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07-13-2008, 09:30 PM | #1 |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: PORTERVILLE, CA
Posts: 1,574
| New Drugs For Women NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN DAMNITOL Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours. EMPTYNESTROGEN Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out! ST. MOMMA'S WORT Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days. PEPTOBIMBO Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception. DUMBEROL When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks. FLIPITOR Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. MENICILLIN Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. " BUYAGRA Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree. JACKASSPIRIN Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat. ANTI-TALKSIDENT A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators. NAGAMENT When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth. |
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07-13-2008, 09:32 PM | #2 |
Learn Yorkie CPR! Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,855
| LOL cute! I already take Fukitol!
__________________ Nicole & Baby "The more men I meet, the more I love my Yorkie!" |
07-13-2008, 10:04 PM | #3 |
Lovin' My LilBug! Donating Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Kentucky
Posts: 2,513
| Lmao love this post! I've so gotta use these, def. using the jackasspirin the next time my lovely bf makes me mad about something! We always use weird stuff with each other anyways... I'll just simply reply "UGH, I need a jackasspirin" haha
__________________ love my lillybug! rags and ribbons! |
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