Need Some Advice, Please

[GAOMariposa]

Hello everyone. I really need some advice for you. I am currently deciding on taking my little one from California to New York, but there is a little more to this situation that is making me hesitate a little. Here is my story:

I had my little monkey Itzel with me since she was 8.5 weeks old and we lived in Mexico. When she was about 3 years old, we went back to the U.S. and lived with my family. I was home completely for about a year and half while I was studying for an exam. I came back to Mexico and to school in December of 2011, but I decided to leave me little one at home with my family because I was only going to be gone for about a month before returning back to the U.S. for Christmas vacation. When I came back to Mexico in January, I had to make a difficult decision: I had to leave my little one with my family because I was going to have to start doing rotations in hospitals outside of the city and I wasn't sure where I was going to be staying. The hospitals are in little towns, so it was going to be impossible to find a place that would be dog friendly and safe for her while I was gone, especially if I was to be doing 36 hour shifts.

Since January of 2012, my little one has been at home with my parents and my sisters. I had thought about bringing her with me to Mexico but since I was so close to graduating and Mexico has really strange laws about allowing pets to travel in cabin and crossing through customs, I decided it would be best for her to stay with my family. Now here is my dilemma. I am graduating in June of this year and moving to do a one year internship in New York. I want to take my little one with me. I've missed her so much these last few years that she hasn't been with me 24/7. But what worries me now is how will she react to being completely alone with me in New York. At home, my family is going most of the day because of work or school. I know my hours in New York will be 8 to 4 or so, depending on my rotations. And I am planning on getting her a little Yorkie sister sometime soon. I spoke with a breeder and I'm supposed to contact her again in June to see if there are any puppies available. But even if there is one available, the puppy will probably be coming home to me in September or so.

So here's where I need your advice: will she be okay with living with just me again? I see my baby every time I go home for Summer or Christmas vacation for a month and during spring break for 2 weeks. And I make sure I am still responsible for her: I have her food shipped to my family's house, as well as order her treats and bullysticks so my sisters don't have to worry about doing that. But will she be okay to just having one person around until I get her a little sister? I want her with me, but if she will be unhappy, as sad as I will be, I would leave her with my family. ;( Sorry for the long ramble, but I just need to figure out what to do. Thank you so much for reading all this and for your replies.

[Deb1]

I would say it all depends on how attached she is to your family and who has she bonded with. Is she excited to be with you when you go home or does she tend to want the other family members? If you think she would be overly stressed about the move and lack of attention, as hard as it would be....I would let her stay put! It just depends on her ability to adjust to a totally new situation and home. Very difficult decision......

[MandiesMom]

Awww, you are such a good mommy to even worry about this!! Congrats on your success in school, too!

First of all, I think that as long as you love her the way you do, that she would be just fine with it just being the 2 of you. I suppose, what I would want to ask is why not let her stay with your family until you do get settled in NY and get her a playmate?

I don't think there is one perfect answer here. I think you should do what you know is right in your heart. The schedule you are talking about is not a crazy schedule or anything. I wouldn't let your schedule or her being alone some of the day be the deciding factor.

[brezofleur]

Congratulations on the internship!

I agree with Deb and Terri. First find out/realize who she's closest to. And then do what you feel is best.

[Teresiana]

Awww...I feel for you. This must be a difficult decision. I agree with MandiesMom that it might be a good idea to get settled in NY first. That way, little Itzel doesn't have to deal with the stress of the move. Moving is already stressful enough for a human. It's wonderful that your family has been willing to take care of her while you have been studying and working. Do you think they would let you take Itzel to NY for a few months "trial" period? Maybe give both of you some time together to see if she will be happy in NY? It's such a difficult decision to make without having spent a lot of consecutive time with her the past few years. I do believe that you'll be able to create a happy, loving home for her. But just in case Itzel doesn't adjust well to her new environment, at least you'd have a back up plan. I wish you the best of luck in your decision. I know it's a tough one.

[GAOMariposa]

Originally Posted by Deb1

I would say it all depends on how attached she is to your family and who has she bonded with. Is she excited to be with you when you go home or does she tend to want the other family members? If you think she would be overly stressed about the move and lack of attention, as hard as it would be....I would let her stay put! It just depends on her ability to adjust to a totally new situation and home. Very difficult decision......

Thank you for your reply. Whenever I'm home, she sticks to me. She wants me to pick her up all the time (which I'm happy to do). When we come home as a group, she greets me first and then goes with my sister. When I'm not at home she sticks to one of my sisters but when I'm home, she'll go to sleep with me. Itzel has her bed in my sister's room and if I'm in there watching TV, when I leave to go to bed, she'll grab her kitty (her favorite stuffed toy) and follow me to my room. So I guess she still loves her mommy, even after I've left her for months on end. ;(

[GAOMariposa]

Originally Posted by MandiesMom

Awww, you are such a good mommy to even worry about this!! Congrats on your success in school, too!

First of all, I think that as long as you love her the way you do, that she would be just fine with it just being the 2 of you. I suppose, what I would want to ask is why not let her stay with your family until you do get settled in NY and get her a playmate?

I don't think there is one perfect answer here. I think you should do what you know is right in your heart. The schedule you are talking about is not a crazy schedule or anything. I wouldn't let your schedule or her being alone some of the day be the deciding factor.

Thank you for both compliments. I had actually thought about getting settled in NY and getting the new baby while I'm there. But I'm only going to be in NY for a year so by the time I'm settled, it will be time to move. LOL! Hopefully to somewhere closer to the west coast.

I would love for her to be with me. Plus, she and I would get plenty of outdoors exercise and she would get trips into the city. She loves going bye bye in the car and my sisters don't really take her out anywhere. They don't trust the Kwigy-bo sneaking in thing. Heheh. I went with my sister into our undergrad's library with Itzel in the KB and my sister kept saying, "She's going to bark, we're going to get kicked out" etc. etc. It was so funny. LOL! With me, every time I'd go out, she'd go with me. But I just want to make sure she will be 100% happy with the move and with being with just me. It is a hard decision.

[Charlies Mamma]

I guess I would consider how much she will be alone if you move her, right now she has many family members to tend to and have company with, if you move her to be with you and then you cannot spend the time she is used to getting now, how will that affect her? it sounds like with your family she has allot of attention as you know they need/love will you be able to give her the same if you move her?

[GAOMariposa]

Originally Posted by Teresiana

Awww...I feel for you. This must be a difficult decision. I agree with MandiesMom that it might be a good idea to get settled in NY first. That way, little Itzel doesn't have to deal with the stress of the move. Moving is already stressful enough for a human. It's wonderful that your family has been willing to take care of her while you have been studying and working. Do you think they would let you take Itzel to NY for a few months "trial" period? Maybe give both of you some time together to see if she will be happy in NY? It's such a difficult decision to make without having spent a lot of consecutive time with her the past few years. I do believe that you'll be able to create a happy, loving home for her. But just in case Itzel doesn't adjust well to her new environment, at least you'd have a back up plan. I wish you the best of luck in your decision. I know it's a tough one.

Awww...thank you for your advice. My family has been wonderful. I feel like a parent who pays child support for their kids. I made sure she has food, treats, etc. sent to my parent's house so they won't have to worry about it. Actually, I have to order her food online since the stores that carry it in my area are an hour away. I think I can always think of that as an option to take her back to California if she isn't reacting well to the move. I can always sneak away a weekend and take her back home. Thankfully, California doesn't require a health certificate and I think most airlines don't for in cabin pets. I've been crazy researching the requirements. After the fiasco in Mexico, I decided to make sure I am well informed before moving her.

[GAOMariposa]

Originally Posted by brezofleur

Congratulations on the internship!

I agree with Deb and Terri. First find out/realize who she's closest to. And then do what you feel is best.

Thank you so much! I like Teresiana's idea of having her with me in NY for a bit. If it doesn't work for her, I can always take her back home. It will give me an excuse to go home and see my family before the Christmas holidays.

[brezofleur]

Originally Posted by GAOMariposa

Thank you so much! I like Teresiana's idea of having her with me in NY for a bit. If it doesn't work for her, I can always take her back home. It will give me an excuse to go home and see my family before the Christmas holidays.

Exactly!

[MandiesMom]

Originally Posted by GAOMariposa

Thank you so much! I like Teresiana's idea of having her with me in NY for a bit. If it doesn't work for her, I can always take her back home. It will give me an excuse to go home and see my family before the Christmas holidays.

I think that is a great idea! A trial run. If it doesn't work for her and your family is good with her coming back, sounds like a win/win scenario.

[Yorkiedaze]

My only suggestion is to leave her with your family were I'm sure she is settled in. I would also wait till "you" are settled down back on the west coast before even getting another little fur baby to be leaving home for such long hours then taking a move back, living with your family till you find a place to live. I think it's better you take care of getting your career on track and get settled.

[GAOMariposa]

Originally Posted by Charlies Mamma

I guess I would consider how much she will be alone if you move her, right now she has many family members to tend to and have company with, if you move her to be with you and then you cannot spend the time she is used to getting now, how will that affect her? it sounds like with your family she has allot of attention as you know they need/love will you be able to give her the same if you move her?

Hi. Thanks for your reply. In terms of time, I think I may be away from her 8 to 4 or less, depending on each rotation. My family is typically out of the house from morning to after 5. One of my sisters comes home at 3 at the earliest. She's not as close to this sister as to my middle sister. And my middle sister is out right now from 6 a.m. to 7 p.m. which is a bit. The good thing is that while she's not as close to my other sister, she's not by herself. And I guess I like what has been suggested before. That is she's having a hard time adjusting, I can fly her home.

[GAOMariposa]

Originally Posted by Yorkiedaze

My only suggestion is to leave her with your family were I'm sure she is settled in. I would also wait till "you" are settled down back on the west coast before even getting another little fur baby to be leaving home for such long hours then taking a move back, living with your family till you find a place to live. I think it's better you take care of getting your career on track and get settled.

Thanks for your reply. The problem is that I am hopefully getting a puppy from a breeder who is close to the NY area where it would be safer to have a puppy shipped to me. It's a puppy from my dream breeder, so I wanted to take advantage of being closer to that area. If I were to wait until I'm settled and don't work longer hours, it will be at least 6 years before I can have my baby with me again and get another one. This year, I'll have shorter hours and I will have a month off in August and in December. Unfortunately, with the career I chose, I'll have to be in NY for a year and then wherever I hopefully get a residency spot. And then I'll be in that area for 3 years and then I want to do a fellowship for another 3 years. Heheh, it's a long long time, but worth it.