore a set of pjs during the barking and yelling incident, then i tried to console her and carried her and stuff so i had to change into a new set of pjs. when I carried her to sleep in my room, I wore the 2nd pjs till tonight. So right after i showered, she gave me that look again, and started to cower and hide again. So I changed into a new set. If it's the smell of the pjs then a little washing will correct this right? if it's my smell after the bath, then dammit, does this mean I'd have to change shampoo and soap?? hahaha. If it's the sight of the pjs, then all i need to do is buy a new set and wear that right?

I have sprayed DAP on myself right now and still waiting 15 minutes coz it says in the instruction to wait 15 minutes before exposure to the dog. I hope it works coz I don't want to buy a new set of pjs and changing soap and shampoo can be difficult too. I hope a little washing can change things. I think it's the after taking a shower thing that triggers all her bad memories of that night. Will that ever be corrected or is it a forever thing?

Still didn't work. I wanted to stay at my brothers' room and have one of my brothers sleep in my room so she'll see me first thing and see that nothing happened when i was there and that i didn't yell at her or punish her for anything. but none of my brother's wanted to switch rooms. I was about to get her under the table when my brother accidentally dropped the remote on her, this freaked her out again so I had to carry her and comfort her. She was shaking while I was carrying her, I didn't know if it's coz it's "me" carrying her (wearing my pjs and just finished showering) or if it was my brother dropping the remote on her. She had to sleep with me tonight coz everyone is leaving early tomorrow and no one will be in my brothers' room in the morning before i woke up if she's there. She's hiding in her crate and i had to stick my hand in there and pet her but i think tomorrow I'll give her time and space before i ask or call her to come out.

And we were doing so well today... I was supposed to go up to get something so i asked 1 of my maids to call her and play with her while I go up. so they did, i left and she didn't see me.... but she followed me upstairs and left the maids. That for me was a progress that I had been waiting for. And she licked me a lot too... then tonight I had to impose again. she didn't pee when she jumped after being hit by the remote so I'm hoping that means it wasn't dog hysteria. It's never ending...so much happens in this house and she can never feel comfortable around everyone which is a problem. So everytime something that scares her happens, it's like she feels completely helpless if the people she trusts are not around and she's with the rest of the family. She'll never feel safe in our home if she's always like this.

I've been trying this technique but since we have 2 floors it's sort of difficult for me to just stay in the living room with her all the time. So what I do is if I go up and she doesn't follow, I leave her to it and don't bother her and just give her space downstairs. The maids do their thing downstairs and just ignore her too. It's depressing to watch her really coz it's like she wants the maids to just acknowledge her so she can go play with them but since everyone is ignoring her she can't play. And when I'm around it's like she doesn't dare go to them to play coz I'm around and i think she feels like I give her the go signal to either play or not play. I don't know if they're that smart but that's how it looks like to me.

I still let her sleep in my room though even though she doesn't want to follow me after I take a bath, coz no one will be able to watch over her if she's downstairs and it's hotter downstairs at night.

Is there something I should be doing differently? I try not to look at her even though i see her watching me. When I'm on the couch though, she'll sometimes jump on the couch and sleep right next to me. It's confusing. she's afraid but she sometimes sleeps next to me and follows me around.

When you come out of the shower, do you have your hair wrapped up in a towel? Or is it just wet?

Sounds like you are making great strides with her, and that she's beginning to accept you.

I think it might be best for you to follow as normal (for you) a routine as possible. Sleep in your own room, she'll learn that's where she can find you. If you change around it could confuse her. She will adapt to your ways.

Once the shower problem is figured out she should be fine. Just change one thing at a time in order to find what is setting her off. If more than one is changed you won't know what to avoid or work on with her. I would do whatever is easiest first, and maybe most obvious. Did you seen a difference with different PJ's? May have to try it 2 or 3 more times to be sure. Also, act normally, don't confront her to check for her reaction. This is something that she may get used to if you show her this is your normal behavior.

It can take months for a dog to really settle down and begin to trust the new people in their lives, and to find their place. And yes, they are very smart. I picked up my dog's bed to wash it. When he saw it was gone, he panicked. I think he thought I was getting rid of him, which had happened in his four previous homes. I carried him around until his bed was dry and put it back in his spot. He got right in it and settled down, I could see the calm come back over him.

No, it's not too late to confine her, and you don't have to stay with her the entire time. Set her up with water and toys and her crate in the 2 rooms she should be fine.

A word about pity.... you feel bad about her life before she met you. She's living in a new world now. You're giving her a great life... what's to pity at this time? You'll only confuse her more... be happy and enjoy her in the 'now'. I'm sure she wants to forget her past too!

Washing the PJ's may help, if they're the problem. Just do your normal routine, and try not to look at her when coming out of the shower. She will learn what is normal for you and that memory should fade with time. Or a light robe over the PJ's?

Shampoo... maybe get another brand and add it to your favorite... may change the smell enough.... if that's the problem. Remember only change one thing at a time.

Thanks again for the help. Our home has 2 floors, so when I confine her in 1 or 2 rooms, it would be my room and say my brother's room? So she'll eat in the 2 rooms? or am I allowed to bring her downstairs for mealtime? I think she found a spot downstairs when she's all alone, she stays by the stairs. I actually let her roam freely in the house, but when I'm around she follows me around. I close the door leading to the dirty kitchen where the maids room are so she's not tempted to stay there and she has gotten used to staying inside the house even if the door is open. She usually follows me everywhere in the daytime, it's during night time when I'm preparing to shower and when I get out of the shower and when it's bedtime that she starts acting up.

As for the PJs, i had them washed today and I've changed my shampoo, still didn't work. I think it may be my scent after the shower coz I went out today after I showered, so when she saw me after my shower, I was wearing different clothes but still the same reaction. I come out of the shower with my hair down. When I left, since my hair was still wet i let it down, but when I came home, my hair was already up so she was all excited. I turned off all the lights and came up, that's it she came up 2 steps then went down. I had to carry her up to my room for bedtime coz it was too hot downstairs. I think it may also be the bedtime thing. the fact that she knows I'm going to bed and she'd have to stay with me.

I also do my own thing after i shower, i come out and not bother her and do my own thing. I do call her though without looking at her so I guess I have to ignore her right after the shower and stuff.

Oh, and another thing. She likes to dig and push things with her nose to cover what she's dug out. I noticed her doing this to her blankets and pillows, she was trying to hide this chicken flavored nylabone I got her. I dunno why she wants to hide it, is it coz she hates it? Coz I got her another toy when she first got here, it's a little stuffed thing from Petstages, and she plays with that. She chews on it. She likes to chew on door stoppers too but those are a bit dangerous coz she swallowed a small piece, so I got her a nylabone. She doesn't chew on it like she did with the doorstoppers. Also got her a kong, she also tries to hide that. So, what I did was put lots of blankets on this box so she can do her "digging" in there. So it's like her play pen. I put that thing everywhere, downstairs and in my room. She has a crate that she sleeps in, and I also bring that downstairs when she's there.

This time however, she prefers to sleep in the playpen and not in her crate. It's sort of close to my bed, but the crate is closer. So I'm thinking maybe she is really distancing herself from me when it comes to bedtime.

Both of my yorkies love to hide any type of chew toy or bone. I do not think it is a bad thing, my yorkies seem to love it. They hide it in pillows and blankets and in a few days find it again and they get so excited. I think it is something that yorkies if not all dogs do.

It sounds like you have made some real progress with her. As far as ignoring her, I would reccemend if she wants to play or looking for attention give it to her. If she is looking at you, look back at her and in a very sweet voice call her over and tell her she is good. When she approaches you put your hand out to let her sniff you and then very slowly pet her. Try bringing a toy in and play with her. Also getting training treats (very small & soft treats) or small pieces of boiled chicken and when she comes to you give her little pieces and tell her she is good. If you accotiates you with nothing but good things (food & love) she will have a much easier time trusting you.

It's understandable that you do have things to do any you are unable to sit there all day with her in one room but if you try and dedicate some time every day working on this would probably speed up the process. Also I wouldn't have the maids ignore her either. If she is trusting in them do not take it completely away.

Do you go to bed with your hair up or down?

I think it's your hair. It's up when you enter the shower and down when you come out. To her, she's thinking the one coming out is a stranger. Probably can account for her leariness with being in the bedroom with you at night.... she's not figured it out yet.

When she's watching you, take your hair down in front of her, slowly. At the first sign of fear, put it back up. And talk sweetly and reassuringly to her the whole time you're messing with your hair, so she can hear that you're the same person.

If your room is private enough, maybe leave the bathroom door open so she can watch as you transform in front of her eyes.



It is a Yorkie thing to try and bury treats and toys, and to dig in the blankets. This is totally normal behavior and many, if not most, Yorkies do it.

Thanks Star and KJC!

To answer you question on my hair, it's down when I sleep. So maybe it is the hair and the fact that it's night time she'll be stuck with me when my hair is down. This sucks though coz I'll be cutting my hair soon so it'll mean that my hair will be down most of the time in a bob.

Today I fed her in my room and just stayed with her in my room for most of the morning so she started peeing in my room again. She growls at this glass cabinet that I have, she watches it all day and growls at it. I keep going to it and reassuring her that it's nothing by patting the cabinet and stuff. But I dunno what she sees in there that makes her so angry at it. Probably why she slept in the play pen instead of her crate coz the crate is right next to the glass cabinet.

Wow. I have nothing to add, I just wanted to wish you luck. I have a fearful dog that acts like I'm the worst person in the world sometimes. He LOVES me, don't get me wrong. He has made it clear that I'm his world. But, every once in a while, he'll sit, put his head down, shake and if I approach him he'll even pee. Why he is that way, I don't know. It took me 3 months to get him to play with me, 6 months to get him interested in toys, and 1+ years to teach him to play tug. He's still not getting it. :rolleyes: It takes tons of time, patience, and discipline to make a difference with fearful ones. Stick to a routine, keep everything predictable, and she'll come around.

GOOD LUCK!!!

She'll eventually get used to your hair, I think it just freaked her out going from being up, then down. Try letting her see changes... cut may be better... easier for her to adjust to.

She's probably seeing her reflection in the cabinet...

If it turns out to be your hair that's bothering her, then you can just scrap all the other stuff... that was just a way to get her to bond with you, but now we know that you are not the problem, just your hair that is causing the problem. So once you find a way to soothe her fears, and she accepts your hair, I don't think you'll have a problem with her with bonding or anything! Keep your PJ's and your shampoo, let her have the run of the house, as she seems to do better housetraining that way, let her play with the maids, and just enjoy her company. You did say she follows you during the day, so that means she does like you, she's just not used to a person that can change their appearance (in her eyes) so quickly. After your hair is cut, just be careful when you shower and go from dry hair to wet hair. I know this seems trivial, but on her level, it's major, so if you can minimize changes in your appearance, I think you'll do a lot better with her, she won't be getting as freaked out. Let me know how it goes... and best of luck with her!

Thanks. I tried what KJC suggested about putting my hair down then putting it back up and letting her see it. I think she sort of gets it. It takes her shorter to recover now. But she still gets the shock. She has her moods every once in a while. Sometimes she'll just act like she's scared of me and peek and see if it's really me. Then later she'll be all clingy and stuff. It's still crazy but I'm trying. I give her walks without a leash sometimes coz she gets freaked out by her own leash, I think having her on a leash is like constricting her free will so I figured I'll let her go without a leash and keep an eye on her and just try to comfort or reassure her when she gets freaked out. This actually worked coz I wanted to go into the house so I told her to follow me and she didn't follow so I allowed her to walk and discover some more. Then when it was really time to go in, she went in. When we were in I let her settle down a bit and asked her to go out again. This time she just stood by the door watching and she didn't want to go, so I didn't let her. She's not a very confident dog and I think it's coz she doesn't feel confident enough that she'll be just fine with me. So I allow her to discover that she'll be fine.

I don't know if what i'm doing is right or not but i'm just trying everything I can try. If you think there are some things I'm doing wrong, please let me know. As far as the Alpha thing goes, I think she never thought of herself as an alpha, coz if she did, why would she be so scared of everything?

i got another question... Are Yorkies supposed to have wet noses all the time? Coz I know having a wet nose is a sign of good health. Mine would have wet nose at times but dry at times. Like in a day she'd have wet nose and then later dry then later wet. So I dunno if she's sick or she's having some problems coz her nose is not wet all the time. When I took her to the vet due to her dehydration a couple of weeks ago, she had wet nose and it was dripping. I asked the vet and she just said my dog is just frightened so she's not licking her nose to regulate the wetness.

Dunno what your experiences are. Are their nose wet all day? When they wake up?

Thanks.

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This is probably off the wall, but it almost sounded to me like she might have a vision problem. Do a little vision test, like throw a small bit that she might like, to see if she can see it. Of course, with their noses they could sniff it out. Just a thought that occured to me with her waking up and suddenly being frightened of you.:confused: